The Long Hold Support Group

[[AZ...]]

Hi everyone. I haven't posted in here before but I have a question for you all. I'm in a precarious position at the moment. I'm doing a dry microtaper and was making progress until about a month ago when I hit .25 mg's Klonopin. I'm currently at about midway between .25 and .125 mg's and my symptoms have gotten truly unbearable to the point that if things don't calm down I'm going to have to go to a detox center as my parents cannot handle me being out of my mind all the time.

 

I know updosing is frowned upon but has anyone had success with a slight updose followed by a long hold? I've been holding my dose for the past 8 days which I realize is not very long but I literally was researching detox facilities all day with my parents. I'm so sensitized that I'm terrified to make that step but I can't tolerate these symptoms at home so I'm hoping to do a small updose to where I was 2 weeks ago so I can hold in a place that is at least not a constant crisis.

 

Has anyone done a slight updose to get some relief out of a crisis state followed by a long hold and then been able to handle their taper? Feel like all of the daily microcuts have really caught up to my nervous system.

Hi JayTay

It looks like you’ve been cutting by a large large percentage recently, and you’re down to a smaller dose.  If you want to avoid strong, bad symptoms you need to reduce the cuts as you get lower, shaving very small amounts off.

 

I (and many others on BB) have successfully done small up doses and held and stabilized.  I would recommend updosing a small amount, then holding until you feel much better.  It can take a long time holding on a stable dose (3 or more months) to feel better once you’ve tapered too far too fast.  I personally held for more than 4 months before slowly tapering.  I very gradually improved, with windows and waves, during my hold. I am doing a DLMT and I have steadily improved even more with time.  Still tapering, and now I’m feeling nearly normal as I taper.  It has taken a long time to really feel good again, over a year now.  But i can say from experience it does get better in time.  I also highly recommend DMLT, It has really worked well for me so far, very smooth.

 

Good luck, hang in there we will get there!

[[Mo...]]

Hi, new to this thread.

 

I have been doing long holds due to life issues. Started tapering last Jan from 10mg valium. Had to hold one time for 3 months, then dropped 1mg every two weeks until 2mg  then held for 3 months.

 

After these last three month hold I started again when I was at 2mg  but this time I went down just 1/8 of mg. Figured I needed to slow way down. went down to 1.80 mg This was the first time I hit a wall. Not horrible or that bad, but I held for three weeks until I didn't have any wd. Then started tapering using a jewelers scale. A little for 5 days.  Going to hold this until I feel better then slow that down.

I can't do tiny daily tapers for more than five days apparently.

 

So far the times where I had to hold were fine. I evened out and did well. So that's where I'm at now. These last few mg are going to take a lot longer than the first 8mg. Sometimes it's discouraging how long it will take. But I tell myself as long as the numbers go down, even just a smidge, is what I should aim for.

 

It's just trial and error right now.

 

I'm glad there is so much help here

 

[[St...]]

Hi, new to this thread.

 

I have been doing long holds due to life issues. Started tapering last Jan from 10mg valium. Had to hold one time for 3 months, then dropped 1mg every two weeks until 2mg  then held for 3 months.

 

After these last three month hold I started again when I was at 2mg  but this time I went down just 1/8 of mg. Figured I needed to slow way down. went down to 1.80 mg This was the first time I hit a wall. Not horrible or that bad, but I held for three weeks until I didn't have any wd. Then started tapering using a jewelers scale. A little for 5 days.  Going to hold this until I feel better then slow that down.

I can't do tiny daily tapers for more than five days apparently.

 

So far the times where I had to hold were fine. I evened out and did well. So that's where I'm at now. These last few mg are going to take a lot longer than the first 8mg. Sometimes it's discouraging how long it will take. But I tell myself as long as the numbers go down, even just a smidge, is what I should aim for.

 

It's just trial and error right now.

