The Long Hold Support Group

[[Mi...]]

Hey M1, welcome to Long Hold.  I was reading your signature and you sure were put on and taken off a lot of meds, that definitely could be playing a roll.

People usually consider a long Hold when they are suffering and just can't get their symptoms to stabilize.  Stabilization just means tolerable.  If the small cuts now are making you suffer, holding may be a good idea.  A hold is usually at least 3 months.  It gives your brain and central nervous system an opportunity to calm down.  Now during that time, you wil probably feel worse before feeling better.  Don't change any meds , hold everything right where you are.  Holding is hard because we want off these meds so badly but pushing through usually causes more issues and takes longer to heal than by taking time to hold.  You are more than welcome to hang out here, ask questions or just chat.  If we can help, please let us know.  Good luck !!  Mary 🍀

 

 

Thank u I also believe due to all the polydrugging it’s been very hard for me I was only polydrugged for 4 months but the damage was done I might just have to hold ty

[[Ma...]]

Hey M1, welcome to Long Hold.  I was reading your signature and you sure were put on and taken off a lot of meds, that definitely could be playing a roll.

People usually consider a long Hold when they are suffering and just can't get their symptoms to stabilize.  Stabilization just means tolerable.  If the small cuts now are making you suffer, holding may be a good idea.  A hold is usually at least 3 months.  It gives your brain and central nervous system an opportunity to calm down.  Now during that time, you wil probably feel worse before feeling better.  Don't change any meds , hold everything right where you are.  Holding is hard because we want off these meds so badly but pushing through usually causes more issues and takes longer to heal than by taking time to hold.  You are more than welcome to hang out here, ask questions or just chat.  If we can help, please let us know.  Good luck !!  Mary 🍀

 

 

Thank u I also believe due to all the polydrugging it’s been very hard for me I was only polydrugged for 4 months but the damage was done I might just have to hold ty

 

We are here if you need us 

[[Fi...]]

Troch, I'm so glad your procedure is over! And you handled it like a champ. It sounds like that pain was maybe gas from them inflating your bowel. What an ordeal! Glad it is over. I bet your results will be fine.

VNM you are a wonderful energy in this group.

Mary, welcome back!!!!!!!

 

Thank you Olive Kitty but the wds are killing me lately and I never see when I'll be able to taper and I'm terrified of holding too in case I'm ever hospitalized and yanked off which is a recurring fear I have so I don't think I'm a very positive energy at the moment. The psychiatrist used to love to talk to me and today in our monthly appointment he couldn't wait to see me out the door. I'm no longer buying into the positive talk BS. I'm becoming a bitter old woman. I only pretend when I have to of course which is with other people but (family, my dear daughter, work), but when I'm alone with myself or with the psych dr what's the point in pretending? I have to assume that I don't KNOW if I'll ever come off. I'm severely kindled, long term user and this sucks in general.

 

I hope everyone is having a better day and I hope I can come to cheer people up some day. Now I'm just a downer.

 

I hear you Vali.. have you ever heard of toxic positivity? It's a thing. Of course, it is always good to have a good outlook on things, but when things are really shitty the worst thing someone can say to you is, 'cheer up! If you have a good attitude, you can accomplish anything!' Or some bull@$%& like that. It is ok to own your hard feelings! The trick is trying not to let them get on anyone else. Here, it's fine. We are all here because we are suffering and looking for support and to help support. And anyone who doesn't want to be around suffering people should probly log out! You are very good at helping support people, and if you are not feeling well or feeling scared or whatever, it's totally fine to let that out.

I get the OCD fear thing. Mine is that I am going to be sick or someone around me is going to be sick. It's called emetophobia. It sucks! Your feelings are real, even though the probability that you are going to get C/t in the hospital is very rare, the fear of it is very real. I guess you could take measures such as stockpiling benzos and have some on your person at all times,  or something like that. I also remember you talking about having your Dr write a letter that you can carry around, did that happen? Another option is to write the letter yourself so if you were subconscious they might find it? Maybe something like that would help ease your mind a bit. Can anyone think of any other ideas?

