There must be something else wrong with me...

[[...]]

If this were more common, I think I'd see a lot more posts about it because it'd horrible painful physically, mentally, and emotionally. I post about my brain issues all the time and don't see many saying they have it too or when they do it's seems different or not as bad. I post about it all the time because it's so unrelenting and scary and impossible to live with. It makes it impossible for me even try and live normal or distract.

 

I search and search and no one is dealing with these brain issues the way I am. If they were them they would be concerned and posting about it. It's just me. I want to think I'm just worrying about it more than they Re, but how it's so bad and feels so permanent, how could I not? It never goes away hit does get worse and easier throughout each day - probably based on my ability to deal with it and the fear of always living this way.

 

I want to believe it's normal and will pass by comparing it to normal symptoms and in ways I cam, but when I can't find anyone who was like this and got better it doesn't give me any hope. I think I'm going to be stuck and suffer like this forever.

[[ra...]]

hey coop my head has been messed up since day 1 my vision is bad  I get bad head preasure on top of my head ears screaming headaches visual dist  sometimes it fills like im in a dream.  but since last Wednesday its been a little better  but for the longest time it felt like a big acid trip except for this week its a mild acid trip compared to what ive been going thru 

[[Mi...]]

Coop, I'm so sorry you are struggling with this.  I see that it has only been 1 week since you jumped off the benzo and that can be a very intense time.  Can you be a little more specific in describing the symptoms and brain issues you are experiencing?  You are not alone, all of us here are struggling in some way.  You are not alone and we care.

 

MiniMinnie

[[ba...]]

coop  please buy bliss johns book  benzo  wise  she lists over  299 w/d  symptoms. you are going to be fine  it is w/d

[[da...]]

Coop,

 

Please hang in there!  I've had double vision without a break since my cold turkey almost a year ago and my head always feels full. I've been checked out numerous times and I'm physically ok. It's all this crazy withdrawal. What exactly are your head symptoms?  I'm sorry I don't think I've seen your other posts.

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I've now had a headache for at least the last 4 months during my entire taper and now through my first week off. It's feels like a lot of pressure and aches around my head and some down my neck. I know that's how the symptom is described but this just has been there every single day in varying intensities. It won't stop and won't allow me to think clearly. I feel in a constant daze and fog from it and can't understand why I've had this the while time and the all these head symptoms seems to go together and be my worst problem. I think it's the only reason I have any anxiety because I'm just worried about why my head is like this. Did anyone else have this and it eventually got better and went away? It's so bad every day. The back of my head even hurts more sometimes from laying in bed with my head on a pillow. Doesn't make sense...

 

Banco, I have her book. I know I shouldn't worry but when it's my head and so painful and won't allow me to think, I can't help it. I try and compare to know it's just the withdraw but I can't relate. I feel like everyone would be as scared and concerned it makes me feel if they were dealing with the same issues.

[[ba...]]

Iam  scared  to  coop we  are  fortunate to  have  loving  wifes, my biggest problem  is  dp/dr  and intrusive thoughts, my  brain  has not been right since being  benzo free,, we are both going to be  ok, we will heal, but  we do not know when, you are  stronger  than you  think  you posts  are very well written. I know it is hard keep the faith that is all we have, one thing that has helped me is live in the now  momement  just get  through the  next hr, then  the next  hour  etc, do not think about tommorow, focus  on the momement.  you will heall  god bless bando

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Thanks, buddy. You're right. I've always been a worrier and an overthinker and maybe that's why I'm having it so hard. Maybe I'm driving myself crazy thinking I can't deal with this and since it feels like it won't ever stop it scares the crap out of me and I try to underdtand what I need to do. If I felt like I was getting better maybe then I could accept and not worry as much, but I just keep worrying and worrying about everything. If it's something else, if it will never stop hurting, if I'll ever feel ok again, how am I doing this, and how am I going to keep doing this. My whole life has been replaced with pain and and cog and boredom and depression and I don't know how to be okay with that. I want to beat it and get better but don't know how.

[[pu...]]

