The Long Hold Support Group

[[In...]]

Espy,Intend,Bill, Janice, Gilly,GP, Suzy,Meems, look and everyone here remember you will get through this.This is withdrawal and it will pass.l know when you are suffering it feels like it will last for ever but it won't.Stay strong my friends.Love and hugs Stut X

 

Stut,

 

Thanks for mentioning me. I’ve not posted in quite awhile. Been very busy, and seeing so many new people here has been intimidating for me.

 

But I have been reading along here and there. So you are having your troubles with the virus still, withdrawl, and now the mange with Sox. Since Sox never leaves your house, perhaps she got it from the dogs. Just hoping you and your daughter can handle all this with both of you unwell.

 

I am looking at a very long time for withdrawl of this clonazepam. And now worried more than ever about my voice.

 

Yesterday, Blake came over to pick up huge boxes he ordered to fix his friends car. So many boxes that I asked him if his friend was at least paying him, and he said yes because tools and parts were ordered on amazon so he was paid ahead.

 

And he had to wait for the 2nd “in command” at Matt’s plumbing business  to pick him up. While he was here, he made more coffee, and got me unnerved with taking up my counter and washing coffee maker parts with no detergent. I was so shaken that I looked for Dan who is never around when I need him. I just broke down in tears when Dan finally took over. Poor Blake. He never sees me like this.

 

Then last night, he sent me a text telling me that a longtime friend of Dans from his railroad days had just dropped dead of a heart attack. Blake was putting in a water softener at their house when his wife asked him if he was Dans grandson. I’ve never thought they resembled each other that much, but Cathy is our daughter and Blake is her son.

 

Kristy, Blake’s step mother has commented about how much they look alike also. So I’ve just found the obituary and may comment as this friend Paul worked for years with him on the Denver and Rio Grande Railroad which is now the Union Pacific Railroad here.

 

Everyday I wake up and test my voice as mornings are usually my best times with my voice. I tested it yesterday and seemed like it was worse, and today not sure.

 

Still working on my insurance papers, and will definitely need my voice for that.

 

Just know this long hold is not working for me. I am definitely getting worse I do believe.

 

Have contemplated seeing the new Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix if I have the time today.

 

Hey Intend, I am so sorry to hear your voice was worse and that you were crying,  it breaks my heart.

I wish I knew something to help.  Did you go to the movies?  Juaquin Phoenix will make the scariest joker ever, cause he is already strange.  I had two good mornings Thurs and Fri, but yesterday was rough, today some better but far from good.  I am on my 4th day of crossover of my smallest dose of Liquid.  Tastes nasty, but it's only .80, so don't really think it's causing this but of course I worry.

Damn benzo's.  Worried about Stut and the babies, having to wait on that medicine.  Please say hi to Dan and pet Pepper 🌶 fo me.  I love you woman, Mary 🌹🌹🌹🌹

 

Really is no help for me anywhere on BB Mary. I’ve never done well on clonazepam.

 

This 3 month hold was a “just to see type hold.” Just too many generic switches of clonazepam. I’ve never had any indication of when to cut except when all these awful sx stay the same for @2 months.

 

Just can’t expect to have 6 switches of generic clonazepam and do well on any kind of tapering. Now the negative sx are just getting worse and worse. That kind of tells me that I do need to cut right now.

 

I need to call salt lake county tomorrow, but it’s Columbus Day so they could be closed but having worked there so long, salt lake county decided to observe only certain holidays and Columbus Day wasn’t one of them. They took a vote of all the employees there in all the departments of salt lake county and that’s what came of the vote.

 

Oh well, no need to go on about that. I’ve thought and thought about all this, and considered just giving up my membership here. BB has changed too much for me, and this changing of generic clonazepam is ridiculous. I guess I should have just gone with accord or solco and let this all go. I’m tired of fighting what seems to be inevitable.

 

I have not been to the movie yet. It’s 3:25 pm here and we could still go at 5:20. My eyes bother me again so that’s another sign that something new is going on. Yes, about this movie. He’s not only strange, but all across this country, there are warnings about the movie because of all these shootings that have happened. That one in Aurora, Colorado happened the day the last movie about the Joker came out. The one with Heath Ledger I think called “The Dark Knight.”

 

Then again, they roll up the sidewalks here on Sunday so that’s always a good movie day. I don’t know if we’ll go or not.

