The Long Hold Support Group

[[De...]]

:thumbsup:b

[[Ol...]]

Hi Troch, sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. I worry about cancer all the time, I have a big family history. But all we can do is try to eat well and get checked regularly, right?

 

I did sleep well, thank you! I didn’t go to bed until around 1am but I slept in until 10:45am... amazing! Love to all of you 🥰

[[De...]]

Sounds like my sleep schedule olivek!! Hope you are feeling

Ok.  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Hi Troch, sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. I worry about cancer all the time, I have a big family history. But all we can do is try to eat well and get checked regularly, right?

 

I did sleep well, thank you! I didn’t go to bed until around 1am but I slept in until 10:45am... amazing! Love to all of you 🥰

 

Hope you are getting rid of that cold OK, thinking about you, Mary 💜💜💜

[[va...]]

Good night to all the catastrophizers here from a fellow catastrophizer. Everything more or less the same here. Same old same old. Working on coping skills, etc. Nothing new under the sun.

[[Ol...]]

Thanks Suzy and Mary, I am feeling much better. Still blowing my nose several times a day but mostly better. And I had a big win yesterday! So I was on a walk (a win in itself) and I passed by a huge loud woodchipper. When I was having bad anxiety, big machinery like garbage trucks, tractors, etc gave me awful anxiety and I avoided being around them at all costs. Yesterday I  just breezed by that woodchipper no problem!

 

[[Me...]]

Hello fellow warriors! I hope each and everyone is doing good. Want to check in and typing from my phone the font is so small and Benzo blurry eyes.  Argh.  Today finally feeling a little better from my cut crisis last week.  Definitely, after this new gold, going to do daily micro taper.  I guess we all learn what works for us on this journey.  I am having the obsessive “hurry up and be done” thoughts.  That’s cool, whatever.  But trying to accept that I’m exactly where I am - and right now it’s like this.

 

I’m up for watching  a movie.  Anyone got any good suggestions?  I just watched the Two Popes two weeks ago and really enjoyed it

 

~meems

[[Ma...]]

Hello fellow warriors! I hope each and everyone is doing good. Want to check in and typing from my phone the font is so small and Benzo blurry eyes.  Argh.  Today finally feeling a little better from my cut crisis last week.  Definitely, after this new gold, going to do daily micro taper.  I guess we all learn what works for us on this journey.  I am having the obsessive “hurry up and be done” thoughts.  That’s cool, whatever.  But trying to accept that I’m exactly where I am - and right now it’s like this.

 

I’m up for watching  a movie.  Anyone got any good suggestions?  I just watched the Two Popes two weeks ago and really enjoyed it

 

~meems

 

I haven't seen a really good movie in a while Meems.  I have seen some good streaming series, interested in those? 

[[Tr...]]

Hello everyone,

Just want to say that I have two months worth of pills that I've stored up. I needed a new bottle today bci finished my last bottle so I went in my dresser where I keep them and took a bottle out and opened it up to see round pills!! My pills are football shaped.. I thought I was given the wrong medication so I looked carefully at the label on the bottle and saw it was made by ACTAVIS/TEVA!! This has never happened to me before. I have no idea how I'll dry cut these. I think it'll be harder but I'll find out. I am hoping that I don't have any issues with strength bc it's ACTAVIS TEVA 🙏

 

Also, having a very difficult time with the kittens. I'm not sure this was the best thing for me. I may have taken on more than I can handle. I'm in tears today.. Ever since they came I've been exhausted and nervousness.. I know it's my taper and I thought how am I going to continue to taper and care for these animals. I honestly wish I never adopted them. It's not fair to them and that breaks my heart. I may surrender them back to the humane society where I got them from. They are a no kill so as much as I don't want too it might be what's best for them and me ☹️

 

TT, really F'ked up tonight 😢

[[Ma...]]