 

I left a FB group over their insistence on what I views as "toxic positivity".  That kind of pressure, when our brains have been I nurse and highjacked is too much.  I get acknowledging the days when things are better but to  try and force ourselves to be positive, when we are scared or stressed is too much. 

 

I spoke with a nurse tech friend of mine about getting a medical I'd bracelet.  She said I could get one off of Amazon but I I have to do some research.  I'm going to put on it, no benzos, antidepressants or fluoroquinolone antibiotics.

 

VNM, maybe you can get something that states you cannot be taken off your Valium dosage?  Just a thought.

Final

[[Ol...]]

That is a great idea Final! Sorry about the fb group. I have a hard time with the one I am on.. I look at it every once in awhile but mostly I just ignore it, people are very strong in their opinions.

[[Up...]]

Hi all

Being holding 2mg diazepam for over a month now

2mg diazepam night time doser here

I am not doing good at all

Severe everything

 

Whats considered a long hold?

And do we stabalize with long holds

And what if the diazepam isn't helping anymore at all?

 

Thanks in advance.

 

 

[[Fi...]]

That is a great idea Final! Sorry about the fb group. I have a hard time with the one I am on.. I look at it every once in awhile but mostly I just ignore it, people are very strong in their opinions.

 

Yes, and I felt I was constantly being bombarded with articles about what was bad to eat, drink or think.  It was so triggering after awhile that I felt worse instead of better. 

[[Ol...]]

Hi UpHold,

I'm so sorry you are suffering, we have all been there. You found a great support group here. A long hold is anything longer that the normal 2 week cut and hold. Folks here are holding weeks, months, even years and seem to get good results. I was in your place and held at 2mg V for 1 year and a half, and symptoms drastically reduced enough for me to start tapering again this fall with relatively little symptoms.

The Diazepam may not be helping therapeutically but it is keeping you from going farther into acute w/d. I'm sure others here will chime in.

[[Ma...]]

Hey Uphold, Just imo, I would say a long Hold is at least 3 months or more, just depending on your symptoms.  You want to give your brain and central nervous system an opportunity to stabilize.  So you don't change anything, meds , doses etc; while you hold.  It helped a lot of people but usually you will feel worse before better.  Holding is hard because we all want off these meds so badly.  You are more than welcome to hang out here and ask questions or just talk.  We will be here to help.

Mary 💜💜💜

[[Up...]]

Hi OliveKitty Thank you

 

I'm freaking out

I tapered to fast

Got switched to(30mg diazepam) to taper from 15-20mg lorazepam months of daily use

Selfmedicating night time was when I took lozarepam daily(2018/8 months daily)

Then doctor give me 30mg diazepam to taper (december

(2018)

2019/2020

Plus taking/added 15mg of mirtazapine(November 2019)

Tapered to 2mg being holding for at least a month and a half

(November 2019)still holding

 

 

 

Tinnitus this is torture

Insomnia brutal

Depression severe

Fatigue

Flashbacks

Panicking

Fear

 

And so on

No joy no hope nothing

Nobody believes me what is doing to me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Up...]]

Hey Uphold, Just imo, I would say a long Hold is at least 3 months or more, just depending on your symptoms.  You want to give your brain and central nervous system an opportunity to stabilize.  So you don't change anything, meds , doses etc; while you hold.  It helped a lot of people but usually you will feel worse before better.  Holding is hard because we all want off these meds so badly.  You are more than welcome to hang out here and ask questions or just talk.  We will be here to help.

Mary 💜💜💜

 

Thank you marry

[[Ma...]]

We believe you UH.

 

Could you explain the Diazapam, how the Dr prescribed again, I didn't really understand.

[[Up...]]

We believe you UH.

 

Could you explain the Diazapam, how the Dr prescribed again, I didn't really understand.