 

I thought you were doing a 3 month hold yourself, but looks like not. Hope it goes better for everyone here. I don’t understand tapering Valium, and I definitely know I can’t do DMLT since I’ve tried several times in the past, and I just cant do that. I have to taper with the liquid but go by the way I’m feeling which at the moment is terrible. Love you too. 🌹 🚂 🌶

 

 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Morning Trish l am still getting married to my Steve.l am just waiting for you all to finish your tapers.l am sitting here like Miss Havisham and the cobwebs are ridiculous.So get your finger out and get on with it.Love you my lST.X

I hear and obey Mrs Steve 😂😂

Love you.. get better woman!

LST♥️

 

Trishy, what's up with you?  Are your Pots symptoms still under control?  MM 💜💜

Hey Mary, yeah for the most part they are. I would say I'm about 95 percent better. I still get weird chest discomfort when I get hot and some hot flashes a few times a day but so much better then I was. My BP goes a little wacky too when I stand up from sitting I'll get lighted headed and my hearing goes in and out until it passes. It doesn't last long but I don't like it. My breathing is good I can walk and stand all I want without issue. I'm on the fence about seeing the pots specialist now 🤷 tomorrow is gyno🤦

 

I'm sorry to hear you're still a little around the edges. Do you think you'll stick with the liquid? Will your Dr switch you back to pills if you wanted?

[/quote

 

Yuck, the Gyno  . Mine is coming up.  Glad you are doing well enough now. It's taken so long to get that appointment, I would really think about it, just incase when you cut, things go badly again.  Just a thought.  Oh, I am not giving up on Liquid anytime soon, I had already been feeling bad, I have to give it a good chance, but I do feel pretty crappy.  Yeah, I am sure she would but I want to keep trying.

I have my second eye procedure this week, it just never ends.  I worked out today, but not sure it was a good idea or not, but I hate not working out when I feel so bad.  I just never know what to do

Love ya, too many T's.  Give that hubby a big hug for being such a good guy  .  🍁🍂🎃🍁🍂🎃

Aww mm thanks for being so sweet and a good friend. I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. I know what you mean about working out. I don't work out but I am used to being on my feet and hustling my butt off at work and now I'm like a lump on the couch 😔 I hate to be sedentary, I like to be active and on the go.. But oh well it is what it is for now. I did go to a baby shower today and I really enjoyed that. I sat with my sisters and my daughter and daughter-in-law, neices and a couple of close family friends. It was so nice to be out and socializing. I'll be doing more with the church soon there is a church dinner coming up and a fund raiser so I have some things there to do. I'm going out tomorrow too with my grandkids and daughter and daughter in law the kids have off from school so we're taking them for a hay ride and lunch , after my gyno appt, then Saturday we're doing it all over again with the whole family. It just gets so lonely and boring sometimes. I have to find things to do.. ok I've rambled on here 😂😂 I will give Rich a big hug for you he's looking like he could use one lol!! Give TERRIFIC TIM A TENDER , THOUGHTFUL , TOUCHING hug from TOTALLY TIRED TOO many T'S TRISH 😂😂

Love you woman ♥️

[[Ma...]]

Espy,Intend,Bill, Janice, Gilly,GP, Suzy,Meems, look and everyone here remember you will get through this.This is withdrawal and it will pass.l know when you are suffering it feels like it will last for ever but it won't.Stay strong my friends.Love and hugs Stut X

 

Stut,

 

Thanks for mentioning me. I’ve not posted in quite awhile. Been very busy, and seeing so many new people here has been intimidating for me.

 

But I have been reading along here and there. So you are having your troubles with the virus still, withdrawl, and now the mange with Sox. Since Sox never leaves your house, perhaps she got it from the dogs. Just hoping you and your daughter can handle all this with both of you unwell.

 

I am looking at a very long time for withdrawl of this clonazepam. And now worried more than ever about my voice.

 

Yesterday, Blake came over to pick up huge boxes he ordered to fix his friends car. So many boxes that I asked him if his friend was at least paying him, and he said yes because tools and parts were ordered on amazon so he was paid ahead.

 

And he had to wait for the 2nd “in command” at Matt’s plumbing business  to pick him up. While he was here, he made more coffee, and got me unnerved with taking up my counter and washing coffee maker parts with no detergent. I was so shaken that I looked for Dan who is never around when I need him. I just broke down in tears when Dan finally took over. Poor Blake. He never sees me like this.

 

Then last night, he sent me a text telling me that a longtime friend of Dans from his railroad days had just dropped dead of a heart attack. Blake was putting in a water softener at their house when his wife asked him if he was Dans grandson. I’ve never thought they resembled each other that much, but Cathy is our daughter and Blake is her son.

 

Kristy, Blake’s step mother has commented about how much they look alike also. So I’ve just found the obituary and may comment as this friend Paul worked for years with him on the Denver and Rio Grande Railroad which is now the Union Pacific Railroad here.

