Anxiety. Need help coping. I am in pain.

[[Kl...]]

Dear Buddies,

 

I am really struggling hard today.  I am getting slammed and I don't know what to do in order to get some footing.  Please share with me what helped you get through your darkest hours.  I am trying not to resist and struggle, but I am frightened.  All my love, KL

[[Be...]]

Those periods are so frightening, K.    I'm so sorry you are getting hit so hard.  Is there anyone there with you?  I did a lot of different things when I felt I might spin out of control, anxiety-wise.  Some of them are on this thread:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=13001.msg180729#msg180729

 

I also pulled out one of my breathing practices I learned from my asthma doctor after a hospitalization:  blowing bubbles!  You probably don't have any bubble stuff sitting around but get some next time you are near a dollar store.  I set a goal of blowing really big bubbles and that automatically slowed and deepened my breathing.  It also gave me something to concentrate on for a few minutes and that alone helped.  Hope some of this helps. 

[[ro...]]

KL,

 

I really wish there was something I could suggest that might help.  Unfortunately, since I'm in the same boat right now, all I can do is offer you my heartfelt support.  If you find the answer, let me know.  Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. 

[[le...]]

Hi Klonkers....I know exactly where you are. I thought I would lose my mind. I had no idea what anxiety was. I just kept telling myself that what I was experiencing was withdrawal and there was nothing wrong with me. It was w/d. My anxiety was horrible. Deep breathing helped a lot. I could almost feel the oxygen in my finger tips.  Nothing like I had ever experienced. It is quite frightening for sure. Beeper...I like the bubble advice. Wish I had known about that.

[[Au...]]

Breathe, breathe, breathe...and distraction... even if it's really hard... call someone, make a cup of tea...anything, to get your focus away from the pain...even for a minute.

You are in the worst phase now.  I know this isn't much help, but I just wanted to tell you that it WILL get better.  Remind yourself that these are just symptoms, no matter how painful they are.  I know it's scary.  You're not alone in this.

I hope you feel better soon.

[[Pa...]]

The only thing that seems to help me whn I'm on the edge is talking to my mom and sister about it. The support and comfort offered by close family members can be invaluable. Hang in there klonkers, you're recovery is unfolding right infront of you. You're in my prayers (don't mean to offend you if that's not your thing).

[[...]]

I jumped at almost the exact time you did! I know how you feel. I can only agree that distraction has been my saving grace, read a book, that is my best one as I really get into the story I actually forget everything else for a while. I do not know if you are up for exercise as that has been a big help also. Are you working? Sometimes this is where I feel OK as I am absorbed in my work. This anxiety can be devestating and I have other weird feelings like everything is fake, and I am the only one who knows, or when I walk the floor is bobbing up and down. Yeah we are in the same boat and I feel your pain, bur remember you have to believe you will get better, and you will.

[[Kl...]]

Those periods are so frightening, K.    I'm so sorry you are getting hit so hard.  Is there anyone there with you?  I did a lot of different things when I felt I might spin out of control, anxiety-wise.  Some of them are on this thread:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=13001.msg180729#msg180729

 

I also pulled out one of my breathing practices I learned from my asthma doctor after a hospitalization:  blowing bubbles!  You probably don't have any bubble stuff sitting around but get some next time you are near a dollar store.  I set a goal of blowing really big bubbles and that automatically slowed and deepened my breathing.  It also gave me something to concentrate on for a few minutes and that alone helped.  Hope some of this helps. 

 

Dear Beeper,

 

Thank you so much for your reply.  I have the anxiety tips bookmarked and I will definitely be rereading them.  I like your idea of blowing bubbles.  I will go to the $ store and get some to add to my "coping kit" (under construction).  I am currently staying at my mom's house and have been here for the last 3 weeks and she is my sole carer. It's a little weird because we are both used to living on our own and we are both older (I am 51).  However, I give my mom kudos for stepping up to the plate and being an incredible source of strength and comfort. My w/d has actually created some nice space for both of us to reconnect not only as mom and daughter, but as good friends. 

 

I think that my symptoms flared  not only because of acute w/d, but because my 80 year old dad underwent open heart surgery today to replace two heart valves and I had to make the conscious decision not to be at the hospital.  It was really rough making this decision because I have long been the "expert" in the family as cardiac nursing is my specialty.  I simply had to let go and trust in others.  He made it through surgery and all I can do is pray.  My lesson in all of this is one of letting go and not anticipating outcomes.  I am balancing opposites - those of powerlessness and empowerment.  Another life lesson courtesy of benzo w/d!!

