need reassurance that I will heal

[[pe...]]

Hi.  Right now my most upsetting symptom is the numbness, tightness and tingling through my face and scalp.  Has anyone else had this problem and had it resolved?  When in your recovery did it go away?  Really need some encouragement.

[[ja...]]

Hi Pegasus...

 

O my let me see if I can help. This was the most disturbing sxs I had. It started on day 7 from my c/t and I stayed around for awhile. My entire body was numb. But my face felt like novacain was running thru my veins. It was so creepy. I swear I used to go bed and wake up and touch my face .Like omg please be gone.My lips felt like tingling and numbness thru out the day. My cheeks to. My nose. Everywhere. Then it changed. It started  feeling like the nerves were alive and moveing. Then numbness left but my face now felt like Bengay was smeared on my face. Hated this so much. I thought my nerves were shot. I was gonna be stuck like this forever. Thats not true . Its completly gone now and my face feels so normal again.Thanks God. Try and stay calm about this sxs.Its gonnna leave u. Just takes a bit of time for these nerve endings to restore .But they will . Sorry you have this. I hated so so much.

 

~Jenny

[[pe...]]

Thank you SO MUCH Jaso19    ((((((Hug))))))    How long did this last and when did you realize that it was gone.  Mine has been going on for a some months now and it is really adding to my anxiety level which is just making everything worse.  I feel like it will never go away and get very scared.  I need so much reassurance and I have a very hard time trying to focus through it.

[[Bi...]]

Pegasus,

 

I like the name, BTW.

 

I'm not healed at all yet. Some things have got better. I have had windows and let me tell you.. it's like none of this existed.

 

Hang in there. We do heal.

 

Billy.

[[ja...]]

Aww Pegasus..

 

I know exactly how that feels. I felt so scared to. I had it for months .Like atleast 7.But during those months it wasnt always as intence. This was a sxs that arose my anxiety to. Im so sorry you have this. But I promise its gonna leave you. Its super creepy and feels so unreal. I used be like o Please go away. I couldnt handle the way that felt. I needed someone to just tell me this will go away to. It will Pegasus..And when it does you will feel so normal on ur face again. Hugs back to you..

 

I really promise this sxs will go away for you.

P.s.. Hi Billy!!!

~Jenny

[[pe...]]

Jaso19  Thank you , Thank you    ((((((HUG)))))) 

I have also sat and begged for this to go away and cried because I just couldn't take it anymore.  There are times when it seems to be a bit better but always comes back and I am always afraid that it will be permanent.  I am so glad to hear that you had this too and that it did go away.  I am so glad to see that you are healed.  I have read your success story so many times that I almost have it memorized.  It has been a great comfort for me.  I am struggling along and will fight this off.

 

Thank you so much.

[[pe...]]

Thank you BillyF

 

I love horses and someday want the feeling that this pegasus has.

 

I am sorry to hear that you are having this problem as well but glad that you are getting windows and having some relief from it.  Congrats on being benzo free. 

 

Right now I wish that I had more windows.  I only get a partial one and only lasting for a day or so and then back to the misery.  I am in a wave and it has lasted for over a week and I really need a window to catch my breath so that I can go on through this journey.

 

Thanks for your thoughtfullness

[[...]]

That's one of my worst symptoms too Pegasus. Other than the complete brain dysfunction, my whole brain, face... teeth and ears sometimes too feel like there is this constant pressure. Sometimes it's worse than others but it's a constant reminder of how horrible everything is and it won't allow me to do much of anything besides worrying how long I'll have to suffer this way. I know it will get better. I just wish we knew how long.

[[Sc...]]

I am now 7 months of, and although this s/x is not a constant for me, I've definitely had it off/on.  I am getting less of it nowadays though.  Probably at 6 months I noticed a decrease.  Hang in there!  It seems we all get hit w/ one or two s/x that linger and create fear.  For me, it's stomach issues.  For some it's the mental stuff like dp/dr.  Just hold tight and know like all the other s/x this too will improve and eventually will go altogether.