You are not alone at being afraid. I have lots of head issues especially when I walk. When I stand too long or walk I get weird head pains and my neck contracts and makes me feel like I'm going to collapse. the sensation runs up the back of my neck into my forehead. I also feel like I might have a seizure, my head and eyes feel so funny and uncomfortable. I have never had one but it is the only way I can describe it. Like if it continues I will lose all control over my body. I also deal with fine motor skill problems and my eyes don't always focus correctly. I had an mri to rule out brain tumors or ms and they were fine. I hope you can get some peace. I still question that it is all from the benzos as well. Right now as I am typing this i feel like someone is pushing in on both sides of my head at the temples, it feels all tingly and funky.

[[ba...]]

coop, Iam  as scared  as you  are, this  w/d  is  awlful  take  care bando

[[rs...]]

coop, so sorry about the head problems. It could be something else but I seriously doubt it. In the beginning of my w/d I had what some people call brain zaps. Where all of the sudden i would get a pain shoot up the back of my skull. It really feaked me out as I thought I was going to have a stroke. There are so many aches and pains from this w/d it's unbelievable. The brain zaps went away after a couple of months along w/ sharp pains in the ears. They seem to move around the body and sometimes i have stomach pains that feel like tumors. I have been admitted to the hospital twice for seventeen days all from w/d or w/d related problems. The worst was I got dehydrated and nearly lost my kidneys. It seems I am never thirsty after being on benzos a few years. Take good care of yourself and give your body plenty of water and good healthy nutricious foods. You will heal. I hope you feel better,rstud

[[Ti...]]

The last 3 days I have had flu-like symptoms and what it has left me with is a strange, numb brain sensation--like I am in a dreamlike state.  I feel pressure behind my eyes and it's difficult to concentrate.  My brain sometimes feels like it's on fire.  Also a flat affect--difficult to have emotions--I find it physically difficult to both laugh or cry.  No creativity.  I feel like I am living inside myself and it is a claustrophobic feeeling--like the world is going on around me and I'm not really a part of it.  The sensation in my head is very, very uncomforatable.  I have been dealing mostly with severe physical symptoms and not so much mental symptoms--both are awful.  Is this similar to what you are experiencing?  Also I noticed my fine-motor skills have declined.  God I hope this passes soon--it is awful.

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All I can do right now is feel all this mental and physical pain and not even think the way I always have. It's so unclear and wrong. All I see are all the things I'll never be able to do or enjoy ever again from partying with my friends to enjoying a song on the radio to having children or even jus having a meaningful conversation ever again. I really feel like these are all gone and will never come back and I can't get over that possibility. It's killing me. I want to know it will get better in time but I don't know how. All I know is how to suffer and be depressed and sad and hopeless now. One day it was all fine and life was good and then it turned into this.

 

How does it all go back to good again? I need it so bad. I'm barely hanging on everyday through so much negative feelings and thoughts and emotions.

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And on top of all that my life was just getting started when this all began. I'd just gotten a good enjoyable job and just gotten married. Before I even got to live the life I worked so hard for, it had been taken away. I'm only 30 and while that isn't very young, I now feel like a scared helpless little child who constantly thinks life will be like this for ever as much as everyone tries to comfort me and tell me it will get better. I want another chance.

[[pa...]]

And on top of all that my life was just getting started when this all began. I'd just gotten a good enjoyable job and just gotten married. Before I even got to live the life I worked so hard for, it had been taken away. I'm only 30 and while that isn't very young, I now feel like a scared helpless little child who constantly thinks life will be like this for ever as much as everyone tries to comfort me and tell me it will get better. I want another chance.

 

Oh dear Coop,  Do you remember how you felt last Friday as you told ud in your post?  Sure you do!  You are intelligent, can you hook into with your thoughts, why was it bad before, then things settled, got off the drug one week ago, a good Friday, then things started changing again, now bad again. If you can have the good change take place, you have to believe there is NOTHING permanent about this.  Oh yeah, there will be ups and downs, then downs and ups, BUT I have this forum, others are also going through it also, some have the same symptoms, some have different, BUT, everyone does heal.  Why, other bbs have written their Success Story, felt just like I did, BUT they share they healed.  You know what DR. Ashton state in her Manuel, you have the word from other bbs, telling you it will get better and you have the words from all who have healed.  It's rough going through this, but like last Friday you had hope.  Keep the hope, as this will turn around, you have that guarantee from others.  Hugs to you Coop.  Pattylu