What is happening?

[[...]]

I am just at the end of my rope. I keep reading these posts to find some common ground and reassure myself that I will get better. But what I feel is different than what I see described, all physical  problems. I can hardly walk sometimes now the world seems to bob up and down and it is like my body is shutting down. Every day this gets worse. When I wake up it is like I am freaking out before I even get up. My only goal is survival at this point. I an crying everyday because I am scared that I am dying as I have to force myself to do anything the lightheadedness and wobbly feeling is so intense now. I don't think this is benzo withdrawal, I am dying of something no one can figure out, I am so sad and scared all I want is to go tosleep and never wake up. I don't think I will post anymore as it seems senseless because I am done, it is just a matter of going more and more downhill, grasping at straws, bringing everyone down and hating healthy people and missing all the good stuff I used to do. Bye

[[Ga...]]

Its still early flea but yes, that weird light headed feeling gets to me too.

Hang in there Buddy

[[Me...]]

Woh, hang in there buddy.

 

I just posted a subject identical to yours. I also need reassurance that someday this will end, I've been suffering 2 years now and not even at the end of my taper. In fact, I'm not even half way there. I also have similar symptoms as you, I can barely walk at times. And it's frustrating when people expect so much out of you.

 

Everything seems a chore, I am almost on the verge of giving up hope too, but I'm sure some good people will come on here and give reassurance that it will be over. I know it will be. It just doesn't feel that way.

 

Please, anyone reading this who has recovered, reply to this post asap and give this guy as much hope and reassurance as possible. I am BADLY in the need of it too, because I feel the same way.

 

We need positive stories people. I hope to find next time I log in to see alot of kind replies of kind assurance from those that have recovered from this nightmare.

 

Someone, please help us. I also feel like giving up, and wishing to go to sleep and never wake up.

 

No cliques either. I'm suffering badly too and need the reassurance.

 

[[Ti...]]

I am also feeling sick and hopeless right now, like I will never be off these meds in one piece--and then there is the entire process of healing after the taper.  I just updosed due to a failed taper and am going in the wrong direction.  Yes, would love encouragement.  This is too much suffering

[[Pa...]]

I feel the same as you guys. Inhadnthe roughest night last night and now thus Korbut I feel totally sick. Normally my mornings are little easier. I just wanna rest but can't because I still have to pack

 

I m ownits hard flea but please don't give up hope. Believe me I know how you feel but we can't give up, gotta try and keep moving forward the best we can.

[[ka...]]

hi flea please please dont give up :'( i was the same way for the first 3 months off the xanax all i want to do was die but i made it.it dose get better im 7 month off an doing much better i felt so light headed i had to hold on to the walls to walk!!! an when i would wake up in the morning the nightmare would start all over i would say ( THIS IS IT IM NEVER GOING TO GET WELL IM DIEING) but i made it i got better an better it took 7 months so please dont give up ......love in JESUS....kate7

[[Ti...]]

Kate--thanks for the encouragemnt for Flea--it's good to hear it.  Did you taper the Xanaxor C/t?  How was your taper??

[[ka...]]

hi tinaCA i was on 0.5 twice aday for 1 year i taper one month i felt like i had the flu shakes tremors i went from 147 pounds to 125 ina month dizzy lightheaded throwing up all the time scared out of my mine. pounding heart these happen every time i would cut a 1/3 od my pills but all hell broke loose when i got off completey first 3 month was horrible 4th an 5th was a little better and 6th an 7th about 48 % healed hope by 12 months i can say ive made it!!!!! love in JESUS.....kate7

[[Ho...]]

Hi Flea.  I too am having a terrible time and want to give up daily.  However, this is NOT an option!  We CAN do this!  We are doing it!  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Try to distract yourself in any way you can from your symptoms and to help pass the time.  Pretty soon this will all be a distant memory.  Hang in there buddy! 

[[Ga...]]

flea- Im pulling for ya buddy, we are all in this together, you are not alone with this. 

Stay on here and let us know how you are ok?

 

[[La...]]

JUST KEEP GOING FLEA, one minute at a time, one hr, one day but dont let the beast win this fight, you can win it, make the choice to stay and fight. My thoughts are with you and I want to keep readng your posts. Ladygrace

[[Tu...]]

Hang in there flea! I jumped around the same time as you, this will get better flea.

Be Strong dont let this shit beat you!

[[to...]]

I know how you feel.  This is a nightmare.  My first attempt failed as I think I tappered too fast.  Trying again but going slower.

 

Many times I am convinced I am going to die.  Many of my symptoms are the same ones people with heart disease get.  Yes I have seen my dr many times and been in and out of ER. 

 

Also I am unemployed and need a job but I know I am in no condition to work. 

[[no...]]

iT GETS BETTER! I read your post, and have been there. But, now at 6 months off i can tell you without a doubt that it gets better. I felt the same things you are describing. Ran into walls, down stairs, head spinning like a top. its ALL withdrawal. Its not some dreaded disease. You have to, and can, ride this out, just like so many that have done so before you. Read benzo-Wise- you will see you are not alone or unique. That run over by a truck feeling is actually quite common. So id feeling like giving up. But there is really no where else to go but through it.