 

Everyday I wake up and test my voice as mornings are usually my best times with my voice. I tested it yesterday and seemed like it was worse, and today not sure.

 

Still working on my insurance papers, and will definitely need my voice for that.

 

Just know this long hold is not working for me. I am definitely getting worse I do believe.

 

Have contemplated seeing the new Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix if I have the time today.

 

Hey Intend, I am so sorry to hear your voice was worse and that you were crying,  it breaks my heart.

I wish I knew something to help.  Did you go to the movies?  Juaquin Phoenix will make the scariest joker ever, cause he is already strange.  I had two good mornings Thurs and Fri, but yesterday was rough, today some better but far from good.  I am on my 4th day of crossover of my smallest dose of Liquid.  Tastes nasty, but it's only .80, so don't really think it's causing this but of course I worry.

Damn benzo's.  Worried about Stut and the babies, having to wait on that medicine.  Please say hi to Dan and pet Pepper 🌶 fo me.  I love you woman, Mary 🌹🌹🌹🌹

 

Really is no help for me anywhere on BB Mary. I’ve never done well on clonazepam.

 

This 3 month hold was a “just to see type hold.” Just too many generic switches of clonazepam. I’ve never had any indication of when to cut except when all these awful sx stay the same for @2 months.

 

Just can’t expect to have 6 switches of generic clonazepam and do well on any kind of tapering. Now the negative sx are just getting worse and worse. That kind of tells me that I do need to cut right now.

 

I need to call salt lake county tomorrow, but it’s Columbus Day so they could be closed but having worked there so long, salt lake county decided to observe only certain holidays and Columbus Day wasn’t one of them. They took a vote of all the employees there in all the departments of salt lake county and that’s what came of the vote.

 

Oh well, no need to go on about that. I’ve thought and thought about all this, and considered just giving up my membership here. BB has changed too much for me, and this changing of generic clonazepam is ridiculous. I guess I should have just gone with accord or solco and let this all go. I’m tired of fighting what seems to be inevitable.

 

I have not been to the movie yet. It’s 3:25 pm here and we could still go at 5:20. My eyes bother me again so that’s another sign that something new is going on. Yes, about this movie. He’s not only strange, but all across this country, there are warnings about the movie because of all these shootings that have happened. That one in Aurora, Colorado happened the day the last movie about the Joker came out. The one with Heath Ledger I think called “The Dark Knight.”

 

Then again, they roll up the sidewalks here on Sunday so that’s always a good movie day. I don’t know if we’ll go or not.

 

I thought you were doing a 3 month hold yourself, but looks like not. Hope it goes better for everyone here. I don’t understand tapering Valium, and I definitely know I can’t do DMLT since I’ve tried several times in the past, and I just cant do that. I have to taper with the liquid but go by the way I’m feeling which at the moment is terrible. Love you too. 🌹 🚂 🌶

 

No, I am still holding, the way I feel, I am not tapering, day 16 I think.  Yes, I did see that about the warning about the movie, just forgot it.  May be better to stay home.  IMO, and you know I love you, I think you would miss bb.  And I would miss you.  🍁🍂🎃💛🍁🍂🎃💛

[[Ma...]]

Morning Trish l am still getting married to my Steve.l am just waiting for you all to finish your tapers.l am sitting here like Miss Havisham and the cobwebs are ridiculous.So get your finger out and get on with it.Love you my lST.X

I hear and obey Mrs Steve 😂😂

Love you.. get better woman!

LST♥️

 

Trishy, what's up with you?  Are your Pots symptoms still under control?  MM 💜💜

Hey Mary, yeah for the most part they are. I would say I'm about 95 percent better. I still get weird chest discomfort when I get hot and some hot flashes a few times a day but so much better then I was. My BP goes a little wacky too when I stand up from sitting I'll get lighted headed and my hearing goes in and out until it passes. It doesn't last long but I don't like it. My breathing is good I can walk and stand all I want without issue. I'm on the fence about seeing the pots specialist now 🤷 tomorrow is gyno🤦

 

I'm sorry to hear you're still a little around the edges. Do you think you'll stick with the liquid? Will your Dr switch you back to pills if you wanted?

[/quote

 

Yuck, the Gyno  . Mine is coming up.  Glad you are doing well enough now. It's taken so long to get that appointment, I would really think about it, just incase when you cut, things go badly again.  Just a thought.  Oh, I am not giving up on Liquid anytime soon, I had already been feeling bad, I have to give it a good chance, but I do feel pretty crappy.  Yeah, I am sure she would but I want to keep trying.