 

I'm glad there is so much help here

Welcome Moby to the LHSG yes the last can l say 3 mgs for me have been very trying and very frustrating to put it mildly.l am on .5 mgs and it has been a struggle to get to this point however l am getting there.l really don't care how long it takes l will get off when the time is right and in the meantime my brain is healing so less to do when l am off.l am glad holds work for you so do what you have to do.You will get there in the end.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Hi everyone. I haven't posted in here before but I have a question for you all. I'm in a precarious position at the moment. I'm doing a dry microtaper and was making progress until about a month ago when I hit .25 mg's Klonopin. I'm currently at about midway between .25 and .125 mg's and my symptoms have gotten truly unbearable to the point that if things don't calm down I'm going to have to go to a detox center as my parents cannot handle me being out of my mind all the time.

 

I know updosing is frowned upon but has anyone had success with a slight updose followed by a long hold? I've been holding my dose for the past 8 days which I realize is not very long but I literally was researching detox facilities all day with my parents. I'm so sensitized that I'm terrified to make that step but I can't tolerate these symptoms at home so I'm hoping to do a small updose to where I was 2 weeks ago so I can hold in a place that is at least not a constant crisis.

 

Has anyone done a slight updose to get some relief out of a crisis state followed by a long hold and then been able to handle their taper? Feel like all of the daily microcuts have really caught up to my nervous system.

Morning Jay l will say detox is never a good option in my opinion.If coming off this drug would end withdrawal l would have jumped off long ago.l know you and your family are desperate we have all been there however going to detox will make it worse.Now updosing works for some l can't comment on that as l have never updosed.lf l were you l would hold for as long as necessary.l know you don't want to hold however we do what we must.lt is hard holding as it isn't a quick fix and progress can be very slow however l think at this time it would be your best option.Love to you.X

[[St...]]

Good morning Esperanza where the hell have you been?l have been worried about you.lt is great to have you back honey.I have to say l don't think you did anything wrong in your taper.We are all doing the best we can and l don't think there is a right or wrong.Yeah l am nearly there still feel as though l have a mountain to climb however l will slide off when the time is right.Now how are you my lovely?Are you seeing the kids etc? How's your son in law? Lovely to see you back you have been missed.love you my hillbilly friend.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Troch l really hope you have less pain today.l think a walk definitely helps.Mary has given you good advice so perhaps you could consider her suggestions.l have no doubt you are having withdrawal symptoms which are causing the pain.Let us know how you are honey.love to you.X

Morning Trish l have been watching your back for around 2 years now and you are asking Espy for a security guard to carry your big ass 🤔😕.Are you saying l am not doing a good job 😡? Well l am happy to step back and l could maybe watch his back instead 😝.Rest honey you will get your mojo back.love you my lST X

Morning Lady Mary great advice to all.How are you? Have you used the enso yet? Please don't overdo the screen time and rest your peepers please.love you my lady Mary.X

Morning Suzy what does your therapist talk about?Can you change your therapist to someone who can do cbt?l don't really see her purpose from what you have said here.Have you asked her what she specialises in?let us know what you decide to do.love you.X

Good morning Olive has your cold lifted?Are you feeling much the same as usual?l hope you are feeling ok my love.love you.X

Morning Final it always hits and it always settles down given enough time.Hang in there honey.love you.X

Morning Janice l dare say we have one hell of a partay when l slide off this poison 🎉.l am still holding until hopefully this settles down a tad.l haven't put any target on this so it will happen when the time is right.Try to enjoy some of your day honey.love you.X

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Just got a phonecall from the specialist about last week 's CT-scan of my colon: ALL IS WELL. So glad I had a good result. A huge relief. Now I have to tell my anxious mind not to worry about that anymore: just let it go!

 

One down, one to go: next Monday the results of the Lyme's tests. But to be honest, I 'm much less worried about that.

 

Hope your day is symptom free. ( I know it probably won't be, but you must always keep hope, right?)

 

[[St...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Just got a phonecall from the specialist about last week 's CT-scan of my colon: ALL IS WELL. So glad I had a good result. A huge relief. Now I have to tell my anxious mind not to worry about that anymore: just let it go!

 

One down, one to go: next Monday the results of the Lyme's tests. But to be honest, I 'm much less worried about that.

 

Hope your day is symptom free. ( I know it probably won't be, but you must always keep hope, right?)

