Klonopin for 6 years-doubting ability to taper, much less quit!

[[Me...]]

Hi all,

 

I've been reading a whole lot over the past several months about benzos and have been horrified to learn all that I have.  All this time, my doctor assured me that my dose was "so small" I didn't need to worry about addiction or dependence, that I could come right off any time,  or that I could just take it indefinitely.  Usually I read up on any med I take, but when I started benzos back in 2006, I was such a mess I was just glad to find something that soothed me down to 'normal' and was only grateful.  And it's true that I am very worried that debilitating anxiety will be waiting for me, just where I left it, if I quit the clonazepam.  Whatever, I guess that would still be better than tolerance, withdrawals, etc...

 

I know I need to get off.  I've been experiencing all the nasty effects of long term benzo use.  However, I think I've just discovered that I'm NOWHERE NEAR as tough as I thought I was!  Any little withdrawal symptom and I'm seriously contemplating everything up to my very existence.  I already suffer with often unbearable depression and anxiety/agitation so when you throw in even a small amount of withdrawal... it inspires suicidal thoughts, ideas, obsessions.  If the clonazepam wasn't making me ill, I don't think I'd consider getting off. 

 

The idea that withdrawals go on for so long = deep, bleak desperation.  I hear/read very little about a light and the end of this tunnel.

 

I'm not exactly sure where I'm at now in terms of dose.  I'd been taking just .25 mg before bed and occasionally about half of that during the day once in a while, as needed.  However, in September I fell really ill with severe panic and depression and was using it more often to try to function.  It didn't work.  I lost my job, my semester, my ability to leave the house most days. 

 

I think I'm at .5 per day to be comfortable, half in morning, half at night.  I plan to use water titration method.  I'm very sensitive chemically, to food and drugs (or the lack thereof!) and so I think the slower I go, the better my odds of staying the course. 

 

I could use a buddy, honestly.  Literally, someone with whom I can write back and forth with so we can support one another.  The people around me have no idea what this is like.  To have a friend to relate with would be a godsend.  I'm thinking that maybe a local NA group would help.  I don't know.  I am an accidental addict.  I never abused anything; in fact I always took much less than was prescribed! 

 

Thank you guys, for reading, replying, existing.

 

Warm regards & things,

Melodie

[[...]]

Hi Melodie,

 

Welcome aboard.  You will find lots of support here from many kind, and very understanding people.  Make yourself at home, and feel free to ask questions.

 

the best to you

 

pj

[[Re...]]

Hi Melodie!

 

I want you to know that you are not alone. There is alot of information regarding titrations and substitute tapers.  I can relate to you....I was placed on klonopin after being of ativan for escalating anxiety and having breakthrough anxiety between doses. I began having depressive symptoms as one can often lead to another. I actually left a full time job and went back to work part time. It was demoralizing for me and difficult on my family. I was put onto a slow taper of Lamictal( as an off label use for depression) and 4 months in I was taking klonopin daily and physically dependent on the med ( .375 mg twice a day).

Reading posts can be overwhelming and on days that I need encouragement, I stick with the success stories. I have been on the med for about 2 years now and decided late July that I was going taper.

My advise is to be exceptionally patient with yourself and I hope you have a medical professional that will support you during your taper. Taking a medication like this does not mean you are an addict. I have never abused any meds and has been a minimalist when it has come taking medications unless absolutely necessary. I really needed it initially to stabilize, only wish that I was on it for a shorter duration so a taper would not be in my future... so it goes and here I am., along with you for the ride.

Feel free to ask any questions that you may have. It is nice to have this site and there are many people for support.

Be gentle with yourself and you'll be on your way to recovery. If you do become symptomatic you can utilize this as an outlet to put your expereince on paper. Everyone does it but don't let that scare you off you attempting. Everyone responds differently and that is why there are so many varieties of  topics posted.

 

The very best to you. Take good care and welcome!

 

Recover

[[Me...]]

PJ and Recover,

 

Thank you!  If we could get down to a few specifics...  HOW do you manage symptoms? 

 

I was reading that nutritional support can be very helpful--is anyone taking vitamins or herbs or anything? 

 

Other prescriptions (non-dependence making ones!) like Topamax etc?

 

Is there really any way to ease the symptoms or do you have to simply resign to hiding in a dark bedroom with earplugs?

 

I found a very interesting article today and would like to share it with you:

http://www.benzosupport.org/Hormones%20and%20benzo%20diazepines.htm

 

For other women reading this, I sure have noticed a big difference in my cycles (miserable, riddled with anxiety, pain, hot flashes, weakness, very pronounced PMS type symptoms, but beyond the pale).  I have taken progesterone (natural, non-synthetic, non-prescription, in either a topical cream or a gel you rub on your gums) and had found it SO calming and eased all those PMS troubles and anxiety.  I will be asking my naturopath about taking it again next time I see him.  He had mentioned that taking Passion flower could help. 

 

Thanks again for replying, and please do keep in touch, I would like to follow you as you progress --  that's a good word, huh?

 

Warm fuzzies to you,

Melodie

 

[[RM...]]

Melodie

 

I'm in the same boat as you on K-pins for 6 years, and leaning off as well, in the begg. thoughts try to get to you i was there im also on 0.5mg and i been leaning off for a while now today ill start 1/4 in the moring 1/4 at night. Herbs help me alot as well as vitamins

 

Other things that help me:

Fresh air, showers, mediation ,listin to clamin' music, watchin pranks, workin out, yoga

 

Just keep your mind busy and try to think positive thoughts

 

I'm here if you would like advice or help, feel free to message me

[[Ho...]]

I did the dark bedroom thing a lot but what helped me more than anything was biofeedback, after doing breathing  excersises twice a day  for a couple months I reset my Physiology and felt so much better while I slowly tapered and once benzo free it is my main weapon against anxiety, I do this daily as a preventative tool, it works.

 

[[Me...]]

RMack & Hope4u2,

 

Thank you!  I'm not sure if we can flesh out new topics in this thread... but I'm wondering about exercise and biofeedback:

 

RMack--exercising doesn't bring about anxiety, heart palps, etc?  When I'm doing simple things like housework and my heart rate increases, it's not pleasant.  I do miss exercising, but it seems like I've got to prevent my rate from going up so that I can stay calm.  Just me on this one??

 

Hope4u2--biofeedback.  Please, please tell me more or maybe post a link for me? 

 

I have the opportunity (which I'm trying to take, it can be SO hard to leave the house) to try neurofeedback, recommended by my doc.  I haven't done much reading, aside from the absolute specifics on how to taper so far.  Ways to cope come next...  but sometimes lots of reading overwhelms me and often I have to read and reread to grasp concepts.  I feel like I've gone from sharp as a tack to a complete dullard.