The Long Hold Support Group

[[St...]]

Hi LHSG people,

Generally, how long should you hold before making cuts on your taper? I was told 2-4 months is nothing unusual for Valium. I just want to know how long is too long to hold on your taper.

Dave. 

Morning Crow if l had the answer to that l could make a fortune on this site.Now if your withdrawal symptoms are manageable then you can make a cut.Stalbility doesn't mean withdrawal free it for me means it sucks less and l am somewhat functional.You are the only person that will know when you can make a cut.love to you.X

 

hello stut, you said that "Stalbility doesn't mean withdrawal free it for me means it sucks less and l am somewhat functional". I have been functional in all the process, but for a person -it is me- who have hold at a current dose for 3 or months, some sxs are alternating the other. Until before one month my sx blocking me going was palps for 1 month, before then anx. Now it has been turn of deb. anxiety with tight face-throat-upper chest muscles. In other words, being functional is not just enough for me by itself. Am i wrong? I am just waiting for it to soothe a little...

Hi June if you read again you will see l said for me.l know most people want more however my experience is that l have never been withdrawal free.Everyone is different.Now if you were stable before your taper you can stabilise better with a hold.l have been in tolerance for a long time so withdrawal symptoms have been with me long before l began my taper.Those withdrawal symptoms are not going to disappear as l am always going to be in tolerance.That doesn't mean your hold will be the same.Now it really stands to reason that the longer you hold the better you will feel and it does take some time before you begin to feel better.At the end of the day you are the only person who can decide if and when you want to resume your taper so hold as long as you need to.love to you.X

[[St...]]

Hi LHSG people,

Generally, how long should you hold before making cuts on your taper? I was told 2-4 months is nothing unusual for Valium. I just want to know how long is too long to hold on your taper.

Dave. 

Morning Crow if l had the answer to that l could make a fortune on this site.Now if your withdrawal symptoms are manageable then you can make a cut.Stalbility doesn't mean withdrawal free it for me means it sucks less and l am somewhat functional.You are the only person that will know when you can make a cut.love to you.X

Hi Stut,

Thanks for the quick reply!

 

I'm trying to taper off 5mg, but the lower I go, the worse I get.

 

I have attempted to taper twice, without too much success. I hope I'm not going to be a horror story 

 

I have had: horrendous DP/DR; seizure activity; pins and needles everywhere esp. in the feet; frozen limbs; nosebleeds; fatigue like nothing I've ever experienced; a horrid, dark, chemical depression; a massive spare tyre that won't go away; complete exercise intolerance; air hunger; exhaustion; anhedonia; pacing; excess gas; muscle loss (annoying considering I trained at the gym 4 days a week); and feeling like I'm going to blackout 24/7 amongst many other symptoms. It's horrid!

 

I'm holding for 2-4 months per cut, as per my benzo-wise counsellor's directions. She is pretty good, and the organisation called Reconnexion (in Victoria, South East Australia) is helping me, as well as the people on this site. The organisation follows the Ashton Protocol rigidly, so they are pretty clued-up on benzo withdrawal. I like their idea of tapering. They even know what a DLMT is!!!  Benzo Buddies and Reconnexion have honestly saved my life.

 

If I didn't find BB, I'm sure I would have done a Cold Turkey, without knowing what a Cold Turkey was, and had horrible symptoms which I would think is my "anxiety returning". Of course, we now know it's the benzo.

 

For the admins reading my message, I want to make it clear I'm not doctor bashing here - we do need our doctor's, and most quite simply are uninformed of our benzo withdrawal. It is true that the majority of patients can come off benzos without trouble. We are just the unfortunate few who struggle (the 30%).

 

I want to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and a safe and Happy New Year in 2020! Keep fighting the benzo fight, and don't give up!!! 👊

 

[move]HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN 2020🎉🎊🎈🎁[/move]

 

Dave. 

Hi Crow the lower doses are not easy sadly however slow and slower is definitely the way to go.l have absolutely no intention of putting my life at risk just to get off a drug.Honestly you will find your path and really there is no right or wrong.You just do what is right for you.Merry Xmas and happy New year to you as well.Love to you.X

Ps l hope you are nowhere near all the fires.Stay safe.

[[ju...]]

