An Ode to Benzos; and, the truth.

[[lo...]]

[i realize the tone of this poem is not entirely joyful. It begins very somberly. But it ends positively, so I hope that's ok.]

I wasn't planning to write a poem. This just came out of me.

So here you go.

 

I've sunken into a world

 

far

 

 

far

 

 

from what i know

 

a world where cognitive dysfunction

is idolized

glamorized

sanctified

ignored

 

 

apathy is perfectly acceptable

 

egocentrism is the only relevent value

 

why reach out, when you can reach in?

or just suck out

 

suck it all out.

 

 

why have empathy

when you can have apathy?

why care

when you can ignore?

 

why feel what life really is

when you can just shut your central nervous system

 

i've seen people

been with people

who've been places

and been treated in ways

no one should ever be treated.

 

it's one thing

to experience a loss

of something you love

... a friend

a family member

someone precious and treasured

 

it's another thing

to have your ability to love

messed with.

to have the reaction that goes on in your brain

that let's you feel your memories

remember who people are

what people stand for

who's brave

and who's still learning how to brave

who's honest

who's funny

and above all

 

who you are.

 

when all that's gone

what do you do?

nobody can see it

except the wise

the dead in spirit

notice no change

those who didn't know you

before the downhill slope

seek to be tactful

and respect your behaviors

rather than questioning them

 

but simply questioning something

does not imply disrespect

in fact,

it often implies rather the opposite:

curiosity

caring

concern

 

memory

no one knows how valuable their memory is

until they lose it

maybe you can remember what happened

but you don't remember how it felt

 

why is this ok?

why is this considered medical treatment?

why is this considered healing?

why is this considered therapy?

this is none of those things

in fact,

it is quite the opposite

 

why do people undervalue touch?

do you know what's happened to that person?

maybe they haven't seen another human being in days

do you know how much a hug can do?

grabbing someone's arm?

i know you don't know what happened

but it's better that way

and i hope the same never ever happens to you

 

ever.

 

i used to want to fight it.

fight what?

why is isolation ok?

how is that an improvement?

 

i may have lost many things i love.....

but i must believe they will come back

otherwise

how can they?

 

what a feeling

to be losing your soul

and feel that the people around don't notice

or don't care.

you certainly don't care.

you made that clear quite some time ago

not that it mattered.

 

predictive power is what shapes everything in society

the better you know someone

the better you can predict

what they'll do

or how they'll feel

in a certain situation.

 

damaging your brain

damages your ability to know.

to remember.

yourself.

people.

the world.

 

time to be born again;

if you're lucky, you'll remember your past life.

be patient.

time and trust will heal this.

apathy and distrust have caused it.

don't hesitate to love

don't hesitate to heal

don't hesitate to be well

you can't do it alone

i promise you that

but alone, you will never be.

if you remember the truth

you will never be alone.

the truth

is that you are loving.

you are loved.

and you are capable of loving.

remember the truth

and you will never be alone.

(for more information, see Albus Dumbledore)

[[...]]

I studied English Literature at college, and I must say your poetic structure is magnificent.

 

This piece really touched me - I love poetry that differentiates and doesn't stick to ABABAB. Did I even spot a haiku in there?

 

I know the apathy, and the distrust, and thinking no one cares, and why should you.

 

I've learned that you have to care yourself, to realize everyone around you does care, and is concerned, and does love you, if they're truely friends.

 

If I ever have a down day, I will certainly take another look at this, it's actually very inspirational.

 

Thanks so much for the wonderful words, and glad to know you're healing .

 

Take Care, KD