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Is it time to jump off? Having a terrible time...


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Well I have been on this taper seemingly forever (started 2/14/2018) and I have now gotten down from 20mg diazepam to 1.3mg through DLMT but since I got to 1.4mg, I have had to updose to counteract intense episodes (I have 4 times in my spreadsheet but it has definitely been at least 6 or 7) and I have found myself having to hold for long periods of time (I'm doing 3.5% reductions spread across 14 days so I was already going quite slow).

 

Now I have been officially holding since 8/1 at exactly 1.3mg and I'm not getting any better. I take my dose at 10:30PM, I get tired around 12:30AM and lie down, then I'm back up by 2:30 to 3:30AM and I'm just in total withdrawal hell until I finally manage to crash again sometime in the midday the next day. It feels almost like I'm getting so little Valium that I'm actually just going straight to the rebound anxiety period and I don't quite know what to do about it. When I don't sleep, I end up with chest pains, back pains, neck pains, adrenaline spikes crash my blood sugar (I'm not diabetic but I do have hypoglycemia and it has been out of control the past month or so, often requiring me to eat a snack at weird hours of the night which doesn't help my sleep problem either), I feel weak, and I start to hallucinate.

 

I know I can't keep up with this pace of problems.. I have Medicaid long term care services because of how debilitating my anxiety can get and I had to cancel my personal care assistant on Tuesday because I hadn't slept that night and was crashing when she was supposed to be here. If I cancel too many times, its going to risk my benefits. She's supposed to be coming in about 6 hours from now and once again, I can't sleep.

 

I am terrified to jump. But I have even dumped out my Valium solution and remade it to make sure I didn't mess it up (I use 2 10mg pills, 40mL of propylene glycol, and 160mL of water in a glass mason jar since my doctor refuses to give me a script for oral solution) and I have had no improvement. I'm not really too sure what to do. I mean if I jump too early, I could make things even worse for myself and the last thing I want to do is make my kindling even worse than it already is or end up in protracted withdrawal to the point that I do something stupid.

 

Any advice is appreciated because my psychiatrist has never dealt with someone who was as dependent on benzos as I am. Most of her patients were just recreational abusers and came off with a regular cut and hold taper with medication support like gabapentin. She has no idea how to help me other than trying to give me prescriptions for other things that I always either shoot down or accept and then never take while telling her I have been taking it to get her off my back. I need relief though and my taper schedule still has a bit over a year left to it before I planned to jump off at .5mg.

 

For now I'm just continuing to hold and hope for the return of normal sleep. It is quite shocking how quickly this hit. Its been a bit more rough since I got under 2mg but this is next level nightmare territory. It makes me wonder if I can even get to the finish line or if I do, if I will ever recover...

 

Thanks,

Rob

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I actually believe that what you are experiencing is more common than you think, regardless of what your doctor says. Benzos create severe dependence in many of us.

 

I wish I had some advice. I'm tapering off of Xanax and it's been tough as hell. I didn't want to cross over to Valium because of how hard it seems to be to ditch that last little bit.

 

It seems like a fairly big jump. I think if it were me, I would hold until you feel more stable and then cut five to ten percent. You could try the jump but as you well know, if it becomes unbearable, there aren't a lot of options. You can reinstate if it's too awful. Otherwise, there are other drugs which all have their own side effects.

 

I'm using gabapentin which is helping with some of the panic attacks but it's by no means a cure. I still feel pretty rough. For me it's just a matter of trying to do what is sustainable. Right now, I'm having a lot of panic attacks so I'm holding my dose. I'm not cutting anymore until I'm stable again.

 

I hope you find a solution that works for you. 😊

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I actually believe that what you are experiencing is more common than you think, regardless of what your doctor says. Benzos create severe dependence in many of us.

 

I wish I had some advice. I'm tapering off of Xanax and it's been tough as hell. I didn't want to cross over to Valium because of how hard it seems to be to ditch that last little bit.

