10 weeks benzofree, feeling worse than taper, normal?

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Hi All

 

Tomorrow I will be 10 weeks benzofree. I had a very hard 11 month taper with many ups and downs, but in general I seemed to be a little better the last half of my taper compared to the first part. The first 2-3 weeks after I became benzo free I was doing ok, I was able to get through the days, just waiting for time to pass. Then at week 3 I had an increase in symptoms, and since then I have been almost as bad as the first half of my taper.

 

I just wanted to hear if anybody who did a slow taper, started feeling really bad after they jumped? If the first couple of months often proves very hard to tough out?

 

I am a bit afraid because this "wave" has lasted around 7 weeks now.

 

Thanks

Kasper

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I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch.

I felt significantly worse towards the end of my first taper and after I jumped.  Everyone is different.  There isn't really a "normal" when it comes to benzo withdrawal.  We don't all have the same time frame or symptoms.

Hang in there.  You're healing.

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I had a very difficult taper at times.  Then about a week after I jumped I felt a lot better.  Still pretty sick, but good in so many ways.  This continued till month 2.  Then it slowly became worse again, though not as bad as my taper.  By month 3 things were even worse, then at 4 I felt like I was right back at square one w/ my taper.  This lasted till month 6, and then then day after month 6 arrived, things slowly improved.  I am now 7 months off and over the past month have seen huge improvement in many areas.  I still get slammed with a bad day here or there (tonight being one of them), but it passes.  I still have along ways to go, but I'm getting there. 

 

It doesn't mean you'll feel rough as long as I did, but it does mean you WILL see improvement, even when you feel you won't.  I doubted my healing many times from months 3-6, but I am finally seeing SOME light. 

 

All the best and hang in there! 

 

Hugs and healing,

Schatje

[[No...]]

Thanks both of you!

 

I also had a pretty hard taper, at first I was house bound, then slowly I became able to do more and more, but still going through many rough waves. Now I feel back to square one, but you are right - no recovery follows the same track.

 

Life just seemed more bearable a few months ago while waiting to pass time, the last couple of weeks I have just been counting days.

I guess I am having the same speculations as everybody at this board, the mind just becomes cloudy when suddenly there is no relief.

 

I hope I will be back more positive if/when this wave like stretch passes.

 

Thanks again!

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I remember waiting and waiting for my taper to end...b/c then I would "heal".  I knew it could take some time, but I really had no clue how hard it can still be once off the benzos.  And it's not that it even gets worse, but while tapering, you KNOW there is an end in sight b/c you still have pills to taper off of and that eventually the pills will be gone...but then when you are healing post-benzos, there's no "date" that tells us when THIS part ends.  So it's a waiting game.  I find now even though I am getting better, I live "on edge" wondering when or if I'll get hit again.  I'm having a particularly bad night tonight, but is it as bad as my bad nights 3-2 months ago?  Definitely not.  It just feels horrible b/c I'm now having better days. 

 

You have a great attitude, and I know how hard, tiring and LONG this journey is.  I too was borderline housebound at times during my taper.  Then I'd have a week here or there where things would lift.  I actually did quite well towards the end of my taper, but then got slammed for a week once off.  It's a roller coaster, for sure! 

 

I lost 90% of my positivity about 2 months ago, but it's back now.  Tonight I'm having one of those "crying, frustrated, nauseous, will-this-ever-end" nights, but the difference is that now I have complete confidence that it will.  It just takes SO much patience. 

 

All the best to you...you're doing awesome, even if you don't FEEL awesome. 

 

Hugs,

Schatje