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Tapering Valium again after long hold


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[Fi...]

Hi fellow BBs,

I    hope this message finds you all doing okay.  I    know this whole process can be and is typically not comfortable to say the least.  I    have been tapering for a year now, after a long history with benozs, a rapid taper and other mental health problems.  I     have been so miserable for so long, and am finally starting to see the light.  I    have pretty nasty symptoms when I    drop my dose,  I    am at 9.96mg per day of Valium.  I    am taking 4.96mg AM, and 5mg PM.  I    just dropped the AM dose two days ago, usually I    start to suffer around day 3-4, unfortunately nightmares last night which is a strong indicator that I    am feeling the drop.  I    am scared and just seeking some encouragement...I    was feeling okay at 10mg after about a two month hold, and my body knew it was time to drop...but now I    am like oh gosh what did I    do...I    just do not want suffer anymore and I    know a lot of us BB can relate to that...it has been a long horrific journey for too many...I    am just starting to get drained from all of this.

Best,

Fierce

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[Do...]
31 minutes ago, [[F...] said:

Hi fellow BBs,

I    hope this message finds you all doing okay.  I    know this whole process can be and is typically not comfortable to say the least.  I    have been tapering for a year now, after a long history with benozs, a rapid taper and other mental health problems.  I     have been so miserable for so long, and am finally starting to see the light.  I    have pretty nasty symptoms when I    drop my dose,  I    am at 9.96mg per day of Valium.  I    am taking 4.96mg AM, and 5mg PM.  I    just dropped the AM dose two days ago, usually I    start to suffer around day 3-4, unfortunately nightmares last night which is a strong indicator that I    am feeling the drop.  I    am scared and just seeking some encouragement...I    was feeling okay at 10mg after about a two month hold, and my body knew it was time to drop...but now I    am like oh gosh what did I    do...I    just do not want suffer anymore and I    know a lot of us BB can relate to that...it has been a long horrific journey for too many...I    am just starting to get drained from all of this.

Best,

Fierce

Hi @[Fi...]

Which method are you using to cut? are you doing cut and hold? How much are you cutting and how often?

 

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[Pa...]

Congratulations on dropping your a.m. dose @[Fi...], this is huge, I hope you can focus on and celebrate reaching this milestone. 

It sounds like you're dealing with some typical symptoms and fears probably made a little more intense because of your elimination of your morning dose but its just another reduction after all, just like all of the others you've made.  I'm confident things will settle down, your body let you know it was time to reduce and now its letting you know its not happy but things will settle, you've been here before so let your experience of the process calm your fear. :)

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[Fi...]
On 14/06/2024 at 06:49, [[D...] said:

Hi @[Fi...]

Which method are you using to cut? are you doing cut and hold? How much are you cutting and how often?

Hi I am not sure the proper name for the type of taper I am doing.  I believe It is a dry cut, I am doing a very slow taper by using an emery board to file very small amounts off my current dose and weigh the tablet before a file off and after to get the correct weight for the dose.  I went from 10mg daily and am not at 9.94mg.  Mental symptoms are revved up pretty badly, I was stable at 10mg and maybe just should have stayed there…I know this will calm down eventually but it is so hard to imagine that a 0.06mg dose cut could be so impactful.  
 

I tried using two 2mg tablet and then the correct weight of a third one, but today I used a 5mg tablet with the correct weight and dose.  I was convinced I aggravated my system from switching to the 2mg tablets…so I felt a bit more comfortable today after having an episode yesterday morning…I am definitely holding here at 9.94 for as long as it takes.  This is just unbelievable sometimes.  Literally a 0.6% drop in dose.  I feel like I am making this up—-0.06mg/10mg x 100 = 0.6% right?  
unbelievable.

sorry for the complain-a-thon.  I’m in so much pain, mentally and physically.

I have been eating and went for a walk today…the irrational fear is unreal…this is just a complete nightmare.  I am so sorry for all of us suffering, I know we will heal, it’s just a small moment in time…

 

Love,

Fierce

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[Fi...]
On 14/06/2024 at 09:06, [[P...] said:

Congratulations on dropping your a.m. dose @[Fi...], this is huge, I hope you can focus on and celebrate reaching this milestone. 

