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Feeling really low with a wave and its scaring me.


[Wh...]

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So I feel so terrible bothering my husband all the time about this and I dont know where to turn.

 

I was living bearable-ly for a month. I just got into my sixth month. I dipped super low to where it felt like parts of my brain shut off. This wave makes me feel super disconnected from everything. Like I know I do care about things but something in my brain is not allowing me to care.

 

I also have tinnutis non stop, and I think the thing which scares me the most is I have either really tense muscles through my whole body! Even my face and tongue. It feels like random goosebumps.. or skin crawling on parts of my body.. it's like my body forgot how to understand what comfort was.

 

I went to get a physical check up and doctors found nothing wrong and I am so tired of being unwell.

 

Every night I write in my journal and I cry about how I feel. Then I ask my husband for the millionth time if I will be ok. He says yes.

 

Then I go to sleep and the cycle begins again.

I'm in so much physical discomfort and mental not caring I'm afraid I'll be this way permanently.

 

Just need some kind words while I get through this wave.

 

Thank you. Hope you are doing well

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[d7...]

You will get through this wave, the next and then the one after.  I promise that you will.  Healing from this is not linear, I have learned that...when I accept I am “sick,” and just have to cope the best I can. 

 

You are so blessed to have your husband with you.  He loves you, he sounds like he is supportive.

 

Hang in there :)

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So many of us can related to what you've written here.  I'm sorry you're suffering with these awful symptoms.  We need so much reassurance when we're in a wave - our brain in withdrawal tells us we will never feel better again.  We feel so vulnerable and then we feel bad for feeling so needy.  Members here understand what you're feeling so please reach out whenever you need support.

 

When you say it's like your body forgot how to understand what comfort was - it's actually true in some ways - our systems have to re-learn how to find equilibrium after being disrupted by benzos.  But that is exactly what our systems are doing , recovering and healing.

 

Have you read this piece? I found reading it very comforting.  I read it again and again.  What's happening inside your brain

 

Fiercelady is so right,  healing isn't linear; it zigs and zags; some describe it as a rollercoaster.  We have to roll with it and develop ways of calming ourselves.  It's fantastic you're focusing on healthy habits. Self care is crucial.

 

Wishing you much strength and healing,

Brighterday

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So many of us can related to what you've written here.  I'm sorry you're suffering with these awful symptoms.  We need so much reassurance when we're in a wave - our brain in withdrawal tells us we will never feel better again.  We feel so vulnerable and then we feel bad for feeling so needy.  Members here understand what you're feeling so please reach out whenever you need support.

 

When you say it's like your body forgot how to understand what comfort was - it's actually true in some ways - our systems have to re-learn how to find equilibrium after being disrupted by benzos.  But that is exactly what our systems are doing , recovering and healing.

 

Have you read this piece? I found reading it very comforting.  I read it again and again.  What's happening inside your brain

 

Fiercelady is so right,  healing isn't linear; it zigs and zags; some describe it as a rollercoaster.  We have to roll with it and develop ways of calming ourselves.  It's fantastic you're focusing on healthy habits. Self care is crucial.

 

Wishing you much strength and healing,

Brighterday

 

This is the most wonderful thing I have ever read. I can't do anything for what's going on but eat healthy, do gentle exercises and just wait it all out.

 

I will read this before bed ♡

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Hey Whatisthis

I really hope this wave of yours doesn't last too long. Fiercelady and Brighterday are right, you will get through this and you will get better. Just hang in there.

If that can be of comfort, you're not on your own. I was making decent progress in months 4 and 5 and then came month 6... I'm presently surfing a nasty wave.

Being patient, taking it easy, having a daily routine with some mild exercise (walking briskly) and activities to keep you distracted is the way to go until you reach homeostasis again.

Also, I know for a fact that I have had good days where I caught myself thinking: "I'm going in the right direction, I'm getting much better, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel" so I know I will get to experience some of those days again...

SG

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Hey Whatisthis

I really hope this wave of yours doesn't last too long. Fiercelady and Brighterday are right, you will get through this and you will get better. Just hang in there.

If that can be of comfort, you're not on your own. I was making decent progress in months 4 and 5 and then came month 6... I'm presently surfing a nasty wave.

Being patient, taking it easy, having a daily routine with some mild exercise (walking briskly) and activities to keep you distracted is the way to go until you reach homeostasis again.

Also, I know for a fact that I have had good days where I caught myself thinking: "I'm going in the right direction, I'm getting much better, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel" so I know I will get to experience some of those days again...

SG

 

I was pretty excited I think a week ago I got a window. I actually was feeling things. Then this wave was not very nice. As they say one day at a time

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[de...]
Months 4-14 were so hard for me. I remeber my 6th month. I had such low moods and intrusive thoughts. I was so scared that I wouldnt live to see my daughters grow up. Our brains lie to us in withdrawal, and it can be so hard to get through a wave. I would have a window and I would tell myself to remeber this feeling; but then a wave would come and I literally couldn't remember feeling better. Our brains trick us when we are down. Hold on please. After 14 months I felt a change. My baseline improved and even though I am under stress, 2 young daughters, selling our house, moving, covid,etc. Even with all that extra stress I am handling it better than I ever could have at 6 months. I see the difference, I see me starting to come back. Hang on. The first year is incredibly hard. Be proud of yourself for getting through the day.
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