Hi LHSG people,

Generally, how long should you hold before making cuts on your taper? I was told 2-4 months is nothing unusual for Valium. I just want to know how long is too long to hold on your taper.

Dave. 

Morning Crow if l had the answer to that l could make a fortune on this site.Now if your withdrawal symptoms are manageable then you can make a cut.Stalbility doesn't mean withdrawal free it for me means it sucks less and l am somewhat functional.You are the only person that will know when you can make a cut.love to you.X

 

hello stut, you said that "Stalbility doesn't mean withdrawal free it for me means it sucks less and l am somewhat functional". I have been functional in all the process, but for a person -it is me- who have hold at a current dose for 3 or months, some sxs are alternating the other. Until before one month my sx blocking me going was palps for 1 month, before then anx. Now it has been turn of deb. anxiety with tight face-throat-upper chest muscles. In other words, being functional is not just enough for me by itself. Am i wrong? I am just waiting for it to soothe a little...

 

Hey June, maybe a better word is tolerable.  Having symptoms is probably going to be with us the whole taper, but if we can find a way to taper at the right amount, and be tolerable while doing so, well, that's pretty much hitting the jackpot.  Symptoms cycling in and out is pretty normal.  Take your time, slow works , hold if your body is saying hold, cut if you are stable.  Listen to your body.  Mary 💜💜💜

 

and so let your mouth eat honey a saying from our country

[[Ma...]]

Hi LHSG people,

Generally, how long should you hold before making cuts on your taper? I was told 2-4 months is nothing unusual for Valium. I just want to know how long is too long to hold on your taper.

Dave. 

Morning Crow if l had the answer to that l could make a fortune on this site.Now if your withdrawal symptoms are manageable then you can make a cut.Stalbility doesn't mean withdrawal free it for me means it sucks less and l am somewhat functional.You are the only person that will know when you can make a cut.love to you.X

 

hello stut, you said that "Stalbility doesn't mean withdrawal free it for me means it sucks less and l am somewhat functional". I have been functional in all the process, but for a person -it is me- who have hold at a current dose for 3 or months, some sxs are alternating the other. Until before one month my sx blocking me going was palps for 1 month, before then anx. Now it has been turn of deb. anxiety with tight face-throat-upper chest muscles. In other words, being functional is not just enough for me by itself. Am i wrong? I am just waiting for it to soothe a little...

 

Hey June, maybe a better word is tolerable.  Having symptoms is probably going to be with us the whole taper, but if we can find a way to taper at the right amount, and be tolerable while doing so, well, that's pretty much hitting the jackpot.  Symptoms cycling in and out is pretty normal.  Take your time, slow works , hold if your body is saying hold, cut if you are stable.  Listen to your body.  Mary 💜💜💜

 

and so let your mouth eat honey a saying from our country

 

Lol, where are you from? 

[[De...]]

Hi Mmm,

How are you feeling today? Im ok. I feel off. Spaced out. I just got hit with this massive fear and anxiety. What the heck. I dont know why. Then I started thinking of cutting again when i have to and I am terrified.  I canr belueve this. Maybe its a wave. I thought i was always in a wave. Ugh. Ly dd

[[va...]]

Hi Mmm,

How are you feeling today? Im ok. I feel off. Spaced out. I just got hit with this massive fear and anxiety. What the heck. I dont know why. Then I started thinking of cutting again when i have to and I am terrified.  I canr belueve this. Maybe its a wave. I thought i was always in a wave. Ugh. Ly dd

 

Suzy I can't believe we're going through exactly the same experience today. Love you. I'm kind of lurking but not writing. Wrote a post this morning to thank dear Stutt and it got lost because the internet was slow so I gave up. The same as you. Massive anxiety and depression and despair and I'll never get over this thinking, obviously after such a long hold. Take care. I somehow found the strength to get to the hairdresser which scared me but she was so nice. I'm finally blonde. Couch bound and binge watching gossip TV and thinking my life is over, but blonde.

[[De...]]

Omg Janice,

That is so weird. That is how I feel. Its terrifying. It came out of nowere. I went out for a walk and didnt feel to great but did it anyway. Then I came home and bam. Anxious dep thinkinf about the last cut and how can I do it again. What rhe heck. I think we post need to rest and relax. I am glad yoy got tpur hair done! It myst look so pretty!! I love blonde ly Suzy

[[va...]]