It sounds like you're dealing with some typical symptoms and fears probably made a little more intense because of your elimination of your morning dose but its just another reduction after all, just like all of the others you've made.  I'm confident things will settle down, your body let you know it was time to reduce and now its letting you know its not happy but things will settle, you've been here before so let your experience of the process calm your fear. :)

I’m so scared PAMSTER…so scared :(

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[Do...]
41 minutes ago, [[F...] said:

it is so hard to imagine that a 0.06mg dose cut could be so impactful

Hi @[Fi...]

I am tapering diazepam as well and i drop 0.02mg from monday to friday and hold on weekends so i taper 0.10mg every week from 3.15mg and i dont think a 0.06mg drop from 10mg of diazepam can cause your symptoms. Did you made another big cut before, what was your initial dose?

You got it right, it's 0.6% what you removed and that is too low to suffer as you are. Maybe is the pill switching, i changed my tapering method and even the maths were exact and the same i got huge acute symptoms cause the mesure is never the same, when you change the size of pills, and even the brand you can feel it very much, we become so sensitive. I sugest you to hold until to stabilize and find one accurate taper method and stick to it.

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[Do...]
On 14/06/2024 at 15:06, [[P...] said:

Congratulations on dropping your a.m. dose @[Fi...], this is huge, I hope you can focus on and celebrate reaching this milestone. 

It sounds like you're dealing with some typical symptoms and fears probably made a little more intense because of your elimination of your morning dose but its just another reduction after all, just like all of the others you've made.  I'm confident things will settle down, your body let you know it was time to reduce and now its letting you know its not happy but things will settle, you've been here before so let your experience of the process calm your fear. :)

Hi @[Pa...] i dont think she removed the whole morning dose, just 0.06mg to that.

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[Pa...]
45 minutes ago, [[F...] said:

I’m so scared PAMSTER…so scared :(

I know @[Fi...], the fear was intense for me too, I was afraid of things I'd never given a second thought to.  You mentioned you were able to eat today and go for a walk so I can see you're doing your best to counter the pain and fear.  Its so important to push back on the fear, I used to have a mantra of sorts, I'd say this isn't real, its not me and it won't be me when I recover and the same can be true for you.  

All we can do is educate ourselves as best we can about what's happening to us and trust in the fact we'll make it through because the only way out of this mess is through it.  

Have you read this, it was written by one of our members, it explains things in layman's terms, something I can appreciate.  

 

 

 

Just now, [[D...] said:

Hi @[Pa...] i dont think she removed the whole morning dose, just 0.06mg to that.

Thanks @[Do...], I missed that but I so appreciate you being here to help @[Fi...], you have the experience I don't.  

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[Fi...]
On 15/06/2024 at 19:43, [[D...] said:

Hi @[Fi...]

I am tapering diazepam as well and i drop 0.02mg from monday to friday and hold on weekends so i taper 0.10mg every week from 3.15mg and i dont think a 0.06mg drop from 10mg of diazepam can cause your symptoms. Did you made another big cut before, what was your initial dose?

You got it right, it's 0.6% what you removed and that is too low to suffer as you are. Maybe is the pill switching, i changed my tapering method and even the maths were exact and the same i got huge acute symptoms cause the mesure is never the same, when you change the size of pills, and even the brand you can feel it very much, we become so sensitive. I sugest you to hold until to stabilize and find one accurate taper method and stick to it.

Thank you very much for the response...it seems the pill switching was the culprit.  I    had no idea that the bioavailability could vary so much, but apparently according to my friend who is a clinical pharmacologist the multiple pills can make a large difference in blood levels actually even at the same exact dose, I    was completely ignorant...and with my history of being so sensitive...well, at the very least it explains the tailspin and what not to do in the future.  I    have been on 4.94mg in the AM using the 5mg tablets for two days now and am feeling much better tonight, not where I    was but improved.  I    hope tomorrow I    will be more in balance, so although this was awful it was a learning experience.  I    am going to stay at the 4.94mg for a while until my body says to drop again.  I    am going to anticipate at minimum a month, I    am in no rush at all...I    do not want to rock the boat again like this, it just was not worth the pain and suffering.  Slow and steady...just have to remember this is not a race.  I    will heal, we all do in time.  I    am so grateful for the responses to my distress.  I    value everyone's time very much.  Thank you.

