Please give me your opinions on this..I am paralysed on what to do!!

[[Sh...]]

Hi my story is below in my signature, if you could read it that would be awesome so I won't have to write as much here  .

 

I have been holding at 0.35mg of ativan (the equivalent of 3.5 mg of valium) for almost 3 months now with 95% horrific times of pure depression, anxiety and exhaustion etc... and a few okay windows for a day here or there. I have been afraid to do anything in terms of my taper and all I do is search the internet for some answer and some hope. Should I stay at this dose until my brain catches up with this and I get more stability and then cut or is it really true that no healing takes place until I get off the drug completely and I am just wasting time holding at this dose? I am debating going down to .03mg of ativan (the equivalent of 3mg of valium) but not sure if I should since I am so unhappy and debilitated at .35mg and if it gets much worse i can't imagine dealing, yet i don't wont to be stuck in no-mans land in this horrible pain if it is not still healing me at this dose?

 

I did try crossing over to Valium about 2 years ago when I was down to 1.3mg of ativan and even though i did it very slowly and followed the Ashton manual, it didn't work I was horrible for about 6 weeks till I went back to ativan. Supposedly ativan affects one receptor of the many it affects, that doesn't affects valium so some people have trouble because of that. In terms of a taper plan, I went very slowly until my 2 month sauna detox where I went down .5mg in 2 months and that really has made it tough and I have been at .35mg for 3 1/2 months and as you pointed out in tolerance withdrawal. I have purchased compounded .1mg and .05mg ativans so I at this point was thinking of going down by .05mg but I am scared to make a move . 

 

Thanks so much for reading this and I would really appreciate your thoughts!

 

Sean

 

[[Ho...]]

You must be triggering those symptoms somehow are you doing anything to combat them ?

 

My first half of my taper was hard I did everything wrong

I was eating wrong I wasn't doing the biofeedback I was suffering.

 

I corrected my diet and started biofeedback and everything changed plus I held for a few months and got a second wind then continued the taper and it went smooth.

 

 

 

[[pr...]]

I wouldn't say that it's a sure thing that you're somehow causing these symptoms by anything you're doing in your life.  What you describe does happen; people can get destabilized in the middle of a taper, usually by going too fast, and sometimes they really can't stabilize again even with a long hold.

 

If you've been holding for 3 months with absolutely no improvement, you may want to try a very small cut.  Is it possible for you to cut less than 0.05? that's still equivalent to 1/2 milligram of Valium and many people tapering Valium find that to be too big a cut at once.

 

If the cut doesn't help at all then I'd consider an even longer hold.

 

I would also recommend taking a look at everything else in your life, like Hope says.  Make sure you're keeping your stress as low as you can.  Try to follow a daily routine.  Eat a healthy diet as low as possible in refined carbs (white flour, white rice, et cetera) and with no sugar or caffeine.  Get some gentle exercise as often as possible (gentle walking is usually best).

 

If I were in your shoes, given what I've seen over the years, that's what I would try.

 

I would also start a daily journal ranking your symptoms on a scale of 1 to 5 and noting any changes in your daily routine, changes in events in your life, and any cuts or changes made in your medication.  That will help you figure out what helps and what hurts.  We can't rely on our memories during a taper; having a daily record works much better for people.

 

Also, I don't need to tell YOU this, but for anyone else reading this:  Usually when people do anything drastic like a detox during withdrawal, this  is what happens.  "Cleanses" are designed for people who are healthy and stable.  Withdrawal is no time to stress your body in this way.