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how to deal with the disbelief


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How do you guys deal with the many people in your life who just cant accept this happens or is even possible? 

I have a person in my family who does this to people. It is hard for me to handle. I cannot speak to them anymore. Likely never will to any degree.  They are a very unstable person and addict to similar things themselves. They even think their own illness is in no way related to the drug problems and are giving them to others. 

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It's really difficult there is a letter on here somewhere a doctor wrote for us to give to family and friends. It's so difficult for people to understand as it sounds so crazy. I also have shown snippets of others  success stories to friends so they understand the length of time it takes to recover and all the weird symtpoms people go thorough.

This is an out of this world experience that no one will ever understand unless they have a lived experience of it.

People try and be supportive but we sound absolutely mad when we tell them things. 

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I know, this makes everything so much harder because you have to deal with disbelief on top of everything else. It is a very lonely road! I'm at a point now where I got used to the idea that I have to keep these things to myself and it's nobody's business.

I've found people get stuck in denial even when you show them articles about this, they just don't want to believe because, I think, it's easier to keep on trusting drs blindly and they're probably taking some kind of psych med themselves.

On the other hand, I've been surprised by a few people who have been willing to listen so it's not all bad. But it's pretty surreal when you find out that strangers you had no relationship with are more sympathetic than your own family.

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7 hours ago, [[L...] said:

How do you guys deal with the many people in your life who just cant accept this happens or is even possible? 

I have a person in my family who does this to people. It is hard for me to handle. I cannot speak to them anymore. Likely never will to any degree.  They are a very unstable person and addict to similar things themselves. They even think their own illness is in no way related to the drug problems and are giving them to others. 

I really understand what you mean. I have a sister who has never been there since the beginning of my issues with meds. Hum in fact, to be honest, she has never been by my side since I began to have OCD and depression 25 years ago. So I think it's rather something that has to do with awareness of psychologic issues. Like for things they don't already know, people are reluctant to accept stuff they don't understand right away. Silly fear of the unknown again. Fear of the psychological unknown even more...

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That definitely happens and to some degree with most of my family. They other family member who really confuses me denys any damage from pretty much all drugs. Swallows a handful herself and prescribes them also. Very hard for me to understand. 

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On 25/10/2024 at 20:41, [[L...] said:

How do you guys deal with the many people in your life who just cant accept this happens or is even possible? 

I have a person in my family who does this to people. It is hard for me to handle. I cannot speak to them anymore. Likely never will to any degree.  They are a very unstable person and addict to similar things themselves. They even think their own illness is in no way related to the drug problems and are giving them to others. 

I'm sorry your dealing with that sounds hurtful and shitty of them. Sounds like they are likely subconsciously triggered by their own self avoidance and projecting that onto you. Which is a very toxic trait and their personal problem not yours to hold. Idk where your at in your journey but as insulting as that is I have a sibling that treats me that way guilts me degrades me tries to convince other family members I'm exaggerating or making this up as if it's fun for me and I enjoy it ? So I can relate the way I deal with it is I quit taking her calls, I quit letting myself care of think about it I avoid her at all costs and don't care what anyone thinks about that decision cuz every ounce of my energy has to go towards getting myself through this and healing I can't even hold the space for drama or ignorant ppl that lack empathy for any reason. Like at all. Which maybe in a way that's teaching us something right ? For me maybe I didn't do that or stick to that enough when I was well ? I do believe I won't forget it when I'm healed like giving a new skill of strength to recognize that unwillingness to understand or show care towards me is maybe a new boundary I set for myself that I no longer tolerate in my life. The real ppl will show up and the fakes will weed themselves out. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise ?  🥸 

It's hard though I'm not taking away from that. This has also taught me a lot of humility because I've had accept being extremely humble while I cannot help looking like a hobo and basically being a zombie and being sick month after month after month now pushing into the second year I realize it must be hard to deal with for others and I see how they can't possibly understand and I just accept within myself I KNOW I'm fighting the battle of my life and I KNOW this hard AF so I just let them think whatever and know I'll be better one day. I showed my family the benzodiazipine information coalition website, Dr. Josef YouTube videos and videos on TikTok of famous and regular people talking about how this happened to them you can print stuff out from that website and the coalition also has a YouTube channel that's great but if someone is that uncaring towards you it might not be worth it to even try and frankly they may not even be worthy of sharing in your journey or your success when your healed. Sending love and full understanding your way 💗

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I totally hear where you are coming from.