 

It seems like a fairly big jump. I think if it were me, I would hold until you feel more stable and then cut five to ten percent. You could try the jump but as you well know, if it becomes unbearable, there aren't a lot of options. You can reinstate if it's too awful. Otherwise, there are other drugs which all have their own side effects.

 

I'm using gabapentin which is helping with some of the panic attacks but it's by no means a cure. I still feel pretty rough. For me it's just a matter of trying to do what is sustainable. Right now, I'm having a lot of panic attacks so I'm holding my dose. I'm not cutting anymore until I'm stable again.

 

I hope you find a solution that works for you. 😊

 

I wish that gabapentin was an option. I have had awful reactions to just 100mg doses of the stuff. I get along with Lyrica but I don't know if I could get my psych to give me any.

 

I don't really think it matters what benzo you are on when you get to that last little bit honestly. It seems to be universally awful... I tried tapering before back around 2012 and I managed to get down to about 5mg before I was updosing more frequently than I was cutting and I ended up throwing in the towel. I'm at the home stretch this time and I don't want to muck it up.

 

I guess I will just have to keep holding. I tend to be pretty impatient and lets face it, I have been doing this for 2 1/2 years now and I'm tired of it. I have full blown agoraphobia (which is even worse with the COVID situation and the riots and such) so I spend my days up in my room playing games on my phone because that's about the extent of the stimulation I can handle. Its a pretty awful existence but I was at least sleeping until this point. Now I don't know what to do because sleep is what always messes up my will to get off.

 

I hope that your panic attacks calm down for you so you can keep going. :)

 

How many days are you keeping/using your homebrew liquid? 

 

About 15 days. I use distilled water and I don't let the oral syringes come in contact with my mouth so bacteria shouldn't be a big concern and I was making 300mL batches before I decided to settle on the 200mL ones I make now so I don't think its a diazepam degradation scenario either.

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It’s your call, of course.  But, if I were in your shoes, I would make my homebrew liquid in smaller batches and keep it for less time to minimize the risk of physical or chemical degradation.  (I agree with you that microbial contamination and proliferation is not as much of a risk given your use of distilled water and your “contactless” dose delivery method).

 

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It’s your call, of course.  But, if I were in your shoes, I would make my homebrew liquid in smaller batches and keep it for less time to minimize the risk of physical or chemical degradation.  (I agree with you that microbial contamination and proliferation is not as much of a risk given your use of distilled water and your “contactless” dose delivery method).

 

 

I will try some smaller batches and see how it goes. This current batch is only 4 or 5 days old though and it’s the second batch I tried since the 31st when everything blew up in my face so it seems unlikely to be the issue.

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Good for you. Please let us know how it goes.  My take on homebrew liquids is that one should do anything and everything possible to minimize risk as well as inconsistencies in dose.
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Good for you. Please let us know how it goes.  My take on homebrew liquids is that one should do anything and everything possible to minimize risk as well as inconsistencies in dose.

 

Yeah it’s a very temperamental process, especially since you don’t know if the symptoms are withdrawal or something wrong with the batch of meds. I can’t tell you how much diazepam I have wasted thinking there was something wrong with the batch I made. It’s all such a crappy thing. You can’t trust anything you feel because there is no way to know what is authentic and what isn’t. Even if you make a new batch and start to feel better, there’s no guarantee that was the actual issue because of how rapidly symptoms shift anyway. 🤦‍♂️

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I'm sorry you have a bad reaction to gabapentin. That is what has helped me with sleep. I agree, not sleeping is just awful. It makes a tough situation so much worse. I hope things will start to improve.
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This may or may not help but I started going to bed around 7pm to try and get as much sleep as possible.  It seemed I could sleep a couple of hours then wake up an lie there dosing off and on.  I did this because at 3:30am-4am I would always get cortisol rushes to some degree which seems to be the common norm.  After that, there was no going back to sleep.  That's why I tried going to sleep earlier and it seemed to help some.  Just a thought..maybe something to try?
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Well said. I agree.  I’m sorry you’ve hit a rough patch.  As I’m sure you know, it’s not uncommon at lower doses.  You have already demonstrated considerable determination and willpower by reducing your dose from 20mg to 1.3mg.  Drawing on those strengths will get you to the finish line.
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This may or may not help but I started going to bed around 7pm to try and get as much sleep as possible.  It seemed I could sleep a couple of hours then wake up an lie there dosing off and on.  I did this because at 3:30am-4am I would always get cortisol rushes to some degree which seems to be the common norm.  After that, there was no going back to sleep.  That's why I tried going to sleep earlier and it seemed to help some.  Just a thought..maybe something to try?

