How do we get back into everyday life?

[[Ho...]]

This is what's been bothering me the most lately. As most of you already know, I'm about to graduate and will have to start working full-time. Even the thought of this scares me so much, and here's why. For these past years in tolerance wd and wd, everyday life has been too much for me. The only way I could cope was by dissociating with tv and computer.

Now, whenever I'm away from that for too long and am actually trying to "live" again... it all feels surreal and... kind of mysterious I guess  would be the best way to describe the feeling . I think it's some kind of ptsd. It's like I don't understand this "normal" way of life, how everyone's just going about their business without being anxious.  What on earth are they thinking about besides anxious thoughts??  That's how I feel. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and uneasy, like I don't belong in this way of life. If that makes any sense. 

It also is an overwhelming sense of emotional exhaustion, and I keep thinking of getting back to just relax in front of my computer ASAP. It's like I cannot handle functioning for so long without having a break (read: going away by myself to recharge).

 

I don't know if anyone will quite understand what I'm talking about, but I do not know how I'm going to start working full time. I'm afraid I will become burned out within the first 24 hours! 

[[ba...]]

I know it is hard, for me  the best thing  was just to do    it has been difficult to go back to work but lucky because  I work as a courier and do alot ofdriving

[[pa...]]

HI Ms. Hollym....  Hey, you made the Dean,s list, right!!! you need to view that, how you accomplished that honor, with your drive in applying yourself, even through all of this.  Wow, you should be so very proud of yourself.  Holly, find a really good self hypnosis class, you will be amazed.  The thought process is so powerful.  You can use it to your advantage, as we all can, and YOU DID IT... Dean,s list,,,,,  a big pat on your back dear girl!!! :yippee:  find a self hypnosis class.  Hugs, pattylu

[[...]]

OMG! You have just articulated everything I am feeling perfectly! Seeing it put into sensible words really makes me feel like I am not alone. You belong on that Dean's list! I still go to work and have not missed any work, but I am extremely hard-headed and probably should have a few times. But the good news is this: as you go everyday and gut it out it gets easier, little by little. I really felt like an alien for awhile, like I was of a different species than these seemingly happy, calm, humans around me. Why weren't they freaking out too? Didn't they see that this was an emergency and the world was about to end? Why wasn't someone calling an ambulance? couldn't they see I was about to faint any second! Sound familiar? Do not worry it gets better so now I actually kind of look forward to things instead of the constant dread and fear of every little event. For a while there I could not even eat lunch in the breakroom with the others as I thought I would embarass myself somehow. It is getting better little by little so take heart my friend, you and I will rejoin the human race!

[[Fl...]]

I don't have any answers for you but I will say that I'm in a similar position. After having spent the past year plus being essentially useless and the few years before that with reduced function I have a LOT of catching up to do. I have a promising business that should have been off and running by now but having been sick for so long it has gone nowhere. I won't go into details but the hole I'm in is probably bigger than most people can imagine.

 

You are super young. You have plenty of time to get your life on track and this whole experience will probably pay off for you in some way in the long run.

[[Ho...]]

flea- Glad you could relate! Yep, that's exactly how I'm feeling. I think a lot of it has to do with my computer dependency I've developed through all this, too. It was a wonderful escape, and I guess I've become kind of addicted to it. It really is an alternate reality that can make real life feel surreal when you're confronted with it again.

 

FG - Thanks so much, I hope what you say is true, although God knows I feel about 50 years old now, after going through all of this! 

[[Fl...]]

I just turned 40 but before all of this I could pass for early 30's looks wise and I always felt like I was in my 20's. These days I can't even really say how old I look because my brain can't even compute that with my confidence being so low, but I am thinking that this probably put a few years on my appearance.

 

As far as how old I feel....on good days I'm starting to feel like I'm in my 20's again. Hopefully when this is all over I will be back to looking and feeling young again