My family believes me that I'm going through benzo withdrawal while tapering but believe that everything about it is OCD (min timeline based on me having bind and tapering at the same time, the fact that I even have BIND - I got the diagnosis from 2 doctors, that interdose withdrawal on Valium is rare).  Some are giving me the cold shoulder.  They see me on BenzoBuddies, BIC, and peer reviewed scientific articles as "internet research".  I get anger, the cold shoulder (all but been cut off emotionally), or pressure to try a certain  medicine depending on the family member.  If they think that this is just OCD (which has gotten worse admittedly) then I'm living in a different reality.

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I just talk about it with my mother. The rest of the family just see me as a nutcase. They are very surprised now when I'm better! I could read there eyes when i was still in hell. Zero compassion..and like looking at a sick dog.

 

 

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16 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

I just talk about it with my mother. The rest of the family just see me as a nutcase. They are very surprised now when I'm better! I could read there eyes when i was still in hell. Zero compassion..and like looking at a sick dog.

I went through this and still do. I sadly have a sister psych convincing everyone I am a nutcase and all drugs are good. As I improve everyone is just like finally he isn’t pretending to be sick. 

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12 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I went through this and still do. I sadly have a sister psych convincing everyone I am a nutcase and all drugs are good. As I improve everyone is just like finally he isn’t pretending to be sick. 

Such a dreadful behaviour! How can such unawareness be?

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1 hour ago, [[E...] said:

Such a dreadful behaviour! How can such unawareness be?

I dont really think it is uncommon. I think it is almost expected and the signature of this field. If you believed in the many many horror stories instead of making excuses you couldnt really continue treating almost everyone who seeks you out. Bad business. 

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3 hours ago, [[L...] said:

I dont really think it is uncommon. I think it is almost expected and the signature of this field. If you believed in the many many horror stories instead of making excuses you couldnt really continue treating almost everyone who seeks you out. Bad business. 

You're absolutely right, unfortunately :(.

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Ninety percent of the people around me disappointed me with their attitude to my health problems. I try to explain, but they don’t get it, are not interested or dont’t care at all.

I shared with my Facebook friends about my problems with Dopamine Agonist and benzo withdrawal, but only  around ten percent of them reacted and wrote comments of support. Luckily nobody made negative comments or disputed my experience. Most of the people just ignored my writing about this unpleasant topic. The problem of the drowning is a problem of the drowning, as the saying goes. 

My mother is hiding from our family and friends how bad my health problems are (Parkinson’s disease & benzo wd sxs) in order to avoid uneasy questions  why she is not continuing to actively help me. She helped me for a month, for which I am extremely grateful and have bought her many presents to thank her, but this was everything that she was willing to do under pressure from my brother, who lives on the other side of the world. She can not understand what withdrawal is and does not believe that it can last for longer than a couple of months.

I discovered today, that my best friends from childhood never speak about me or think about helping me in any way. 

Luckily, there were some surprising reactions of understanding and support from our neighbours, my manager,  a couple of colleagues  from work and more distant friends, who offered their help with gardening, grocery shopping, info about a rehabilitation clinic for Parkinson parients nearby  (normally covered by my general health insurance), moral support by sending me wishes for better health, etc.

Thanks God for these good people and my supportive husband! ❤️❤️❤️ 

I believe that we should not waste any energy with selfish and narrowminded people, but use it to get better and to spend time with the people whose hearts are ar the right place. ❤️❤️❤️

Edited by [Tr...]
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Their ignorance and arrogance is disgusting. I’m lucky to have a family that supports my illness. They know what happened to me could happen to them too. I would avoid people who don’t believe you. Stay off FB. Unless FB has a support group for Benzo use. I’m on a FB group for Mirtazapine. 

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Hi @[Cu...], I have no problem communicating with my Facebook friends. I prefer to inform them myself about my situation, instead of them hearing half-thruths from my mother or half-understood stories from other people.

My experience with FB groups has been so far disappointing. I found out that both groups of which I am a member, existed mainly for benzo coaches and psychologist to find clients and that information which could help members to make taper plans alone (info how to buy Maudsley deprescribing or read the Ashton Manual) was not allowed to be published in posts.
 

41 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Their ignorance and arrogance is disgusting. I’m lucky to have a family that supports my illness. They know what happened to me could happen to them too. I would avoid people who don’t believe you. Stay off FB. Unless FB has a support group for Benzo use. I’m on a FB group for Mirtazapine. 

 

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