Someone please read and respond

[[Jo...]]

For the first time in three weeks I started feeling and thinking "normally" I felt like my old self again. It started last night around 9:00pm that "the cloud lifted". It's now 4:00am the next morning and I started getting little facial tics like when I was first coming off cold turkey. My legs get little shocks but my main problem is that I can't sleep. I keep getting jerked awake and my heart is pounding. I keep doing the 7-11 breathing to calm down but it only lasts about 15 minutes before I'm awake again. The racing thoughts are the worst part. It's like every horror film I've ever seen rolled into one. Just flashing images and scary stuff.

 

It's just I thought that now that the earlier withdrawal stuff was over that I might just have the light and sound sensitivity and the facial "prickings" to deal with. But this is horrible. Can anyone please help?

[[Ga...]]

Hi Johnnie,

 

I am sorry that you are suffering in this way. WD affects people differently but it seems that most experience times when they feel they are improving followed by periods when they feel back to square one. When did you stop? Was it 3 weeks ago? If so, that is still very early on in the process. If you update your signature with info about what you were on, how much and for how long, it would help people to understand more. Again, I am sorry for you. If it helps, I'm at 14 weeks off from a fairly rapid taper and while far from well, I am not experiencing the same intensity of symptoms as before.

[Guest [...]]

hi Johnnie

 

Its very very scary feeling that way because I know its horrible.  The only thing i can say because im going through the same thing just get through one day at a time and try and say to yourself this is benzo withdrawal not me.  Just accept it for what it is easier said than done but ill be telling myself the same thing tomorrow.

 

Lizzy

[[Jo...]]

Hank you both for the responses. Missing a whole night's sleep is a scary thing. During the worst of the withdrawals it was broken sleep, but sleep nonetheless.

Would anyone advise that I stay awake through the day and try resetting my circadian clock tommorrow night? Or is it best that if I fall asleep today to just let it happen?

[Guest [...]]

Johnnie

 

I reckon sleep when you want.  However if you are attempting to want to sleep at night would definately not recommend you have afternoon naps.  Wait till its bedtime for eg if you set 10pm for bed try going to bed at that time everynight.  If you lay in bed for a while get up dont just lie there it will only make things worse for you.  Google sleep hygiene that will give you some helpful tips.

 

Being frightened is horrible now when i feel it which is every night lately i just lay there in it and eventually will fall asleep admittedly not a good one.

 

anyway im off to bed lol hopefully i will sleep and not wake up in a massive panick attack in the middle of the night.

 

Lizzy

[[Jo...]]

Good luck Lizzie. You will be fine and if not, we are all here for you.

 

I don't even want to speak of the thoughts I've been having...psych ward, back on benzos...?

[Guest [...]]

Hey Johnnie

 

stop stealing my thoughts haha was just thinking the same except im still on benzos and so dont want to go back to hospital was just there.

 

how r u feeling

 

Lizzy

[[cn...]]

Been exactly where you've been before I was benzo wise. Thought it was just bad anxiety.

 

I knwo what you mean about the crazy racing mind, flashing images that make no sense... scenes playing over and over in your head that don't make sense... etc.

 

The shocks... the tingles... the insomnia... the anxiety. Icky stuff. No fun.

 

It will get better though. Hang in there. Try not to give it much thought.

[[Jo...]]

Had an awful day today after trying to go back to work. I had an amazing day yesterday where I went grocery shopping, went to church, took our newborn for a walk.

 

But today the seconds went by like hours and I couldn't relax.  I sat in training just waiting for the next break. I definitely pushed myself too far mentally.

 

It's now 8:30pm and I have my mom here. But what I've found works is walking to get rid of the tense muscles and then blather to someone to clear your head. I've been chatting my mom's head off for an hour and a half and although still a little tense I'm definitely not in that state from earlier. Before she got here I was almost ready to commit myself. I was literally on the phone when she got here.

 

The GABA has been helping. I've been taking 3-4 a day and it had been taking the edge off. But today I took two within two hours and it hadn't helped. When I didn't feel better, the walk and the uncontrolled talking helped. So right now I'm on the couch with my facial itchings and leg shocks just trying to heal. AA says one day at a time, BA should say one hour at a time.

 

 

[Guest [...]]

hey Johnnie

 

sorry to see you had a dreadful day but when feeling like this you must remember that yesterday was great.  You will heal you are just frightened mate been there done that today im not but tomorrow i may be.  go easy on yourself.  hey congrats on the baby is it a little boy or girl.  Just look into that face and know that here is a blank slate free of any drama or negativity look into that babies eyes and promise me you will warn that child of the dangers of benzos just like i have warned my children coz no one warned me.  ps.  let the baby grow up first haha.  If I can save my kids from this well its been worth it.  they need to know that we were born exactly perfect with a system designed to help us cope through life.  Unfortunately i believe that some of our life choices went astray and somehow someway we ended up here.  You are going to be ok Johnnie keep talking mate keep walking and it will all pass.

 

thinking of you

 

 

Lizzyxx

[[GH...]]

J5, It sucks , huh. I had, and still have that facial stuff. It was really bad for about 9 months. My skin was so sensitive and my eye would twitch all the time.

 

This is like a wicked carnival ride. You get on and it keeps going, you cant get off till the end.

 

That may not help, but you are in this for the long run. I hope anyway. I think that your sx are well within the craziness of wd. You just need to do the best you can. Eventually you will heal.

 

good healing

[[Jo...]]

I just wish that someone could say that there's an end. Even heroin addicts get relief after a while if I'm correct. I had a great day yesterday (with the exception of an hour or so) and actually made dinner last night and breakfast this morning. Then at church today I had that uncomfortable feeling (tension) and then after church I couldn't finish a doughnut and had to go out and smoke.

 

Yeah still chain smoking like a fiend. I only took one GABA yesterday and one today but everybody is my crutch right now. My wife works nights so my Mom's been spending the last 3 nights. I'm too tense to take a nap, which I know I need.

 

The facial and leg twitching are getting to me still. I don't know which is worse, the mental stuff or the physical. That bad spell I had yesterday was when my legs starting feeling heavy and I had no energy. Speaking even becomes difficult as it feels like I'm just drained. But the tension, fear, and depression get bad. But I'm having long windows so that's a plus.

[Guest [...]]

hey Johnnie give me the physical anyday over the mental ones arrrrhhhh.  I would just give one day to feel stable and im sure you do to.  thinking of you.

 

Lizzy

[[ka...]]

hi johnny5 you are still early in your withdrawls give your self some time i remember watching a scary movie thinking it was realy going to happen in my house so i had to turn it off  benzo can have that affect on our brains hang in there i kept real busy to get through it mine went away at 4 months your will go in do time love in JESUS....kate7