The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ma...]]

Morning LHSG, hope you guys have a better day than yesterday.  It's sunny and nice here today but know a lot of the country is having terrible weather, please be careful if you are in one of those places.

Love you all , Mary 💜💜💜💜

[[Ol...]]

Hi guys, I’m feeling pretty bummed right now. I’ve been doing really well and last night I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack and I took a rescue dose. I didn’t even think twice about it, I just took it. I have taken them many times over the last 3 years but I was on a huge winning streak, I hadn’t taken one for 5 months and was feeling so good about it. 😞. I feel ok today just depressed that I broke my streak and sad that I had a panic attack, I feel like this is going to last forever. 😭😭 I never had them before benzo w/d. 😞

[[va...]]

Hi guys, I’m feeling pretty bummed right now. I’ve been doing really well and last night I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack and I took a rescue dose. I didn’t even think twice about it, I just took it. I have taken them many times over the last 3 years but I was on a huge winning streak, I hadn’t taken one for 5 months and was feeling so good about it. 😞. I feel ok today just depressed that I broke my streak and sad that I had a panic attack, I feel like this is going to last forever. 😭😭 I never had them before benzo w/d. 😞

 

Olive Kitty I'm so sorry this happened. Now don't you freak out. You've taken ONE rescue dose. It's going to be alright. Just hold on to your 0.5 mgs for a few months please. And then when you're totally stabilized on that you'll glide off with no difficulty. Don't you go cutting again after two good days, please. Remember, I'm following in your footsteps so you gotta get this right, and you will 

[[Ma...]]

OK, don't you feel guilty, the rescue dose is just another way to help you through this taper.  I am sorry you had a panic attack.  I'm with Vali, just hold.....you have been busy and enjoying life and it will all be back.  Just take your time.  We are all so glad you came back to us.  You are so good for our group, funny and full of life.  LY very much, Mary 💜💜

[[De...]]

Ok,

Its ok. I have had panic attacks my whole life. Just remember they cant hurt you. They pass and go away. I know the heart pounding, shaking, just ride them out.  Breath. They will stop. U know how scary they are. Dont feel guilty.  You will get through this. Ly Suzy

[[De...]]

Yrishy,

I agree with Stut and Mm. I hope you are feeling a.little better today.

 

Hey everyone, hope you are all ok. Its quiet today. Sunday seems to he quiet. Love to everyone ❤

 

Mm,

Enso coming!!!! Ahhhhhh It has been warm hete too. It has been like 70 for ywo dsys. I have the windows open. It is the best! I did fall asleep. I sleep to much. Ly dd

[[Ma...]]

Yrishy,

I agree with Stut and Mm. I hope you are feeling a.little better today.

 

Hey everyone, hope you are all ok. Its quiet today. Sunday seems to he quiet. Love to everyone ❤

 

Mm,

Enso coming!!!! Ahhhhhh It has been warm hete too. It has been like 70 for ywo dsys. I have the windows open. It is the best! I did fall asleep. I sleep to much. Ly dd

 

Enso will be here tomorrow!!  Yay.  So glad you got some sleep DD, I know things have been tough lately.  I kept telling myself when the Valium knocked me out all the time, sleep is good for my brain and whole body.  A good time to heal.  Then I would fall asleep again    LY girlfriend 💜💜💜

[[De...]]

Haha,

That is what i say too! Sometimes I just have to sleep. I cant believe the enso.is coming tomorrow!!yay! Mt mother is a clutz. She did say to tell you becareful with it. Ahe said sometimes she would forget it was on. She took a shower with it ans it fell in tbe toilet. Haha. So she had to.order replacement parts. So as you can imagine it took forever to.get the parts. Oh i really hope yoy like it. I think you will!

[[Ma...]]

Haha,

That is what i say too! Sometimes I just have to sleep. I cant believe the enso.is coming tomorrow!!yay! Mt mother is a clutz. She did say to tell you becareful with it. Ahe said sometimes she would forget it was on. She took a shower with it ans it fell in tbe toilet. Haha. So she had to.order replacement parts. So as you can imagine it took forever to.get the parts. Oh i really hope yoy like it. I think you will!

 

:2funny:    Thanks for the warning!  That's great though, that it is that comfortable.  I will have to be careful, comfortable and benzo brain are a bad combination, lol. 

[[De...]]

Ahaaa   

[[Ol...]]

Thanks VNM, Mary, and Suzy. It is helpful to hear these things. It’s so hard when we beat ourselves up. I know panic attacks won’t hurt me but it’s just so scary, and it hurts my healing because then I worry it’s going to happen again and the fear creeps back in. Anyway, ok day today I just spent it on the couch watching shows. And obsessing about the panic attack and worrying that it will happen again. Well, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Nighty night all. 🌙🐏💗

[[Ol...]]

