Tired of posting about myself

[[WT...]]

I'm so sick of having to do this, as I know so many other people are suffering horribly just like me, but the only real support I have is other people in w/d.  The fear I'm experiencing is so bad right now, and it seems each day it gets worse -- it's not as bad as it was in the beginning and for that I'm thankful, but it's worse than it's been in about 3 months.  I feel like I'm being persecuted by some outside force that  has control of my thoughts and I honestly don't know who I am anymore.. I have little to no concept of my past and they way I used to feel and see things.

 

I wish Ashton or someone can explain how this healing works, and why it's so effin' counter intuitive. I'm being tortured, and I know others are too, and I think we deserve a metal for putting up with this.  I don't honestly expect to be healed as I'm only at months 7, but I expect to be better than this.. and that's a fact, Jack. 

 

 

[[re...]]

Keep posting. Don't worry about it. If it helps you at all, it's exactly what everyone wants you to do. This is a place for people who need support. That's the only reason it exists. As long as you need support, keep logging in and posting. When you don't need so much support, keep logging in anyway. You can answer posts then.

[[Ho...]]

Keep posting, buddy. That's what the forum is here for. 

 

Look at it this way, there will be people that actually get support, just from seeing you get support. 

[[br...]]

  I feel like I'm being persecuted by some outside force that  has control of my thoughts and I honestly don't know who I am anymore.. I have little to no concept of my past and they way I used to feel and see things.

 

 

if it makes you feel any better, one day last week i became convinced the sum of the entire world and universe existed only in my mind.  for the rest of the day i was sure strangers were looking at me like i had figured out they weren't real and had uncovered some vast conspiracy.  crazy time.  and i'm still tapering. 

 

you'll make it through.  we're all in it together.  keep posting!

[[WT...]]

  I feel like I'm being persecuted by some outside force that  has control of my thoughts and I honestly don't know who I am anymore.. I have little to no concept of my past and they way I used to feel and see things.

 

 

if it makes you feel any better, one day last week i became convinced the sum of the entire world and universe existed only in my mind.  for the rest of the day i was sure strangers were looking at me like i had figured out they weren't real and had uncovered some vast conspiracy.  crazy time.  and i'm still tapering. 

 

you'll make it through.  we're all in it together.  keep posting!

 

Interesting.. at one point, I was convinced that the nature of the Universe was just as you described too, and that no one else was real, and that only evil was real.

 

 

[[WT...]]

Thank you all for the support, as I need it so much right now.

[[Wh...]]

It's great that you can post what is happening for you.  I'm sure there are lots of people that your posting helps.  When I was in your stage I was so horrified by the "unspeakable" that I couldn't even talk.  You are able to give a voice to this, keep it up.  It will make lots of folks feel not so alone and lends credibility and reality to the experience others are having too. 

 

I want to assure you that it does go away with time.  Hang on and keep being so strong and so honest.  You may not know it but you are a blessing to this forum.

[[Bi...]]

Hey there,

 

I agree, if you need help, never feel like you have post too much. Keep osting.

 

Billy.

[Guest [...]]

Hello everyone

 

just thought i would add my two bits in.  I think we all have crazy thoughts however i had them before the benzos and now all i care about is getting well.  Like you it just goes on and on and on.  Where is the end I guess its at the end until then we just have to wait and just remember thoughts are only that just thoughts they have no power at all.

 

take care Lizzy

[[Pr...]]

The FEAR hit me around my 7th month too and lasted until my 10th. It's like something out of a horror movie. It will disappear one day and you'll forget what it feels like. Promise

[Guest [...]]

wow Princezz

 

thanks thats made me feel better just reading what you said at the moment im in such fear its paralysing im trying to correct my dose at the moment too rapid a cut.

 

see this post is helping others.

 

Lizzy

[[WT...]]

The FEAR hit me around my 7th month too and lasted until my 10th. It's like something out of a horror movie. It will disappear one day and you'll forget what it feels like. Promise

 

Mine has been with me the whole time, but I thought it was improving.. and then WHAM!  Did yours disappear entirely at month 10?

[[Pr...]]

Let's see, up until month 7 I had bad anxiety. At month 7, I got hit with FEAR. I have to capitalize it to do it justice. At month 10, one morning I woke up and I really didn't have it anymore. I had some mild anxiety I guess but I was doing great. Tapering my antidepressant recently made me experience this again but this time I know it will leave.

[[WT...]]

Again, thank you all for the positives, and support.  I don't know what I would do without you all.

[Guest [...]]

Hey Princezz can you please define your defination of fear was this a pyschological response or a physical response mine is physical just wondering if you were the same.

 

thanx

 

Lizzy

[[Pr...]]

Sorry Lizzie, I usually call it fear when it is physical and anxiety when it is mental. Just a distinction I use

[Guest [...]]

Hey Princezz

 

thats ok exactly what i call it to.  Just started a thread for it.  It can be quite debilitating.

 

Im trying to correct my dose to try and get rid of it however maybe im making things worse if you are saying you have it after being off it.

 

thanks

 

Lizzy

[[Pr...]]

No Lizzy, from your signature it looks like you've dropped too much V way too fast, so in your case a dose correction might actually help, not hurt

[Guest [...]]

Hey Princezz

 

Started going up today feeling worse for doing it my system is so sensitive.  Im hoping my body will adjust to the increase.  Dropped the last .5 18 days ago when i was feeling good.

 

 

Lizzy

[[Pr...]]

It will likely take a lot of time for you to feel better from a dosage correction. Valium takes weeks to build to a therapeutic level in the bloodstream due to its long half life.

[Guest [...]]

aaah Princezz that makes sense then.  Im feeling very racy from increasing it but i understand i could be feeling like this for a while till im sorted.

 

will keep you posted.

 

Lizzy

[[el...]]

Please keep posting...You might not know it,but your posting for me too..Im right there with you now...We are standing side by side..I dont know whos feeding worse...Lol  I think its me!Im hanging on to the end of my rope,I cant even think about swinging,it makes me to dizzy!