Please give me your opinions on this..I am paralysed on what to do!!

[[Sh...]]

Hi my story is below in my signature, if you could read it that would be awesome so I won't have to write as much here .

 

I have been holding at 0.35mg of ativan (the equivalent of 3.5 mg of valium) for almost 3 months now with 95% horrific times of pure depression, anxiety and exhaustion etc... and a few okay windows for a day here or there. I have been afraid to do anything in terms of my taper and all I do is search the internet for some answer and some hope. Should I stay at this dose until my brain catches up with this and I get more stability and then cut or is it really true that no healing takes place until I get off the drug completely and I am just wasting time holding at this dose? I am debating going down to .03mg of ativan (the equivalent of 3mg of valium) but not sure if I should since I am so unhappy and debilitated at .35mg and if it gets much worse i can't imagine dealing, yet i don't wont to be stuck in no-mans land in this horrible pain if it is not still healing me at this dose?

 

Thanks so much for reading this and I would really appreciate your thoughts!

Sean

[[Br...]]

From someone who never took a drug in their life, to take 1 mg of Lorazepam on the death of my mother for one month, went cold turkey unknowing that I had to taper and I am now in withdrawal hell. Read the Ashton manual, find a doctor that believes that withdrawal from their pill candy is real and strap on your seat belt. Reach out to everyone and get as much info as possible. The sooner you are off this stuff the better! It has ruined me, my family and my life.

[[pa...]]

Hi Sean, you're suffering as you are having tolerance wds.  I can,t advise you what to do, but what I would recommend, go into Tapering on forum, post everything you need to, they'll guide you on this.  I know it's rough when this occurs.  Post on tapering.  Hang in there, you,ll get off this stuff and you will heal and be fine.  Pattylu

[[sh...]]

I'm sorry you're in such pain, Sean. You're getting down to the gritty end, which is good. You've come a long way and, I'm sure you've made a lot of progress.

 

To answer your question, I think we heal while tapering. As you take some of the benzo away, your receptors adjust, bringing you back down to baseline. IMO, I think that is healing.

 

Are you using the titration method? I can't help you out with deduction in that area, as I have little knowledge about it. Substitution might be a something to consider if things persist.

 

I do hope your symptoms subside. Once I got past .25mg of Xanax, I took a turn for the worse until I jumped. Let's hope you defy those odds 

[[Co...]]

I say try crossing over to a longer acting benzo like Clon or Valium if you can. I found Valium the easiest one to taper. I crossed over to it from Ativan. Wasn't easy though. Ativan has to short of a half life unless you titrate it. You should look into the ashton manual. It will help.

[[Sh...]]

Thanks all of you, you are so supportive!! I did try crossing over to Valium about 2 years ago when I was down to 1.3mg of ativan and even though i did it very slowly and followed the Ashton manual, it didn't work I was horrible for about 6 weeks till I went back to ativan. Supposedly ativan affects one receptor of the many it affects, that doesn't affects valium so some people have trouble because of th\t. In terms of a taper plan, I went very slowly until my 2 month sauna detox where I went down .5mg in 2 months and that really has made it tough and I have been at .35mg for 3 1/2 months and as you pointed out in tolerance withdrawal. I have purchased compounded .1mg and .05mg ativans so I at this point was thinking of going down by .05mg but I am scared to make a move .

 

Any more thoughts I will gladly hear.

 

Sean

[[sw...]]

Hey there,

 

Congratulations so much on getting this far down!!  Hard work over a long time brought you this far, and you are really almost there.  I mean, .035mg- you're in the final stretch!  For me, the final stretch was also the the hardest part of the taper, and I'm sorry to hear that it's been so hard for you, too.

 

I have several lines of thought on your situation, and it's one of those deals where only you will know which, if either, are right.  It seems to me that the two main possibilities to explain your situation are that either your body is still recovering from the last cuts, you are not getting a consistent dose due to a mixing problem with your solution (most likely to me, but doesn't mean it's the case), or you are one of the people Dr. Ashton talks about in the Ashton Manual who hit a point where they can't stabilize and ultimately just have to press forward and keeping cutting and just get off the drug because they otherwise won't get relief until they're off and their bodies can really begin to heal.

 

Best wishes.

 

[[Sh...]]

Thanks, that was very caring advice! I wish I could know which one of the possibilities it is

 

[[sw...]]

Thanks, that was very caring advice! I wish I could know which one of the possibilities it is

 

I honestly think that the most likely scenario is that you are not getting a consistent dose.  How old is your compounded solution?  Do you refrigerate it?  Do you shake it up first?  Do you make it, yourself?  Do you use an oral syringe to measure your dose?

 

There are many factors that could cause problems.  I, myself, had a similar problem when I absolutely could not stabilize at a dose.  My problem was that I was trying to break my medicine down into to small pieces to be precise, and in my case switching over to a professionally mixed compounded solution stabilized my dose and then my symptoms.  However, I've seen other people switch over to liquid and have the same problem for different reasons.  If you've been using the same bottle for a long time because you are using so little of it, that could definitely affect things.

 

Best wishes.

 

[[Sh...]]

I don't titrate, i have my doses compounded which isn't as effective I know but i didn't know about the titration till recently and have alot compounded. I take .1mg before bed, .1mg in the middle of the night, .1mg in the late morning and .05mg in the late afternoon.

[[sw...]]

When you say titrate are you referring to people who grind up their pills at home and disolve it in water?  If so, I definitely do not believe that that is more effective.  At best it's the same, and at worst it's less accurate.  A competently and professionally mixed solution is, to me, preferable.

 

Anyway, how old is your solution and are you refrigerating it?

[[Sh...]]

No mine are compounded pills in .1mg and .05mg pills. I am going to get a professionally made solution i think. How long do they last from a pharmacist if they are professionally made?

[[sw...]]

No mine are compounded pills in .1mg and .05mg pills. I am going to get a professionally made solution i think. How long do they last from a pharmacist if they are professionally made?

 

Well, it may vary pharmacy to pharmacy depending on their formula, but they're usually guaranteed for just a month.  However, in my cog fog that never occured to me and I just used the one bottle for several months with no apparent problems.  Also, it needs to be refridgerated.