That is good news Troch hopefully the anxiety will lessen knowing that .l believe you will be all clear for Lyme as well.Try to enjoy some of your day.X

[[De...]]

Hi Stut,

Well with my sx. She says go.to the dr. Wich.is fine. I told her i did. Pretty sure its the benzos and i have to tell het again why and im tired of explaining why everytime.  I.gets old. It 8s like she gas no memory. She will say maybe.youe on the wtong meds did you ralk with the physch. I told her i did and she diesnt believe me and i dont want anymore meds. I feel bad becyz i am trying not to nake her feel bad. I try to stay away from sx. I asked if maybe i have depression and she just sits there. I tell her how i feel and she says maybe i can go to a group. I just wanted to know what ahe thoyght i was feeling and ahe says she will dig up things for me to read. I told her i need guidance.  Then before i left i sais i would like to accomplish ar least simerhung while im here. She basically just says to turn things around. Fine. But sometimes you have feelings you dont understand. She probably hates me. I hope this makes sense i just woke up. It is like she dismisses the benzo. I guess i fould be being stubborn. I tey to be respectful and listen to her advice. I try to ask for help with cbt. And she seems confused. Maybe i am just a jerk.

[[St...]]

Hi Stut,

Well with my sx. She says go.to the dr. Wich.is fine. I told her i did. Pretty sure its the benzos and i have to tell het again why and im tired of explaining why everytime.  I.gets old. It 8s like she gas no memory. She will say maybe.youe on the wtong meds did you ralk with the physch. I told her i did and she diesnt believe me and i dont want anymore meds. I feel bad becyz i am trying not to nake her feel bad. I try to stay away from sx. I asked if maybe i have depression and she just sits there. I tell her how i feel and she says maybe i can go to a group. I just wanted to know what ahe thoyght i was feeling and ahe says she will dig up things for me to read. I told her i need guidance.  Then before i left i sais i would like to accomplish ar least simerhung while im here. She basically just says to turn things around. Fine. But sometimes you have feelings you dont understand. She probably hates me. I hope this makes sense i just woke up. It is like she dismisses the benzo. I guess i fould be being stubborn. I tey to be respectful and listen to her advice. I try to ask for help with cbt. And she seems confused. Maybe i am just a jerk.

Listen honey you can not convince anyone this is withdrawal and really her job should be to give you tools which can work for anxiety etc.l don't really see what she is doing for you.Now if she can't do that what is she there for.l don't think she knows what she is doing.She probably thinks you are lovely because you are a lot nicer too her than most people would be.Think about another therapist honey and try not to let this get you down.X

[[Tr...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Troch l really hope you have less pain today.l think a walk definitely helps.Mary has given you good advice so perhaps you could consider her suggestions.l have no doubt you are having withdrawal symptoms which are causing the pain.Let us know how you are honey.love to you.X

Morning Trish l have been watching your back for around 2 years now and you are asking Espy for a security guard to carry your big ass 🤔😕.Are you saying l am not doing a good job 😡? Well l am happy to step back and l could maybe watch his back instead 😝.Rest honey you will get your mojo back.love you my lST X

Morning Lady Mary great advice to all.How are you? Have you used the enso yet? Please don't overdo the screen time and rest your peepers please.love you my lady Mary.X

Morning Suzy what does your therapist talk about?Can you change your therapist to someone who can do cbt?l don't really see her purpose from what you have said here.Have you asked her what she specialises in?let us know what you decide to do.love you.X

Good morning Olive has your cold lifted?Are you feeling much the same as usual?l hope you are feeling ok my love.love you.X

Morning Final it always hits and it always settles down given enough time.Hang in there honey.love you.X

Morning Janice l dare say we have one hell of a partay when l slide off this poison 🎉.l am still holding until hopefully this settles down a tad.l haven't put any target on this so it will happen when the time is right.Try to enjoy some of your day honey.love you.X

Oh twinny you know you're first and foremost with me 😁.. you are way too tiny to carry the " Trishy trunk" it's a man's job at this point believe me 🙄

You better be around for another two more years to lady bc I'm gonna need you! It's going to take me that long or possibly longer to get all the way off. I'm on the 5 yr plan I think 😔

Hope you have a great day, it's sunny here today, yay!