Omg Janice,

That is so weird. That is how I feel. Its terrifying. It came out of nowere. I went out for a walk and didnt feel to great but did it anyway. Then I came home and bam. Anxious dep thinkinf about the last cut and how can I do it again. What rhe heck. I think we post need to rest and relax. I am glad yoy got tpur hair done! It myst look so pretty!! I love blonde ly Suzy

 

I hadn't had a day this bad in maybe six weeks. I'm not ready to cut at all. Let's see how the psych appointment goes on January 7th. He was kind of suggesting a cut in January. I'll tell him I already got a haircut. No really, I'm not risking my sanity and my daughter's wellbeing just to follow a doctor's experiment. He's nice, but like many people, he doesn't get it. I'll remind him of last summer when I had SI and asking if he really thinks I'm going to risk that.

[[De...]]

What happened to us?  My god. Today was horrendous. Mayne it 8s becausr we know we are due to.make a cut soon. 8 dont know. I haven't felt like this in a couple months. I am sure he will ler you wait if you explain the way you are feeling. I hate that they don't get it. You have enough stash anyway to wait if you want.  You are funny..love your humour..

[[va...]]

What happened to us?  My god. Today was horrendous. Mayne it 8s becausr we know we are due to.make a cut soon. 8 dont know. I haven't felt like this in a couple months. I am sure he will ler you wait if you explain the way you are feeling. I hate that they don't get it. You have enough stash anyway to wait if you want.  You are funny..love your humour..

 

Suzy I have a stash but I need this guy. He's not perfect but he's the most knowledgeable I've met so far. I'm so sorry you're having this awful wave. I don't think it's good to cut with such bad mental symptoms because I did and ended up in hell, this is a party compared to last summer, and I'm terrified of ending up like that again. We will wait. You can hold too right? I would start cutting if I start seeing an improvement that lasts, but not one better day, three awful days, once a month back into the hole for x days... That's not a baseline from which to cut. I'd be setting myself up for failure, and in this game, failure is very dangerous I'm not going there again. I think knowing we have to cut didn't bring about the wave. The wave comes because we have glutamate damage and storms appear here and there. I read it in some buddies post. Her neurologist had a good explanation. It's somewhere in my progress log. I took it to my psychiatrist but as it comes from a colleague he brushed it off as not interesting because his ego was threatened. That's why we're suffering, because they don't learn, because they need to protect their huge egos. And this is a decent one. The others are much much worse. I'm thankful for this guy. I teach English. It's quite obvious I'm not Shakespeare, so when I don't know something I tell the student I have to look it up. What's the point in making up stuff, they'd find out anyway.

[[Fi...]]

I think the non linear part of benzos is what make things so stressful.  Ive had this idea/maybe fantasy that I will have weeks and weeks of stabilization during my taper but that hasnt been the case.  I had 2 or 3 days of feeling okay but then I'm either blah or after a cut a little worse than blah.  It confused me for a long time because with other meds, there was that pattern for me. 

 

I guess what I'm saying is thati dont think we are doing anything wrong when we have hard days.  Whether someone is holding or tapering slowly, hard days will come from out of the blue even if we are doing everything right.  I think this is the nature of benzos.

 

I will need to tell myself this over and over again till I am off. 

 

Hang in there everyone. 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi Mmm,

How are you feeling today? Im ok. I feel off. Spaced out. I just got hit with this massive fear and anxiety. What the heck. I dont know why. Then I started thinking of cutting again when i have to and I am terrified.  I canr belueve this. Maybe its a wave. I thought i was always in a wave. Ugh. Ly dd

 

I'm so sorry DD.  It could just be stress from Christmas kicking in making the nasty glutamate flow more.  Hate it.  I get nervous about tapering again too, I think that is really common.  Since I had to cross my Liquid so slowly, I have decided to hold through January.  I feel like I am starting to finally feel alittle better and I want to give it a chance.  The pharmacist said he could get Teva Liquid and I was taking Teva pills, so I thought I could do that crossover pretty quickly but then he found out he couldn't, so I had to change generics and I was going slow.  So to me, I have really only been holding a little over a month. 

