Anger at Medical Profession

[Guest [...]]

Hey there everyone is there anyone else out there that has anger for being prescribed this stuff in the first place for in most cases a minor anxiety or panic disorder which could have been fixed with counselling. 

 

Why do they hand this stuff out so freely without warning.  Im so mad I have just rang the hospital I went to the first time and told them that I had found out that I was allergic to the medication and they just said oh we are sorry about that if you need to come into hospital again just remind us aaaaahhhhhhhh what a joke

 

 

Lizzy

[[...]]

I am angry that benzos are often being over prescribed and that most doctors generally don't seem to be knowledgeable about the damage they can cause.

However, I also feel a lot of sadness about all them time lost to this process of tapering and trying to cope with withdrawal symptoms.  It saddens me that I'm not able to do many of the things I used to enjoy and that I'm not well enough to spend as much time as I would like to with the people that are important to me.  :'(

[[...]]

What's the point? Being angry isn't going to help my withdrawal at all :/

 

All I care about is getting better.

[[...]]

What's the point? Being angry isn't going to help my withdrawal at all :/

 

All I care about is getting better.

 

Excellent attitude.  It's great that you are able to focus your energy where it is needed. 

[[Te...]]

My doctor has been very cooperative helping with the Ashton taper from 30mg Temazepam.  But....he too is the one that gave me the original script for the 30mg Temazapam.  I can't say that I'm angry about that because at that very time...I was crazed by weeks of insomnia when all the other herbal remedies and over the counter aids were failing me.  But....what makes me angry and at some point I'm going to ask him.....why didn't he start me off at 7.5mg or at least 15mg....why did he give me the strongest dose to begin with?  At some point....I am going to ask this question. 

 

Taz

[[...]]

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”

 

I still struggle with acceptance but thought this quote has a place in this thread.

[Guest [...]]

Trig

 

that is fantastic that you feel that way good for you.  If you had just spent the last 7 months on your life being put on a huge variety of anti depressants and developing horrific reactions to them ie nearly jumped out of a moving car.  Then collapsing due to serequel and rushed to hospital by ambulance then on top of it all was then given an antidepressant which i told them i was allergic to whilst being give 4mg of xanax to take and spending 8 weeks crying and crying never stopping whilst never being told the drug was addictive he just said it would help with anxiety which it obviously didnt.  Then told to go c/t by another doctor and suffering horrific reactions to that instant vomiting, facial numbness extreme fear etc a horror movie couldnt explain what i went through.  I dont even know what xanax feels like because of my now diagnosed severe adverse reaction to it.  Then spent the 7 weeks all over xmas while your two children suffered without you while you switched over to valium at 45mg and was taken down to 2.5 in 18 days then you may understand where i am coming from.  Ever heard about the  5 stages of grief you will see anger is amongst them thats where i am and am happy to be there one day i will come to acceptance.  I dont know why you took benzos in the first place but I was perfectly fine before them just had anxiety thats it.  I never took these drugs willingly i was so sick my family just made me do what the GOOD DOCTOR said.  So yes damn straight Im angry.  I have gone from the happiest girl in the world so full of love to this miserable cow.  Maybe you will have a better understanding

 

Lizzy

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^I figured you would respond like that, taking it out on me. Not sure why I even bothered...

[[Ga...]]

Lizzy I think you have every right to be angry. And youre right it is one of thr 5 stages of grief, its only human you will get past it though and onto the acceptance stage. It will be better for you.

I was VERY angry at first when I was put thru this when I couldve tapered and maybe not been thru something so horrendous.

Im over it now I just want to get better so I can get on with things.

You sure were put thru the ringer Lizzy...

 

[[ma...]]

Yes I am very mad at my original doctor. Really pissed off actually.

 

But my new Pdoc is actually giving a talk on benzo use to the physicians in my town. Basically he is sick and tired of treating BZ patients hooked because GPs and other Pdocs are so ignorant. He is on board with Ashton Protocol if patients want that and I have absolutely no beef with this guy at all - he is fantastic.

 

We need more docs like him. He's fairly young so I think he might be reflective of new teaching in American Medical Schools.

 

He also said while doing his internship in the inner city he saw seizures and all sort of madness from benzo abuse as a street drug. He feels these are "rescue" meds only and should be treated almost like steroids and opiates.

 

I agree and having him on my team is great.

 

M

 

[[Ho...]]

