Emotional rollercoaster - anybody else have this?

[[ma...]]

Hi,

 

I've been having these intense memories of the past and melancholia. Lots of projectile crying out of nowhere, it doesn't feel bad per say, but it is intense... Is this the part of it?

 

Can anybody else relate??

 

M

[[br...]]

I'm pretty sure you'll get a lot of hits on this one.

 

9 months out, I'm crying much more. Like you, I look a it as OK.

I think it provides some relief, actually.

[[re...]]

100%  mine went on a long time. My past memories were not good ones. It was hard but it got a lot better.

Hang in there. It can get bumpy but you will get past this

 

[[Bi...]]

Yes, and it goes on and on until you figure it out. Things that were resolved long ago.

 

Billy.

[[ma...]]

Thanks!

 

I feel very real with this stuff and it is kind of a relief. I guess it will take as long as it takes...

 

M

[[On...]]

I have had a lot of my past come back that I thought was resolved and much of these issues transpired well before I took any diazepam or anything. Some of these bad memories are from my childhood and come about during the daytime as if they were just a recent "revelation" or new perspective on an old subject. Of course I have had some pretty involved and weird dreams and or nightmares, especially in the last few hours of sleep (on the rare occasions I sleep).

 

I also get crying jags, that I can control around other people. It's also less likely to happen when I am around others, but when I am alone it can be overwhelming, so I just let it out for minute and feel all the better for it. I'm trying to relax and not fight any of these withdrawals as much as possible, just trying to accept them for now as part of a temporary healing process, knowing that it will go away eventually. It has to!

[[Sc...]]

The crying spells I've had are unbelievable.  Sobbing that goes on for 2 hours straight.  Anything that is only remotely sad will send me into it.  I can go weeks with no crying spells and then it comes out of nowhere - and hard!  I try to see it as therapeutic and I just let it happen.  The more I keep it in the worse I feel.  My poor eyelids are swollen so many days. 

 

Like you said, there's no way of knowing when it will subside...but it's very common to have this feeling.  I try to embrace it and see it as my body's way of healing. 

 

All the best to you...take care,

Schatje

[Guest [...]]

hello

 

Absolutely cant imagine this not happening.  I dont think you can go on this journey and not be on a rollercoaster.  If im not scared out of my wits im usually crying its one or the other all bad.  Im sure there is a end to it somewhere.  Im also having lots and lots of flashbacks and thining things like why did i do that or why was i with him etc etc.  If only i had led my life differently blah blah blah.  Just goes on and on a bit like me really lol.

 

Lizzy

[[ma...]]

Wow, thanks all of you.

 

The quality of this emotion is very direct and impossible to repress. It makes me think that the years on benzos halted a lot of emotional work in the unconscious that needed to be done. Now that the meds are letting things go.

 

It is interesting how much of this emotion is backwards looking melancholoy - I could have done X, said Y, how did I get here etc. It kind of feels OK but wow, it is crazy intense.

 

Thanks,

 

M

[[Fl...]]

Still getting these emotional waves at 14 months off. For me they started later in the first year. These days they are usually brought on by some kind of trigger so they aren't random and unpredictable like they were in the past but it's still definitely being influenced by the benzo wd.

[[to...]]

I am 9 months off.  My recovery has been in two completely different phases.  Phase 1 began when I started tapering, and involved horrible physical side effects.  Since my benzo was Restoril or temazepam, which is a benzo used for insomnia, my most immediate physical s/e was rebound insomnia.  Others included tinnitus and vertigo/balance problems.  I did a 3 month taper, and about 2 weeks after my final dose, I was sleeping better than in years, and my vertigo problem was gone.  I still have tinnitus, which reminds me of those more horrible s/e but isn't a real problem for me.

 

Phase 2 started around month 7, when I began to experience emotions again.  It was like my emotional self awoke after 10 years of unconsciousness.  First came the negative emotions - depression, anxiety, and a tendency to over-react and get mad/angry easily.  About a month later, positive emotions came back to life, and I felt like I fell in love with my wife all over again.  Around that time, I had a big increase in limbido as well, about the time of the return of positive emotions. 

 

I battle this on a daily basis now out at 9 months.  It is getting better, and the joy of having ANY emotions is sooooo much better than being emotionally dead.  I've read this gets over in time as well, so don't despair!  And, having the positive emotions is so totally worth whatever you have to deal with short term with the negatives.  Just recognize it isn't you - it's the benzo w/d.

[[ma...]]

Thanks for sharing.

 

I can see how this is working - maybe. As my receptors come online I'm really feeling my life in all it's intensity. Today was filled with enormous melancholy and crying, but the tears are relaxing as well. The memories are so freaking real and intense. My God. I didn't know I could so emotionally raw.

 

It's like shoving everything down with benzos is just not OK to do. I thought was using it for sleep, but I see how it has crashed so much more of my life.

 

I feel in touch with parts of me I really had forgotten. The memories from early adolescence are especially poignant today. This is my life - it is both terrifying and precious. I can totally see how one might fall in love again in this state. The world is emotionally charged and alive.

 

I too have had vertigo and tinnitus - these are incredibly difficult issues to deal with.

 

Thank you thank you thank you.

 

M