Been in a wave since Feb. 5

[[WT...]]

It's now been over a month, and this wave is killing me -- it's the longest I've had to date.  It hit me at approx. 4 pm on Feb. 5, and seems to worsen slightly each day.  The wave consists of so many psychological symptoms, I don't even care to mention them. 

[[WT...]]

To add:  The head head pressure, and face tingling and twitching is getting worse, and those are my BEST symptoms in this nightmare of a wave.

[[...]]

I'm sure this will not make you feel any better, but I've been in one since Feb. 1st   No windows at all since then, nothing, zilch...but I've recently had a few symptoms that have been sputtering (like visual DR, brain fog and long-term memory issues) so that gives me hope.

 

I am almost certain that what awaits me is some kind of slow gradual improvement in symptoms, so I am not expecting windows at all anymore.

 

One thing that I think is helping me make things more bearable is distraction.  Lately, I'm having family visiting my house every other day for a few hours...the distraction has helped me immensely.  I could not believe it, but today for about 1/2 hour I forgot that I was in withdrawal at all!  I mean, the symptoms were there, but I was not paying attention to them. It was not a window at all, but I was so distracted that my mind could not process anything else. Also, I've had a bad cold for a few days and at night it takes me a while to fall asleep because of the cough...well, actually, it's been a blessing in disguise since those nights I have not had any racing fearful thoughts while laying in bed waiting to fall asleep.  I think my brain is too concerned with the cough that it cannot wander as much...just wish I could watch TV--THAT would really help to distract me.

 

I truly hope you get some relief soon...I can't wait for the day I log in here and see a positive posting from you saying that you lost X symptom or that you've found your corner...

[[el...]]

I was hit with a very hard wave on Feb 1st also..I'm still waiting for it to end..Spending most of my time in bed on my facebook to pass the hours away.It helps distract my symptoms as another horrible day goes by..Hope you fell better soon..Well hopeing we both feel better soon...

[[WT...]]

Thanks for the replies.  I'm sorry that you two have also been in a wave for this long stretch -- surely relief awaits us soon.  You know though, despite the fact that I'm still feeling bad, something is different this morning, but I can't put my finger on it.

[[...]]

Sounds like different may be good...if it were bad it would be more obvious right?

 

Every morning I try on a different personality as individual symptoms are more or less pronounced...it may just be that a particular symptom is milder so you feel different. I hope it is the start of some sputtering for you! Good luck!

[[WT...]]

Sounds like different may be good...if it were bad it would be more obvious right?

 

Every morning I try on a different personality as individual symptoms are more or less pronounced...it may just be that a particular symptom is milder so you feel different. I hope it is the start of some sputtering for you! Good luck!

 

Yes, it's definitely good.  I have figured it out -- it's a lessening of DP.  It's not gone, but that is the best it's been in the morning since w/d began.  I'm still getting relief from that as I type this, I just hope it stays and gets better and better.

[Guest [Tu...]]

I admire you for being able to hang in there during this monstrous wave you are enduring. I got hit with a wave in early January and by mid-January I was feeling almost psychotic. I ended up taking some Xanax on January 16, and then more the next day, and on and on for the next 4.5 weeks. I felt some relief, but beneath it was a kind of self-loathing for having made it almost five months and then giving in to the wave. I knew to ride the wave out, but I just was not strong enough and I went back on benzos. It's been several weeks now since I snapped out of it and resumed my c/t, and all the darn symptoms I went through back at the start of my c/t are back with a vengeance! The temporary relief of those 4.5 weeks just wasn't worth it.

 

Hang in there! The wave WILL pass, and you'll find yourself in a much better situation. I wish I'd never given in on January 16. Please learn from my mistakes and just keep pushing through this wave. It WILL get better.

 

Now, back to dealing with my unremitting w/d sxs!

 

Tucson

 

[[WT...]]

I admire you for being able to hang in there during this monstrous wave you are enduring. I got hit with a wave in early January and by mid-January I was feeling almost psychotic. I ended up taking some Xanax on January 16, and then more the next day, and on and on for the next 4.5 weeks. I felt some relief, but beneath it was a kind of self-loathing for having made it almost five months and then giving in to the wave. I knew to ride the wave out, but I just was not strong enough and I went back on benzos. It's been several weeks now since I snapped out of it and resumed my c/t, and all the darn symptoms I went through back at the start of my c/t are back with a vengeance! The temporary relief of those 4.5 weeks just wasn't worth it.