Love you much!

LST ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Morning Suzy,

I read what you posted to Stut and I couldn't help but wonder if you could bring this up with your psychiatrist. Can you tell him you'd really like another therapist that you don't think she's the right fit for you. Tell him you'd like to continue with him but she's just awful in your opinion and let him know she is of no help to you at all. Just make sure to let him know that you want to stay in therapy but you need someone who you can establish a rapport with. Tell him the truth that this woman is distant and never seems to want to help you work out your issues.

Just my opinion my friend but I think this woman has got to go!

Love ya,

TT ♥️

[[Ma...]]

My Queen, my Queen......so good to see you posting, at least every few days we need a dose of Stut

reasonableness, with a touch of humor.  You mean so much to all of us.  How is daughter's testing progressing?  Hope Auntie and Sis are doing better.  I am still pretty good, so not complaining.  Only used the enso once so far.  I think the one thing it will really be good for, is when I need to get out for longer periods.  It's thin, works from app on my phone, so I can wear under my clothes.  It will give me more options to run around and not have to worry about being in bad shape in a couple hours. 

Freedom . Hope all the babies are well, love and kisses to them.  Always hoping your symptom ease off.  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary Hen X. 💜💜🌿🌿

[[De...]]

Thank you Stut . I really think i need to start looking for another. I migjt just say i need to come in once a month. I dont think i can find a therapist who would understand this. I will look anyway. Ly dd

 

Thanks tt,

My psych is meh.  U just play along to get my meds. U dont want to hirt my therapist ferlings. She is nice but just odd to me. I am agraid if i.leave that place i wont be able to get benzos. Alot of drs do not.prescibe them. That hapoened to me and i was cut of a few yrs ago and finally put back.on. That is my biggest fear. I think i get more helo here on bb. Just talking with yoy guys and supportive understanding ppl. I dont even know if i like therapy anymore. I think the mental health field is really crappy . Matbe it is because if this whole thing with the benzos. I syppose thwre are some good ones out there. I am so messed up from this its embarrasing. Plus i always had an anxiety problem since i was in jr high. I am so damaged. Sorry i am rambling this morning. I hope yoy are feeling less stressed and you sx are not ro much. Ly df

[[Ma...]]

Thank you Stut . I really think i need to start looking for another. I migjt just say i need to come in once a month. I dont think i can find a therapist who would understand this. I will look anyway. Ly dd

 

Thanks tt,

My psych is meh.  U just play along to get my meds. U dont want to hirt my therapist ferlings. She is nice but just odd to me. I am agraid if i.leave that place i wont be able to get benzos. Alot of drs do not.prescibe them. That hapoened to me and i was cut of a few yrs ago and finally put back.on. That is my biggest fear. I think i get more helo here on bb. Just talking with yoy guys and supportive understanding ppl. I dont even know if i like therapy anymore. I think the mental health field is really crappy . Matbe it is because if this whole thing with the benzos. I syppose thwre are some good ones out there. I am so messed up from this its embarrasing. Plus i always had an anxiety problem since i was in jr high. I am so damaged. Sorry i am rambling this morning. I hope yoy are feeling less stressed and you sx are not ro much. Ly df

 

DD, you are not damaged.  Please don't say that, I think the world of you and it hurts me to hear you say that.  You are struggling with meds and have always been anxious.  You have a lot of determination and you are going to make it out of this .  That's one reason, I wish your therapist was teaching you how to handle anxiety.  That's what you need from her and she should realize it.  Working with the enso, a little disappointed in the cycle but haven't learned everything yet too, so maybe it will get better.  Think it will be good for being out longer, which is still a big thing.

I have a cheaper one, with remote that the cycles are really different.  One of the cycles is like heaven.  The only problem with it, is it is thick, so you have to wear like a size bigger in your jeans to make room for it.    It's an Aleve tens unit, much less expensive. 

I love you DD, MM. 💜💜💜

 

 

 

[[St...]]

