5-6 month group.

[[so...]]

I know there are others out there in the 5/6 month range like me so I thought I would start our thread to see how each of us are doing at this point.

 

Im right At 5mths and 1 week off xanax and I'd like to say I'm getting better but that would be a lie as i seem to be going backwards. Physical pain is now increasing...feet sting/burn/ache, feel like I have a constant cold or flu with sinus problems, headache, slight fever and hot/red face & neck. Joint pain is also on the rise.

 

Anxiety and D/R are out of cOntrol...basically I'm miserable 24/7 with no end in sight. I have had a few windows but those were few and only lasted a few hours at most. 

 

How about you?  What are your biggest problems?

[[no...]]

Over five months- will be six next weekend. Had a 10 day stretch mid-month of okayness, then wham!  Even a revival of the dizziness that was gone a while back. I am obsessing about anxiety 24/7...even when I am not that anxious, I am having what they call  intrusive thinking about being anxious. Lovely.

This has been such a long haul that I can no longer remember if what I feel now is less intense than a few months back. Each time the fear stuff hits, it feels like the worst ever, but probably its not. Probably I am improving little by little. I know that the physical stuff is alot better now. I do get tired easily, sleep still sucks, but its the fear and obsessive thinking that really wear me down.

Thats my status- Susan

[[Ho...]]

Hi guys.  I hit 6 months off yesterday and am also still struggling badly.  My physical symptoms are mild and tolerable.  However, the psychological symptoms (anxiety, DP/DR, Cog Fog, crying spells, obsessive looping thoughts, depression, etc.) still have me housebound and completely debilitated.  I haven't had any windows to date.  I do have days that are slightly more tolerable, but even these days are VERY difficult.  It is so hard to stay positive after suffering so severely for so long.  However, I keep getting out of bed every morning and slowly but surely the days are passing.  I truly hope the next few months bring some relief for all of us! 

[[so...]]

This has been a day from hell. Woke up and felt so strange...not of this world. Mental clarity would fade in and out with very brief/short windows that lasted maybe 30 mins. I'm afraid to eat because I'm not sure what foods are causing me trouble but it seems like all food is poison to me. Can you believe that?  I'm actually afraid to eat.

 

About 1 hour ago I got tired so I went to vex only to have the worst muscle/joint pain but my feet and knees Out of the blue.  Anger had taken over right now and im mad at the world, mad at the docs who gave me the benzos, mad at anthing and anyone that gets in my way. I'm laying in bed and my face/neck is on fire, knees are killing me, both feet sting like I'm standing On a million tiny needles.  This is madness!  How is a person supposed to get through this?

 

The only way I make it through a work day is I have it memorized. My boss would come unglued if she knew what I was going through. I certainly take no comfort that others are suffering but I do feel a little better knowing I'm not alone.  The only way I can make it through the day is.by putting on a tough guy act and not letting this thing get to dept in my head.

[[...]]

^sooner, just keep riding it out dude, 5 months was the peak of my withdrawal, things started leveling off after that. You're doing good. How's your sleep?

[[Ho...]]

Soonerdean-

Are you feeling any better today?  I hope so!  Hang in there!

[[so...]]

Feeling very strange today...diffucult to describe. Light headed, eye floaters so bad it's difficult to see at times, face/neck are beet red and feel like I'm on fire. The body aches seem to have come down a little but the most bothersome issue right now is my head feels like its the size of a watermelon.

 

Sleep is not bad but I get dizzy when I close my eyes. Real bad chest pain today and mental confusion. No wonder my doctor thinks I'm crazy. I've read many posts saying the 6 Mth mark was a big turning point. I'm sure hoping that's my number as well

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement. 

[[so...]]

5:30pm and I could not feel worse. This is just nuts!  Is it not insane the damage Benzos extract on the human body and with all this suffering doctors are clueless and keep telling us that our symptoms ate not benzo related.

 

I've read many posts saying the 4/6 month timeframe was the worst so it would appear I'm right in the middle. I'd love to hear from others in the 5-6 month club. It sure helps me to be able to communicate with follow sufferers.  I'm gonna keep giving it the finger!

[[da...]]

I'm six months off.  Although many of the symptoms like agoraphobia are lessening I still have on a daily basis:

 

tinnitus

heart skipping a beat but it comes and goes now

burning skin/mouth

tooth sensitivity

muscle aches

morning horror show including adrenaline rushes

toxic naps

sore eyes and headaches

dry mouth

 

I'm not housebound anymore and don't spend every hour of the day sitting in a chair staring into space so I guess that's an improvement!

 

Donna

 

[[wa...]]

I just reached five months and it sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I had about two hours yesterday where things calmed down a bit, but it is overall brutal.

 

Symtoms from worst to least

 

Slow heart rate

chest pain

head pain, which is difficult to describe (As I relax my head shivers on the inside.

Nerve Pain

Extreme Weakness

Difficulty walking

Sleep sucks - about 4-6 with benadryl

Anxiety

 

 

Fortunately I have a very supportive and loving wife, I would have quit a long time ago without her.

[[no...]]

Do any of you just feel so strange...like you are just not right. I was out and about today and all, but I just always feel sooo not right, and I can't really explain it, just weird...is this the DR people talk about?