 

All the best, hugs,

Schatje

 

P.S.  EVERY NIGHT when I put my daughter to bed (she's 8 years old), she asks me, "Mommy, what should I dream about?".  And I have to come up with some magical dream, like going to a fairy castle or an enchanted forests with talking squirrels, etc...but EVERY dream has to end the same way..."and then, you meet a Pegasus and a Unicorn, and you curl in together and fall asleep".  lol  She adores horses and is fascinated by Pegasus and Unicorns, and always wants them in her dreams.  I love your name too!

[[pe...]]

Oh Coop    The MILLION DOLLAR question.    I so wish I knew how much longer I have to endure this, then maybe I can manage to get the strength to go on.    I hope you see some relief very soon.  They do say that we all heal but some times it is hard to see the end of the tunnel.

[[pe...]]

Thank You Thank you Schatje

 

I am trying to stay strong and I hope that you are seeing some improvements.  It is very hard and having come off of clonazepam and then six months later off of zopiclone I just don't know which one is causing this.  I really wish someone could give me a time line because the longer it goes on the more stressed I get which I know is not helping any.

 

I have always loved horses and still own one and my youngest daughter also owns one.  Unfortunately, because of the benzo withdrawal  I have not had much time or energy for her.  I hope someday to be able to enjoy her again.  I want to be free like the pegasus.  Give your daughter a hug for me and tell her horses are magical.

[[Sc...]]

Thank You Thank you Schatje

 

I am trying to stay strong and I hope that you are seeing some improvements.  It is very hard and having come off of clonazepam and then six months later off of zopiclone I just don't know which one is causing this.  I really wish someone could give me a time line because the longer it goes on the more stressed I get which I know is not helping any.

 

I have always loved horses and still own one and my youngest daughter also owns one.  Unfortunately, because of the benzo withdrawal  I have not had much time or energy for her.  I hope someday to be able to enjoy her again.  I want to be free like the pegasus.  Give your daughter a hug for me and tell her horses are magical.

 

Hands down that is the most difficult part of benzo w/d...the uncertainty of "when do we get better?".  Is it next week?  Next month?  Or do I still have a ways to go?  Some people literally wake up one morning and feel more alive than ever, whereas for others it's a gradual process.  I'm right there with you.  At 7 months free, I do see a LOT of positive changes...but the things that linger exhaust me some days. 

 

I will pass on the hug and the message to my daughter.  And I KNOW you'll be back with your horse in no time.  Even if it's just for a brush and chat. 

 

Hugs,

Schatje

[[pe...]]

Thank you Schatje    Do you get very many windows and how long do they last.  When you get a wave how long does that last.  I just don't seem to be getting much relief right now and could really use some.

[[Bi...]]

Thank you BillyF

 

I love horses and someday want the feeling that this pegasus has.

 

I am sorry to hear that you are having this problem as well but glad that you are getting windows and having some relief from it.  Congrats on being benzo free. 

 

Right now I wish that I had more windows.  I only get a partial one and only lasting for a day or so and then back to the misery.  I am in a wave and it has lasted for over a week and I really need a window to catch my breath so that I can go on through this journey.

 

Thanks for your thoughtfullness

 

You're welcome. You will catch a window. Just hang in there.

 

I love horses and someday want the feeling that this pegasus has.

 

Me too!

[[pe...]]

Thanks BillyF        Hope today is good for you.

[[Sc...]]

Thank you Schatje    Do you get very many windows and how long do they last.  When you get a wave how long does that last.  I just don't seem to be getting much relief right now and could really use some.

