9+ month group

[Guest [Pf...]]

I just passed 9 months, and feel like I have not made much progress lately -- in the last couple of months, but it is hard to tell.

 

I am looking for people to share how things changed for them from the 9th month forward, particularly with eye/light sensativity and muscle cramps.  Any comments would be most welcome.  And I will contimue to comment as I go forward as well.  Thanks.  Below is my summary so far

 

I quit after taper (after long term use) in early May.  May and June were tollerable, with soime flareups.  I told myself that these would probably get less and less over time.  Then in late June through September things got worse.  Still going back and forth between windows and waves at that time, but waves were longer, more frequent and more intense.

 

Things then got better in October and have seemd to improve.  Here are my symptoms and what I don't have a problem with:

 

When I get symptomatic, I get bad tightness in eyes, neck and head, and sometimes minor tightness elsewhere like stomach, legs and arms

 

When I get these symptoms, they move around --  my eyes will be tight, then my neck, and then my head, and then stomach.

 

That has always been the case with these symptoms since I stopped.  They are not nearly as strong as they used to be.

 

Those symptoms can be set off by too much stimulation or activity -- exercise, being in a loud restarant, certain types of lighting.  Also, reading or holding my neck a certain way (e.g. to write or get a haircut) can set things off

 

If I simply stay in one place and relax, the symptoms will almost never happen to any meaningful degree.  That is an improvement from the summer when I could not get off the couch for hours at a time when things flared

 

What I don't have much problem with:

 

-Sleep.  While Insomnia used to be a big problem, even on the drug, I tend to get enough sleep and am not tired during the day.  Sleep is sometimes intense with some waking when I first go to sleep or sometimes in the middle of the night.  This does not happen every night.

 

-Panic attacks:  These are occassional and not nearly as intense as they used to be.  This is not my major problem

 

 

 

[[Fl...]]

My progress was slow between 9-12 months off, but that was after getting a big break at 5 months off and some decent progress the following few months.

[Guest [Pf...]]

Thanks

[[An...]]

I started to feel more stable at about 9 1/2 months - I haven´t had a major wave for almost 3 weeks now.

 

I am still getting morning anxiety which reminds me I am not recovered and can set me back for the day.  I try to be positive about it but not always easy.  I also get some daytime nerviness and fatigue.  I still don´t feel well although I feel pretty normal.

 

I am looking forward to the day when I wake up with no anxiety, feel good and look forward to making plans without worrying how I may feel on the day.

[Guest [Pf...]]

Thanks

[Guest [Pf...]]

Does anyone get to the point where they just have waves and windows the rest of their life.  That's how I feel things are going to be, since I am having them still at 10 months out, similar to where I was two or three months ago.

[[...]]

I felt awful pretty much everyday until my 8th month, and although I still had many symptoms, during idle time I noticed that I didn't feel bad anymore.  Although I haven't had trouble with eye/light sensitivity or muscle cramps, my ears constantly crackle when I swallow and I've been told that is due to muscle tension in my jaw causing ear drum spasms.  My baseline condition over the past month has deteriorated.  During my entire w/d, I've only had a few windows where I felt like my old self, but I've had plenty of hard waves.  The mornings are also very difficult for me, which can sometimes be a precursor for a tough day.  I sometimes doubt that this w/d will end.

[[ws...]]

At 14 months off i feel better than I did at 9 months but I am only 60% of the way to full recovery perhaps.  I am focused on 2 years to be recovered...i think that is realisitic timeline even though it is a long time and most dont want to go there.

 

I still deal with sleep problems, back muscle tightness, anxiety and blurry vision.  But i have lost the intense fear and agoraphobia that i had in the early months and I am better in social situations.  I see improvements but they are very subtle.  Time is the key...lots of it.

 

This is serious stuff....benzo withdrawal.  Never again with this junk.

 

Andy

[[Fl...]]

Does anyone get to the point where they just have waves and windows the rest of their life.  That's how I feel things are going to be, since I am having them still at 10 months out, similar to where I was two or three months ago.

 

I don't think I have ever heard of that happening. It is hard to grasp the idea that complete recovery does happen but it does. I can't say this from firsthand experience yet but it does seem like I am getting close.

[[Fi...]]

Hi

 

I wanted to chime in on this thread as I'm nearing 11 months off.  Things were worst for me the first five months.  At five months off I turned my first corner.  I got hit with another major wave from 7.5 to 8.5 months off.  I have been almost stable since 8.5 months off.  I still have symptoms, but I would say I'm 85 % healed. 

 

I still have symptoms (muscle twitches, inner vibrations, hypochondria, tight neck and back of the head muscles and a little dizziness), but these symptoms are not constant.  They seem to come and go rather quickly now, thankfully.

 

  I often wonder if this is how the rest of my life is going to be too.  When I start to get down I just try and remember my symptom free days, and how far I have come.  I am able to work and I have finally returned to the gym.  I think things are going ok.  I just hope it stays this way.

 

Hope and healing to us all!

Fieldy (chan)

[[sh...]]

No, I dont believe this is how you are going to be for the rest of your life...just look at the improvements you have made!

For a while I thought that my ears would never unclogged, but lately, I notice that they are not bothering me all the time.  They were pretty constant for a few months even though many other symptoms fell aside. 

 

sorry to hear you are having so much trouble Rico...hang in there!

 

Shell

[Guest [Pf...]]

Thanks all.

 

Fieldy, I too have that back of the neck muscle problem.  It is like a pulling that makes it hard for me to hold my head in a normal position.  It seems somewhat better than 6 months ago, but it flared up recently.  How has that symptoms progressed for you?

[[Fi...]]

Hi Pfeff,

  This symptom is so much better than it was months ago.  In fact I thought it was gone for good until I woke yesterday with very tight neck and head muscles again.  They are much better today thankfully. 

 

  Things don't hang around very long anymore.  Im grateful for that.

[[sc...]]

Hey Pfeff,

How are you doing with psychological symptoms?  It doesn't sound like they are much of an issue for you.  Have you had any reimergence of the panic attacks?  Just looking for some good news as another long-time K user at 7ish months out.  Thanks and I hope those physical symptoms start fading quick.  I had alot of the physical stuff initially but am now just left with a messed up brain .

Thanks, Scott.

[Guest [Pf...]]

Psychologically, I am actually pretty good, and it wasn't always that way.

 

I have some psychological stuff from the whole situation, but that is totally different than the strange thoughts that I had when tapering the benzos and when first off.

 

Over the years on benzos, I would have scary thoughts, even so far as thinking that newspaper headlines and street signs contained messages of imminent doom.  That is totally gone.

 

I have an occassional panic attack, but it usually passes and is not terribly intense.  That too used to be a problem.  When the physcial symptoms are not present, I do not think about those other things, and, in fact, feel better than I have in years.

 

I expect that if you did not have the psychological symptoms before benzos, that those will go away. 

[[sc...]]

Thanks for the response Pfeff.

 

I have struggled with depression and social anxiety prior to benzos but the craziness I'm experiencing now is another world.  Hoping this isn't the new me.  I wish you the best.

Scott.