Hello everyone,

Just want to say that I have two months worth of pills that I've stored up. I needed a new bottle today bci finished my last bottle so I went in my dresser where I keep them and took a bottle out and opened it up to see round pills!! My pills are football shaped.. I thought I was given the wrong medication so I looked carefully at the label on the bottle and saw it was made by ACTAVIS/TEVA!! This has never happened to me before. I have no idea how I'll dry cut these. I think it'll be harder but I'll find out. I am hoping that I don't have any issues with strength bc it's ACTAVIS TEVA 🙏

 

Also, having a very difficult time with the kittens. I'm not sure this was the best thing for me. I may have taken on more than I can handle. I'm in tears today.. Ever since they came I've been exhausted and nervousness.. I know it's my taper and I thought how am I going to continue to taper and care for these animals. I honestly wish I never adopted them. It's not fair to them and that breaks my heart. I may surrender them back to the humane society where I got them from. They are a no kill so as much as I don't want too it might be what's best for them and me ☹️

 

TT, really F'ked up tonight 😢

 

Oh Trishy, are you sure?  You so looked forward to getting them.  It will break your heart.  I can't imagine a new pet right now.  We are very anxious underneath and when we are feeling ok, l don't think we realize it.  Do you know anyone who might take good care of one?  Maybe one wouldn't be too much.  Whatever you have to do, everyone will understand.  Love you girlfriend.  💜💜💜

[[Tr...]]

Hello everyone,

Just want to say that I have two months worth of pills that I've stored up. I needed a new bottle today bci finished my last bottle so I went in my dresser where I keep them and took a bottle out and opened it up to see round pills!! My pills are football shaped.. I thought I was given the wrong medication so I looked carefully at the label on the bottle and saw it was made by ACTAVIS/TEVA!! This has never happened to me before. I have no idea how I'll dry cut these. I think it'll be harder but I'll find out. I am hoping that I don't have any issues with strength bc it's ACTAVIS TEVA 🙏

 

Also, having a very difficult time with the kittens. I'm not sure this was the best thing for me. I may have taken on more than I can handle. I'm in tears today.. Ever since they came I've been exhausted and nervousness.. I know it's my taper and I thought how am I going to continue to taper and care for these animals. I honestly wish I never adopted them. It's not fair to them and that breaks my heart. I may surrender them back to the humane society where I got them from. They are a no kill so as much as I don't want too it might be what's best for them and me ☹️

 

TT, really F'ked up tonight 😢

 

Oh Trishy, are you sure?  You so looked forward to getting them.  It will break your heart.  I can't imagine a new pet right now.  We are very anxious underneath and when we are feeling ok, l don't think we realize it.  Do you know anyone who might take good care of one?  Maybe one wouldn't be too much.  Whatever you have to do, everyone will understand.  Love you girlfriend.  💜💜💜

You hit the nail on the head, anxious underneath that's what I am all the time.. It seems my nervous system is so sensitive since I began tapering. I was looking forward to getting them and they're adorable. I know that I'm not the best thing for them though. I'm sure they sense my nervousness. I don't want them separated they love eachother. Eli is very attached to his sister so I would be adamant that they stay together. Cats do better in pairs. My daughter in law said she'd take them but she's pregnant and I don't want that stress on her. I'm also getting the baby in October when she goes back to work after her maternity leave and I'm a wreck about that as well. Sometimes I think I want a normal life so badly that I push myself beyond what I can handle. I don't like that benzo wd steals my life from me so I try to do what I did before wd and it's hard.. Everything that was easy before is hard if that makes sense. I always feel like my nerves are fried and even too much stimulation like crowds or the movies or when I went to Disney on ice , although it was beautiful, was a bit much for me. Idk.. Everything is an uphill climb out seems even the things I love doing the most is a hit to my fragile nervous system. 

[[Ma...]]