This is suppose to be a happy time but when you are tapering, it just makes you feel worse, believe me I know.  You hold on, day to day.  Lots of my friends have been pming me today, and a lot of the conversation is about the holidays and stress and just doing day to day. That seems to be the theme.

Are you and bf doing any better?  I sure hope so. 

Nothing from enso  .  Will call them after the first of Jan.  I sure could have used that damn thing.

Will you be with your nieces and nephews at Christmas?  You know I love you and I will be here Christmas Day if you need to vent or anything.  MM  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Hi Mmm,

How are you feeling today? Im ok. I feel off. Spaced out. I just got hit with this massive fear and anxiety. What the heck. I dont know why. Then I started thinking of cutting again when i have to and I am terrified.  I canr belueve this. Maybe its a wave. I thought i was always in a wave. Ugh. Ly dd

 

Suzy I can't believe we're going through exactly the same experience today. Love you. I'm kind of lurking but not writing. Wrote a post this morning to thank dear Stutt and it got lost because the internet was slow so I gave up. The same as you. Massive anxiety and depression and despair and I'll never get over this thinking, obviously after such a long hold. Take care. I somehow found the strength to get to the hairdresser which scared me but she was so nice. I'm finally blonde. Couch bound and binge watching gossip TV and thinking my life is over, but blonde.

 

I hate you are struggling Vali, but you are my kind of woman.  In terrible shape but our vanity always breaks through.  I am very light blonde too and I have decided after first of year, I am getting highlights if it kills me, which I know it will.    :laugh:

[[va...]]

Hi Mmm,

How are you feeling today? Im ok. I feel off. Spaced out. I just got hit with this massive fear and anxiety. What the heck. I dont know why. Then I started thinking of cutting again when i have to and I am terrified.  I canr belueve this. Maybe its a wave. I thought i was always in a wave. Ugh. Ly dd

 

Suzy I can't believe we're going through exactly the same experience today. Love you. I'm kind of lurking but not writing. Wrote a post this morning to thank dear Stutt and it got lost because the internet was slow so I gave up. The same as you. Massive anxiety and depression and despair and I'll never get over this thinking, obviously after such a long hold. Take care. I somehow found the strength to get to the hairdresser which scared me but she was so nice. I'm finally blonde. Couch bound and binge watching gossip TV and thinking my life is over, but blonde.

 

I hate you are struggling Vali, but you are my kind of woman.  In terrible shape but our vanity always breaks through.  I am very light blonde too and I have decided after first of year, I am getting highlights if it kills me, which I know it will.    :laugh:

 

 

Mary you're blonde? But how can that be? Due to your profile pic I had always pictured you as a Brunette. Now I'm going to have to do a whole reprogramming in my benzo brain to reestablish your parameters, at least the hair parameters. I imagined a brunette in tight jeans and cotton T shirts and a lot of jewelry walking around with a tens unit under her clothes. Now I have to reprogram the hair. OK that'll be hard but I'll try. I hope you can go to the hairdresser to get those highlights. I don't feel better but I sure look better. Wait till my daughter goes back to school and I go back to having my breakfasts in the bar and baldy sees me  . I suppose your main issue is the muscle pain? For me it was fear. I kept putting it off thinking something could happen with the electricity and the water while they wash my hair, I mean I have the weirdest fears. Imagine if something really scary happened in this state of mind (and shit happens in life). So no cutting for now.

[[Ma...]]

Vali, seeing my avatar all the time makes me want a purple highlight, lol.  Just one.  I usually get some red and platinum blonde highlights, might just have to mix a purple one in there.  Yes, I am worried about my back, neck and shoulders, benzo's suck!!  Have your camera out, we want a pic of baldy when he sees that blond bomb shell walk in  :laugh:

 

[[va...]]

Vali, seeing my avatar all the time makes me want a purple highlight, lol.  Just one.  I usually get some red and platinum blonde highlights, might just have to mix a purple one in there.  Yes, I am worried about my back, neck and shoulders, benzo's suck!!  Have your camera out, we want a pic of baldy when he sees that blond bomb shell walk in  :laugh:

 

And by bomb shell I hope you don't mean my benzo belly 

[[Ma...]]