Good idea! When I can get myself to bed early, I also manage to get more sleep.

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I'm sorry you have a bad reaction to gabapentin. That is what has helped me with sleep. I agree, not sleeping is just awful. It makes a tough situation so much worse. I hope things will start to improve.

 

It makes me very high. The first time I had it, I hallucinated for two days. My friends and roommate swore that I must have taken a hallucinogen but come to find out it doesn’t mix well with cough syrup. The second time I took it, it made me euphoric and overstimulated. Actually caused me to have chest pains for the first time in awhile.

 

My mind and body just don’t really want anything to do with any drugs. I mean I was a pack a day smoker since I was 17 and I woke up on 12/1/2018 and just quit and never looked back. If only it could be like that with benzos!

 

This may or may not help but I started going to bed around 7pm to try and get as much sleep as possible.  It seemed I could sleep a couple of hours then wake up an lie there dosing off and on.  I did this because at 3:30am-4am I would always get cortisol rushes to some degree which seems to be the common norm.  After that, there was no going back to sleep.  That's why I tried going to sleep earlier and it seemed to help some.  Just a thought..maybe something to try?

 

The problem is that I have roommates and thin walls. It isn’t fair for me to tell them that they have to turn off their TV shows so I can go to sleep. Now that they have been forced to work from home, my sleep schedule already had to migrate from midnight to 2AM to accommodate the change in hours. I was never able to get to sleep that early anyway though. Even as a child my mom couldn’t get me actually asleep before 8, often more like 9.

 

I didn’t know about this cortisol rush but that sounds like exactly what is happening to me, it even wakes me up if I’m asleep at the time. The first two days I woke up right about 3:30 even though I was falling asleep in my armchair before I went to bed at 12:30.

 

Well said. I agree.  I’m sorry you’ve hit a rough patch.  As I’m sure you know, it’s not uncommon at lower doses.  You have already demonstrated considerable determination and willpower by reducing your dose from 20mg to 1.3mg.  Drawing on those strengths will get you to the finish line.

 

Thanks. I tend to have a difficult time looking at the positive accomplishments when I have hit a low like this. It’s incredibly defeating to know that I’m so close to that finish line and I feel like the world is falling apart now. I gave up literally everything to do this - everything that ever gave me pleasure in life has either been flipped upside down to an anxiety trigger or I had to let it go for my recovery. I’m a very strong person but this taper just breaks me every time and even though my rational mind is still being rational, my body is sending signals that make me question if there isn’t something more serious going on and it’s all that I can do to keep from spiraling down that rabbit hole sometimes.  :-\

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This may or may not help but I started going to bed around 7pm to try and get as much sleep as possible.  It seemed I could sleep a couple of hours then wake up an lie there dosing off and on.  I did this because at 3:30am-4am I would always get cortisol rushes to some degree which seems to be the common norm.  After that, there was no going back to sleep.  That's why I tried going to sleep earlier and it seemed to help some.  Just a thought..maybe something to try?

Good idea! When I can get myself to bed early, I also manage to get more sleep.

 

Sleep has always been a huge issue for me even before I had panic attacks. Once I hit my teens, I basically stopped being able to sleep until I hit the point of exhaustion and then I was dead to the world and impossible to wake up.

 

I have bottles of mirtazapine, quetiapine, hydroxyzine, and trazodone here but I am scared to take any of it. I have had mixed reactions to mirtazapine and trazodone, quetiapine I have never had and the list of side effects makes me not want to try it (who in their right mind wants to take something that can cause diabetes?!), and hydroxyzine doesn’t make me drowsy.