My Queen, my Queen......so good to see you posting, at least every few days we need a dose of Stut

reasonableness, with a touch of humor.  You mean so much to all of us.  How is daughter's testing progressing?  Hope Auntie and Sis are doing better.  I am still pretty good, so not complaining.  Only used the enso once so far.  I think the one thing it will really be good for, is when I need to get out for longer periods.  It's thin, works from app on my phone, so I can wear under my clothes.  It will give me more options to run around and not have to worry about being in bad shape in a couple hours. 

Freedom . Hope all the babies are well, love and kisses to them.  Always hoping your symptom ease off.  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary Hen X. 💜💜🌿🌿

Morning Hen could you post something like that to my family 😂. They don't appreciate me enough 😵.Awe honey that is good news it will definitely help you a lot.My girl has passed woohoo that's one more done.l am now trying to gear myself up to go into see Sis 😕.We will go out for a nice meal hopefully after the exams are over or maybe a lovely spa day 😉.

Glad to hear you aren't as bad as you were you deserve to get a break.l think given enough time honey you will be back to almost normal.

. How's the virtual Sly doing?😳 Not much of a monarch it has to be said 😏.X

[[Ma...]]

My Queen, my Queen......so good to see you posting, at least every few days we need a dose of Stut

reasonableness, with a touch of humor.  You mean so much to all of us.  How is daughter's testing progressing?  Hope Auntie and Sis are doing better.  I am still pretty good, so not complaining.  Only used the enso once so far.  I think the one thing it will really be good for, is when I need to get out for longer periods.  It's thin, works from app on my phone, so I can wear under my clothes.  It will give me more options to run around and not have to worry about being in bad shape in a couple hours. 

Freedom . Hope all the babies are well, love and kisses to them.  Always hoping your symptom ease off.  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary Hen X. 💜💜🌿🌿

Morning Hen

could you post something like that to my family 😂. They don't appreciate me enough 😵.Awe honey that is good news it will definitely help you a lot.My girl has passed woohoo that's one more done.l am now trying to gear myself up to go into see Sis 😕.We will go out for a nice meal hopefully after the exams are over or maybe a lovely spa day 😉.

Glad to hear you aren't as bad as you were you deserve to get a break.l think given enough time honey you will be back to almost normal.

. How's the virtual Sly doing?😳 Not much of a monarch it has to be said 😏.X

 

The virtual Sly is hanging off the Kings a$$, biting for all he's worth.  :laugh:

[[St...]]

My Queen, my Queen......so good to see you posting, at least every few days we need a dose of Stut

reasonableness, with a touch of humor.  You mean so much to all of us.  How is daughter's testing progressing?  Hope Auntie and Sis are doing better.  I am still pretty good, so not complaining.  Only used the enso once so far.  I think the one thing it will really be good for, is when I need to get out for longer periods.  It's thin, works from app on my phone, so I can wear under my clothes.  It will give me more options to run around and not have to worry about being in bad shape in a couple hours. 

Freedom . Hope all the babies are well, love and kisses to them.  Always hoping your symptom ease off.  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary Hen X. 💜💜🌿🌿

Morning Hen

could you post something like that to my family 😂. They don't appreciate me enough 😵.Awe honey that is good news it will definitely help you a lot.My girl has passed woohoo that's one more done.l am now trying to gear myself up to go into see Sis 😕.We will go out for a nice meal hopefully after the exams are over or maybe a lovely spa day 😉.

Glad to hear you aren't as bad as you were you deserve to get a break.l think given enough time honey you will be back to almost normal.

. How's the virtual Sly doing?😳 Not much of a monarch it has to be said 😏.X

 

The virtual Sly is hanging off the Kings a$$, biting for all he's worth.  :laugh:

😂😂😂 Brilliant tell Sly to dig deep 😂😂.He deserves it the dick 😡.l hope he doesn't wander out of the village or you and me are for the rack 😳.

[[Ma...]]

