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I'm def. healing. :)


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Man I have just felt fantastic this week and some. Been feeling pretty dang good through this whole experience except for a couple of times really. Two weekends ago was terrible... but that just slowly diminished. (insomnia for a couple nights, no appetite, 120 heart rate, anxiety, adrenal rushes, tight constricted throat or esophagus etc.)


I'm totally healing... and I think I've actually had it fairly easy in a lot of way... compared to a lot of stories I read on here. I feel SO bad for all the bb's stories I read that they have had no windows for like 4 months straight and stuff.... =(  thinking of you guys, praying for you guys.


And really through my whole w/d... I've not missed 1 day of work... and nothing has held me back from anything!


I'm still out making films... I'm enjoying my family... I'm in a band... things have been good... but I feel that they are doing EVEN BETTER... I'm doing WAY better than I was last month... and the month before that etc. etc.


It's def. an up and down thing... but I seem to have more UPS than downs. Which is fantastic.


Soon I shall write my success story. :)

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Great news! How are you sleeping now off the remeron? Since you were on the Ativan for anxiety like me, how are you coping with your anxiety? Any advice? This racks my brain everyday how I will deal with the anxiety without a benzo. I have it now, but I am worried it will get worse.  I love hearing positive stories though, keep posting it gives the ret of us hope. :)
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Annie(3) I'm sleeping fine off the Remeron. 8 hours a night probably or more.


How am I coping with anxiety? Well.. luckily I havent had a bad bad case of it yet. Isnt that AWESOME!??


The only time I really got hit with it was 2 weekends ago... and I think it was w/d anxiety.


I just tried to make it through the day... got lots of reassurance from my wife... made myself do things even though I didnt feel like doing them. I remember taking my wife and kids to a movie that night when I was having really bad bad anxiety... and I found relief in that.


Now... if my anxiety comes back, I know it only comes in cycles... it may last a week or 2, or 3 or a whole month... but I know EVERYTHING ends. Even an anxiety cycle. So I'll just have to learn how to deal with it.


But I think ativan has been giving me a pattern of anxiety episodes for 4 years. Not denying I dont have anxiety... but I think I was going through tolerance w/d or just some sort of YO YO USER withdrawal for 4 years on and off.


I just wasnt benzo wise and believed it was ME. And it was a hellish 4 years.


I would see a pattern of anxiety spells... it would be like every other month... I'd be slammed with anxiety for a week or 2...  And I'd probably go to the Dr. every other month just to make sure it was "just anxiety."


Very hellish pattern... thought it was the NEW me... but after I got benzo wise... and discovered "hey, this ativan may be the cause of all my anxiety patterns!"


So.. I weened.


And have been better off!!! I havent been to the Dr. for an anxiety issue or anything in 6 months! HELL YEAH!


I've always been looking for an ANSWER for my anxiety the past 4 years... saw several talk therapists etc. Promising to get to the root of it... nothing worked. No root to be found really.


My new psychiatrist who helped me ween off ativan, and believed I was going through w/d... told me that he said he truly believes ive been going through w/d for 4 years on and off.


My initial reason thought for going on ativan was b/c I was indeed having a major anxiety spell that lasted 5 days. No sleep... pacing around like crazy. Scary stuff.


Ativan WAS actually needed then. But that's when the chaos slowly began. It was a God Send at first... probably for the 1st year or 2. Then I noticed my anxiety spells getting weirder, more intense symptoms that the Dr. couldnt explain so he'd just write it off as anxiety.


The reason why i truly think I had anxiety in the very beginning, is b/c I lost my grandmother to cancer.. it was hard for me... 3 months before that my first child was born... 3 months after my grandma died is when all this anxiety started. I think there was a link... just too much going on. I was 23 then.


So I think I have gone through w/d many many times... so I think that has made this easier for me? Like I know not to freak out as bad if I have a weird symptom.


Hope this helped. SO sorry so long! ha!

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Congratulations - I am so glad you are doing well it makes for some very encouraging reading.  I know you told Annie you are sleeping well off the Remeron but would you please tell me whether you were taking it throughout your Benzo taper or only after and whether or not you had to taper it as well.  I spent much of yesterday "researching" Remeron on the net and reading about peeps experiences of it and the comments were very diverse. Most complained about weight gain and the difficulty of getting off it.  I don't mind the former but don't want to end up tapering something else.  Kian posted a query about it Remeron in the Alternative medicine thread so I am sure many are interested in it.



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Lol. Glad you dig the avatar. There's a funny one on ebaumsworld. Lol


Haha, I thought I offended you. I like funny avatars as well.  :)

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Hi all. cnotr, nice to hear of your improving health! Will be looking to forward to reading your success story. Keep in touch.


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    After getting benzo-wise, I went and saw my Dr. (who put me on ativan) he treated me like I was doing too much research and my w/d wasnt going to be all that bad etc. He wouldnt help me ween off at all.


I then spoke to a pharmacist who helped me set up somewhat of a weening plan. He was way cool.


Then a coworker actually told me of a guy who I should go see to help me get off this stuff. My brother called me shortly after and told me I should go see his psychiatrist to help me ween off etc.


It ended up being the same psychiatrist my coworker was recommending. I went and saw him and he was a God Send! He believed me what I was going through... he liked the weening regiment the pharmacist had me on, and then the psychiatrist said he wanted me to take Remeron 15mg to help me taper.


So I took it for 2 months, while weening off ativan. (I weened off my ativan in 1.5 months) So I weened off Remeron in 2 weeks basically.


I then started Remeron back up like a month or 2 later? Just for a few weeks then weened again.


My experience with Remeron is it makes you tired as heck. lol. Can't complain about that. You will be groggy sort of the next day, but it get's better. You def. will put on a little bit of weight. But I welcomed it. It made me hungry and I loved it. The only problem is, Remeron doesnt cause weight gain, what you eat does... but I do think Remeron makes you crave bad stuff. Anything fried, greasy, chocolate, MSG all sounded amazing. lol. And yes, I ate it. But I was cool with that.


I then changed my diet after weening off Remeron. Those bad food cravings leave. I didnt have a problem really weening off Remeron. Maybe a couple nights of not much rest. But that's all.


I also remember Remeron giving me somewhat of a Restless Leg Syndrome at night in bed, but it didnt happen everynight. Putting on tight knee high socks helped stop those. lol. Yes I wore those to bed some nights. lol. My wife laughed at me. I laughed at myself. But it worked!


I also remember the 1st night or 2, after taking Remeron 15mg, when I would lay down and close my eyes, I'd see flashing lights, red and white, then followed by CRAZY images flashing and zooming in towards me! It was NUTS! lol. But you are so tired it doesnt bother you, and next thing your out.


It reminded me of the Willy Wonka Boat Ride. lol. But in a cool way.


Well, hope I answered your questions. I wont ever hesitate to take Remeron again if my anxiety acts up. It helps. :)


The last time I took Remeron 3.75mg worked good for me.

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