 

I used to have great results with Valerian but I know that’s on the no no list because of GABA.

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Somethings I do to help with sleep: ear plugs and an eye mask. Those two things combined help get me an extra 1-2 hours every night. I have two dogs and a partner that sleep in the room with me and we also have a 5 yo son, so plenty of opportunities for lots of noise. Also, if you’re in a country/state with legal cannabis, that may be something to look into. I have been helped a lot by THC-only indica edibles.
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Somethings I do to help with sleep: ear plugs and an eye mask. Those two things combined help get me an extra 1-2 hours every night. I have two dogs and a partner that sleep in the room with me and we also have a 5 yo son, so plenty of opportunities for lots of noise. Also, if you’re in a country/state with legal cannabis, that may be something to look into. I have been helped a lot by THC-only indica edibles.

 

I live in CO, cannabis is definitely legal here. The thing is, my first ever panic attack was from weed and I avoid it because weed panic attacks were never something I was able to medicate away - neither benzos or alcohol killed it, I just had to put up with the 4-5 hours of hell when I smoked too much. It’s also really expensive, totally not something in my very limited budget.

 

I actually have to have noise to drown out the ringing in my ears or I would love some ear plugs. Sometimes it sounds like church bells going off in my ears endlessly so I have a Vornado that both helps me to not burn alive and produces some pretty strong white noise. I also have to have the TV on or I can’t fall asleep. It really is a huge fight trying to get to sleep but when I get there, I don’t normally have problems which is why this has been so frustrating. I have always been one of those people who didn’t wake up easily (I actually slept through a hurricane when I was in Louisiana - power went out and I decided to sleep through the storm) but when I get woken up, I can’t go back to sleep.

 

I may have to just do a no no and get some Sleepytime Extra chamomile/valerian tea and see if it helps me like it used to. It isn’t ideal with the GABA properties but it’s less likely to be harmful than Lyrica or another habit forming substance.

 

I think I’m going to have to get a new mattress too. My Leesa feels like sleeping on concrete now that I’m losing weight. Another thing that’s totally not in the budget right now. :(

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I have always maintained that if you don’t do something else to learn to handle thee symptoms, when you taper off the medication the original problem will still be there.  If you have anxiety or panic, I would recommend the free weekly online meetings of RecoveryInternational.org

 

They will teach you coping phrases and other things to help you manage the panic and anxiety.  No one will see you during the meeting. You will see the leader and the information being presented.  You can be totallly anonymous.  I suggest trying it for several months to see if you feel this will work for you but it is all based on CBT which is the ONLY recognized and tested treatment for panic and anxiety.  They will ask where you heard of them, and you can say “Christine from Florida sent me.”  But please do not connect me with this website ok?  That’s part of my life that I want to keep private.  I hope this helps you.

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I have always maintained that if you don’t do something else to learn to handle thee symptoms, when you taper off the medication the original problem will still be there.  If you have anxiety or panic, I would recommend the free weekly online meetings of RecoveryInternational.org

 

They will teach you coping phrases and other things to help you manage the panic and anxiety.  No one will see you during the meeting. You will see the leader and the information being presented.  You can be totallly anonymous.  I suggest trying it for several months to see if you feel this will work for you but it is all based on CBT which is the ONLY recognized and tested treatment for panic and anxiety.  They will ask where you heard of them, and you can say “Christine from Florida sent me.”  But please do not connect me with this website ok?  That’s part of my life that I want to keep private.  I hope this helps you.

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I have always maintained that if you don’t do something else to learn to handle thee symptoms, when you taper off the medication the original problem will still be there.  If you have anxiety or panic, I would recommend the free weekly online meetings of RecoveryInternational.org

 

They will teach you coping phrases and other things to help you manage the panic and anxiety.  No one will see you during the meeting. You will see the leader and the information being presented.  You can be totallly anonymous.  I suggest trying it for several months to see if you feel this will work for you but it is all based on CBT which is the ONLY recognized and tested treatment for panic and anxiety.  They will ask where you heard of them, and you can say “Christine from Florida sent me.”  But please do not connect me with this website ok?  That’s part of my life that I want to keep private.  I hope this helps you.