 

Thank you marry

 

2018 December doctor switched me to 30mg diazepam

To taper lorazepam 15- 20mg daily use

 

Took diazepam 2× a day

Then at the start 2018(december)

And I began tapering almost immediately

2mg every 2 or 3 weeks

Because I was scared then and already kindled

(Sorry I lack comunication skills I am chaotic)

It's being torture ever since

A few months in my taper I developed tinnitus

 

Now I'm at 2mg diazepam

 

[[Ol...]]

We believe you UH.

 

Could you explain the Diazapam, how the Dr prescribed again, I didn't really understand.

 

Thank you marry

 

2018 December doctor switched me to 30mg diazepam

To taper lorazepam 15- 20mg daily use

 

Took diazepam 2× a day

Then at the start 2018(december)

And I began tapering almost immediately

2mg every 2 or 3 weeks

Because I was scared then and already kindled

(Sorry I lack comunication skills I am chaotic)

It's being torture ever since

A few months in my taper I developed tinnitus

 

Now I'm at 2mg diazepam

 

So it sounds like you tapered 28mgs of Valium in a year. That is a LOT! If I were you I would definitely consider a long hold. Will your Dr be ok with that?

 

[[Up...]]

@[Ol...]

 

Yes he would

Because I was at the doctor office today and he sad

I can take the diazepam for the rest of my life if I want to.

 

I have fallen hard.

 

 

The Tinnitus by it self is torture

I have mental symptoms

Mostly

 

Yes I can take it

[[va...]]

Uphold, when was your last cut? If your last cut is recent, I would consider a dose correction, which means going up a bit. If two weeks ago you were on 4 mgs, I would go back there, or even further back if your cuts have been big and recent. 1 MG cut is big. One month with diazepam is recent.

[[Ol...]]

@OliveKitty

 

Yes he would

Because I was at the doctor office today and he sad

I can take the diazepam for the rest of my life if I want to.

 

I have fallen hard.

 

 

The Tinnitus by it self is torture

I have mental symptoms

Mostly

 

Yes I can take it

 

Glad to hear that, at least you don't have to worry about that. If it were me I would hold until you stabilize, however long that takes.

[[Ol...]]

Uphold, when was your last cut? If your last cut is recent, I would consider a dose correction, which means going up a bit. If two weeks ago you were on 4 mgs, I would go back there, or even further back if your cuts have been big and recent. 1 MG cut is big. One month with diazepam is recent.

 

Yes, I agree with VNM.

[[Up...]]

VNM,O_K

 

My last cut was *2019* mid November aproximetly

 

I hear what you guys saying

 

But

 

I am already in benzo

Hell have being from the beginning of it all

Never stable I made 2mg cuts in the beginning and later on in taper 1mg cuts and I kept the 2x a day dose as steady as possible 10-12    8-10  6-8 till I got to about 3mg then I cut out the first dose. before I even thought of tapering the gates to BenzoHell where wide open for me. I think updosing

Is not going to help me it's going to put me right where I am now I think. Already got severe everything

Tinnitus is torture.

 

 

 

Maybe Long Hold till the end of Febraury atleast

Is that a good idea??.

 

I only dose at night 11pm

Take 2mg diazepam and 15mg mirtazapine.

2mg now is the longest I held/hold during taper

Almost 2 months now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[va...]]

Hi uphold. It's almost two months since your last cut. Things could still get more difficult before they start getting better. If you prefer to hold without the updose that's a perfect decision and I'm glad you're feeling strong enough to do it. Holding until February when you've cut so much in such a short time, would not be holding really. Here we usually hold three months or more. That's what we consider a long hold. You stay around and decide as the weeks go by if you want to hold a bit longer.

[[Up...]]

Thanks to all

Appreciate it

 

If hold till end of Febraury it will be close to 3 months

 

I'm sorry I can't be off much value in tips and advice

 

I'm only asking not giving that bothers me

 

My heart goes out to all of you

[[Ma...]]