Hello everyone,

Just want to say that I have two months worth of pills that I've stored up. I needed a new bottle today bci finished my last bottle so I went in my dresser where I keep them and took a bottle out and opened it up to see round pills!! My pills are football shaped.. I thought I was given the wrong medication so I looked carefully at the label on the bottle and saw it was made by ACTAVIS/TEVA!! This has never happened to me before. I have no idea how I'll dry cut these. I think it'll be harder but I'll find out. I am hoping that I don't have any issues with strength bc it's ACTAVIS TEVA 🙏

 

Also, having a very difficult time with the kittens. I'm not sure this was the best thing for me. I may have taken on more than I can handle. I'm in tears today.. Ever since they came I've been exhausted and nervousness.. I know it's my taper and I thought how am I going to continue to taper and care for these animals. I honestly wish I never adopted them. It's not fair to them and that breaks my heart. I may surrender them back to the humane society where I got them from. They are a no kill so as much as I don't want too it might be what's best for them and me ☹️

 

TT, really F'ked up tonight 😢

 

Oh Trishy, are you sure?  You so looked forward to getting them.  It will break your heart.  I can't imagine a new pet right now.  We are very anxious underneath and when we are feeling ok, l don't think we realize it.  Do you know anyone who might take good care of one?  Maybe one wouldn't be too much.  Whatever you have to do, everyone will understand.  Love you girlfriend.  💜💜💜

You hit the nail on the head, anxious underneath that's what I am all the time.. It seems my nervous system is so sensitive since I began tapering. I was looking forward to getting them and they're adorable. I know that I'm not the best thing for them though. I'm sure they sense my nervousness. I don't want them separated they love eachother. Eli is very attached to his sister so I would be adamant that they stay together. Cats do better in pairs. My daughter in law said she'd take them but she's pregnant and I don't want that stress on her. I'm also getting the baby in October when she goes back to work after her maternity leave and I'm a wreck about that as well. Sometimes I think I want a normal life so badly that I push myself beyond what I can handle. I don't like that benzo wd steals my life from me so I try to do what I did before wd and it's hard.. Everything that was easy before is hard if that makes sense. I always feel like my nerves are fried and even too much stimulation like crowds or the movies or when I went to Disney on ice , although it was beautiful, was a bit much for me. Idk.. Everything is an uphill climb out seems even the things I love doing the most is a hit to my fragile nervous system. 

 

I know I have days I feel well enough I really want a rescue dog, but just thinking about " will Sly do well, how much training will they need and all that stuff scares me right now, so as badly as I would like one, I know I am not ready.  It really sucks, I understand how nervous two little rambunctious kitties might make you.  .  I'm sorry. 

[[De...]]

Aww tt,

 

I know how you feel. I think of that all the time. I just want to live a normal life. This takes so long. I hate that are ner sxs are so fragile. Can anyone help out with the kittens. Maybe Dan can play with them at night. You are a good kitty mom. You do more for those kittens than most ppl do. I am the same way. Whatever you decide I understand. Maybe just have certain play times with them. They have eachother and will keep eachother company. Cats are pretty independent animals. Do what is best for you though. It will be ok. Ly dd 

[[Tr...]]

Hello everyone,

Just want to say that I have two months worth of pills that I've stored up. I needed a new bottle today bci finished my last bottle so I went in my dresser where I keep them and took a bottle out and opened it up to see round pills!! My pills are football shaped.. I thought I was given the wrong medication so I looked carefully at the label on the bottle and saw it was made by ACTAVIS/TEVA!! This has never happened to me before. I have no idea how I'll dry cut these. I think it'll be harder but I'll find out. I am hoping that I don't have any issues with strength bc it's ACTAVIS TEVA 🙏

 

Also, having a very difficult time with the kittens. I'm not sure this was the best thing for me. I may have taken on more than I can handle. I'm in tears today.. Ever since they came I've been exhausted and nervousness.. I know it's my taper and I thought how am I going to continue to taper and care for these animals. I honestly wish I never adopted them. It's not fair to them and that breaks my heart. I may surrender them back to the humane society where I got them from. They are a no kill so as much as I don't want too it might be what's best for them and me ☹️

 

TT, really F'ked up tonight 😢

 

Oh Trishy, are you sure?  You so looked forward to getting them.  It will break your heart.  I can't imagine a new pet right now.  We are very anxious underneath and when we are feeling ok, l don't think we realize it.  Do you know anyone who might take good care of one?  Maybe one wouldn't be too much.  Whatever you have to do, everyone will understand.  Love you girlfriend.  💜💜💜