I have my second eye procedure this week, it just never ends.  I worked out today, but not sure it was a good idea or not, but I hate not working out when I feel so bad.  I just never know what to do

Love ya, too many T's.  Give that hubby a big hug for being such a good guy  .  🍁🍂🎃🍁🍂🎃

Aww mm thanks for being so sweet and a good friend. I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. I know what you mean about working out. I don't work out but I am used to being on my feet and hustling my butt off at work and now I'm like a lump on the couch 😔 I hate to be sedentary, I like to be active and on the go.. But oh well it is what it is for now. I did go to a baby shower today and I really enjoyed that. I sat with my sisters and my daughter and daughter-in-law, neices and a couple of close family friends. It was so nice to be out and socializing. I'll be doing more with the church soon there is a church dinner coming up and a fund raiser so I have some things there to do. I'm going out tomorrow too with my grandkids and daughter and daughter in law the kids have off from school so we're taking them for a hay ride and lunch , after my gyno appt, then Saturday we're doing it all over again with the whole family. It just gets so lonely and boring sometimes. I have to find things to do.. ok I've rambled on here 😂😂 I will give Rich a big hug for you he's looking like he could use one lol!! Give TERRIFIC TIM A TENDER , THOUGHTFUL , TOUCHING hug from TOTALLY TIRED TOO many T'S TRISH 😂😂

Love you woman ♥️

 

Lol, lol.  Now there's 2, too many T's.  You have a good time on that hay ride 

[[Tr...]]

BTW Mary what day is your second eye procedure? Now is this laser?

[[Tr...]]

Hey intend I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I gave you a shout out pages ago I think on page 4009 something like that. I just wanted to say hello and see what you and Dan were up too. I hope you get to that movie it might do you good to get out. If you do eat some 🍿 popcorn for me.. Yum!

TT♥️

[[Ma...]]

BTW Mary what day is your second eye procedure? Now is this laser?

 

It's Wednesday and yes the laser 

[[In...]]

Hey intend I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I gave you a shout out pages ago I think on page 4009 something like that. I just wanted to say hello and see what you and Dan were up too. I hope you get to that movie it might do you good to get out. If you do eat some 🍿 popcorn for me.. Yum!

TT♥️

 

Trish,

 

Thank you. I saw your shout out. We’re up to nothing really.

[[Tr...]]

BTW Mary what day is your second eye procedure? Now is this laser?

 

It's Wednesday and yes the laser 

Oh that's good. Will you have to stay off BB for awhile?

[[Tr...]]

Hey intend I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I gave you a shout out pages ago I think on page 4009 something like that. I just wanted to say hello and see what you and Dan were up too. I hope you get to that movie it might do you good to get out. If you do eat some 🍿 popcorn for me.. Yum!

TT♥️

 

Trish,

 

Thank you. I saw your shout out. We’re up to nothing really.

  hang in there intend. I know you've been battling this taper for a long time and I know how discouraging the whole process can be, especially you having to deal with being sensitive to generic changes. Even if you have to taper crumbs here and there it's still going down and in the right direction and it'll take as long as it takes. ♥️

[[Tr...]]

BTW Mary what day is your second eye procedure? Now is this laser?

 

It's Wednesday and yes the laser 

Oh that's good. Will you have to stay off BB for awhile?

Maybe I should get laser I didn't see your sad face 👓 🥺 don't worry mm, you got this! It'll be over before you know it! Then you'll have good peepers again 😀

[[Ma...]]

BTW Mary what day is your second eye procedure? Now is this laser?

 

It's Wednesday and yes the laser 

Oh that's good. Will you have to stay off BB for awhile?

 

I won't be on much, but you know I can't stay off long :P

[[Tr...]]

BTW Mary what day is your second eye procedure? Now is this laser?

 

It's Wednesday and yes the laser 

Oh that's good. Will you have to stay off BB for awhile?

 

I won't be on much, but you know I can't stay off long :P

Lol, yes I know

[[Ma...]]

BTW Mary what day is your second eye procedure? Now is this laser?

 

It's Wednesday and yes the laser 

Oh that's good. Will you have to stay off BB for awhile?

 

I won't be on much, but you know I can't stay off long :P

Lol, yes I know

 

:mybuddy:

[[In...]]

Mary,

 

I see you have a new personal text- Embrace  the glorious mess that you are.

 

I’d like to do that myself, but I just can’t  embrace the glorious mess that I am.

 

Just too many responsibilities and trying to survive.

[[Ma...]]

Mary,

 

I see you have a new personal text- Embrace  the glorious mess that you are.

 

I’d like to do that myself, but I just can’t  embrace the glorious mess that I am.

 

Just too many responsibilities and trying to survive.