Trishy, I’m so sorry you are having a hard time with the kittens. I do think they are more resilient than you think, and don’t need as much care as you are giving them. Of course if you were in your best state you would want to be the overachiever cat mom, but I do think they would be just fine if you let them play with each other and just feed them once or twice a day. I usually feed my cat wet food once a day and leave their bowl full of dry kibble so they can graze as needed. Cats are usually pretty good at self regulating.

[[va...]]

Good morning everyone.

 

Olive kitty, Suzy, me... I find this thread can be quite useful. It has good tips for panic attacks.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=234964.0

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Hope your weekend was OK.

Mine was awful, last night I even had inner vibrations again after waking up in an anxious state. Hadn't had those for months.

Lots of muscle pain these last few days, rain all day long, so no walks, just agony.

Hopefully things will improve after I have the results of my Lyme's and colon tests this week. Praying for good results.

 

Take care.

[[va...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Hope your weekend was OK.

Mine was awful, last night I even had inner vibrations again after waking up in an anxious state. Hadn't had those for months.

Lots of muscle pain these last few days, rain all day long, so no walks, just agony.

Hopefully things will improve after I have the results of my Lyme's and colon tests this week. Praying for good results.

 

Take care.

 

Trotschetter I'm praying you get good results too and I'm sure you will. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain and sleeping so badly. The inner vibrations scare me too. I think I get those more from lexapro withdrawals, maybe it's the valium, can't be sure. I hope you hold a little while until your symptoms subside. I also hope you get some relief from the pain as the day progresses.

[[St...]]

Morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Troch l am sorry to hear that perhaps you are feeling more anxiety waiting for the results?As you say maybe after you get the results things will ease off.l hope so.Please try to hang in there.lf you can go out for a short walk it could help a little.l hope your day improves.love to you.X

Morning Trish l am sorry you had an anxiety attack not pleasant l know but completely harmless.l think my love you are definitely pushing yourself too much.l know you want to be normal however we have to also accept that in withdrawal we must pace ourselves and listen to our bodies.lt is frustrating however it is important that we take good care of ourselves so we don't burn out.You are doing well honey but to prevent this happening you also need to learn to relax and don't overstretch yourself.love you my lST X

Morning Lady Mary, Suzy, Janice Olive Gilly Bill Free Valley Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Final Intend and everyone here sending you my love and hoping everyone has a withdrawal free day.X

[[Tr...]]

Good morning everyone,

I surrendered the kitties yesterday. I woke up and new in my heart that it was the right thing to do. I couldn't relax and enjoy them. I know it wasn't my fault it was the fault of a broken nervous system. I loved them enough to let them go to where they could get the right home for them. When I brought them back to the humane society where I adopted them I was able to speak to the president of the humane society. We talked for an hour, she was wonderful and completely understood when I told her that they were just too much energy for me at the present time. She actually thanked me for taking such good care of them and wanted me to consider being a foster mom for them. I was flattered but turned down the offer. She also suggested that maybe I think about adopting and older cat.. I'm thinking about that but I probably won't. I will think about pets when I am off this drug. This was a learning experience for me at just how fragile my nervous system is. Also you guys I can't care for an animal other than the way I was caring for those kitties. I'm type A personality.. It's who I am. Mikayla also had nap times when she was a puppy and a feeding schedule and a routine and she was a happy dog. So if I don't have it in me to give the care that I think they need then I'm not going to do it. It would only make me miserable and I would beat myself up for not caring for them the way that I think they should. The kitties adjusted so quickly to the routine but their level of energy was too much for me. Luna was in the curtains, behind the fireplace, on the side of the fridge, in the bath tub.. And I can go on and on. She was a very curious kitten with high energy and Eli followed whatever she did. So when they were awake and allowed to roam they were in constant trouble and I worried obsessively about them and shook from the inside out. I don't feel sad about letting them go bc I know I did the right thing for them. The woman assured me that she would get them a good home. During our conversation she admitted to being just like me when it comes to taking care of pets. So that made me feel even better about surrendering them knowing that they will not just go to anyone. Also the way that I was investigated to get these kitties also tells me that they don't just hand them out, thank God! It was not the right time for me to have them and that's ok.. The right time will come and God will put the pet/pets in my path. You all know I have faith in God and I truly believe he will do that when the time comes. My daughter was the one who really wanted me to have these kittens, she felt that Rich and I have been too lonely in the house without Mikayla these past 6 months and that's how the idea of adopting came up. When we decided to go through with it I should have given more thought to my mental state and how fragile I've become with handling any type of stress. Kitties are stressful under the best of circumstances, never mind someone in my situation trying to care for them. Again though I do try to live as normal a life as possible but there are just some things I can't do and I have to accept that. So for right now I won't be adopting any pets but there is a hope that one day in the future it will again be possible but I'll leave that up to God.

