Hold or Cut

[[be...]]

Hi everyone. Just looking for some opinions. I made my first cut from 2mg to 1.75mg of ativan 7 days ago. I felt a symptom reduction almost immediately for 6 days and just as I was looking forward to making the next cut I started feeling terrible again at the end of the 6th day. And now the 7th. I'm functional. Just having long, uncomfortable spans of symptoms in the middle of the day even though I'm taking 3 doses.

 

Should I forge ahead and cut another .25 or am I asking for trouble?

 

I haven't been symptom free since I reinstated to 2mg so I'm used to these ups and downs. My psychiatrist's philosophy at this point is that this is just something I need to get through, and that I really need to move forward when at all possible. My heart agrees with this but I'm scared. The c/t symptoms are still pretty fresh in my mind. I hate this. Even WITH my 2 weeks of tapering I've only been on these pills 9 weeks!

 

I'm hoping that because of my short term use and lowish dose that this doesn't get nightmarish. And that when my taper is done the post withdrawal symptoms don't last forever.

[[Be...]]

Hi, benzo down lately.

 

I actually waited 2 weeks between dose reductions  with a couple of longer intervals towards the end.  Unless your doctor won't prescribe enough pills to do a slow taper, I don't think there's any harm in waiting up to another week.  You may end up just having to press on, but at least you will know that you gave your body another week to adjust to the reduction. 

[[Ho...]]

I agree with Beeper.

 

I cut every two weeks. If I'm not feeling well, I'll wait another week. I held for 4 months last year due to 4 cuts that were too big. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm back to cutting every two weeks.

 

Listen to your body.

[[po...]]

Hi BDL, no harm in waiting and seeing if you stabilize some more.  I got really freaked out after making a huge cut early in my taper. It was really good for me just to take it slow and to realize I wasn't ever going to feel that bad again.  And happily, I haven't.

 

best

poppins

[[be...]]

thank you all very much. the reason that i cut .25 after one week is that my doctor has me on a taper to cut .5 every TWO weeks. I'v often read that smaller, more frequent cuts are almost always better tolerated than larger over more time. Anyway that was my thinking. Despite all of your excellent advice. I went ahead and cut out another .25 last night. My doc gives me only EXACTLY what I need in the prescription to complete the taper between visits. So unless I'm in full blown crisis mode, holding isn't really an option.

I'm really happy to be down from 3mg to 1.5.

Even with the daily 2 to 4 hours of cog fog and tinnitus I feel that I'm thinking clearer.

 

It's strange how predictable my wds have become. I feel fine in the morning, take my first .5 pill, work out, come home start feeling the tinnitus, anxiety and backward thinking about 1 hour before my next .5. Then I take it and it only offers a little relief, but enough to get up and do some things. Then I crash hard and sleep for two hours then I get up, shake it off and by the time I am supposed to have my last .5 dose, I feel like I don't need it but I take it anyway. Then I'm fine all night, sleep ok. Then it all starts over the next day. Like clockwork.

 

I guess it will be that mid day dose that will be the hardest to cut. Can't wait to do it though.

 

Thanks everyone. Any continued advice is appreciated.

 

BDL

 

[[Ti...]]

Benzo Down--I was only on Ativan initially for 7 weeks so I KNOW how you feel about the time thing.  The thing I have had to accept is that once your brain is hooked, it's hooked, whether it's been months or years.  Since your doctor won't support longer holds, I guess you have no choice, but all I know is that I deeply regret cutting too fast--I ruined my taper and I was very close to the end   Now I've had to add some Valium to the mix and thank goodness I have stabilized.  But now my taper is going to take much longer which totally sucks.  I was in acute withdrawal for almost 4 weeks from cutting too fast and only sleeping 0-3 hours a night for over two weeks, plus other awful symptoms (I had to pace for hours and hours from all the adrenalin), high BP and heartrate, etc.  Anyways, as long as you can handle the w/d I guess you can push forward, but my w/d symptoms were literally life-ruining so I had to "reinstate".  Now I am stable and am going to begin tapering again suuuuper slowly.  It is so frustrating being a short-term user--I totally get that.  But I've had to shift my thinking from "Getting off the stuff" to pacing myself and listening to my body.

[[be...]]

Well, your story scares the pant off of me. But I'm taking it one step at a time. I'm two days into the second cut and so far no change for the worse. I'm not sure you were able to exercise during your taper. It sounds like it was too bad to do so.

I literally wear myself out every single day at the gym because when I get up in the morning I feel fine. The symptoms come mid day but they still seem manageable, I think because I've flooded myself with endorphins. Fortunately I work at night and by then I feel fine again. When I get home I sleep really well. In fact I'm dog tired.

I know everyone says go slow, but my intuition is telling me that there is such a thing as too slow for me. I AM willing to suffer some withdrawal symptoms to get through this faster. Although, if they were to become unmanageable again as in my cold turkey I would be whistling a different tune. But I really feel like at this rate I seriously doubt that they would get that intense again.

 

I believe that this is how the vast majority of people do it. I still have no real reason to believe that I can't also.

[[Bi...]]

" I started feeling terrible again at the end of the 6th day. And now the 7th. I'm functional. Just having long, uncomfortable spans of symptoms in the middle of the day even though I'm taking 3 doses. "

 

Down, hello.  What you said above describes how I feel today, which is day 5 of my first .125 mg cut.  I'm taking .375 divided into 3 doses.  It may not sound like much, but I just had a wave of hot flush in my entire upper body which is brand new and alarming.  I can't believe I am living this.