I never  thought I woud make it- but I am here to tell you to distract yourself, hold a pillow, pet a dog, call someone, watch some not-scray TV, stay online..whatever it takes. You are healing right now.

Susan

[[...]]

Thank you all so much!!! I love all of you!!! I was really considering ending the suffering today and even had a bottle of K in my trembling hand. But I came back and read these plus the posts on Flea needs our prayers and a sort of mini-miracle happened as I describe on that thread. Please read it as it pertains to everyone who posted to me. I think I have my faith in humanity again after reading all these wonderful words of encouragement!! You have come to my rescue in my darkest hour(so far) and I will not forget it. I also say if you make a promise to yourself you have to keep it no matter what and the one I made is I am not taking this stuff ever again. A new promise is to help whomever I can in this tribe of ours anyway I can, even if I get healed I am going to help people the rest of my life. When you go to bed tonite remember this: if you feel you are meaningless, you are not, you saved me and I will not forget it. Eternally grateful! Flea(Move over, I am back in the fight)

[[re...]]

Awesome

 

You're pretty important around here, flea.

Good to have you back.

 

 

 

[[pa...]]

Oh Flea, I have tears in my eyes, yes the power of prayer from ones who understand does work miracles!  You have your miracle from all of us! My message to all of you, HEALING DOES HAPPEN!  I was put on valium a long time ago, I went thru hell on it, I didn,t know it was the drug, all I knew I was fine before what happened to my system and how everything got worse and crazy after taking Valium.  I was only on it six months, I c/t, and more hell occured.  It took seven months before I began seeing little changes.  I fought so hard to get my life back.  I saw what it was doing to my husband, my parents, my sisters.  I knew I could never give up.  Why, I had to not only fight for me, but I had to fight for them.  There was no Internet, no bbs group, nothing.  The docs just shook their head, it's all emotional stress.  My hubby was put on lorzepam, his cns got affected from what the hspt administered him, he had a severe reaction.  After a few months I found benzo.org, read Ashton Manuel.  I cried, I then knew what happened to me, now my hubby.  Guess what??  My system healed, I became "totally normal" again.  Healing does happen to all, it just takes (the magic word)TIME.  For ones tapering yeah it's awful.  But you have your goal, and must to continue on to get off.  To the ones off, the wds are tuff, but you can and are getting thru it, second by second, minute by minute, day by day, BUT you are healing and you will keep going forward until you do.  It's a journey, but one at the end filled with wonder, rainbows and smiles.  Stay strong, one foot in front of the other to the healing door.  Truly, it's up ahead, you just need to keep crawling and walking to it.  My love to all of you.  Pattylu

[[sw...]]

I am so sorry you having so rough a time, but I assure that as awful as it be it is purely temporary and it will get better!

 

Best wishes.

 

[[pa...]]

Oh Flea, I have tears in my eyes, yes the power of prayer from ones who understand does work miracles!  You have your miracle from all of us! My message to all of you, HEALING DOES HAPPEN!  I was put on valium a long time ago, I went thru hell on it, I didn,t know it was the drug, all I knew I was fine before what happened to my system and how everything got worse and crazy after taking Valium.  I was only on it six months, I c/t, and more hell occured.  It took seven months before I began seeing little changes.  I fought so hard to get my life back.  I saw what it was doing to my husband, my parents, my sisters.  I knew I could never give up.  Why, I had to not only fight for me, but I had to fight for them.  There was no Internet, no bbs group, nothing.  The docs just shook their head, it's all emotional stress.  My hubby was put on lorzepam, his cns got affected from what the hspt administered him, he had a severe reaction.  After a few months I found benzo.org, read Ashton Manuel.  I cried, I then knew what happened to me, now my hubby. I had healed, I became "totally normal" again.  Healing does happen to all, it just takes (the magic word)TIME.  For ones tapering yeah it's awful.  But you have your goal, and must to continue on to get off.  To the ones off, the wds are tuff, but you can and are getting thru it, second by second, minute by minute, day by day, BUT you are healing and you will keep going forward until you do.  It's a journey, but one at the end filled with wonder, rainbows and smiles.  Stay strong, one foot in front of the other to the healing door.  Truly, it's up ahead, you just need to keep crawling and walking to it.  My love to all of you.  Pattylu

[[Be...]]

To your subsequent post, all I can say is "Yay! - Way to go!"

[[Me...]]

Cool, way to go flea!

 

I'm still feeling very rough, awful, but at least people here seem to care about you, I'm pretty much ignored round here!

[[ca...]]

jumped Jan 22nd, 2012

 

You just stopped taking benzos on Jan 22, 2012? That's still REALLY early in your w/d process. Hang in there. It's WAY too soon to give up. Benzo w/d can take months to get over.

 

[[Ch...]]

Flea!! Thank you for poating this!! O hope you are still doing well... I have been going through kind of the same feelings and it is great to see all of the support you have been given. It encourages me too!! TKe care!

[[Kl...]]

Hey flea,

 

Checking in with you to see how you are doing.  I absolutely LOVE your incredible comeback! 

 

It's amazing what a little love and support can do to help us through the rough patches!

 

You are clearly loved very much by everyone on BB!  Many hugs, KL

[[ba...]]

you will defeat the  beast, you are  strong  bando