help please

[[Bo...]]

My depression is so severe right now. I think the stress from benzo withdrawal has drained out all my serotonin/dopamine/gaba. I feel like i am dead and have no motivation and interest in life. I lay on the couch feeling drained and scared. (I had depression my whole life but not to this degree/severity right now) (I am taking paxil 20mg right now but I have no serotonin for it to have any benefit) I dont want to feel like this the rest of my long life ahead of me.  I could use some support cause its getting so bad. please :'( I would appreciate support. I want to get better.

[[Fl...]]

Calm down Hannah, you will be OK. 

 

There is no reason to think you have lost feel good neurotransmitters. As far as I know, the only thing benzos affects is the GABA  receptors throughout the body.

 

I went back and read all of your posts.  It looks like you are in a typical pattern of being calm and hopeful, cold turkeying, tapering, and terrified. 

 

As near as I can tell without a signature line, you have stopped taking 5 mg Klonopin and may or may not still be on Ambien and there may be Lexapro in the mix, just recently.

 

Can you tell us exactly what you're taking right now? And how long has it been since you were last on Klonopin or Ambien.  I am guessing you are feeling withdrawal anxiety and it is not fun.

 

Keep posting, OK?

Flip

[[Bi...]]

Booboo9,

 

Hi there. I'm sorry to hear about your depression. I have it, too. I had it yesterday, and it was bad. You're not alone. It passed. Please hang in there. 

 

Also, if you'd like to add a signature: Signature

 

Billy.

[[St...]]

  I don't think there is anything worse than benzo depression, to me it felt like a grieving of the soul. I know that it seems impossible to think that you will get relief from this but you will. Try to soldier through these dark times, even if for a minute at a time because they don't last. You are still healing and your body is trying to right itself from the absence of the drug. This horrible dark depression is only temporary.

 

I'm sorry this journey is so hard, it all seems so unfair, but you'll get through this, you're stronger than you know and you'll be even stronger once this is all over. 

[[Bo...]]

Hi Fliprain,

I have been on Klonopin and Zolpidem for the past month. Paxil 20mg for the past 3 weeks. Now My withdrawl symptoms are not as bad except the severe depression and bad anxiety. Right now on 2.5mg ambien, and .25mg Klonopin. And tapering both slowly.

[[Fl...]]

Hannah, Booboo, which do you prefer? 

 

I've always heard it is best to taper the zolp first, then taper the benzo.  Both act on the GABA receptors, but in slightly different ways.  Do you think you could hold on your K taper and just work on the Z?  That might make a big difference.

 

In bully's post, there is. Signature link that tells you just how to create a signature.  It would be most helpful to have that information at the bottom of every post you make.  Let us know if you need help doing it.

 

Aw, Starbird does speak the truth! This is a soul level grieving. I had never heard it put that way, Starbird, but it is so true. So sadly true. 

 

Are you under a doctors care? Apparently, since the Lexapro is new.  Can you talk to him/her about the wisdom of tapering the Z first, then the K?  You might want to spread your K dose out to at least twice a day to help mitigate the affects of interdose withdrawal.  That could help with the anxiety quite a bit. 

 

Also, many of us switch over to Valium because of it's longer half life. 

 

Keep talking to us.  We are all here to support one another.

Flip

[[Bo...]]

Fliprain,

That sounds like a better idea to taper the zolpidem first then taper the klonopin 3 times a day. I'm almost done so things will clear up pretty soon. (or at least benzo wd pretty soon lol.) Starbird, A soul level grieving is the perfect way of putting it! Thanks for the support.

[[Ch...]]

Booboo,

I have major depressive disorder and treatment resistant depression that was pre-existing before going through benzo w/d. I really empathize with the feelings you are describing right now. I am a bit ill at the moment, but will PM you soon to check in. You can PM me anytime if you want to talk about what is going on. I know this is lonely; it is lonely for me too.

 

Sending you many hugs and much support,

CB

[[sh...]]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad.

 

Depression was something I dealt with throughout my entire taper. It made me feel like the energy was completely drained from my body; I couldn't think, I wanted to sleep all the time, and I felt like hope was never going to return, but it does. I can count on two hands, the times I've felt depression since jumping. Actually, it seems to have grown less in intensity.

 

Hope you start feeling better.

[[Bo...]]

CherryBlossom,

 

I am so sorry you have treatment resistant depression. I take Paxil but dont think it works that well just as all the ones in the past didn't work well (Prozac, Effexor, Lexapro) I dont think benzos are good for depressed people cause the wd makes it so much worse. Hope you are feeling better soon.