You hit the nail on the head, anxious underneath that's what I am all the time.. It seems my nervous system is so sensitive since I began tapering. I was looking forward to getting them and they're adorable. I know that I'm not the best thing for them though. I'm sure they sense my nervousness. I don't want them separated they love eachother. Eli is very attached to his sister so I would be adamant that they stay together. Cats do better in pairs. My daughter in law said she'd take them but she's pregnant and I don't want that stress on her. I'm also getting the baby in October when she goes back to work after her maternity leave and I'm a wreck about that as well. Sometimes I think I want a normal life so badly that I push myself beyond what I can handle. I don't like that benzo wd steals my life from me so I try to do what I did before wd and it's hard.. Everything that was easy before is hard if that makes sense. I always feel like my nerves are fried and even too much stimulation like crowds or the movies or when I went to Disney on ice , although it was beautiful, was a bit much for me. Idk.. Everything is an uphill climb out seems even the things I love doing the most is a hit to my fragile nervous system. 

 

I know I have days I feel well enough I really want a rescue dog, but just thinking about " will Sly do well, how much training will they need and all that stuff scares me right now, so as badly as I would like one, I know I am not ready.  It really sucks, I understand how nervous two little rambunctious kitties might make you.  .  I'm sorry.

Thank you Mary I know you get it. You're doing the right thing by not taking on another. It's frustrating and sad that our lives are so altered by bwd. I try as hard as I can to live a normal life but I really need to start thinking hard about what I should and shouldn't take on. It does totally suck!

[[Tr...]]

Aww tt,

 

I know how you feel. I think of that all the time. I just want to live a normal life. This takes so long. I hate that are ner sxs are so fragile. Can anyone help out with the kittens. Maybe Dan can play with them at night. You are a good kitty mom. You do more for those kittens than most ppl do. I am the same way. Whatever you decide I understand. Maybe just have certain play times with them. They have eachother and will keep eachother company. Cats are pretty independent animals. Do what is best for you though. It will be ok. Ly dd 

Thank you Suzy you're so sweet. I do take excellent care of them but they're burning me out and everyday I battle my jitters through it. These kitties are on a schedule, they have routine and I'm terrified they won't get the same care that I give them with someone else 😭.. my heart is broken. I want them to have a happy life but I'm so stressed taking care of their needs.. I'm stubborn too I'll keep doing for them at my own expense..I mean where are they going to go where they have their own bedroom, fed 4 times a day like a kitten should be, two nap times and a bed time in their room? They've adjusted so well to this routine too 😢 Trying to keep this up for them everyday is so stressful and causes me so much nervous tension and I know it's the bwd. I've had animals all my life and took care of them without all this weird nervousness going on in my body.. I don't know the whole damn thing SUCKS!

[[De...]]

Oh tt,

Even when we aren't in bed kittens can frazzled us. It can't even imagine it now. I know your heart is broken. You love them so much. I wish I new a solution. I'm getting attached to them too. Well just calm down and when your in a better state of mind you can figure it out. You have been running around busy for months. The holidays and kids. Get a good night sleep and some rest. The kittens will be ok. You just relax ly dd

[[Tr...]]

Oh tt,

Even when we aren't in bed kittens can frazzled us. It can't even imagine it now. I know your heart is broken. You love them so much. I wish I new a solution. I'm getting attached to them too. Well just calm down and when your in a better state of mind you can figure it out. You have been running around busy for months. The holidays and kids. Get a good night sleep and some rest. The kittens will be ok. You just relax ly dd

You're right Suzy I have been ridiculously busy since October with no lull in the action.. Then the kittens came two days before Christmas and I've been super busy with them. I agree kitties are a handful but I've raised a kitten before, my Chloe, I fed her with an eye dropper. She was born to a feral mom and I took her from under a bush and I didn't feel the level of anxiety with her like I do these two little ones. So definitely bwd is playing a big part in this. Maybe, I'll feel differently in the morning. I love them so it will be hard to surrender them.. You're right though cats are independent and kitten phase doesn't last forever.. so maybe I can just fight through it.

 

Thank you for your advice and kind words, it means a lot. I love all of you here don't know where I would be without my friend's here at LHSG☹️

[[Tr...]]

