OCD

[[Fo...]]

Hi there, I was on Diazepam and Temazepam for about 30 years and have taken three years to come off completely.  I've now been clean for seven months and thought I was doing pretty well.  Throughout my withdrawal I had insomnia, panic attacks, anxiety, depression and body trembles amongst other things.  Now the worst side effect I have is OCD with checking everything before I go to bed.  It's an absolute nightmare, the worst is checking whether the cooker is off, the doors are locked and nothing on the heaters for them to overheat.  I find I'm just staring at things and it won't register, and I have to keep checking and staring for ages.  Instead of it getting better it seems to be getting worse.  I was hoping it would go away but no such luck.  I try to tell myself that no matter how long I stare at things, they won't change.  It's like my brain won't believe what I'm seeing.  Is this the result of the benzos destroying some neurotransmitters to my brain!  Has anyone else suffered with this at all please?

[[Pa...]]

Hi Forestgirl,

 

I was looking at your first post on BenzoBuddies in 2018 and you mentioned that while you were still on Diazepam and Temazepam you had moments when you went blank, has this increased since you tapered or is it about the same?  Did you notice any OCD tendencies while you were still taking the benzo's?

 

Have you researched ways to combat what you're feeling, perhaps meditation or cognitive behavior therapy?  The fact that you recognize this behavior is good but I'm sure it's very distressing.

 

I don't have any experience with this but hopefully someone who understands it will drop by.

 

Pamster

[[ea...]]

I have been om BB for over 7 years now.

I see now that I always had some OCD stuff. I tend to repeat things that feel okay to me, such as benzos, alcohol, eating, etc.

But this all got a lot worse after going through benzo wd. I became OCD about cleaning. I ad never given a crap about cleaning before. But benzo wd brought this out in me. I look back now and see I felt I needed to "clean up my life." So I did, first by cleaning my own home. Over my life I hav e had several brushes with OCD stuff, checking door locks, the stove, etc. But this all got worse during benzo and SSRI withdrawal.

 

You and I have some similarities I took benzos nightly for thirty years. For the last 12 years I also took two SSRIs, to treat the depression caused BY the damn benzos.

 

Listen to me, Forestgirl. Everything you t is so scary and sad, to feel so alone.

 

Tell me why you choose your screen name? It is so lovely!

east