 

Thanks, I will have to check that out.

 

It is not like I don’t already have coping skills. I know all of them, they just don’t work for me when my anxiety really gets going. The thing is that the mental component of irrational thoughts are pretty much gone so it’s just my body that needs to get in line now. Once it cools down I am going to start working out a bit which should help immensely.

 

Don't jump, you will make things worse than they are.

 

Your brain needs to recover. Just by removing the drugs from your system doesn't mean the brain will reverse faster to it's original state. It's an error in thinking that by removing the drug it will get better faster. It will probably get worse. It doesn't matter if you jump right now, or taper, your recovery speed of the brain is already set.  You do have choice in how big the suffering will be. I think you will even heal faster if you taper slowly, how contradictory it even sounds.

 

If I were you I would do the 1,3 mg in 13 months. You're giving your brain the time to adjust, you don't suffer as much and you feel better everyday as you heal during the slow taper. It's a long time, but I wish someone convinced me to go slow years back.

 

Good luck!

 

Yeah I am definitely not going to jump off. I have been getting progressively better as I have held these past days. I will probably start making cuts again in a week or so. My taper schedule actually has me finishing probably 13 months from now anyway now that I had to hold. I have been going very slow but it gets very frustrating being cooped up in the house 24/7.

 

I decided to investigate CBD therapy and signed up for a 60% disabled person discount with a company that already has reasonable prices so I am going to get some capsules and see how it goes. It seems clear that I need some additional help and I would rather try to get that from nature than from a prescription pad.

 

Just gotta keep with it. I appreciate everyone’s support, I was starting to feel suicidal when I made my post and I don’t feel that way now. Hopefully my sleep goes back to night at some point but I am adapting to a new schedule of a nap during the afternoon until the evening and I am becoming okay with it. If my taper has taught me one thing, it’s how flexible I can truly be to change.

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I decided to investigate CBD therapy and signed up for a 60% disabled person discount with a company that already has reasonable prices so I am going to get some capsules and see how it goes. It seems clear that I need some additional help and I would rather try to get that from nature than from a prescription pad.

This is something I know about. I'm glad that you're looking into it because my experience is that cannabis and cannabis derived products are the only thing that you can take regularly that will give serious relief without causing big problems. It promotes healing in my experience.

 

Definitely try the capsules if that's what you're comfortable with but I implore you not to give up this line of enquiry if it doesn't work as well as you hoped. It's not the most effective way to ingest CBD and there are other options. The best option is to vaporize hemp flower strains that have been bred to be high in CBD, low in THC. They're legal to buy almost everywhere and there are plenty of legitimate websites you can safely order from. It's the best option because you get the synergistic effect of the >100 cannabinoids that hemp contains in trace amounts. If you really want natural, using the herb itself is always going to be better than a processed product. Just like with food. It's also much more reliable than taking it orally and takes effect within 15 minutes rather than 90+ mins. Oral cannabis products have to be converted in the liver which leads to individual variation. Very little of the CBD you ingest actually gets processed into a usable form as it's only 20% bioavailable at best. Some people don't feel a thing and it puts them off the idea of CBD, which is a shame.

 

The effect is subtle. Far from feeling high, if you're struggling with cognitive symptoms this should help you be more functional. If anybody notices anything it will be that you're more like your old self rather than being high. It sounds like I am selling it but I'm just telling you the truth. I wish I could get everybody who is struggling badly set up with a dry herb vaporizer and a few hemp strains to try. I can see how it seems daunting and there is an initial financial outlay that might put people off especially if they're not sure it will work for them. There's also the problem of stigma and people don't understand that vaporizing is distinct from vaping an e-cig. Vaporizing is heating ground up plant matter in a dry herb vaporizing unit and inhaling the cooled vapour. The health scares from vaping e-cigs are to do with the additives that go in the cartridges.

 

I recommend the subreddits called hempflowers and vaporents. The first one will help you to decide what strain(s) to order from where. The differences are subtle but they are there IME. Since we're so jacked up in our withdrawal state, seeking out strains that are purported to help with insomnia is not a bad place to start. The vaporents subreddit is a good place to start figuring out what vaporizer to get.

