8 months off - emotional/psychological adjustments

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I am 8.5 months off Restoril, and I have recovered from all physical side effects except tinnitus, which doesn't bother me much anymore, but varies from time to time.  I have some residual insomnia, mostly waking up too early, but it isn't a problem.  I was on Restoril for 10 years at the max dose, and ambien about 10 years before that.

 

What I am experiencing now and have been for about two months is a full blown return of emotions.  I think I was emotionally dead for years, and now all of life is more vivid and real.  I feel more love, more joy, but also at times more pain and despair.  However, I'd rather feel and be alive than in a stupor as I lived for decades.  At times, I over-react to situations that I used to not even react to at all, and sometimes my emotions get the better of me.  I would like to know if others have experienced this at some point after you got off a benzo, and what type of emotions you encountered, as well as how long it took you to get back to normal emotions (no more over-reactions or irrational emotional reactions)?

 

 

 

Thanks!

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Any input for me?

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I write this reply to you while literally sobbing.  I know EXACTLY what you feel.  When I feel love, it's the biggest love ever - I could wrap my arms around the person I'm with.  When I'm angry, I could punch walls (but don't).  When I am sad - like now - I sob and sob - practically wail.  I don't know how long this part of the withdrawal goes on.  The sobbing had left for me recently, but has come back 2 nights in a row.  It's tears that HAVE to come out and if I keep them in, it almost hurts. 

 

I think it just depends on the person...benzo withdrawal is so individualized so for some, the emotional/psychological s/x are the first to go, whereas for others they stick around much longer. 

 

Congrats on being 8.5 months off!  That is awesome that the majority of your physical s/x have left.  You are well on your way...some things linger, but your emotions will even out eventually.

 

All my best,

Schatje

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I started getting hit with emotional waves late in the first year. I spent hours crying like a baby. Lasted from around 8 or 9 months off until about 13 months off.

 

It's definitely a sign that your brain is healing and waking up.

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Howdy...

 

I am almost 7 months out....my physical sx are about 80% healed...still

have some anxiety, depression and the darn tinnitus....sleep is still healing..

I am in a rough patch with insomnia lately, but still feel overall much better.

 

I feel more emotionally connected and alive as well.....but I find my emotions

are more in synch with my real self again. I flew off the handle often during

the worst of times tapering....and felt weirdly hollow and unreactive at other

times...I always felt like the damn drug was in the driver's seat. Now I am

starting to reclaim that function, and boy does it feel good! It's rather unsettling

to realize how out of touch we have been with ourselves and the world...feels

great to be coming home to ourselves...

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How long does the hyper-emotions last?  Did anyone undergo any form of self-help to control these emotions during this period of transition from no emotion to hyper emotion, and eventually to normal emotions?

 

I seem to suffer more from sadness/depression than anything, but also at times I get argumentative and don't even realize it.  I guess that sounds like some recovery associated manic-depression?

 

Thanks for everyone's help!

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Have the same problem- anyone out there with advice?

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Yes - need help.  It seems the negative emotions are trumping the positive ones at the moment.  I have good emotions too now, almost like I can taste life again, but it is the bad emotions (fear, anger, insecurity, depression) that seem to escalate out of control.  Last night my wife got in late, and we had a fight about it that we now both regret (well, at least I do).  My wife needs some reassurance this doesn't last forever.  How long does this hyper emotional state last?  Can you get a handle on this, until the GABA receptors heal up and we are no longer so excessively emotional, or are we on our own?

 

ANY HELP WOULD BE VERY APPRECIATED

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YES! Its so weird feeling better, yet worse at the same time. Good underneath a blanket of negativity.

The negative emotions run rampant for me- a constant train of self talk.

Totally- perhaps you might want to read the recent posts under the thread- "What is this Guys?" It sort of applies.

Even when I feel better, its like a manic better? Like a hyper better.

Hope this is w/d.

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Lovepema, your posting deeply inspired me. I want to be in the drivers seat and not my brain.

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All I read suggests "grin and bear it".  Anyone use any form of self-help to get through these new emotions?  Any book or online suggestion?  I need something to help, before I drive my wife away.

 

Would anyone like to help my wife understand this emotional healing process?  I don't think she understands, because my physical side effects ended months ago.  She needs some reassurance that this won't last forever.

 

Help!

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Help!

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One last bump for any advice for me 

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Benzo-Wise byBliss Johns. Has advice for family. Also while youre waiting for the  book- go on the site called Recovery Road she founded, also has family advice. Google the  Ashton manual- there is loads of advice and info on what to expect there as well. I reread it often when I lose perspective. Man, I am right there with you, as my husband has pretty much put everything I experience in the category of- "its just who you are, deal with it and don't let it affect me."

Oh- my go to personal favorite way of dealing with this stuff - Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart. Its where lovepema's buddy name came from. She is fantastic.

Thats the best I can do right now. She can post here as well!