 

Love,

Fierce

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  • 3 weeks later...
[Ka...]
On 14/06/2024 at 06:17, [[F...] said:

Hi fellow BBs,

I    hope this message finds you all doing okay.  I    know this whole process can be and is typically not comfortable to say the least.  I    have been tapering for a year now, after a long history with benozs, a rapid taper and other mental health problems.  I     have been so miserable for so long, and am finally starting to see the light.  I    have pretty nasty symptoms when I    drop my dose,  I    am at 9.96mg per day of Valium.  I    am taking 4.96mg AM, and 5mg PM.  I    just dropped the AM dose two days ago, usually I    start to suffer around day 3-4, unfortunately nightmares last night which is a strong indicator that I    am feeling the drop.  I    am scared and just seeking some encouragement...I    was feeling okay at 10mg after about a two month hold, and my body knew it was time to drop...but now I    am like oh gosh what did I    do...I    just do not want suffer anymore and I    know a lot of us BB can relate to that...it has been a long horrific journey for too many...I    am just starting to get drained from all of this.

Best,

Fierce

What are the symptoms you are experiencing with this, the nasty ones you mentioned? Im doing similar. just thought we could compare notes?

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[Ka...]
On 15/06/2024 at 19:59, [[P...] said:

I know @[Fi...], the fear was intense for me too, I was afraid of things I'd never given a second thought to.  You mentioned you were able to eat today and go for a walk so I can see you're doing your best to counter the pain and fear.  Its so important to push back on the fear, I used to have a mantra of sorts, I'd say this isn't real, its not me and it won't be me when I recover and the same can be true for you.  

All we can do is educate ourselves as best we can about what's happening to us and trust in the fact we'll make it through because the only way out of this mess is through it.  

Have you read this, it was written by one of our members, it explains things in layman's terms, something I can appreciate.  

Thanks @[Do...], I missed that but I so appreciate you being here to help @[Fi...], you have the experience I don't.  

thanks for including this "whats happening in your brain" by PArker. Incredible! If one thinks its all in their head and its NOT, this is stunning info!

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[Fi...]
9 hours ago, [[K...] said:

What are the symptoms you are experiencing with this, the nasty ones you mentioned? Im doing similar. just thought we could compare notes?

Hi, sure, where do I  begin...I    believe paranoia and extreme fear are two of the worst mental ones...I    have burning nerves and fatigue.  I    could sleep for a year.  I    am also very depressed, super negative about things and lack motivation.  I  also suffer from episodes of apathy, and hysterical crying.  My monthly cycle aggravates all of it, and then I    usually have a window and period of respite after the final week of the 28 days.  

Love,

Fierce

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[Ka...]
1 hour ago, [[F...] said:

Hi, sure, where do I  begin...I    believe paranoia and extreme fear are two of the worst mental ones...I    have burning nerves and fatigue.  I    could sleep for a year.  I    am also very depressed, super negative about things and lack motivation.  I  also suffer from episodes of apathy, and hysterical crying.  My monthly cycle aggravates all of it, and then I    usually have a window and period of respite after the final week of the 28 days.  

Love,

Fierce

Hiya Fierce! you know my ssister used to alert me of my very wacky OTT periods! I used to think I was the only woman on the planet experiencing every symptom of PMDD and even more they never had in the bullet lists! I still get them VERY bad after so many years, do you think theres a correlation? dont feel bad about the apathy and crying youre human too. Anyway I would like to write more but Im nodding off in my time zone, will return however, just wanted to  peep in say hiya and acknowledge, & sending positive vibes!

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[Fi...]
On 02/07/2024 at 22:01, [[K...] said:

Hiya Fierce! you know my ssister used to alert me of my very wacky OTT periods! I used to think I was the only woman on the planet experiencing every symptom of PMDD and even more they never had in the bullet lists! I still get them VERY bad after so many years, do you think theres a correlation? dont feel bad about the apathy and crying youre human too. Anyway I would like to write more but Im nodding off in my time zone, will return however, just wanted to  peep in say hiya and acknowledge, & sending positive vibes!

positive vibes back at ya!

 

Love,

Fierce

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