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friends and other assorted normal folk


[22...]

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[22...]

i dont know if its just me but i can hardly stand to be near pld friends or acquaintances.

"hey how are you? i havent seen you in a while "desperatelybroken" (clearly not my name)

"oh hey girl....yeah i went nuts after i went to that dr you told me about. yeah. no like way nuts...like i went to the hut for nuts. in fact many....yeah no i dont work at "x" anymore...me and my husband? yeah he mostly yells at me for not trying. did you see his car? he bought it when i went nuts. hows our kid? well the whole world thinks im a danget to him so....motherhood kind of got robbed from me. how are you doing? got any good pinterest projects? sorry i shudder when i hear sirens."

 

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It's almost impossible for people to understand.  It's not their fault.  We are shocked at our own experience, so there is no way anyone else can grasp it.  Healing from benzo use is a lonely thing, but keep posting here.  People here understand.
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[22...]
im begin to wonder. i couldnt find anyone as bad as me for a long long time. when it counted all i found was more abuse and harm and i lost it all bc of it. its so harmful what these people did to me.
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I know my story is probably not the same as yours, but I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to dreading those conversations with old friends or acquaintenced or "normal" people. I stand there and I think "okay so do  I basically lie or gloss over this and pretend everything is okay... talk about my job as if I'm still working, etc. Or do I launch into this sad explanation of how my whole life has fallen apart because of bemzo toletance", knowing that they won't understand and it's probably "too much information” anyway. . Ugh . And either way I just don't want to have to give an answer. I don't really want  to pretend like everything's fine but I don't want to give out all this information about how bad my life is either. So it's just awkward. 

 

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One day at a time..your body needs time to heal. We all feel permanently broken, everyone on here has. Everyone before us has. But healing happens.  ;)
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Desperately, I am so sorry that has happened to you.  Most of us do hate those conversations because if you haven't been through it, you can't possibly know.    Can you tell us what you are on now?  Maybe we can help support you someway.  There are a lot of people on bb that went through hell to get here,  so maybe we can at least listen and be here for you.  So many people have healed , that never believed they would.  It may take awhile, but it can happen.  Men want to fix things and it's hard for them when they can't.  We are here for you.....Mary ♥️🙋🏼

 

 

 

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