This debilitated this far out?

[[Ho...]]

I am 6 months and 10 days off the poison.  I have gotten progressively worse since around the 4 month off date.  I know it is not unusual to have a peak in symptoms around now and then begin to improve.  However, I am still just SO debilitated.  I literally can't leave my house at all at this point (even with my husband which I used to be able to do), without my body going into total panic mode.  My mind isn't afraid of anything but my body starts to feel like it's under attack (sweating, lightheaded, increase in DP/DR, heart races, etc.).  It takes me hours to come back down to baseline even after a simple trip to the grocery store.  I feel so isolated and bored.  Therefore, I keep attempting these small outings but in the end it is never worth it.  I have a difficult time even speaking on the phone to loved ones because I get too stimulated.  I am also still super sensitive to lights, incredibly fatigued, and suffer from a whole mess of other psychological symptoms.  I am on the younger side (29) and wasn't on benzos for as long, or as consistently, as many other people.  I truly thought I would be at least seeing some improvements by now!  I know it is the withdrawal because I have no history of any psychological symptoms prior to this mess.  I am beginning to wonder if my pregnancy (I am 7 months pregnant) is exacerbating the withdrawal symptoms.  Is anyone else this bad around 6.5 months off?

 

 

[[re...]]

Hope I was a mess for a long time. I thought I was better at 2 months then went down hill from there. It is better now at 8.5 months off even with my "crash and burn" days.

 

 

 

I thought life was over at 6 months off. But it got better. I know it will get MUCH better in time.

 

Hang in there. You ARE healing even when it may not feel like it.

Keep the faith.

[[Ho...]]

RFB- Thanks so much for the reply and kind words!  I just can't believe how difficult, severe, and lengthy this process is.  It doesn't even seem like reality anymore.  It just feels like a horrible nightmare I can't wake up from.  I am having the most difficult time pushing through these hellish days but I guess I don't have a choice.  I am so glad you are starting to feel a bit better and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Take care!

 

Hope

[[re...]]

RFB- Thanks so much for the reply and kind words!  I just can't believe how difficult, severe, and lengthy this process is.  It doesn't even seem like reality anymore.  It just feels like a horrible nightmare I can't wake up from.  I am having the most difficult time pushing through these hellish days but I guess I don't have a choice.  I am so glad you are starting to feel a bit better and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Take care!

 

Hope

 

Hope, it has been a nightmare. I started tapering October 2010. Was bed ridden and unable to care for myself for many many months before I gave up and jumped off. But it DOES get better. I promise. I have had a very nasty wd, but it is getting so much better. Life is feeling sweet and precious again. Not every day, all day, but in larger and larger chunks of time. I know 100% healing is down the road, just waiting patiently for me.   It will be like meeting a dear friend I havent see in 20 years!!  I can't wait!!

 

If you can focus on your baby, and think of all the wonderful things you are going to do with him or her, it may take your mind off of things. You will have one fabulous story to tell your little one one day! 

 

 

[[Sc...]]

I had an extremely difficult time from months 4-6.  Then once I was 6 months off, I began to see some big improvements.  Hang in there.  I was beginning to think I'd never seen any improvement, or that I'd at least be waiting many more months, and then I literally woke up one day and things were just a bit easier.  Still not great, but so much easier. 

 

Thinking of you...hugs and healing,

Schatje

[[Ho...]]

Thanks Schatje!  I'm glad things are easing up for you.  Your recent posts have given me much hope.  Maybe we will have similar time frames and I will turn that corner any day now.  Take care of yourself. 

 

Hope

[[Le...]]

Hope,

  Your symptoms sound relatively similar to mine at 2 months out. I know reading this doesn't seem to make me look forward to a good time over the next  4 but I have to realize that it will get better! I am praying for you and wish people would post more about the symptoms they are experiencing but there is no telling if anyone feels them except us. Together we will overcome

[[Ho...]]

Leo,

I'm so sorry you are experiencing some of these crippling symptoms!! I wouldn't wish them on anyone.  This process is so incredibly cruel and often unbelievable.  Those who make it through this are incredibly strong in every way (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually).  I wouldn't necessarily expect to feel as badly as I do at 6+ months off.  I have been reading posts on this site for over 8 months and MANY people see major improvements earlier on, or even completely recover by this point.  We are all so different it is hard to predict how things will unfold.  I honestly thought I would be 100% by now, certainly not worse than ever.  I guess we just have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.  It is somewhat disheartening to watch the months tick by and not see any windows or any symptoms disappear.  I hope you start to feel better soon!  Hang in there.  You're right...we'll all get through this together...one step at a time.

 

Hope

[[Le...]]