Today is officially 5 months off benzos.

[[so...]]

And I feel like crap!  I've read many posts on this and it appears that the 3-5 month time frame seems to be the worst and so far that has certainly been the case with me.  I just want to go off somewher and die but I have a family to support so I battle this single day and try to put on a brave face so my kids and wife can't see what I'm going through.  THe most difficult part is not allowing my boss or co-workers to see.  Damn....this is hard.

 

I feel like I have the worst flu ever.  Scratchy throat, head congestion, runny nose, puffy/red/irritated eyes, no energy at all, weak all over, no appetite, cold hands and feet.  I just want to lay down and not wake up but I can't...so I press on.

 

Send some energy my way.  This is by far the worst I've ever felt during my detox.  Send some energy my way. 

[[Sc...]]

Hi SoonerDean and congrats for being 5 months free!

 

All I can say is I was there at 5 months as well...and it did end.  I turned a corner at 6 months off.  I am now almost 7 months off and still have days where I think "uh oh", but all and all I am doing MUCH better than I was at 5 months off.  Months 4-6 were some of my toughest times.  I too had the full body flu feeling and every day I just felt rotten.  But I can say that 3 days this week I felt almost "normal", and I am getting more and more of those days.  I'm rarely symptom free, but it's just so much more tolerable and life feels "livable" again.  I laugh, I smile and I can ENJOY myself socially. 

 

Hang in there.  I felt hopeless some days at 5 months off, but it's worth waiting for the corner to turn b/c things begin to get really good then.

 

Hugs,

Schatje

[[of...]]

Me too.  3 to 6 months was agonizing, things slowly got better after six months, no perfect but I could see progress.

 

Nice work,  every day off is another day of healing,  you are very brave!!!

 

love to you zoe

[[Ho...]]

You can do this!  You are doing it!  5 months is a HUGE accomplishment and you should pat yourself on the back.  Your healing could be right around the corner.  I am feeling very similar at almost 6 months off.  However, so many say this is the point where they start to see major improvements.  I believe we are through the worst of it.  Hang in there!  You will get your life back and it will be even sweeter than before. 

[[pa...]]

Hey Sooner - Congratulations! 5 months is a lot of healing.  I'm right behind you  - I'll be 5 months in a few more weeks.  I had the 3-month, 4-month wave and I hear you. It is probably the hardest thing I've ever done!

Hang in there - so many of the buddies say that this is the worst time and that it gets better from here.  You will probably really start to notice improvement SOON.  I'm starting to get there - slowly - not 100% yet - but a lot better and more functional that I was 2 months ago!  Hopefully there is some improvement you can look back on since the jump that will have you "know" that you've had some good healing go on under there.  The more I try to notice, the better I feel.  It's hard when we're not 100% and we want so much for it to be gone yesterday.  But hopefully there is some improvement to notice in the meantime - - Hang in there.  I feel this is the hardest thing we'll ever go through.  But I know we will make it.

;)Parker

[[Ga...]]

We must be on the upswing here,  Dean. Congrat for making it this far. Im about a mo ahead of you.

The fatigue and eye thing are the worst for me. Not fun but we trudge on. 

[[so...]]

Thank you for the words of encouragement.  It REALLY helps to hear from people that understand this process. My wife is a wonderful wOman but she does not understand what I'm going through and has lost her patience with me. I don't really blame her and understand this is not easy for her either. I'm nowhere near the man I used to be and nothing like the man she married.

 

I don't mean to dump all this on you but it helps a little to be able to express it. We have several CLOSE friends that are doctors and she keeps asking them about benzo withdrawal and each of them have told her and me that the Benzos are definitely out of my system by now and that I should be fully healed at this time. This is where she gets upset with me. I'm laying on the couch wanting to die and she's wanting to go do things.  I keep telling her "give me one more month" but I think I'm out of months with her. Oh well...I can only do what I can do.

 

Thanks again for the kind words and encouragement. I'm not giving up but sure do feel like it.

[[of...]]

It has nothing to do with being out of your system.

 

It's the damage they cause that has to repair itself.