Please give me your opinions on this..I am paralysed on what to do!!

[[Sh...]]

Hi my story is below in my signature, if you could read it that would be awesome so I won't have to write as much here  .

 

I have been holding at 0.35mg of ativan (the equivalent of 3.5 mg of valium) for almost 3 months now with 95% horrific times of pure depression, anxiety and exhaustion etc... and a few okay windows for a day here or there. I have been afraid to do anything in terms of my taper and all I do is search the internet for some answer and some hope. Should I stay at this dose until my brain catches up with this and I get more stability and then cut or is it really true that no healing takes place until I get off the drug completely and I am just wasting time holding at this dose? I am debating going down to .03mg of ativan (the equivalent of 3mg of valium) but not sure if I should since I am so unhappy and debilitated at .35mg and if it gets much worse i can't imagine dealing, yet i don't wont to be stuck in no-mans land in this horrible pain if it is not still healing me at this dose?

 

I did try crossing over to Valium about 2 years ago when I was down to 1.3mg of ativan and even though i did it very slowly and followed the Ashton manual, it didn't work I was horrible for about 6 weeks till I went back to ativan. Supposedly ativan affects one receptor of the many it affects, that doesn't affects valium so some people have trouble because of that. In terms of a taper plan, I went very slowly until my 2 month sauna detox where I went down .5mg in 2 months and that really has made it tough and I have been at .35mg for 3 1/2 months and as you pointed out in tolerance withdrawal. I have purchased compounded .1mg and .05mg ativans so I at this point was thinking of going down by .05mg but I am scared to make a move . 

 

Thanks so much for reading this and I would really appreciate your thoughts!

 

Sean

 

[[wo...]]

Hi Shift400,

 

First, I just wanted to say that you are very strong and courageous for dealing so well with what you have been going through. The fewer window days than more times are really difficult, and though I know it has been several months, this will pass and you will feel better! For what it is worth, I thought I would respond and offer some advice (and ask some questions). I hope others on Ativan are able to give you more personal experience to work from.

 

I am interested in others' advice regarding whether not continuously tapering causes more grief than good. The standard everyone seems to trust here is to reduce once your symptoms have more or less subsided. I suppose my advice would be to take stay where you are and taper when you have more good days than bad, or when your body tells you it is time. I doesn't seem like you are prolonging your suffering at this point, but that is also a question I have about these low doses. I would give your brain time to heal and adjust. You decreased your dose by more than 50%, so I'm not surprised you are feeling so bad. Considering your history, you seem pretty sensitive to benzos, and at a relatively small dose like you were taking, it was too much.

 

Questions I have:

1.) What are you able to do most days? I am guessing you are not working/engaged in a normal routine (no judgment there--I can't work right now until I figure my taper out).

2.) Do you have a support system, or someone who is helping you through this hard time?

3.) What are you eating? Are you able to exercise any?

4.) How are your doses divided across the day? Are you withdrawing between doses?

5.) Are you taking any supplements?

6.) Is there anything you were doing at the detox center that seemed to help you have some better days that you can incorporate into your life at home?

 

Have you talked to your doctor about this? Though I know quality of life is compromised during withdrawal, almost four months of constant symptoms really negatively affects your quality of life. I am not suggesting you up your dose, but I guess I am wondering if you have considered doing that. Are you still doing any sort of detox (diet, juicing, sauna)? Well, a lot of questions! Hang in there. Each day you are healing.

[[Sh...]]

Hi Woodelf, thanks for the support and concern  I appreciate it!! I hope you are doing okay and you work out a comfortable taper and it is not to hard! Great questions! I will answer briefly because it is alot to think about and am not as with it today

 

Questions I have:

1.) What are you able to do most days? I am guessing you are not working/engaged in a normal routine (no judgment there--I can't work right now until I figure my taper out).

Not working, have my own business but it is struggling right now so that doesn't help the mood but it also means I don't have to be as stressed about getting things done. I exercise and walk, meditate, talk to friends and try to find answers to this,

2.) Do you have a support system, or someone who is helping you through this hard time?

Friends and family that are caring but it can be hard for them because they don't really understand benzo withdrawal. I don't have a partner at this time so that is not as easy

3.) What are you eating? Are you able to exercise any?

Eating well, very conscious of diet and excercise 30-45 minutes of cardio most days

4.) How are your doses divided across the day? Are you withdrawing between doses?

.1mg in morning .05mg in later afternoon .1mg in evening and .1mg in middle of the night

5.) Are you taking any supplements?

High Vi C, Fishoil (High EPA), Magnesium,5000 vit d, vit e, try different things and not sure what helps or hinders the withdrawals. Also wonder if Gluten or milk affect withdrawals days later after taking them, so my diet is painful, no gluten, milk products, minimal sugar and organic greens and meat and brown rice, nuts etc..

6.) Is there anything you were doing at the detox center that seemed to help you have some better days that you can incorporate into your life at home?

Sauna seemed to help but I haven't been able to drag myself in their yet.

 

Have you talked to your doctor about this?

Yes and he just says go back up, or try an antidepressants, nice guy but not a big help sadly.

Yes everyday I fight the urge to go back up.

Thanks for caring and I hope you figure out the best method for you in your taper!

Sean

[[sp...]]

I agree about taking care of your quality of life.  How often are you on the computer?  I'm realizing when I'm on the internet, I get really anxious and feel I have to read everything and ...ugh.  It makes me go into my head and become very very anxious.  So I 'm trying to decrease internet time and just do other things.

[[Sh...]]

Yes totally agreed with both of you!