My Queen, my Queen......so good to see you posting, at least every few days we need a dose of Stut

reasonableness, with a touch of humor.  You mean so much to all of us.  How is daughter's testing progressing?  Hope Auntie and Sis are doing better.  I am still pretty good, so not complaining.  Only used the enso once so far.  I think the one thing it will really be good for, is when I need to get out for longer periods.  It's thin, works from app on my phone, so I can wear under my clothes.  It will give me more options to run around and not have to worry about being in bad shape in a couple hours. 

Freedom . Hope all the babies are well, love and kisses to them.  Always hoping your symptom ease off.  Love you my Queen, Lady Mary Hen X. 💜💜🌿🌿

Morning Hen

could you post something like that to my family 😂. They don't appreciate me enough 😵.Awe honey that is good news it will definitely help you a lot.My girl has passed woohoo that's one more done.l am now trying to gear myself up to go into see Sis 😕.We will go out for a nice meal hopefully after the exams are over or maybe a lovely spa day 😉.

Glad to hear you aren't as bad as you were you deserve to get a break.l think given enough time honey you will be back to almost normal.

. How's the virtual Sly doing?😳 Not much of a monarch it has to be said 😏.X

 

The virtual Sly is hanging off the Kings a$$, biting for all he's worth.  :laugh:

😂😂😂 Brilliant tell Sly to dig deep 😂😂.He deserves it the dick 😡.l hope he doesn't wander out of the village or you and me are for the rack 😳.

 

Ahh, we are use to the rack, he is going to have to do bettter, hmmm, maybe that isn't a good idea.

[[va...]]

Girls and boys, I don't have time to write and I hate the autocorrect but I have fun reading you.

 

Dehytq you're the strongest of all of us here. You will stabilize in time and then you will taper again but it'll take a long time and that is OK 😊. There are good and bad professionals. It's amazing that you're scared of hurting her feelings. I care about your feelings not hers.

 

Hi Stutt, Mary, trotsch and everyone.

 

Mary has the muscle stuff EVER improved with a long hold? My mental symptoms seem to ease up some days, but the muscle pain is relentless, though I know I can't complain as I can walk quite a lot.

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Troch l really hope you have less pain today.l think a walk definitely helps.Mary has given you good advice so perhaps you could consider her suggestions.l have no doubt you are having withdrawal symptoms which are causing the pain.Let us know how you are honey.love to you.X

Morning Trish l have been watching your back for around 2 years now and you are asking Espy for a security guard to carry your big ass 🤔😕.Are you saying l am not doing a good job 😡? Well l am happy to step back and l could maybe watch his back instead 😝.Rest honey you will get your mojo back.love you my lST X

Morning Lady Mary great advice to all.How are you? Have you used the enso yet? Please don't overdo the screen time and rest your peepers please.love you my lady Mary.X

Morning Suzy what does your therapist talk about?Can you change your therapist to someone who can do cbt?l don't really see her purpose from what you have said here.Have you asked her what she specialises in?let us know what you decide to do.love you.X

Good morning Olive has your cold lifted?Are you feeling much the same as usual?l hope you are feeling ok my love.love you.X

Morning Final it always hits and it always settles down given enough time.Hang in there honey.love you.X

Morning Janice l dare say we have one hell of a partay when l slide off this poison 🎉.l am still holding until hopefully this settles down a tad.l haven't put any target on this so it will happen when the time is right.Try to enjoy some of your day honey.love you.X

Oh twinny you know you're first and foremost with me 😁.. you are way too tiny to carry the " Trishy trunk" it's a man's job at this point believe me 🙄

You better be around for another two more years to lady bc I'm gonna need you! It's going to take me that long or possibly longer to get all the way off. I'm on the 5 yr plan I think 😔

Hope you have a great day, it's sunny here today, yay!

Love you much!

LST ❤️

Awe twiny noooo.My contract is up soon so the clock is ticking 🤔😕.Oh no doubt l will be here you and l have still my wedding to plan.l am not getting any younger so let's get this sorted.You enjoy your day my lovely.love you my lST X

[[St...]]

Girls and boys, I don't have time to write and I hate the autocorrect but I have fun reading you.