 

I want to thank you for helping me out in a moment of crisis. I feel a lot better for having gotten this off my chest.  Hugs, KL

 

[[Kl...]]

KL,

 

I really wish there was something I could suggest that might help.  Unfortunately, since I'm in the same boat right now, all I can do is offer you my heartfelt support.  If you find the answer, let me know.  Here's hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

 

Dear roberr,

 

So nice to hear from you my friend. Something that helps me when I start to feel overwhelmed is to imagine that I am surfing a huge tsunami-like wave.  I ride the wave all the way to the shore. I know when I am in the zone when I start to feel exhilarated instead of decimated.  To a better tomorrow!  Many hugs, KL

[[Kl...]]

Hi Klonkers....I know exactly where you are. I thought I would lose my mind. I had no idea what anxiety was. I just kept telling myself that what I was experiencing was withdrawal and there was nothing wrong with me. It was w/d. My anxiety was horrible. Deep breathing helped a lot. I could almost feel the oxygen in my finger tips.  Nothing like I had ever experienced. It is quite frightening for sure. Beeper...I like the bubble advice. Wish I had known about that.

 

Dear leighjay,

 

Thank you so much for coming by to offer me some reassurance and comfort.  I really, really appreciate it.  I knew I was "in trouble" when deep breathing did nothing to alleviate my distress.  Breaking down and sobbing like a child released some calming hormones which definitely helped calm me down.  Hugs, KL

[[Kl...]]

Breathe, breathe, breathe...and distraction... even if it's really hard... call someone, make a cup of tea...anything, to get your focus away from the pain...even for a minute.

You are in the worst phase now.  I know this isn't much help, but I just wanted to tell you that it WILL get better.  Remind yourself that these are just symptoms, no matter how painful they are.  I know it's scary.  You're not alone in this.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Dear August,

 

Thank you for the encouragement and support.  I need to write myself a letter and keep it with me all the time that reminds me that these super scary, super anxious, and super painful emotions will pass.  So far, everything that I have experienced comes and goes. 

 

Thank you again for your kind words.  They really helped.  : )Hugs, KL

[[Kl...]]

The only thing that seems to help me whn I'm on the edge is talking to my mom and sister about it. The support and comfort offered by close family members can be invaluable. Hang in there klonkers, you're recovery is unfolding right infront of you. You're in my prayers (don't mean to offend you if that's not your thing).

 

Dear pzak,

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to come by and offer me support and compassion.  I know you struggle as well and I hope that you are getting some relief. 

 

Having the comfort and reassurance of my mom has saved my rear end more than once during this process!  Getting comfort and reassurance from you is just icing on the cake!  I will gladly accept any and all prayers. Thank you again for reminding me that this is just part of the process.  Hugs, KL

[[Bu...]]

there is always alcohol...

[[re...]]

Klonkers

I just read this thread. I pray your dad is recovering well. I am so glad you have family around. (I didnt realize that when I just PMed you)

 

You are doing great. Hang on another day. That is all you have to do, just one day at a time.

 

I took fast walks out in nature when I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. I also drove and screamed at the top of my lungs. My throat would hurt but I felt better.

 

Wd anxiety is not something that is easily relieved. You just gut it out and survive it.

Time passes and it slowly goes away.

 

Hoping Saturday is better.

 

 

[[Pr...]]

BK, I know you're joking around but still, we have a policy against promoting potentially addictive substances such as alcohol. Check out the forum rules.

[[No...]]

Hi Klonkers

 

Often worrying news spins us out of control.

 

Here are some of my tricks

 

Watching Tv series I know well on dvd on my laptop in my bed. (Especially King Of Queens),

It is comforting that I know pretty much all the dialog, the point is to watch something familiar and cosy to me. Maybe tv series from your youth, I have some Danish ones, but I guess that Alien like language will just tricker the anxiety

 

Sounds of rain and very light thunder on my ipod

I bought "sleep machines, with "rain and thunder" in Itunes store. It is a 1 hour long recording of rain with occasional light thunder. Very calming to me, sometimes helps better than deep breathing. I use it to sleep as well.

 

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rain-and-thunder/id262003372

 

I am sorry to hear about your father, I very much hope that he will be well after the surgery. I am glad to know that you have your mother!

 

Even though I am a guy, crying also helps me a lot. It feels like connecting to myself generates some deep down strengths that alleviate all anxiety. When I cry, I remember who I am underneath the layers of the benzo beast. Just sob away girl!

