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26 Days Ambien Free (helpful thought I'd like to share)


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I am 26 days Ambien free today.  It has been a road with ups and downs.  This week has been challenging with little sleep (3 or less hours the last 3 nights) and some anxiety settling in each day. 


Some one said something to me today that I thought might be helpful to others on this journey.  I was talking about how I worried if I would ever feel like me again, if my symptoms were really from the Ambien or if maybe I was just "losing" it emotionally.  It has been so long since I felt like the confident me of 5 months ago that I worry that person is gone.  This is a fear I have (particularly when I am awake with anxiety in the wee hours of the a.m.).  This person said to me about this "You have already achieved your goal in just quitting the Ambien, you have won already.  You are victorious.  The rest of it you need to view with curiosity from the viewpoint of an observer.  The rest of it being what the road back to yourself looks like.  Meaning what symptoms will pop up, how long it will take, and how you will manage the experience of getting there.  But you will manage.  You will get there.  Take the timeframe out of it.  Take the expectations (other than that you will succeed) out of it and just ride the wave.  This is helpful to me on many levels.  I truly believe that while I have hated what Ambien has done to me the last 5 months, it has also shaped me in helpful ways and taught me invaluable lessons (compassion/patience).  One lesson I am still working to learn is acceptance.  Accepting that this is where I am right now.  Accepting that my body needs this time (however long) to heal - and it will heal.  Letting go of the need to control and know the outcome of everything is difficult for me.  I hate uncertainty and this withdrawl process is not a journey with exact dates and outcomes.  I need to get as much good out of this experience as is possible.  So I am going to try very hard to learn all the positive lessons I can from this experience.  Including acceptance.


Hope this post encourages others.  Good luck!

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