 

I understand Intend, I was tired of my old one and that was best I could find at time, I ain't doing much embracing myself 

[[In...]]

I always think that if we all had a ton of money that none of this would be a problem.

 

Yes, we wouldn’t like the withdrawals, but I’d never have to worry about being bounced around on all these generics because someone that worked for me would make sure I got the same kind for all the time I was tapering.

 

Overall, I think that money can make a big difference between worrying about all this crap and never worrying.

 

I think I need to become a celebrity and have a lot of money.

[[Ma...]]

I always think that if we all had a ton of money that none of this would be a problem.

 

Yes, we wouldn’t like the withdrawals, but I’d never have to worry about being bounced around on all these generics because someone that worked for me would make sure I got the same kind for all the time I was tapering.

 

Overall, I think that money can make a big difference between worrying about all this crap and never worrying.

 

I think I need to become a celebrity and have a lot of money.

 

I totally agree, we could be slowly tapered and pampered, spa, massages, light exercises, pool, a totally different experience in a place to look after us ...and yes, I bet you could get the right damn benzo :tickedoff:

[[In...]]

For sure we’d be much happier!

 

🎉 🎈 🎊 🎂 🍰 🧁 🍨 🍦 💥 🧨 ⚡️ and 💰 💰 💰 🏊‍♀️ 🏊  :clap:

[[Ma...]]

For sure we’d be much happier!

 

🎉 🎈 🎊 🎂 🍰 🧁 🍨 🍦 💥 🧨 ⚡️ and 💰 💰 💰 🏊‍♀️ 🏊  :clap:

 

Lol, lol.    $$$

[[Ol...]]

Dang this group moves fast!!! Stut to answer your questions from a few pages back, I have been working on my phobia pretty  solidly for the last year and a half. (Emetephobia, for those of you who I don't know from before, fear of vomiting) I worked on it for about a year with my therapist and then I stopped going to her because I was seriously in debt, but I have been doing personal work since then. It is a really hard phobia to get rid of. I definitely have not gotten rid of it but I have learned to manage it a bit better. It also helps that I am not nauseous every day anymore, which was just triggering my intense fear all day every day before. It was so bad I could hardly eat for a year and lost 20lbs. I now have my appetite totally back and have gained all of the weight back, I am so relieved.

I love you all! Mary I love your new tag line! (Also 'embrace' is misspelled BTW but maybe that works anyway?) 

 

[[Ro...]]

I’m really struggling at the moment. I could feel it building up since last week but today is particularly difficult. All the feelings of fear and guilt and an inability to do anything. I’m trying my hardest with light exercise and a healthy diet, hanging out with friends/family. I’m not sure what else I can do. This doesn’t feel like life is supposed to be. It’s like an endless rain of terror. I don’t mean to be a downer, sorry about that. I just don’t have a next move.

 

[[Ol...]]

Hey Rose, I'm so sorry you are suffering. I sure know how you feel. I spent about 2 years mostly watching Netflix and feeling like I was wasting my life and never going to get better. Hang in there, it does actually get better and you will come out of this. I had to do a 1.5 year hold to really stabilize. Remember that doing your best will change from day to day. Sometimes you can get out and do  things and other days you have to stay in bed and that is just part of withdrawal.

[[Ro...]]

Hey Rose, I'm so sorry you are suffering. I sure know how you feel. I spent about 2 years mostly watching Netflix and feeling like I was wasting my life and never going to get better. Hang in there, it does actually get better and you will come out of this. I had to do a 1.5 year hold to really stabilize. Remember that doing your best will change from day to day. Sometimes you can get out and do  things and other days you have to stay in bed and that is just part of withdrawal.

 

Thanks OliveKitty, I was wondering if I haven’t stabilised yet. It does feel like a roller coaster. I can just never seem to prepare myself for the toughest times. I get so excited when there’s a glimmer then it goes again. Your support is kindly appreciated. xx

[[St...]]

I’m really struggling at the moment. I could feel it building up since last week but today is particularly difficult. All the feelings of fear and guilt and an inability to do anything. I’m trying my hardest with light exercise and a healthy diet, hanging out with friends/family. I’m not sure what else I can do. This doesn’t feel like life is supposed to be. It’s like an endless rain of terror. I don’t mean to be a downer, sorry about that. I just don’t have a next move.

 

  Good morning Rose l am sorry you are struggling and l think we can all relate.Now your holding at 1 mg? This takes a lot of patience as no one can tell you when you will stabilise.I think the thing that really has helped me more than anything else is accepting this as withdrawal and doing what l can when l can.Really at this time you are doing everything you can so try not to get disheartened and know that this will ease off given enough time.Love to you.X