[...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Nothing, and I mean nothing is the same. Why is this happening? What in my mind has turned everything that was once normal into such a painful, dark place. I hate every part of it now and I don't understand how my mental, emotional, and physical feelings have gone from good and happy to this. If I keep fighting will it really go away? I don't remember what the old, good world was like. I just know I was there my whole life until just some months ago. I have to know it's going to come back but I don't feel at all. I hate this new life. It hurts in every way possible. My love for the people in my life and knowing how good it used to be keep me fighting but I don't see things coming back. I need it so bad.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ho...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I know it's hard to see but it will come back coop. All that you used to be and all that you used to have will having meaning again. I've read countless posts like this one of yours. The way you're feeling is a symptom of withdrawal. It absolutely will get better. Hang on. This is temporary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Ru...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Hey coop just wondering do you feel extreemly confused as if your brain is so fried that you can't even make sence of things from moment to moment? You said you were having trouble reading and writing and talking is this cause you feel so out of it and confused like every second of the day you forget what you were doing and your brain just feels like a total jumble of misfiring thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[WT...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I totally know what you mean, Coop. Everything is now completely different! I don't understand how it can be this extreme. I feel like I've been banished to some twisted copy of Earth in some hellish dimension. It's hard to imagine how it could come back when it's this far gone, but... I keep holding onto a window I had on November 23, where things did turn back to normal for the most part -- it was amazing. Hang on, Coop, we can't stop now, even though we feel as though we can't go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pa...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Coop! All of you.... Hang on! I had this from about 2-4 months. It started to lessen a bit at 4 months and now it's SO much better! It happens to many many of us early off but gets better quickly! Hang in there! You're okay!!! I know it doesbt feel like it but a lot of healing is going on now. It will pass! I promise. ;)Parker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Fl...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Coop! All of you.... Hang on! I had this from about 2-4 months. It started to lessen a bit at 4 months and now it's SO much better! It happens to many many of us early off but gets better quickly! Hang in there! You're okay!!! I know it doesbt feel like it but a lot of healing is going on now. It will pass! I promise. ;)Parker Cosign, 100%. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 I probably could have written the same thing a couple months ago, but this is so much worse and now I'm in the worst state imaginable. I honestly can't see how anyone could suffer as much as I am now. No disrespect to anyone. I've lost all ability to cope, all my patience, all hope, I can't allow anu words or my wife holding me and promising me I'll get better to comfort me. Nothing. I don't see how I can make it. And what if it gets worse? I'm so freaking scared. I hate this. Every part of me hurts so much. It feel like my brain, body, and soul are this close to dying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[sm...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 It takes time but that too shall pass. I'm not healed, not by a long shot but those feelings you're talking about have lightened up quite a bit for me. My wife takes me for drives and when we'd drive past places like my favorite fishing spot, I'd feel as if I would never be able to fish there again, as if I were dead and living some kind of horrible dream. I can drive to all these places now and feel as if I'll be there fishing again soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[WT...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I know you feel really bad, Coop, but can you describe how the world seems? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 I really don't know if I can describe it. It's just every last thing that used to be normal is horrible now and I don't want to do it anymore. I have derealization, but it's not so much how I see the world that hurts, it's how I feel about everything. It's not that I don't feel anything anymore, I feel emotion, physical, and mental pain about everything. And those pains are so bad that they are unimaginable if you've never felt it. Walking, looking at the sky, driving a car, thinking of what to eat, laying down, a phone ringing, reading a sentence, closing my eyes, my animals wanting to lay with me, my wifes touch, waiting to get better....they all hurt so much and they're so evil and hard to deal with in every way possible. I'm not going to hurt myself, I want my life back too much and as unbearable as it is I'm going to keep suffering, but I don't want to be part of this horrible world where everything is like this. It's impossible and I don't even know I can ever be the same for having gone through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 So sorry coop! A lot of us have been there...and are still there...I know the pain too well...Even my good memories of the past seem painful. Everything is so twisted, dark and evil. I don't have the correct perceptions of things and do not have the correct feelings towards things/people. Like you said, it's as if I was from a different dimension and my previous life was just a farce. I too do not see how to get out of this...and honestly, I do not think there's much I can do, but survive...and even that is hard some days. I just cling to the fact that everybody heals sooner or later and this pain will go...it has to go. (((((Hugs))))))) -mmir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pa...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Hi Coop. I'm sorry things are so bad right now. Please try to read Parker's message, he is telling you the truth, as well as Hope's message - its all true. This will leave and you will have everything back just the way you want it, as that is what takes place. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs to you dear Coop! Love to you, Pattylu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[WT...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Coop, I do completely understand this. You've described it well, everything has this bad evil feel to it, anything and everything: The sky, trees, rocks, even my family. It's so hard to imagine it going back, but it does. It stormed here earlier, and I remember how I used to enjoy listening to the thunder, but now I'm not only completely horrified by it, I long for how I used to be so comfortable sitting here on my couch, not in terror and DP/DR, and enjoy nature, even when it was storming. This may be THE cruelest mental malady in existence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I'd like to hear from others who had this and it's gotten better. I totally relate to coop and WTBNA. It's the worst feeling ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 I remember just about a month ago where I thought it was unbearable and yet now it is so much worse. I need to get back to that level soon because I don't know how much longer I can take it like it is now. I'm so afraid of getting through each day and not sure if I could handle it getting worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[li...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 I once was where you guys are now. This is for sure one of the most horrible nitemare you will ever go through! It does get better. Believe me. I still have alot of wd going on but it has gotten so much better. Take one day at a time. The only way is through it. Your body will heal. Linder xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Thank you Linder! Glad this Hellish existence feeling leaves eventually...It's almost impossible to think there's a life other than this, but your reassurance helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[li...] Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 It does end and we do heal. It is just so slow. It takes alot of time. Try to stay as busy as you can. There is not a darn thing we can do about it. Only time. Linder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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