Vali, seeing my avatar all the time makes me want a purple highlight, lol.  Just one.  I usually get some red and platinum blonde highlights, might just have to mix a purple one in there.  Yes, I am worried about my back, neck and shoulders, benzo's suck!!  Have your camera out, we want a pic of baldy when he sees that blond bomb shell walk in  :laugh:

 

And by bomb shell I hope you don't mean my benzo belly 

 

:2funny:  No, I don't, because then I would have to talk about mine .  Lol 

[[Ma...]]

DD, I wrote you post above I think you may have missed  . But I mean to add, Intend had some issues that sound a lot like your eye.  She knows a lot about drops and which is good for what.  I know she would be happy to talk to you about it.  LY girlfriend.  MM

[[Ol...]]

I just got my hair re-pinked... even if I'm feeling like shit, getting my hair done does help, even if it's just to show off to the TV while I'm watching it.. Haha

[[Ma...]]

I just got my hair re-pinked... even if I'm feeling like shit, getting my hair done does help, even if it's just to show off to the TV while I'm watching it.. Haha

 

It's true, even if you feel like crap, if your hair looks good, it isn't as bad  :laugh:  Re-pinked, that sounds very interesting  :D

[[De...]]

Aww you guys thanks so much. My head goes nuts and i think.i am crazy. I.probably am. I am getting my hair lightened to. It is brown. I always had highlights. It doesnt really look that bad the wsy it is. It just seems boring. Yoy gave to get that guy Janice.  I am afraid to when I am at the hairdressers too..lol The chemicals  and blow dryers. I swear I will put my life in jeopardy for my hair. Hehe.

Mm;

I would def hold. Especially.if you changed brands.  I onow the feeling and it is true! You feel.it.  You are seeing  improvement finally! So dont mess with a good thing. I agree. I think the holiday is making me depressed. We should be joining in the festivities and instead we are in benzo prison.  I wish enso wasnt so.slow. My mother said they were when.I asked her.  I love yoy too!! I am glad you sre improvement I am so happy!! Yay

 

Thanks fh,

I guess we all need to be reassured and reminded of the non linear process. Its hard for me to deal with too. It is makes no sense. Plus it makes you look bad. One day your great. People say ou your getting better and then you tell them. Oh, no. I really not, I could feel.like dying tomorrow.  My father thinks I am crazy and my.mother thinks I am lying.  ly dd Hope yoy had an.okay day today. 

 

[[Ma...]]

I agree FH, the nonlinear healing, gives you no way to settle in to a nice healing pattern and have some comfort.  As soon as you think, like DD said, you are improving, a symptom or two changes on you and back to feeling like crap, robs you of the comfort you were starting to feel.  Then you find when you feel better again, you don't trust it.  It's not the way we are use to healing . But yuck, it's what we have to deal with,  we are here together.  Hope you and hubby have a Merry Christmas, LY Mary 💜💜💜💜

[[va...]]

Suzy I'm sorry your parents aren't a bit more supportive, really. I hope you can get some support from at least one person in your circle. I'll keep praying for that. I laugh about getting baldy but I know I couldn't possibly deal with a relationship right now in this state. Except that nice English guy I met in summer when my monophobia made me so afraid of being alone that I actually met two guys from the dating site! The English guy was amazing in that he watched all the YouTube benzo wd videos, did research, asked me if I was in a wave, I said no, I'm living in a wave. I'd walk three hours, couldn't be still, so when we met he walked with me, in the mall, because you know we can't do heat. Anyway everyone tries to act their best when you meet them but he was beyond amazing. However I felt no chemistry (I have a thing for jerks), and then the guy is poor. I mean not homeless but judging by his lack of property he could be one paycheck from being homeless, and I think I'm not in a position to support a guy. I don't want a millionaire but a guy with a real estate property where he can drop dead when his time comes, and a decent car so that I don't have to drive him around.

[[De...]]

Janice,

Its ok you can flirt. That can be more fun sometimes. I gave a thing for jerks too. I have been yrying to figure ut out. Is it me? Do I make them jerks. Why ro we like jerks or not know rhey are jerks. I feel like I am always trying to save them. You need someone who has there life together and treats you with respect. 

I was watching this lady Susan Winters on utube. Omg. I have bern so dumb my whole life. Not a clue how men work and the games and who to avoid. I did it all wrong. You should watch her. Seriously, it answered alir of questions for me. Lol. 

[[De...]]

Thats exactly it Mary.  That is how i feel.