The Me Inside - A poem

[[Os...]]

He's still there
I can still feel the real me, clawing his way to the surface
He comes out sometimes, bringing a smile to a wave
Receding into the next window

What will be left of him when the poison is out of my body for the last time
Will he have to fight through layers of fog
Will he go dormant for months, before finally coming out again, in ever-increasing spurts

Will my family stick with me while they wait?
Will my friends remember the smiles, the laughs?

Someday I'll be able to have a beer
Someday I'll be able to go to a bar
Someday I'll be able to go to a ballgame or show without my nervous system burning
Someday I'll be able to just say yes

Today, I can't sit or stand without some pain, somewhere
Today, I can't fall asleep at night and know that I'll stay asleep for more than 3 hours
Today, I can't chase my kids around the house
Today, I can't say yes

I want to be done with this
I want to say goodbye to this chapter and begin the real pain of withdrawal
But, I can't bring myself to do it
I need to remain functional
I need to remain coherent and mobile

The me inside will have to wait a little longer
I'm so close, but so afraid of what's next

[[Re...]]

Thank you for this.

[[Pa...]]

Beautiful @[Os...], I look forward to knowing the you inside when you recover. 

[[...]]

On 13/10/2024 at 21:20, [[O...] said:

What will be left of him when the poison is out of my body for the last time

..........................

Will my family stick with me while they wait?
Will my friends remember the smiles, the laughs?

Someday I'll be able to have a beer
Someday I'll be able to go to a bar
Someday I'll be able to go to a ballgame or show without my nervous system burning

@[Os...], thank you for the wonderful profound poem! It reflects so much my own feelings when i was still tapering. I think the answer to the above is 'YES'  and the quantity of these 'some days' will multiply the further, the more✨ 

[[Tr...]]

Beautiful! Made me emotional. 🥲