Trig

 

that is fantastic that you feel that way good for you.  If you had just spent the last 7 months on your life being put on a huge variety of anti depressants and developing horrific reactions to them ie nearly jumped out of a moving car.  Then collapsing due to serequel and rushed to hospital by ambulance then on top of it all was then given an antidepressant which i told them i was allergic to whilst being give 4mg of xanax to take and spending 8 weeks crying and crying never stopping whilst never being told the drug was addictive he just said it would help with anxiety which it obviously didnt.  Then told to go c/t by another doctor and suffering horrific reactions to that instant vomiting, facial numbness extreme fear etc a horror movie couldnt explain what i went through.  I dont even know what xanax feels like because of my now diagnosed severe adverse reaction to it.  Then spent the 7 weeks all over xmas while your two children suffered without you while you switched over to valium at 45mg and was taken down to 2.5 in 18 days then you may understand where i am coming from.  Ever heard about the  5 stages of grief you will see anger is amongst them thats where i am and am happy to be there one day i will come to acceptance.  I dont know why you took benzos in the first place but I was perfectly fine before them just had anxiety thats it.  I never took these drugs willingly i was so sick my family just made me do what the GOOD DOCTOR said.  So yes damn straight Im angry.  I have gone from the happiest girl in the world so full of love to this miserable cow.  Maybe you will have a better understanding

 

Lizzy

 

Lizzy,

 

I'm sorry for what you've been through. While I understand your anger, please understand that many of our members have been through hell and back, just as you have. Their circumstances might be a little different but many lives have been changed and hurt while going through this process. You're not alone on that front. Members have lost jobs, friends and family due to their own withdrawals. I am not minimizing what you've been through, I just want you to understand that many members truly do understand where you're coming from.

 

We also have some members who, after going through hell, have learned that it's an easier road once they've learned how to accept their symptoms and circumstances. Acceptance isn't an easy concept to learn, especially when you feel you've lost so much but the fact that any member can say that they are at a place where they've learned to accept, is a milestone in their recovery and should be applauded.

 

This isn't an easy journey. I hope things get better for you soon. Again, I'm sorry for all your pain. I hope things start to turn around for you soon.

[[GH...]]

Id, you be angry if that helps you. The people here have suffered greatly. We all want to get better, that is our priority.

 

You were in agony for 7 months, that is bad. Check out some other stories. 7 months may be long fpr you, but nothing for a lot of others. I have written off 10 years of my life. That is right-10 years. My entire 40s.

 

Be mad, or dont get mad, get better.

 

The people here will try to help you get better. I hope you dont focus your anger at us.

 

I want to be mad at losing 10 years, but what good would it do. I look forward to the future. Life is so short. Now that I have my self back, I realize that more then ever.

 

I wish you healing...

[Guest [...]]

WOW Trig

 

didnt think i was taking it out on you just explaining myself so you may understand why i am angry dont know why i bothered either.

 

Thats hardly taking things out on you read on mate you will find im not the only angry person on here

[Guest [...]]

Oh my sorry for any offense i have caused with opening this post have not said anything about other members and im very supportive to many.  If I want to be angry at the medical professionals I can and I will.  I do not have to justify myself to anyone.  Thankyou for those who understand and yes I know its only been 7 months but Im still in the midst of it all and could be like this for years who knows.  Ghostship please explain where i have got angry with anyone because ive reread it and cant see how.  Once again apologies for anyone Ive offended.  Im sorry that anyone has had to suffer regardless of why they chose to take benzos.  Im a person who is antimedication after a severe reaction to ssri's 8 years ago when I lost my baby and swore i would never touch any mind altering substance again but I did and I have to live with those decisions and the consequences of my actions. 

 

 

Lizzy

[[GH...]]

Lizzy, dont worry, we understand. Some of us have ranted on and on. The benzo brain can be hell.

 

we will support you. Just remember lots of others are going  thru this hell too.

 

Never know, being an Aussie, there may be a communication barrier..You know two people separated by a common language, lol.

 

Just come here, you are among friends. It may not be perfect, but it is really good. It has helped me so much to know others are in the same boat.

 

I tell everyone to keep the faith. Faith that you will get better. It takes so long. I have been off for 16 months, and am greatly improved. I am still not there yet.

 

Lizzy, welcome to hell, enjoy the ride.

[Guest [...]]

hahaha Ghostship think its the brash Australian way often offends others.  That's what you get when your ancestors were sent as criminals across the ocean to a barren land.    We were given no manners from the start.  jokes aside i do love it here and am happy im glad you are off and feeling better keep up the good work.  Thanks for the welcome to hell i hate rides but ill try and enjoy.  Did you start to feel you were going crazy coming off the stuff??  Do you have a blog i could read promise I will not post any angry comments on it

 

Lizzy

[[GH...]]

Lizzy, I have often said that the US was settled by people that were thrown out of all the other countries. That may not be a popular sentiment though.

 

I was on another site for a long time. The site was similar to this, but went belly up. I lost contact with most everyone. I even lost my name of lostsoul. But it seems that most of those people came here. so it is fine. There was a live chat feature also. I dont know why, but it is down for a while. There is also a private message feature, I think. No one has sent me one yet.