 

Hang in there! The wave WILL pass, and you'll find yourself in a much better situation. I wish I'd never given in on January 16. Please learn from my mistakes and just keep pushing through this wave. It WILL get better.

 

Now, back to dealing with my unremitting w/d sxs!

 

Tucson

 

Hi, Tucson.  I remember reading about your reinstatement in a previous post you made.  Don't ever be hard on yourself for doing what you had to do at the time; these waves can be pure hell.  I know this time you'll make it through at all costs, and you'll heal up just the same.  I'm hoping that despite the fact your symptoms are really going now, that this set back won't put you back to the beginning, even though it might feel like it.  Hang in there, Tucson.

[[su...]]

I wonder if I am in a wave...it's been hell (I just made a post about what I've been going through). I feel like it's never going to end and it's lasted longer than the amount of time I was even on this stupid pill. I seriously feel like going back on it indefinitely will make me feel better than I do now. I know everyone will advise against that. I wonder if you are feeling anything like I am? Since we have similar usage, just different benzo's.

[[WT...]]

I wonder if I am in a wave...it's been hell (I just made a post about what I've been going through). I feel like it's never going to end and it's lasted longer than the amount of time I was even on this stupid pill. I seriously feel like going back on it indefinitely will make me feel better than I do now. I know everyone will advise against that. I wonder if you are feeling anything like I am? Since we have similar usage, just different benzo's.

 

What are you experiencing, Sunkisd?

[[su...]]

I just made a post about it before I saw your post...it should be near the top.

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I just made a post about it before I saw your post...it should be near the top.

 

Just read your post, Sunkisd.  We seem to have different symptoms in general, but I do identify with the feelings of hopelessness and anxiety.  I experience terror, extreme anxiety, severe DP/DR, and some head stuff as physical symptoms. 

[[...]]

Yes, it's definitely good.  I have figured it out -- it's a lessening of DP.  It's not gone, but that is the best it's been in the morning since w/d began.  I'm still getting relief from that as I type this, I just hope it stays and gets better and better.

 

That is just great!!!  Hopefully it is the beginning of the end for your DP.  My visual DR and brain fog did exactly that....one morning I woke up without them but then came and went intermittently until now (after about 1.5 months) they're gone 95% of the time...If only this agitation went away too like that...

[[pa...]]

Hi, my hubby has been in an awful wave since middle of Nov.  Two weeks ago it let up for the afternoon, then he was slammed again with no let up.  He's been 14 months off drug next week.   So sorry everyone is suffering so.  Pattylu

[[su...]]

When you say DP/DR, what does that mean? I know what it "means", but it's hard to describe. I think I have that where I just feel like I am not in a real world, I try to remind myself that I am and things are the same as they always are.

[[WT...]]

Yes, it's definitely good.  I have figured it out -- it's a lessening of DP.  It's not gone, but that is the best it's been in the morning since w/d began.  I'm still getting relief from that as I type this, I just hope it stays and gets better and better.

 

That is just great!!!  Hopefully it is the beginning of the end for your DP.  My visual DR and brain fog did exactly that....one morning I woke up without them but then came and went intermittently until now (after about 1.5 months) they're gone 95% of the time...If only this agitation went away too like that...

 

I hope so, mmir, I really hope it goes away completely.  My visual DR left on Christmas day, but sadly it came back during my wave that began on Feb. 5.   

I hope yours stays away for good.

[[WT...]]

When you say DP/DR, what does that mean? I know what it "means", but it's hard to describe. I think I have that where I just feel like I am not in a real world, I try to remind myself that I am and things are the same as they always are.

 

Your description of not feeling like you're in the the real world seems to be precisely DR.  DP is when you don't feel like, or even recognize yourself, or that you could be feeling separated from your body.  With DP, you may not recognize yourself in the mirror, as I experience at times.

[[Pe...]]