 

From months 3-6 post benzos, I had a REALLY difficult time - not going to lie.  Very few breaks...none really.  I was consumed every day w/ a variety of s/x.  But I still managed to go to Christmas parties, etc at my worst...so it was doable.  The anxiety, adrenaline, nausea, insomnia, mild depression, and nausea were at their worst.  I remember crying to my husband several times, asking "is this REALLY going to end?".  But the day after my 6 months free anniversary, it did change and hasn't gone back.  I still struggle some days (especially before my period), but I find that overall EVERYTHING is less intense.  I do get mini windows, but even when I'm not in a full window, things can still be VERY good.  My waves now seem to be a day to three days.  I know things can still change as there is so much "unexpected" w/ benzo w/d...but I can now see that I am on my way.  I smile more, laugh more and enjoy life more.  I'm not as scared of what's to come (I still have moments...yesterday was not a winner), but then things lighten up again and I feel optimistic.

 

All my best,

Schatje

[[Fl...]]

I am still dealing with a few residual symptoms at 14 months off that DO have a fairly significant impact on my life BUT.....things are progressively getting better and I can definitely see a full recovery on the horizon. It could take some time for everything to go away but the important thing is that most people see significant relief during the first year. You are getting close to the time where a lot of people get their first break. Hang in there, it will come.

[[pe...]]

Thank you Floridaguy    Your support is priceless.  I really do appreciate it and cling to the hope that I will see a turning point soon.  I has been a very rough time and really need a break. 

I hope you see great improvements soon and complete healing.

[[Me...]]

Don't worry, we all heal.

 

I had the same thing in cold turkey. It was horrid. It's because the benzos act like a muscle relaxant so when you stop them everything feels tight.

 

But as time progresses, your body will readjust to it and it will be like nothing ever happened. You'll look back and think 'wow, that was mad', but you'll appreciate your life, your mind and body more than ever before.

 

Hope this helps. 

[[mc...]]

Hi Pegasus,

We are off the K about the same amount of time and I am dealing with a lot of numbness all over and it adds to my anxiety as well. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering with this as well, because I know some days it just scares the living crap out of me. I just try to do a little walking, stretching, restorative yoga and some alternate nostril breathing to help me relax. I do believe that this is caused by tight muscles in reaction to the muscle relaxing component of the K. You just need to keep up the good fight as I do and we will get to the other side of this horrible experience and be stronger for it. My best to you in your healing!

Marta

[[pe...]]

Thank you MessedUp

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with this.  I really cling to the hope of healing.  Do you have a problem with anxiety and depression.  I feel that this is really causing me alot of problems.    I don't want to have to take any other medications but I am having a hard time right now.

[[Ga...]]

hi pegasus,

I had like the tight band around my head and numb face quite early on. it did go away. Hang in there, not sure what causes it.

[[pe...]]

Thank you for the reply Mcfuzzie

 

Do you also suffer from anxiety and depression.  I know that the numbness is causing alot of anxiety and now some depression.  It is becoming very difficult to function because of this.  Has anyone dealt with the anxiety and depression without going on other medications.  I had a one day window when the anxiety and depression were not so bad but now it has been awful for two weeks and it is really getting to me.  I don't know what to do.

[[pe...]]

Thank you Gardenia for your reply.  I really appreciate it.

 

I am glad that the tightness and numbness went away for you.  I hope that you are seeing improvements.

 

Did you suffer from anxiety and depression as well.  Did it go away.

 

Thanks

[[mc...]]

Hi Pegaus,

I actually am going through a rough time with anxiety right now being afraid that I will never heal and maybe this is something else I am dealing with, but was caused by the withdrawl of klonopin. I also have dealt with some of the darkest days of my life in the last month or so. In fact to the point where I have thought about trying an a/d even though I have for the most part not been successful in taking these and in fact are highly sensitive to them. You just get so desperate, but then afraid at the same time to try anything for fear it might make things worse. I wish I had an aswer for us on how to deal with this, but we are just wingin it and hoping for the best. So hang in there, everyone here keeps saying it will get better and what else can we do, but hope and pray for healing and that it will happen sooner then later.

MC