VNM,O_K

 

My last cut was *2019* mid November aproximetly

 

I hear what you guys saying

 

But

 

I am already in benzo

Hell have being from the beginning of it all

Never stable I made 2mg cuts in the beginning and later on in taper 1mg cuts and I kept the 2x a day dose as steady as possible 10-12    8-10  6-8 till I got to about 3mg then I cut out the first dose. before I even thought of tapering the gates to BenzoHell where wide open for me. I think updosing

Is not going to help me it's going to put me right where I am now I think. Already got severe everything

Tinnitus is torture.

 

 

 

Maybe Long Hold till the end of Febraury atleast

Is that a good idea??.

 

I only dose at night 11pm

Take 2mg diazepam and 15mg mirtazapine.

2mg now is the longest I held/hold during taper

Almost 2 months now.

 

The best way to approach if you can UH, is how are you feeling, try not to put a time frame on it.  It's great your Dr is giving you all the time you need.  It's a symptom Hold/taper.  How are your symptoms?  Keeping a notebook or a progress log on bb(go to Homepage and scroll down until you see Progress Log, that is yours to keep information).    We can't promise it won't be hard but you can do it.  Please keep us updated on how you are  .  Mary

[[In...]]

Tomorrow if I can, I will air my thoughts.

 

I will complain about what’s going on with me. Mental confusion will have me completely tomorrow unfortunately.

[[Gu...]]

I had a blood test today to check my abnormal protein level.  They also did a CBC and several other tests.  One thing that was low was my sodium level.  I've had to be hospitalized before cuz it was dangerously low and they did a IV slow drip overnight.  Hyponatremia.  I'm not sure what is causing this but with the bad headaches, cough, dizziness.  I've had ice packs on my head all day as well as heat. The back of my sk6ll feels numb and achy.  I have to get yearly MRAs cuz I have a growth or hardening on my pituitary gland and they need to monitor so it doesn't get bigger.  I'm worried and tired of these endless problems.  Any advice

[[In...]]

I had a blood test today to check my abnormal protein level.  They also did a CBC and several other tests.  One thing that was low was my sodium level.  I've had to be hospitalized before cuz it was dangerously low and they did a IV slow drip overnight.  Hyponatremia.  I'm not sure what is causing this but with the bad headaches, cough, dizziness.  I've had ice packs on my head all day as well as heat. The back of my sk6ll feels numb and achy.  I have to get yearly MRAs cuz I have a growth or hardening on my pituitary gland and they need to monitor so it doesn't get bigger.  I'm worried and tired of these endless problems.  Any advice

 

GP,

 

I do hope that doctors are investigating all this and not just letting you “stew.” Whether these problems are separate from each other or connected, you deserve a true diagnosis of all this. I’d demand that.

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Janice yes Joy was correct patient consent is to the fore at this time.Doctors cannot override a patient's wishes  if they  are mentally competent.l know you worry honey however in my view it really is unfounded.Try to accept that.l know it is never easy.Stay strong.love you.X

. Morning GP what the hell is going on with you?I have to say you definitely are getting hit hard.What is your original diagnosis my love?l don't know your history so l must say l really can't help much.l really hope things ease of for you soon my love.love you.X

Morning Suzy are you ok pet?Are you lurking?l hope you have a better day.love you.X

Morning Troch woohoo that is good news.Today may not be as good however this is progress.l hope you enjoy your day.love to you.X

Morning Lady Mary I am so happy to see you here hen.lt feels great to have you back.Now don't overdo it.As for your doctor she knows you don't need to be pushed you have been doing this with no help from her and you will do what is best for you.Stay put and hold as long as you need to.love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning Trish have you been eaten by the lions?l hope your ok twiny? love you my lST X

. Morning Final how are you?l hope you are feeling a little better.love to you.X

Morning Intend l look forward to reading your posts.love to you and Dan.X

  Morning Olive how are you doing? Have you recovered from the festive season? love you.X

. Love and hugs Stut X