 

Hugs

Kasper

[[ho...]]

Everyone has a plan until they've been hit  --- Joe Lewis

 

 

Hi KL,  I remembered one of your wonderful replies to my question back on a thread from Milan; I use "meltdown" frequently!:

 

Quote from: hope56 on January 16, 2012, 09:34:21 PM

KL:  "What can we do in order mitigate the extreme sensations caused by a physiological process until our CNS has healed?".  I think that the answer to this question is unique to every individual, but that time allows healing and the ability to develop new and improved ways of coping. 

 

What do you find helpful to mitigate the extreme sensations!!?

 

Hi hope56,

 

What works best for me - When I remember to use these tools/beliefs:

 

1.  Distraction (Doing anything other than focus on my symptoms when I am slammed)  (Mental Symptoms)

2.  Acceptance (The willingness to accept that the only way out of benzo hell is through) (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

3.  Patience (It starts with me and I work on extending it to others) (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

4.  Reassurance (I ask for help when I am unsure).  (Mental Symptoms!!!)

5.  Self-Soothing (I treat myself as if I were my own "bestest" friend). (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

6.  Gratitude - I rejoice in those seconds or minutes when I once again feel safe and whole. (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

 

When all else fails (When I have exceeded all known resources):

 

Never underestimate the value of a MELTDOWN!  I break down, I sob like a child, I seek reassurance, I FEEL BETTER!  It is in breaking down that I am able to replenish my coping resources. I suffer the MOST when I put all my effort into NOT breaking down. 

 

I repeat all of these things in random order every minute that I am awake!  Hugs, KL

 

[[Kl...]]

Klonkers

I just read this thread. I pray your dad is recovering well. I am so glad you have family around. (I didnt realize that when I just PMed you)

 

You are doing great. Hang on another day. That is all you have to do, just one day at a time.

 

I took fast walks out in nature when I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. I also drove and screamed at the top of my lungs. My throat would hurt but I felt better.

 

Wd anxiety is not something that is easily relieved. You just gut it out and survive it.

Time passes and it slowly goes away.

 

Hoping Saturday is better.

 

Dear RFB,

 

I am grateful for these words.  Thank you.

 

Much love, KL 

 

 

 

 

[[Kl...]]

Hi Klonkers

 

Often worrying news spins us out of control.

 

Here are some of my tricks

 

Watching Tv series I know well on dvd on my laptop in my bed. (Especially King Of Queens),

It is comforting that I know pretty much all the dialog, the point is to watch something familiar and cosy to me. Maybe tv series from your youth, I have some Danish ones, but I guess that Alien like language will just tricker the anxiety

 

Sounds of rain and very light thunder on my ipod

I bought "sleep machines, with "rain and thunder" in Itunes store. It is a 1 hour long recording of rain with occasional light thunder. Very calming to me, sometimes helps better than deep breathing. I use it to sleep as well.

 

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rain-and-thunder/id262003372

 

I am sorry to hear about your father, I very much hope that he will be well after the surgery. I am glad to know that you have your mother!

 

Even though I am a guy, crying also helps me a lot. It feels like connecting to myself generates some deep down strengths that alleviate all anxiety. When I cry, I remember who I am underneath the layers of the benzo beast. Just sob away girl!

 

Hugs

Kasper

 

Dear Noolie,

 

I am unable to tell you how much these words mean to me.  I am full of gratitude for your friendship and your compassion.

 

I will download the iTunes rain sounds - excellent idea!  I hope that you are feeling better.  You are a dear friend. . .  Many Hugs, KL

[[Kl...]]

Everyone has a plan until they've been hit  --- Joe Lewis

 

 

Hi KL,  I remembered one of your wonderful replies to my question back on a thread from Milan; I use "meltdown" frequently!:

 

Quote from: hope56 on January 16, 2012, 09:34:21 PM

KL:  "What can we do in order mitigate the extreme sensations caused by a physiological process until our CNS has healed?".  I think that the answer to this question is unique to every individual, but that time allows healing and the ability to develop new and improved ways of coping. 

 

What do you find helpful to mitigate the extreme sensations!!?