Good night Mary, Suzy.. Thank you both so much I truly appreciate the friendship and support.

Love you guys,

Trish ♥️

[[De...]]

I know it definitely would be different now than with cloe. Maybe once you settle down. You been straight out for months. Your the most important. Sleep on it and enjoy your kitties. If they drive you nuts put them to bed. Love you!,

[[De...]]

Gnight tt 

[[Me...]]

Oh Trishy - reading your post just makes me want to cry.  Honey, this is so fucking hard and it sucks.  I wish I could help you with the kittens.  I can totally relate to you.  Bwd sucks so bad and it just makes me so sad that we have to deal with it and we are so fragile and vulnerable.  These drugs really have caused tremendous loss and pain.  I know you know you are not alone.  Be gentle with yourself.  I am sending you lots of love, big hug and light and love for continuing on this path of recovery as hard as it is.  It’s a (excuse my potty mouth) huge motherfucker.  But we are going to heal.  This WILL be behind you.  And we’re gonna get through it. 

Love you 😍

~meems

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better Sunday.l am only on for a quick post.l haven't caught up on everyone however l caught my twins post.l am surprised our cat buddies haven't said anything.

Morning Trish l don't want to see you having to give up your babies.l read your post twiny and l have to say one thing jumped out at me you are doing too much.You have to take a step back and let your little bundles of joy get on with it.Yes feed them four times a day however putting them down for naps etc is not necessary.Playing with them constantly isn't necessary either.l know you want what is best for them however they are cats and they don't need all your attention honey.l want you to enjoy the kittens not burn yourself out.They are natural explorers and they have a natural instinct for survival so let them get on with it.Change your behaviour sweetheart and enjoy the kittens.Think about it please.love you my lST X

Lady Mary,Suzy, Troch,Janice Olive Bill Gilly Intend Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Final and everyone here sending you my love hoping everyone has a withdrawal free day.

Love and hugs Stut X

[[Tr...]]

Thanks, Stut.

 

Glad to say I feel better than yesterday,  but still in quite a lot of pain. Can't figure out why. It is what it is. But it really sucks.

Hopefully your day is OK.

[[St...]]

Thanks, Stut.

 

Glad to say I feel better than yesterday,  but still in quite a lot of pain. Can't figure out why. It is what it is. But it really sucks.

Hopefully your day is OK.

Good news Troch.l really hope this is a good day for you.Now if there was a word l would ban it would be why.l know this is hard to accept but it is what it is.Withdrawal and recovery is not triggered by anything so searching for reasons is just frustrating and fruitless in my opinion.Stay strong my love you will find your way through this.X

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better Sunday.l am only on for a quick post.l haven't caught up on everyone however l caught my twins post.l am surprised our cat buddies haven't said anything.

Morning Trish l don't want to see you having to give up your babies.l read your post twiny and l have to say one thing jumped out at me you are doing too much.You have to take a step back and let your little bundles of joy get on with it.Yes feed them four times a day however putting them down for naps etc is not necessary.Playing with them constantly isn't necessary either.l know you want what is best for them however they are cats and they don't need all your attention honey.l want you to enjoy the kittens not burn yourself out.They are natural explorers and they have a natural instinct for survival so let them get on with it.Change your behaviour sweetheart and enjoy the kittens.Think about it please.love you my lST X

Lady Mary,Suzy, Troch,Janice Olive Bill Gilly Intend Valley Free Meems Esperanza NJ Nova Miyu Final and everyone here sending you my love hoping everyone has a withdrawal free day.

Love and hugs Stut X

 

Trishy, before I took them back, I would try Stut's way first.  I thought the reason you were waiting to get them was so all that feeding schedule and stuff was over.  Cats are pretty resilient and will pretty much take care of themselves.  Try letting go some, feed them a couple times a day, they will take a nap when ready.  Just think, most people couldn't have a kitty if they were on your schedule.  Try to relax about it.  I know you want yo be perfect cat mommy, but that perfect mommy is one that loves, feeds, and provides safety.  You can do that.  Rich can help with the love and playing.  I am afraid you will feel so guilty, give it a try.  We love you, that's why we care.  💜💜💜💜