When you are out, donna, do you have fear at all?

I managed to do everything today, but now home I am feeling just plain odd, anxious but like a chemical type of anxiety.

Man, I feel like I am NEVER going to get past this.

[[Ho...]]

Northofhere-

 

I responded to you on another post and said the following...

 

"I am also 6 months off.  I have no history of ANY anxiety or other psychological symptoms prior to this withdrawal.  I still can't leave the house without my husband and am experiencing the most unbelievable fear/anxiety on almost a daily basis.  I never even knew what a panic attack was prior to this experience.  Now they are all too familiar.  I haven't had any windows to date.  I have NO DOUBT that what I am experiencing is withdrawal induced.  I'm sure it is the same for you!  Hang in there!"

 

I worry every day that this will never end and I am forever damaged.  However, I have to believe those that have gone before us and say it is just a matter of time.  We all apparently heal.  I am still waiting to see the light at the end of this very long, dark tunnel.  I give you credit because you are able to get out at all.  As soon as I leave the house (even attended), my physical anxiety/fear goes through the roof and sends me into a tailspin.  Therefore, I rarely brave the outside world these days.  We can do this!!

 

Hope

[[no...]]

Hope- I see you have the looping thoughts and DR. Thats a real problem for me. I have looping thoughts about the anxiety itself, which causes more. Its like I am always checking myself/analyzing, and my mind is always having fear thoughts. 24/7.

[[so...]]

I know this does not make anyone feel better when they are suffering beyond description but the best we can do is keep trying and lean on each other when times are bad.

 

Last night around 10pm I suddenly realized that I felt great! No anxiety, no depression, no aches or pains, I actually found myself is singing to a song that was on tv. This came on so suddenly I had no idea until I finally realized "hey...I'm happy.".  As quickly as it came on it disappeared in an instant but it lasted a few hours.

 

For the past 2 weeks, almost like clockwork, my face will turn red and begins to burn right Round 1pm each day. It's the craziest thing and this process will last 5-6 hours. I can say that today had been a little better, aches and pains not as intense, anxiety a little better but the chest pain/burning is still raging along with the heart palps. 

 

Here's hoping we all get completely healed soon

[[pa...]]

Many of my worst symptoms are leaving. I'll be 5 months off in another few days.  I had a bad bout of intrusive thoughts in the past 2 weeks, but haven't had that this week.  I'm regaining confidence and not as agoraphobic. I still have a tough time for the first few hours of the morning, almost like my brain has to reboot. But I find that I cry and it relieves stress on the CNS - and then I window usually at about 9-10 am and for the remainder of the day.

 

I'm finding that when I feel low energy, WATER is what helps.  I can drink coffee now without much issue, but I only have a little. But a volume of plain water relieves a lot of exhaustion.

 

I restarted walking and now jogging a week ago - and have been running 2-3 miles about 5 days a week in order to promote deeper sleep.  I"m also eating really healthy purposely - including lots of protein and vegetables.  Trying to rebuild the nervous system requires excellent food and rest.

 

I am trying to do the best I can to do anything I can actually do towards this.  Food and exercise are the best I can do to promote sleep and healing.

 

I"m doing fairly well - and a LOT better than I was about 6-8 weeks ago.  I'm also down to the last crumbs of Remeron - and should be one with it in the next week.

 

Overall, right now I woudl say I can tell I have improved. It's 2 steps forward and 1 step back, but overall there has been a lot of improvement.

 

Many of my cogitive skills are returning - not quite 100% normal yet, but now my baseline is far improved over my baseline 2 months ago, including memory, concentration, and executive functioning skills like planning and iniation.

 

:)Parker (<--- looking on the bright side as much as I can  )

[[Ho...]]

Susan-

Yes, I have the looping thoughts and this definitely increases my anxiety.  I stress about how awful I feel and worry about never healing.  I worry about everything I am missing out on and how I will handle things in the near future.  I am 6.5 months pregnant with my first child so I spend A LOT of time stressing the delivery (the impact it will have on the withdrawal symptoms) and how I will take care of a newborn in this state.  I also stress what my loved ones are thinking about my current state because I have been so absent lately.  This obsessing is exhausting and serves no purpose, but I find it impossible to stop myself.  The only thing that helps is distraction.  When I am engrossed in a TV show, movie, book, or conversation with my husband I can usually calm my mind for a little while.  However, as soon as these things are over, it's right back to obsessing.  I hope we both find some relief from this soon.  I do believe the worst is probably behind us, or close to being behind us.  Hopefully things will start to feel a bit more downhill for us soon.

 

Hope

[[sh...]]

I'm about 5 months and a week off.

 

I've seen major improvements in the past months, but I'm still stuck with depression, anxiety, obsessive/intrusive thoughts, lack of interest, tight chest, and tingling sensation. What's dragging me down is the obsessive/intrusive thoughts, because they usually lead me into a wave where I am thinking nonstop about how I'll never get better, or that this is me and not withdrawal, or wishing I could go back to how I was before, but once the wave stops, I feel almost normal.

 

For anyone still suffering, it does get better. Windows do appear and, while short, you do get a sense of how you'll feel once you're completely healed.