opinions about work and school while going through benzo withdrawal

[[jj...]]

Hi all,

  I have written a post previously about how people work or go to school while going through benzo withdrawal.  I have now been applying to jobs while still coming off this stuff. I just found out I got into school for this coming Sept (2012).

Here is the kicker- right now, (knock on wood), I am not having bad withdrawal symptoms, down to 2.75 mg of clonazepam, which if I continue cutting by .125 I will be down to 1 mg by September. I am a registered nurse, and this program would involve not only a lot of course work, but a clinical placement where I would be responsible for taking blood, giving immunizations, etc.  Very technical nursing skills.  I am asking myself, what happens if I am in a bad state by September?  I cannot afford to have nasty withdrawals and do a clinical placement. If I made a medication error or some other mistake, I could lose my nursing license!  So, my question to all of you is this- Should I plan to take the program, not knowing how my withdrawal will turn out, or should I continue on my quest to get disability coming off this drug!  I have already lost 2 years because of addiction and now withdrawal, and I can no longer sit, not planning my future, and thinking positive that things will be okay as I come further off this drug!

 

Please, I am asking for some educated opinions here!  All of your feedback would be most helpful, in me making the right decision. I know each person's journey off these drugs is unique, and I don't want to think worst case scenario, (Bed ridden), but I need to come up with some kind of plan B, if I get down further off these pills and I cannot function!

 

Thanks for anyone's opinions,

xoxo

[[KR...]]

JJ...I'm going to answer your post since nobody has come along. I'm just going to be honest with you. So take it for what it is. Your future tripping way to hard right now. You have read into way to many worse case scenarios. Your saying to yourself ALREADY "what if" i cant function when i come off this stuff. Your putting the cart before the horse.

 

Lets stay in the present. Like right now. Today. You stated you currently aren't having ANY withdrawl symptoms as of now. This is GREAT. Your taper is going well. Another PLUS. Your a RN (nurse). Good field to be in. Lots of job opportunities. ANOTHER BIG PLUS. You've been accepted into a clinical type of program to help further your career. Here's another PLUS PLUS. And right now your TOTALLY functionable. Geeez. SUPER PLUS!!!! See where I'm going with this??

 

You need to quit thinking about what happens if you cant function when you get lower in your taper and start living life for today. You have ALOT going for you right now and your self sabotaging yourself with a bunch of Negative things that might never happen to you in the first place. There are lots of people that taper off these meds slowly and stay completely functional while doing it. Quit reading all the negative stuff on line and start living life and enjoy it.

 

Also take your time with your taper and listen to your body. Something I did neither of. Ive worked through alot of my cold turkey. I never once consider disability because it would of never covered my bills in the first place so why bother. I would of lost everything. I'm glad that disability is available for people on here that ended up needing it. But i don't think many of them planned on going on it while they were stable and completely functioning. LOL It usually happens in the COMPLETELY NON functioning stage. Something you may never have. Take care and enjoy your job search and your future. You will get out of it what you put into it.

 

Rock

[[DD...]]

Hi JJ,

I am going to chime in on Rock's response, also I posted about this very same thing recently. I think sometimes by reading all of these w/d's will somehow get you to dwell on worst case scenarios as opposed to positive thinking. You CAN do this and live your life, as I am sure many, many people have.They are the ones we may not hear from..... I just think those people who need extra support and encouragement come here, along with having awful experiences. Good Luck!

DD

[[jj...]]

Thanks both of you.  For your upfront and honest opinion.  You are right, I don't know what will happen as I come further off these meds, so why dwell on worst case scenarios.  Thanks so much.  I wish both of you happy healing if you aren't already better. 

Hugs

[[sp...]]

Speaking personally, continuing to work through both my 2006 withdrawal and this one has given me something to hold on to and made me feel saner. I'm lucky enough to have a high degree of flexibility in my schedule and can work from home pretty much whenever I want, which I understand is NOT the norm for most people who work outside a few select industries -- but during my 2006 withdrawal, I was punching a clock 9 hours a day like a lot of other people, and it was still useful.

 

If you can engage with work or study, it's a powerful distraction from everything else. If you can watch yourself continuing to go to work or school during rough times, you can see it as an indication that you're okay and everything will be fine. On the other hand, if you stop doing all that, suddenly you have a ton of free time to sit around and do nothing but fixate on symptoms, which sets up a self-reinforcing system that is much harder to step out of.

 

I agree with the comment about future-tripping. Take every day as it comes. For all we know the planet could be sucked into a black hole tomorrow, in which case we'd all be better off to just have done what we could today and enjoyed it as best we can.

 

[[Fr...]]

JJ. I go to school full time and work full time. Have from the start of it all. I can tell you that it is hard at times, but it can be mind over matter. Sitting in class or being at work while during a hit is tough, but you get through it and to tell you the truth I think it is much better than being at home so you can dwell on your symptoms. I took a week off a month ago, I thought it was going to be great and a nice break... While it was a nice break, I sat around a lot and found myself feeling worse than when I was at work or at school. The distraction seems to really help. I am an Optician and a lot of the work I do is about precision... I get tremors during harder days, but, I somehow gather my strength and can knuckle through it. I think anyone can if they really want to. You mentioned having to draw blood I think, thats why I make the comparison.

 

Just keep pushing and fighting. Our symptoms cannot control what we can and cant do. I know it is easier said than done, but one you believe what you are capable of doing, it is all down hill from there (give of take those nasty speed bumps)