 

Hi hope56,

 

What works best for me - When I remember to use these tools/beliefs:

 

1.  Distraction (Doing anything other than focus on my symptoms when I am slammed)  (Mental Symptoms)

2.  Acceptance (The willingness to accept that the only way out of benzo hell is through) (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

3.  Patience (It starts with me and I work on extending it to others) (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

4.  Reassurance (I ask for help when I am unsure).  (Mental Symptoms!!!)

5.  Self-Soothing (I treat myself as if I were my own "bestest" friend). (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

6.  Gratitude - I rejoice in those seconds or minutes when I once again feel safe and whole. (Mental + Physical Symptoms)

 

When all else fails (When I have exceeded all known resources):

 

Never underestimate the value of a MELTDOWN!  I break down, I sob like a child, I seek reassurance, I FEEL BETTER!  It is in breaking down that I am able to replenish my coping resources. I suffer the MOST when I put all my effort into NOT breaking down. 

 

I repeat all of these things in random order every minute that I am awake!  Hugs, KL

 

Dear hope56,

 

Thank you for reminding me of my own words.  It helps to center and ground me. 

 

I need to keep myself out of the scary stuff and keep it simple.  Hugs, KL

[[ma...]]

Beeper,

 

Your advice on blowing bubbles is wonderful!  I have asthma too so this really makes sense to me.  Plus, it's just a fun thing to blow bubbles.  Thanks for sharing that with us.

 

Noolie,

 

I find certain TV programs to be helpful too.  One I've been watching a lot lately is a British show called Rosemary & Thyme.  It's really pretty silly, but that's part of why I like it.  Rather mindless stuff.  It's also about gardening, so there's always beautiful flowers, plants, settings, etc.  There's something comforting about it. 

 

Klonkers,

 

I just wanted to share the title of a book that I'm finding really helpful.  It's called Breathe Well, Be Well by Robert Fried, PhD.  He really addresses anxiety and panic, along with asthma, migraine and other health problems.  His suggestions can be really helpful when you're in the throes of anxiety.

 

I wish you all the best, anxiety and panic are causing me more pain than any of my other w/d symptoms--even worse than the insomnia.  I have an idea of how you're struggling.

 

Mal

[[Kl...]]

Beeper,

 

Your advice on blowing bubbles is wonderful!  I have asthma too so this really makes sense to me.  Plus, it's just a fun thing to blow bubbles.  Thanks for sharing that with us.

 

Noolie,

 

I find certain TV programs to be helpful too.  One I've been watching a lot lately is a British show called Rosemary & Thyme.  It's really pretty silly, but that's part of why I like it.  Rather mindless stuff.  It's also about gardening, so there's always beautiful flowers, plants, settings, etc.  There's something comforting about it. 

 

Klonkers,

 

I just wanted to share the title of a book that I'm finding really helpful.  It's called Breathe Well, Be Well by Robert Fried, PhD.  He really addresses anxiety and panic, along with asthma, migraine and other health problems.  His suggestions can be really helpful when you're in the throes of anxiety.

 

I wish you all the best, anxiety and panic are causing me more pain than any of my other w/d symptoms--even worse than the insomnia.  I have an idea of how you're struggling.

 

Mal

 

Dear Mal,

 

Thank you so much for the book recommendation.  I will definitely check it out!  By the time I am through recovery, I shall undoubtedly have a small library! Hugs, KL

[[ro...]]

How are you, Klonkers?  Hope you're feeling a bit better.

[[Kl...]]

How are you, Klonkers?  Hope you're feeling a bit better.

 

Hi roberr,

 

Nice to hear from you, roberr!  I am feeling a bit better.  My symptoms wax and wane.  How about you?  How are you feeling?  Many Hugs, KL

[[ve...]]

Hi Klonkers.

Anxiety can be one of the most intense s/x to cope with as one finishes one's taper and in the first few months off.  I have found the book "The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety" by Forsyth to be helpful.  Like you, I have a parent in his eighties with heart issues as well as cancer.  Having a sick parent can really push the stress higher as well as the anxiety.  It is essential that you learn some good coping skills.  I wish I had sooner because about a month after I finished my taper, I ended up with Shingles, which I did not think was possible for somebody in their forties.  Mindfulness and meditation are ways to become aware of your triggers and to learn how to balance acceptance vs resistance to what is going on, particularly when stress gets very high, as in having an ill parent or one who needs to rehabilitate after surgery.  Also, I started a thread a couple years ago here in withdrawal support called "The Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group" thread for folks who are off the benzo but still experiencing anxiety, insomnia or some other side effects once off the benzo.  Check it out when you have the time.  Some folks have posted on anxiety there as well.

 

Best wishes,

 

Vertigo