New and a question

[[Wi...]]

Hi everyone, good to be here! I´ve been dependent on Lorazepam since November 2007. I switched to Diazepam in 2009. I tapered and my first benzo-free day was on Sept. 27th, 2011. I did all this without a doctor. I consulted a psychiatrist last year, but never told him that I was on Diazepam. I knew he would have sent me straight to the hospital for a 14 day detox, so I tapered myself. I have extreme agoraphobia and/or panic disorders. Anxiety and panic have always been an issue before 2007 (Mirtrazapin and Citalopram kept them at bay), but this constant irritability and agoraphobia (house-bound) started with the benzos. I take full responsibility for becoming dependent on benzos. I have to see a psychiatrist every 4-6 weeks to get a refill prescription for Mirtrazapin and Citalopram. Here´s my problem. To get to the psychiatrist I have to take 2.5mg of Lorazepam (to be able to get out of the house). I never reinstate after that (and I don´t ever want to), i.e. until the 4-6 week cycle is up. I´ve backed away from everything for this healing process - time. Otherwise I would make everything worse. My groceries are brought to me by a friend. The only contact to a person I have. I should add: I don´t want any contact to anyone else right now. I´m a living disaster. It´s even hard for me to think clear while typing this. My question: Am I hindering my healing by this 2.5mg Lorazepam every 4-6 weeks? Thank you in advance for your replies!

[[Bi...]]

Wilfred,

 

Welcoming you to Benzo Buddies.

 

You will find plenty of support here.

If you have any questions, let us know.

 

Others will be along to weigh in.

 

If you wish to add a signature: Signature

 

Billy.

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Hi Wilfred,

Welcome to a great site for support and advice.  I just wanted to say hi, but I don't know the answer to any of your questions.  Someone will be along soon who has been where you are.  If you can add a "signature" to your forum profile (go to "Profile" and type in your history under "Forum Profile", I think.  Yes, it's hard to type sometimes as these prescriptions and withdrawal scramble your brain for awhile, but you're not alone here!!

Challis

[[we...]]

Welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

I don't think anybody really knows the answer to your question, taking one dose every 4 to 6 weeks is not a lot, however 2.5 milligrams of lorazepam is a lot. One thing that is for sure, is that healing can only happen once the drugs are out of your body. Although the half life is very short, the drug may stick around your brain for a while.

 

Recently, the neurologist  told me that Zyprexa and Seroquel were found in the brains of people 6 months after discontinuation of the drug. Nobody has really done extensive research on benzodiazepine withdrawal it seems, so the blind leading the blind.

 

I'm sorry that you're going through this hell, I had very high anxiety, at 6 months off. I still have high anxiety but it is coming down very very slowly, I am one year off.

[[...]]

Wow, they found antipsychotics in the brain 6 months after they got off!!!!  I was on Risperdal for about a year and c/t'd a few months ago.  Of course I got off of Welbutrin and alcohol too in that time frame.  No wonder I feel like hell.

[[Wi...]]

Thank you for your replies! I´ve read that benzos may remain longer in the body than one thinks. Worrisome, but I lost all illusions in the second and third month benzo-free, that w/d will be over soon, anyway, lol. My next appointment with the psychiatrist is in exactly two weeks. I seem to be having a window today. How do I know this? My thoughts are becoming clearer. These intruding thoughts, that I can´t identify with, are making life hell. I had a similar condition last Thursday only to be blasted with ringing ears, irritability, etc. on Friday, so I´m not putting my hopes up too high. If you don´t hear from me in the next few days, then I´m being blasted again, lol. I wish you all a wonderful day!

[[ma...]]

Hi Wilfred

 

Welcome to the forum, i had agoraphobia brought on by these drugs, i could not leave my home for a few years.

In answer to your question i dont think you should take the lorazepam your not giving your body a chance to recover.

keep posting you will get a lot of support here

 

Margarita

[[Ch...]]

Wilfred,

Keep in touch, it really helps during the rough patches...hope you don't have one though!

Challis

[[ti...]]

Hi Wilfred and welcome to the boards.  I can't answer your question but I have one for you...Do you think your agoraphobia was brought on by benzos? 

[[Wi...]]

Yes, I do believe the agoraphobia started with the benzos. Although I often feel like I´m going insane (since withdrawal), I do try to hold on to that fact. This is my reason for writing today. The beast of withdrawal keeps telling me that I have always been like this and it´s permanent....I am in constant rage and irritability. I try to divert my attention: I work out every day. I have a little home gym, since I can´t go out. The rage and irritability are worst in the mornings. It decreases a little in the evenings. The beast holds every little sin and/or embarrassment of the past against me. It´s telling me that my constant rage and irritability is the true measure of my character. Then it switches to all the sins that other people committed. Next it gives me guilty feelings for pondering their character defects instead of mine  , lol. It will be 10 monts benzo-free in about 10 days. I feel like I haven´t moved an inch....I can´t write much, since I´m conflicted most of the time, but I do want to share more when this fog clears up. If it ever clears up....My apology for just being a spectator right now.

[[Po...]]

I am so sorry that at 10 months out you are still having w/ds.  I do know that there are others like you.  What dose did you jump from?  Rage tends to be a very common benzo w/d symptom.  I am also heard that too much exercise can rev up your symptoms.  I don't know if that is true in your case.

 

I know there are threads for people who are out as far as you are.  You might want to read some of them.  It might help.

 

Good luck on the rest of your journey,

Popcornlady