 

Bilbo

[[be...]]

Tell me about it! This is the worst BS ever. BIlbo what is your history? how long were you on?

 

The way I've been handling it is to become a stronger person. I feel like crap I'd say 50 percent of the day but I decide to go out and do things and carry on as if nothing ware the matter. In fact I do more than I normally would. It eventually helps. I'm used to feeling a baseline of yuck but I manage to get something through it that is positive. It beats the hell out of laying around in bed reading horror stories about benzo wd. That may be my single biggest trigger actually.

[[Bi...]]

I've been taking ativan on/off since Aug.  I always thought by skipping two or three days I'd be ok.  Just kidding myself, I guess, because 1-1/2 weeks ago I made it 48 hours without the pill and thought I was dying.  I told the doctor the following week.  It was really humiliating, and he said to taper over two weeks.  I feel I will be lucky to attempt another cut two weeks from the first .25 mg. cut.

 

I'm really tempted to water titrate my remaining pills or go to the compounding pharmacy.  The Dr. said he would not let me cross to another drug, but would give me more ativan if I needed it.  I almost hate to ask for more.  I may think about dividing daily dose into 4 or more portions rather than the 3 I'm doing now, although I am starting to think I must have reached tolerance and expect sx 24 hrs/day.

 

I'm doing as you are, at least today.  I was off work and took the dog for a long walk, and sat on a park bench downtown in the sun, then came home and worked in the yard.  I have had low level wd sx all day, and I feel oddly grateful for that.  During the week I have no choice but to press on at work and do my best, it takes constant self-prodding to not pay too much attention to the sx, to try to ignore them.

 

Hope your day is tolerable!  I know what you are getting at, I feel I may end up stronger, and more realistic in my expectations in life.  At least I know now to feel some gratitude for the absence or lessening of pain!

 

Bilbo

[[be...]]

I just noticed that you quit drinking before this ativan stuff happened. that is exactly what happened to me. i have a feeling we are dealing with post acute wd from alcohol ALONG WITH the ativan wd.

that is why we seemed to become so dependent on the pills in such a short time. they effect the exact same part of the brain as booze. so in a way we havent fully given up alcohol yet.

the post acute wd from alcohol will usually supposedly peak at 3 months and then lessen in time.

[[mi...]]

Get a new doctor or even a nurse practitioner who is willing to use the Ashton manual. This country doctors (US) is simply ignorant when it comes to learning a technique that might actually work. I was on Ativan and tried to taper off it only to fail a few times. I even went through the detox nightmare. Ativan is potent and has a short half life and it is going to be a long miserable road ahead for you unless you are crossed over to Valium or Librium and doing a very long slow taper. After I was stabalized, I crossed over to Librium and taper every 3 weeks. Life has been so easy this way. The only problems I really have is some weight gain, benzo gut at times and headaches when I drop a dose and sensitive to some foods. These are some pretty easy symptoms to put up with compared to what I was while on Ativan. Also Librium is less potent, long half life and not as depressing as Valium.

[[Ti...]]

Miss Kim I failed tapering off Ativan directly so just added some Valium and stabilized. I have bee trying to cross over but the problem is that I have been feeling Ativan wd when crossing over. Did you feel Ativan withdrawal?  Now I am on both Ativan and Valium at a ratio of about 3-1. I am pretty stable so instead of crossing over completely to valium I think I will slowly taper off the Ativan first and then the Valium second. The crossover was just to difficult for me. Anyway I hope this method works. I do feel much better and am sleeping better than a few weeks ago. The Valium improved all that!

[[be...]]

I had a really rough day yesterday which was day 5 of my second cut. Really intense anxiety and tinnitus and more.

The problem with all of this Valium, Librium crossover advice is the fact that I may not need to do this. Right now, even though symptoms have come and gone, my taper is going ok as far as I'm concerned. If I crossed to anything else I'm chancing a. Not being able to tolerate a crossover and b. potentially adding several months to my taper.

 

The fact is, I have only been taking Ativan since December 15th of 2011. The highest amount I was taking was 3mg and that was only for 2+ weeks. I am now down to 1.5 and although it is a struggle at times. I'm functional.

 

So from my point of view and going on the advice of my doctor, I need to try it this way because for all I know, this will be fine for me. I hope I'm not wrong but I'm banking on my short term use and somewhat lower dosage to make this direct taper possible.

[[Ti...]]

Benzo Down--Just listen to your instinct and your body.  You know your body and what you can handle the most.  You are right--there are so many variables.  This stuff just sucks but eventually we will all be OK and be ourselves again.  It's just that everyone is so different so there is not "one way" that works for everyone.  I am still trying to figure out what works for me and I think I am just so sensitive.  I can't believe I have been on this stuff almost 5 months when I was originally only on it for 7 weeks originally.  I think you will be fine, and I know I will be too.  In the end, our brains have an amazing ability to heal.  The fact you said you are functional is KEY.  Two things--are you sleeping decently?  Are you able to eat?  I think those are the basics.  If I can maintain sleeping and eating then the rest is just sucky w/d.  As long as you are sleeping and eating and remaining somewhat functional, you may be doing exactly the right thing.  Stay confident and stay strong and just listen to your body and your doctor too.