I began this insanity 6 months ago today -- but there is no anniversary...

[Guest [Tu...]]

I began my c/t from Valium on September 7, 2011 -- six months ago as of today. I wish I could celebrate but my journey has been tormented and I've made my share of mistakes... So, while I'm pushing on with this crazy struggle, I don't think there is any anniversary to celebrate.

 

I did pretty good until 4.5 months. I'd taken a few rescue doses here and there, but nothing on any kind of regular basis. I didn't feel good about them, but I kept pushing ahead. In mid-January I was hit by a wave that was worse than when I got hit by my w/d symptoms back in September. Like an idiot, I gave in and took a rescue dose of Xanax. And then another and another and didn't stop for 4.5 weeks.

 

In late February I snapped out of it and resumed my c/t. It's been three weeks now and it's still so intense! I'm pushing on and will deal with whatever comes my way, but I urge anyone who's thinking about reinstating or taking rescue doses to not do it. It's such a slippery slope to just fall back into addiction! If you're thinking of popping a pill, all you're doing is buying some temporary relief (if you get any) and when this beast comes roaring back it's only worse.

 

Hang in there. I'm fighting this beast and I can only keep pushing ahead, day by day, day after day, one slow day at a time.

 

Tucson

 

[[Fl...]]

Wise words, and I think you will manage to live by them this time around.

[[no...]]

We jumped three days apart. I took three tries to get here, you're taking your own way to arrive at the same destination. Did you get any relief when you temporarily reinstated? You know what to expect this time, and you lived through it, hard as it was. I must say, that i too was hit in January with a tsunami of a wave. I can't say I wasn't wanting to erase that agony myself.

Keep plowing ahead. The minutes turn into days, which turn into months.

Best to you- Susan

[[Co...]]

Hi, I went ct in detox...ct can be very, very brutal and withdrawal sx can last a really long time...I wish I would have tapered...have you thought about tapering at all? I recall you mentioning you tried to taper before. I just hate to see anyone risk ct. Whatever you decide I wish you only the best. 

[Guest [Tu...]]

Colleen:

 

I've tried to taper several times but just didn't have the strong self-discipline that tapering requires. Besides, if I were to try to taper now that would mean going back on Valium. I have taken rescue doses of Xanax, and my 4.5-week screw-up was with Xanax. I don't like the way Xanax makes me feel. However, I LOVED how I felt on Valium but when I began my c/t I flushed all my Valium and I DO NOT want to get back on it, even if it is to try and taper. I know I'll just end up on it for the next year or two or three until I decide to do another c/t.

 

So, I'm six months out (minus the 4.5 weeks I screwed up), so I think the best course for me is to just keep on with this c/t process since I've invested so much time in it. I have unemployment benefits until the end of July, and then enough savings to carry me through until about this time next year, so I really, really want to live a drug-free life...

 

Thanks for everyone's comments. I appreciate them!

 

Tucson