I just wish I was back to normal...this is agony

[[wy...]]

I have had a horrible weekend where I feel good, then bad, then good, then bad. It is like a roller coaster of physical and emotional symptoms. I have been thinking a lot this weekend about how I used to be, and how much I wish I could be like that again. It's like if I could only feel that way again, I would conquer the world.

 

Then I have the thought: What if this really does not ever get better? And what if this is as good as it gets for me healing-wise. I am depressed and hopeless. I don't know what to say or do anymore. It feels so futile.

[[fi...]]

It should definitely get better.  You are still fairly early out.  I know it is hard, but from what you describe, it sounds like you are healing and seeing windows at this time.

 

Hang in there. 

 

Wishing you well ...

 

fg

[[pa...]]

Hi Wylidas,  I,m Pattylu.  I,m so very sorry you are going through so much, I know how difficult this is and can be.  If you are having bouts of feeling good, then feeling bad and again back and forth; the good news, even though it does not seem like it, you are having some windows!!  Yes, it is agony, though, what you want to try to hold onto, you are having windows.  It will get better, I can tell you that first hand.  I healed, like so many before you, it does happen, I promise you that.  You just need to stay t he course, eat as healthy as you can, find "tools" for you that work to cope with this.  Yes, walking, meditation, etc, etc... They all help, but each person must find what works for them.  It's small steps to start.. Then they grow to bigger steps.just know, it is not futile, even though it does feel like that going through this.  You are healing, you will become healed, there is a wonderful new life when you reach the end of the healing tunnel.  I promise you that!!  That,s where I and so many others got to and you will also.  Hugs, Pattylu