 

Please feel free to hit me up with a PM if this interests you but you're struggling to figure it out. I can say it's easy now I'm set up but I remember looking at the array of options when I was trying to get started and wondering what the hell to do. I wasted a bit of money on a vaporizer that I have since upgraded but the outlay has been well worth it. Good luck!

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I decided to investigate CBD therapy and signed up for a 60% disabled person discount with a company that already has reasonable prices so I am going to get some capsules and see how it goes. It seems clear that I need some additional help and I would rather try to get that from nature than from a prescription pad.

This is something I know about. I'm glad that you're looking into it because my experience is that cannabis and cannabis derived products are the only thing that you can take regularly that will give serious relief without causing big problems. It promotes healing in my experience.

 

Definitely try the capsules if that's what you're comfortable with but I implore you not to give up this line of enquiry if it doesn't work as well as you hoped. It's not the most effective way to ingest CBD and there are other options. The best option is to vaporize hemp flower strains that have been bred to be high in CBD, low in THC. They're legal to buy almost everywhere and there are plenty of legitimate websites you can safely order from. It's the best option because you get the synergistic effect of the >100 cannabinoids that hemp contains in trace amounts. If you really want natural, using the herb itself is always going to be better than a processed product. Just like with food. It's also much more reliable than taking it orally and takes effect within 15 minutes rather than 90+ mins. Oral cannabis products have to be converted in the liver which leads to individual variation. Very little of the CBD you ingest actually gets processed into a usable form as it's only 20% bioavailable at best. Some people don't feel a thing and it puts them off the idea of CBD, which is a shame.

 

The effect is subtle. Far from feeling high, if you're struggling with cognitive symptoms this should help you be more functional. If anybody notices anything it will be that you're more like your old self rather than being high. It sounds like I am selling it but I'm just telling you the truth. I wish I could get everybody who is struggling badly set up with a dry herb vaporizer and a few hemp strains to try. I can see how it seems daunting and there is an initial financial outlay that might put people off especially if they're not sure it will work for them. There's also the problem of stigma and people don't understand that vaporizing is distinct from vaping an e-cig. Vaporizing is heating ground up plant matter in a dry herb vaporizing unit and inhaling the cooled vapour. The health scares from vaping e-cigs are to do with the additives that go in the cartridges.

 

I recommend the subreddits called hempflowers and vaporents. The first one will help you to decide what strain(s) to order from where. The differences are subtle but they are there IME. Since we're so jacked up in our withdrawal state, seeking out strains that are purported to help with insomnia is not a bad place to start. The vaporents subreddit is a good place to start figuring out what vaporizer to get.

 

Please feel free to hit me up with a PM if this interests you but you're struggling to figure it out. I can say it's easy now I'm set up but I remember looking at the array of options when I was trying to get started and wondering what the hell to do. I wasted a bit of money on a vaporizer that I have since upgraded but the outlay has been well worth it. Good luck!

 

Yep I found my way to the hempflowers subreddit this weekend and already placed an order for Remedy and after discussing with the vendor in a reddit chat about what CBD flower has done for her own anxiety, she tossed me some samples of some that she really likes as well. 

 

I wasn’t willing to make a large investment from the start so I will start off with my regular old glass pipe from when I tried a few strains some years back (I am in CO so it’s legal) but I didn’t find anything in recreational dispensaries that was less than 2:1 THC:CBD which was way too much.

 

If it goes well, I will go for a dry herb vape device but I’m still not willing to lay out a ton of money. We will see what happens. If I get enough relief, it’s quite possible that’s what I will end up doing.

 

What really strikes me about the stories in that sub are how many people were like me, having panic attacks from THC, and getting amazing relief from hemp flower.

 

I planned to use the CBD  products in addition to the flower because there are plenty who swear by full spectrum CBD extracts too.

