Body seems out of synch and Big Battle

[[tw...]]

If you'll bear with me, this is how I taper: A month at new level (say 1 mg) then I start to reduce with 1.75 every 4 days for a week, then every 3 days for a week, etc. so it takes me a month to go down .25 and then I stay there for a month before tapering again. I'm now working down to 1 mg. Three days ago I took 1, the next two days I took 1.25. I feel worse today after the second dose of 1.25. I know this last stretch is the worst part of the taper, but wouldn't I get relief on the days I took 1.25 - instead of feeling worse than the day I took 1 mg? Sorry, I know that's a pain to follow.

 

Also, my brain seems out to get me big time as I near the end (which will likely take another 6-8 months!) Most of my energy goes to just trying to stay alive another day. (Physical symptoms are really minor - just heart racing almost daily and a little nausea here and there.) The mental battle is scary and constant. There are real-life circumstances that would be alarming me anyway, and it's frustrating not to know what's the taper and what's real life.