WTBNA,

 

I had a wave start at my 8th month that lasted until halfway through my 11th month...but after it ended I had my biggest sx improvement ever.  I still get mini waves, but since that last long marathon wave my bad days are no where near as bad as they used to be.  I have been way more functional since it ended as well.  Hang in there...it has been my experience that throughout this process long hard waves generally end with a good sx improvements.  I had this happen to me 2 times before...and each time they ended I had a very noticeable improvement over the last time.  I have also noticed that it is not unusual for people to get hit long and hard just before their journey is over...so who knows?..You could be close.

[[WT...]]

WTBNA,

 

I had a wave start at my 8th month that lasted until halfway through my 11th month...but after it ended I had my biggest sx improvement ever.  I still get mini waves, but since that last long marathon wave my bad days are no where near as bad as they used to be.  I have been way more functional since it ended as well.  Hang in there...it has been my experience that throughout this process long hard waves generally end with a good sx improvements.  I had this happen to me 2 times before...and each time they ended I had a very noticeable improvement over the last time.  I have also noticed that it is not unusual for people to get hit long and hard just before their journey is over...so who knows?..You could be close.

 

I hope you're right about the part where I might get better after this lets up.  

How significant was your improvement after the long wave?

[[to...]]

MMIR is right Distract Distract Distract, this will get you off of your symptoms and makes it bareable, it will all go away believe me, I stayed for months and months not lifting my head from the computer, even when couldn't see it but this too shall pass you will heal from all of this, I was there and I know the torture, just get your mind out of it as best as you can

[[WT...]]

MMIR is right Distract Distract Distract, this will get you off of your symptoms and makes it bareable, it will all go away believe me, I stayed for months and months not lifting my head from the computer, even when couldn't see it but this too shall pass you will heal from all of this, I was there and I know the torture, just get your mind out of it as best as you can

 

 

How are you feeling at this point in your recovery?

[[Pe...]]

WTBNA,

 

I had a wave start at my 8th month that lasted until halfway through my 11th month...but after it ended I had my biggest sx improvement ever.  I still get mini waves, but since that last long marathon wave my bad days are no where near as bad as they used to be.  I have been way more functional since it ended as well.  Hang in there...it has been my experience that throughout this process long hard waves generally end with a good sx improvements.  I had this happen to me 2 times before...and each time they ended I had a very noticeable improvement over the last time.  I have also noticed that it is not unusual for people to get hit long and hard just before their journey is over...so who knows?..You could be close.

 

I hope you're right about the part where I might get better after this lets up.  

How significant was your improvement after the long wave?

 

Very significant.  I was not able to do my own grocery shopping or leave the house much before this last one...now I have taken back the shopping and leave the house whenever I feel like it.  Everyday tasks are so much easier as well.  I know the length of this process is frustrating enough without the aggravation of set backs...but I believe set backs are a sign that the body has kicked into high gear in the healing process, as shown by the overall sx improvements which tend to follow.

 

The misery level greatly decreased for me after each marathon tsunami wave...I sincerely hope the same will happen for you.  I have been on this forum long enough to notice this pattern so I think good things are in store for you once this wave ends.

[[Bi...]]

W,

 

 

I have been in this "greenish kind of wave" for the past two weeks, myself. It's the d/r and that brings me depression after so long. Hopefully, a window will emerge for you soon. I call them "Green Days" the waves.

 

Billy.

[[to...]]

MMIR is right Distract Distract Distract, this will get you off of your symptoms and makes it bareable, it will all go away believe me, I stayed for months and months not lifting my head from the computer, even when couldn't see it but this too shall pass you will heal from all of this, I was there and I know the torture, just get your mind out of it as best as you can

 

 

How are you feeling at this point in your recovery?

 

I sometimes feel 90% or even close to 95% and sometimes I drop to 75-80 it all depends on food to me, my stomach is still sensetive to a lot of things, eating well is my challenge, and I can feel that my sxs can elivate to a certain level in the morning and then down and then midday it gets a little worse, and then it gets better in the afternoon, so mine a wavy still each day, but in general it does get better the more I move away from my last pill which was 16 and half month ago, it just takes a while but we will get there