 

And yeah, seeing how I got another cortisol spike this morning (it’s 4AM and I got the spike about half an hour ago which interrupted my trying to sleep), I am truly hoping that something helps me with sleep so I don’t have to resort to messing with magnolia or worse, prescriptions.

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I'm lucky in that THC agrees with me. I really like it, actually :laugh:. I'm looking forward to not using it medicinally like I am now because I like getting high but it doesn't really happen even with a break. I'm too familiar with the headspace. I mainly use high CBD hemp as a bridge to attenuate withdrawal symptoms from using regular cannabis when I'm ready to take a break. CBD helps but THC helps me more.

 

That sounds like a very good idea to combine using capsules and a pipe. If you did both immediately before bed, the pipe could help you get to sleep and the capsules would be active for a little longer and might counteract the cortisol spike. I found that I slept longer and got to sleep easier but when I was having the cortisol spikes, I still couldn't sleep through unless I was without a tolerance and took more than I wanted before bed. It wasn't a problem to reach for my vaporizer in the wee small hours. THC would give me no choice but to get back to sleep, CBD would obliterate that yucky feeling and usually I could get back to sleep if I tried.

 

I don't think it's time to jump, by the way. Just to answer your thread title. If you look at my signature, you'll see it took me a while with long holds when I got below 3mg. Lots of people have to do it like that. A little melatonin helps sleep for many people too. Some get put off from taking it because they are misled into taking monster doses. Anything more than 1mg is likely to be too much for anybody. I read somewhere that the optimal dose is 0.3mg which makes the 5mg tablets that you sometimes see look ludicrous. Taking too much actually makes you jolt awake. I would not recommend taking it every day (cannabis and hemp are the only things I can even nearly justify doing that with) but I found it to be a useful tool for once every 10 days or so, breaking a few crumbs off a tablet and melting them under my tongue when I have been rudely awakened in the small hours too many times in a row.

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My first panic attack every involved THC so I am always very nervous about anything to do with it. I have read enough and had enough interactions to believe that CBD flower is an entirely different beast. I used to like THC when I was younger but I quit for 9 months and it was never the same when I picked it up again.

 

These cortisol spikes are awful. They keep me amped up too much to fall asleep until around 10 or 11 in the morning and then I am so drained I won’t wake up until the evening. Really not happy with this new development. I would be very happy if the flower helps with it.

 

As for melatonin, I honestly never got along that well with it. It actually caused me to hallucinate a few times when I was younger. My brain is weird...

 

I am definitely not jumping. It would be seriously awful if I did. 99% likely that my taper would end in failure and my current psych is definitely not someone who will let me just go back to a maintenance dose. I have to stick with it now.

 

Looking at all of these vapes, there aren’t many that are good for someone like me who doesn’t want to burn a whole bowl in one sitting. I do have a decent vape mod from when I was vaping nicotine, maybe I should just get a Stempod SI and not fill the bowl.

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You might be surprised. The bowl tends not to be very big, especially on the portable ones. Big enough for a pinch and that's it. I tend to take 2-3 bowls at a time of THC cannabis and I'm not that heavy a user.

 

While it's true that they are designed to vaporize a whole bowl in one session, you won't lose out that much if you half finish a bowl and put aside the material for later. It's still far more economical than combustion. Also, you won't miss out on the health benefits from the various terpenes and trace cannabinoids that get obliterated by combustion. This article gives some detail about that if you're interested. It's actually possible to calibrate the effects which is great for cannabis nerds as well as people like us. You could, for example, vaporize at around 360 degrees during the daytime and at higher temperatures before bed. The reason you'd do this is that both CBN and Linalool are particularly sedating and they are activated when heated to 365 degrees and 388 degrees respectively. CBD (amongst other things) is activated at 356 degrees. That's the theory. Really you'll stumble on what works for you through experimentation.

 

Enough of the hard sell!  :D

 

Please let us know how you get on!

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THC:CBD 1:1 edibles and vape help me immensely. I'm currently at 4MG Diazepam a day...down from 22. dropping 1mg a month...and I'm really starting to feel withdrawal as well. (This passed week I tried to rush it and took 3mg a day)
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