Never had toxic sleep like this before....

[[Ho...]]

So I should have learned by now that in the late morning, if I force myself to fall back asleep after I've already waken up once, bad things happen... this morning I fell into what must have been a toxic sleep, more extremely vivid dreams (that's nothing new), but also to accompany those dreams I got the most uncomfortable, scary adrenaline rushes that made my heart beat soooooo fast. In my half-sleep I really thought I was going to have a heart attack or something... It would last for a brief burst and then would stop, but I was also breaking out into a sweat, just overall my body was freaking out!! I've never had my heart pound that fast, it was so scary

 

 

Can't believe 9 months out is the first time I'm experiencing this.... 

[[Fl...]]

I have only had a handful of the adrenaline rushes but I have had very similar sleep disturbances since I was 9-10 months off. Even now at 14 months off I will go through a week at a time of waking early in the morning and tossing and turning for the next three hours while my brain cycles through all sorts of crazy dreams.

 

A couple of nights ago I even had a dream that I was on a city bus, traveling down the interstate at 70mph. I was toward the front of the bus looking out the front window and saw a dump truck stopping directly in front of us. The bus driver didn't see it until it was too late. I remember getting an adrenaline rush right before the bus hit the truck. I woke up a few seconds after our bus bounced off the back of the truck (leaving everyone unscathed).

 

The good thing is that this is a sign of healing. Another good thing (for me anyway) is that when I have maybe days of broken sleep and crazy dreams it is usually followed by a couple of weeks of rock solid sleep and a nice window. I'm on about day 3 of the bad sleep this time around so hopefully I will be going into a window early next week. I can always hope anyway....

[[Ho...]]

FG, is this really a sign of healing?

 

The rushes were sooo scary, I can't imagine what could make my heart pound that hard for about 20 seconds, and then stop all of a sudden, and then start pounding again. It was coinciding with a dream I was having that was pretty scary, but yeah..i've never experienced anything like it.

 

Thank you for replying

[[Fl...]]

I have woken up from these insane dreams drenched in sweat, freaking out, heart pounding.....pretty crazy stuff. It has to be a sign of healing. Dreams are normal and healthy and while on clonazepam I didn't have them.

 

I would guess that our brains are going a little haywire trying to reset after having had so much stuff repressed over the years. I still get nightmares but they aren't as bad as they were a few months ago, and I have even started having a few good dreams that were in techicolor 3D. That shows me that my brain is finally finding some balance.

[[to...]]

The cardiac issues for me have been almost debilitating.  I cry so much out of fear.  Asking myself is this the big one??? is the withdrawal killing me???

[[sw...]]

I had nothing but toxic sleep for about the first 7 months off.  It is a truly awful thing, but I am sure that it will ultimately pass for you just as it ultimately did for me.

 

Best wishes.

 

[[Ho...]]

3D technicolor... dang lol. Well I hope they settle down soon for the both of us... they make sleep pretty stressful for me, to say the least.

 

Tonnii, have you talked to your doctor about these issues? I recently tried a beta blocker for my heart racing during performance anxiety and it helped me quite a bit...

[[no...]]

Holly- I have read in Ashton and other sources that this type of event in sleep is, in fact, a healing event. Sounds impossible, but while we have been on benzos, it suppressed our deep REM sleep. You were only getting light sleep all that time. Now that you are off your brain is definitely trying to find balance. And you are having now to process all the memories, information that has not been able to be processed prior. I know it sucks, but you know its not dangerous. Our hearts can do all sorts of pounding- its like cardio work!

I have this same thing happen, and for me, the best thing is to get up immediately, have a conversation about something, move around, step outside...

Hope you sleep well tonight- Susan

[[Ho...]]

Thanks for the advice Susan, definitely helpful! I'll try it if it happens again

[[Fl...]]

3D technicolor... dang lol. Well I hope they settle down soon for the both of us... they make sleep pretty stressful for me, to say the least.

 

Yea, I had a dream the other night that I was on a small boat floating in the middle of a tropical bay. I was standing near the edge looking into the azure blue, crystal clear DEEP water and saw schools of bright colored fish swimming to the top. It was literally the brightest and most vivid and beautiful dream I have ever had. Felt like I was on another planet.

 

As far as settling down....I have been having more nights of vivid dreams lately but most of them aren't scary, so yea, it has settled down for me.