 

I have a thick skin, i understand that people are hurting here. I also find that I am now a senior guy with  this.

 

I dont have a blog here, sorry. I thought of starting one, but have not. There are so many, I am worried that no one would read it. I also have some differing views about all this.

 

I have an understanding wife, and no other family to care for. That alone has made this so much better. That may seem strange because you might think that family would be supportive. Some are some are not. I was in very rough shape for 8 months. It was hell. What got me thru it was my attitude. I have been very positive all along. I know that I will heal. It takes so long to get through  this.

 

People going thru this can get very desperate. I was one of them too. Some people try other drugs, prescribed. some try supplements or even booze. I was able to just say no to everyone. I even thought that i might be having coronary symptoms at a point.  I just figured that it was benzos. I guess i was right, I am still here. I have good insurance and could get all sorts of tests....etc etc...i am going on here. It is late night and i wake up. I am in florida usa, i guess it is the afternoon for you.

 

I see that you are ok...keep it up..

 

 

[Guest [...]]

hey Ghostship shouldnt you be in bed what time is it there its 4.21pm here friday.  You definately have a melting pot of people in the USA.  I lived there for a while actually my first loser husband is in florida believe it or not made a joke to one of the girls on here who is also from florida if she could hunt him down and get the 18 years of child support he owes me haha. 

 

Australia is obviously based on convict history although the land was already owned by the Aboriginals anyway the white australians took over and caused so much damage to the original owners its not even funny those issues are still happening to this day as the invaders introduced alcohol etc and disease as you can imagine.  I do love history if you can love anything during this hell.  Oh so i was on the other site to but not for to long as i went to hospital for those seven dreadful weeks.  hey a chat would be good on this site that would add another dimension.  I feel like im spending half my day on here connecting and its raining but the bucket loads here so its either this or facebook.  so glad your wife is good to you my husband said when i was in hospital that he doesnt think this is for him anymore couldnt have been more supportive but was always good before i got sick work that one out like i need that like a hole in the head.  Im going to start believing that i will heal hard to though.  My shrink who is a good guy although he tapered me in 18days from the 45mg and then told me he drops everyone at 2.5 i told him he was barbaric typed me out a letter saying that he promises 100 percent that im not brain damaged or i can sue him and he signed it lol.  hope he is right.

 

thanks for writing and ill send you a pm soon just so you have one .  im glad you are positive what symptoms do you still have?? if any

[[GH...]]

Lizzy, I stay up till about 2 am. I have never needed much sleep. I get up at 7 or 8 am. It is 1:04 am right now.

 

Maybe I know your x? The old child support game!! I never had kids. Did not want them. I dont want an x either.

 

Our countries have a lot of similarities from m point of view. We killed off the people that lived here. We called them Indians and not aboriginals. Same thing. And like aus, we are still having problems. That is being human. I guess. I saw, i cam, I conquered.

 

I hated history in high school , but I love it now. The founders knew how to "eliminate" the locals inhabiting this country.

 

I taped off Oxycontin and benzos over two weeks at a comprehensive pain rehabilitation program. They just took us off all our medications. They did give us a batch of their own. I stopped all of them 2 weeks later, have been dug free ever since.

 

That is so funny about the shrink. A letter stating that you could sue him, if? Here anyone can sue anyone for anything at any time. My guess is that it is the same there, I dont know anything about the health care system though.  I think you have that evil socialized medicine. That is a bad word here, lol. We need a single payer system badly!!! I have good insurance though.

 

 

My symptoms: aches and pains, my head feel disconnected from my body, dizziness, twitching spontaneously all the time, I still cant read a book or magazine-cant remember it at all, jumpy-when my phone rings, I jump, some shakiness all the time.

 

take care

 

ghost ship

 

 

[[...]]

WOW Trig

 

didnt think i was taking it out on you just explaining myself so you may understand why i am angry dont know why i bothered either.

 

Thats hardly taking things out on you read on mate you will find im not the only angry person on here

You took everything I said completely out of context.

 

Did I ever say "you have no right to be angry?" Nope. I said what's the point? Huge difference b/w those 2. Being angry isn't going to affect them and it isn't going to help you. There's no benefit from it. Of course I was angry until I realized that I get zero benefit from it. I can walk around fuming all day or I can just accept my situation, one leads to perpetual unhappiness and one leads to serenity, or as close to serenity as you can get in withdrawal. I was offering my offering my opinion that it's not very productive and probably a good idea to move on. If you didn't want to talk about it why'd you make a thread about it? There's a saying that goes, having resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. That's about all that being angry does.

 

Anyway you don't have to tell me about how withdrawing sucks I've been doing it for 8 months, I know. You act like I haven't been in pain every day for the last 8 months. Anyway this thread is stressing me out, I don't need that, I was trying to help, I wasn't attacking you.