 

Dehytq you're the strongest of all of us here. You will stabilize in time and then you will taper again but it'll take a long time and that is OK 😊. There are good and bad professionals. It's amazing that you're scared of hurting her feelings. I care about your feelings not hers.

 

Hi Stutt, Mary, trotsch and everyone.

 

Mary has the muscle stuff EVER improved with a long hold? My mental symptoms seem to ease up some days, but the muscle pain is relentless, though I know I can't complain as I can walk quite a lot.

Hi Janice l will bump this up so old benzo brain Mary doesn't miss it 😵.X

[[Ma...]]

Girls and boys, I don't have time to write and I hate the autocorrect but I have fun reading you.

 

Dehytq you're the strongest of all of us here. You will stabilize in time and then you will taper again but it'll take a long time and that is OK 😊. There are good and bad professionals. It's amazing that you're scared of hurting her feelings. I care about your feelings not hers.

 

Hi Stutt, Mary, trotsch and everyone.

 

Mary has the muscle stuff EVER improved with a long hold? My mental symptoms seem to ease up some days, but the muscle pain is relentless, though I know I can't complain as I can walk quite a lot.

 

Until I had the window in February, it was always rough.  Then the window, and I barely noticed it.

But when the window left, back to bad, now once or twice, counting now, I have the pain, but it's much more tolerable.  I think I am pretty stable right now from the slow crossover to the Liquid Diazapam and now holding, since my Dr said she doesn't care how long it takes, may hold through February, give myself time.  I also have a bil that usually visits around that time, that I haven't seen in over 2 years now because of the pain and I really need to see him.  So, my pain does fluctuate, but only when I am pretty stable, rest of time, hurts bad.  I hope you get some relief soon.  It really does suck.  LY.  💜💜

 

[[va...]]

OK Mary I hope you get better with this long hold then. I'm not cutting till at least April, but I'm more inclined to think it'll be after next summer. I'll let you all know if the pain improves with that.

[[Tr...]]

Thank you Stut . I really think i need to start looking for another. I migjt just say i need to come in once a month. I dont think i can find a therapist who would understand this. I will look anyway. Ly dd

 

Thanks tt,

My psych is meh.  U just play along to get my meds. U dont want to hirt my therapist ferlings. She is nice but just odd to me. I am agraid if i.leave that place i wont be able to get benzos. Alot of drs do not.prescibe them. That hapoened to me and i was cut of a few yrs ago and finally put back.on. That is my biggest fear. I think i get more helo here on bb. Just talking with yoy guys and supportive understanding ppl. I dont even know if i like therapy anymore. I think the mental health field is really crappy . Matbe it is because if this whole thing with the benzos. I syppose thwre are some good ones out there. I am so messed up from this its embarrasing. Plus i always had an anxiety problem since i was in jr high. I am so damaged. Sorry i am rambling this morning. I hope yoy are feeling less stressed and you sx are not ro much. Ly df

No DD, you are just like the rest of us. You are perfectly normal. You are just feeling the affects of the taper and anxiety is always so much worse with that. I was so anxiety ridden my whole life but I've noticed it's come down quite a bit with the lower dose of x. When I was on 3 mgs of Xanax I was a total Trainwreck with anxiety and little did I know that the Xanax was causing it. The medication that was supposed to help was now causing the severe anxiety. Holds are hard and I hate that I have to stay put and wait it out but there's no other choice. It really sucks but it's what works. So please don't put yourself down you are doing the best you can with your circumstances, it's all any of us can do. I have been off the wall crazy with anxiety when wd gets the better of me. You know these benzo's have a lag time. You go along tapering doing ok and then a few months go by and the hammer comes down on your head! It's happened to me twice already while tapering down which is why I'm cutting less and putting more time in between those cuts. I cut in December and probably won't cut again until February. I'm having some pots like sxs that are mild and I want to keep it that way so I don't dare make a move until that's gone! So chin up my friend we are here for you and we suffer with you.

I hope your sxs give you a break today.. Maybe I'll bring back RIDDLE Tuesday :D that'll cheer you up just ask Mary how much it does for her! :2funny:

Love ya!

TT ♥️