 

Thank you to all of you, twinny, Mary, DD, Olive Kitty, meems and anyone else, forgive me please if I forgot to mention your name, who gave me support when I came looking for it.  Don't be sad about the kitties they're going to go to a family that can love and care for them the way they deserve. I really do trust God for that.

 

I love you all, you really are a great bunch of women!

 

Trishy, 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[[va...]]

Trishy I totally understand that you took them back. They're very young so they have many many chances of being adopted. My two cats died last summer so I didn't want to give advice as it's too painful for me. I do think an older cat is a good idea. Once they're spayed and older they are much calmer. I've had quite a few cats in my life. One thing to keep in mind is that there's always going to be some casualties in furniture. My sofas are a mess. If you still decide to get a cat, get an older one. Don't beat yourself up and don't you think you're not suited to be a cat mom. You just need an older one and only if you feel like it. I think the kitties would have been ok with you but you think they need more than they really need and then the house is going to be a mess for a while. Those tiger stripe ones are very energetic, I don't know how you call them in English. The orange ones are usually calmer according to a vet I know. No scientific evidence though. Do not beat yourself up. Benzo withdrawal is terrible. They'll be ok.

[[Tr...]]

Thank you Valiumnomore and Stut,

 

Today is a better day,  thankfully.  Still in pain, but less than yesterday. My feet hurt when walking or standing, so it's not a nice thing to do, but I will this afternoon. I will get the Lyme's tests result next Monday.

The anxiety is always worst after I wake up and leaves pretty quickly after I get up and start the day.

My former neurologist told me anxiety comes in the night. In my case he was right.

 

Wishing us all a better day! 

[[va...]]

Stutt good afternoon to you too. I hope you're doing ok and stabilizing from your last cut. You're so close to the end it's so damn exciting. It's a real pitty I can't drink because the day you came off I would drink a whole bottle of champaign  toasting to you. But I know this is out of the question and anyway my lack of moderation in drinking is not ladylike. "Thanks" to bwd, I have finally quit to have any alcohol whatsoever for the first time since childhood. I wasn't an alcoholic according to my therapist, but I self medicated with it far too often. Now I'm terrified of the stuff so when you come off the valium I'll celebrate with tonic water. I'm watching youtube videos on psychology and stuff, and it seems that when you have an addiction, any addiction, you can't benefit from therapy and can't mature as a human being. So now that I forcefully had to eliminate relaxing beers from my diet, I must be maturing like crazy. I wish I could at least smoke a cigarette to have something to look forward to every day, but I'm terrified of that too. But I digress. I hope your life is less stressful and that you can glide off in the following months, and I now you will.

[[Ma...]]

Trishy, I am so sorry, I know that was a hard thing to do.  Try not to dwell on it now .  We are all here for you.  Love you, Many M's.... :smitten:

[[es...]]

I am popping in to wish all my besties a Happy New Year and touch base. First of all, Trishy, I am always in awe of your kind heart and amazing courage. That was a hard thing to do, but you did the right thing for the kittens and for yourself. I had to give us so many things that I truly wanted to do for others, just to survive this nightmare myself. Stut, I have been thinking about you. Almost there! Well done, my friend! I am six+ months off my k and feeling a bit better. Far from a success story, but I have seen slow progress. For those of you who don’t know me, I did just about everything wrong in my taper, I used the drug long term, I am old, I don’t follow a restrictive diet, and probably should have had the roof fall in on me after jumping. But nothin dramatic happened. I just stayed the same for over five months. Which was not very good, but survivable. I have had a few periods of being about 75% normal recently, though. Some sxs have dropped off entirely since month three. So, if anyone is worried about something they think they did that will lead to never healing, maybe knowing I did it too will help. Love to all, Espy

[[De...]]

Sorry tt,

I know it was a hard thing to do. We are here for you. Ly dd

[[De...]]

Hi Stut,

I hope you and the family are well. I know i do this every appt. It a wasting my time. I am so glad you are almost done with your taper. Hoping your sx are not to bad. Love Suzy

[[De...]]

Hi k,

Did the enso come!! I cant wait. Let me know when you get it up and running. My.mother puts hets on full blast..lol ly dd