 

Peace

[Guest [...]]

Trig its ok you are obviously more advanced in your acceptance than me thats all.  Please dont get stressed out and im happy to talk thats why i opened the thread im getting lots of support.  Im only 4 weeks out of a rapid detox hospital my brain is not thinking straight.  I have since posted an apology for upsetting anyone yourself included.

 

take care and recover well

 

Lizzy

[[Mi...]]

Lizzy come on over here and get a big hug and total acceptance.  Those of you bashing my homie back off!  LOL.  Lizzy, you can be as angry as you want to be.  I am angry at my doctors too, who prescribed this shit during a medical illness when I didn't have the strength to question and fight back, I TRUSTED them and they let me down.  And yes Lizzy you are right, you are going through the stages of grief, grief for the past present and future time lost to this mess.  You shouldn't feel like you have to censor yourself because of other sensibilities on this forum.  This should be a safe place to vent, so go ahead and vent.  That is a therapeutic way to work through your anger.  And YES I did feel as though you were attacked by one member on this thread.

 

I have to jump in on the America/Australia deportation discussion.  America was used as a destination almost 100% when deporting criminals from Great Britain up until the American Revolution put a stop to that.  Thereafter, Australia became the destination for that reason alone.  Kids as young as 12 could be deported and often it was for petty offenses such as stealing food or causing a fire, even accidental.  But mostly it was to just get rid of "undesirables" so that the nabobs in England didn't have to pay to feed and house them.  The term "undesirable" was a loose one and really meant anyone the authorities didn't want to deal with, some criminal, some not.  Can you tell that I wrote a long paper on "Great Expectations" and deportation in college???  LOL.

 

Anyway {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lizzy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  If you're gonna be mad, I'm glad its at all the moron doctors and not at me, you are one tough lady.  You will get through this and get your life back!  We can do this!

 

> > >  soon to be :) :) :) :) :)

 

MiniMinnie

[[GH...]]

Hey MM, can you post that paper? I think there is a sction for off topic. Or on a blog.

 

Lizzy is cool. she will be one of us. she is one of us already.

 

I am in fl too.

[[Mi...]]

Hey GhostShip,

 

Yep I "know" Lizzy from other threads,she has been supportive and she always gives me a laugh and a fresh perspective.  As to the paper, it is mostly a literary one full of all the dissection and analytic bull that goes on in academia.  The deportation issue and the "hulks", decommissioned war ships that were anchored in harbors and used as prisons from which Magwitch escapes, just an interesting historical aside.  Yep I am sweltering (already!) in Florida too. Supposed to be 86 today.

 

Hope you are having a good day.  I am having a really cool window today after an intense wave last evening.

 

MiniMinnie

[Guest [...]]

Hey Minnie my savour lol thankyou for your undivided support must say I felt that this was a safe place to come and have a say.  However I will not say more in fear of provoking any more drama.  You know what im like by now i dont have to explain myself to the wider community.  The people i know on here love me for the way I am just as I love them.  anyway how many times can you say sorry hey for something i was feeling.  Whatever lets move on and I know you feel the same way were so sick like me and blindsided into trusting someone because thats what we do. 

 

I have just seen a great movie about the children who were taken away from their families and sent to australia shall get the name for you was amazing.  Hey the children were often under five years of age as well some whose mothers had put the children in care while they got well.  They were sent out to orphanages and treated unbelievably sooooo sad.  What was worse though was whats called the STOLEN GENERATION this is where aboriginal babies and children were taken from their parents and put with white families so they could grow up properly.  Remember is was still in the 60's that Australia had a white australia policy and would accept no immigrations from anyone overseas unless they were white.  DISGUSTING really now talk about anger how must of they have felt the mothers screaming for their children.  They had a National SORRY day but hardly good enough.

 

The doctor who suggested I go cold turkey apologised to me and i accepted it and walked away like a good little girl.  What can you do.  Decided after yesterdays drama where i did feel set upon by a member that perhaps im going to tone down my involvement in the forum.  I need to feel better and safe not harrassed for my thoughts.

 

Will definately still be there for my friends but am not needing the additional drama in my life at the moment.

 

Hey Minnie what wave happened last night are you ok.

 

 

thanks for your hugs Minnie feel instantly better.  Hey maybe I should start a history thread certainly gets ones mind of things for a while.  Im hoping to go back to University in July mid year intake hear obviously our winter.  I have already got a Diploma in Community Services (yes have spent 12 years helping others with their problems intensive family counselling) and I want to get my degree in social sciences so i can work in Child Protection.  Lets hope all my anger disappears by then lolol .  What i was going to say though will take some history subjects as well love it.

 

anyway hope you are both chomping at the bit so to speak and feeling a little ok today. 

 

 

Lizzyxx