Forced to Taper Rapidly & Very Scared, Alone 😰

[[Oc...]]

Hi everyone,

 

The weekend before last, I was in the emergency room with severe clonazepam withdrawal symptoms including tachycardia (150+ bpm) tremors and truly feeling I wasn't going to survive. Thankfully, the attending PA not only quickly ordered the nightshift nurse to give me clonazepam, but after my bp and tachycardia normalized he spoke to me about how dangerous going cold turkey was and prescribed 6 a given to tide me over until my refill (which was 3 days out) was ready. It's my very last refill and I don't get the chance to see the prescribing psychiatrist until May. She only sees me every 3-4 months and stays booked 2-3 months out so getting an emergency appointment isn't possible. Also, I'm on Medicaid and there's very few psychiatrists in my rural area that even take it, and when I checked to see if any of those accepted patients taking a benzo none were willing to accept new patients that were "complicated cases" (I'm not making this up, but wish I were)

 

Where I'll be very lucky if her nurse will call refills into the pharmacy. I can't bank on that. The last time I saw my psychiatrist, she was still anxious to take me off of or at least greatly lower my Klonopin dosage. Initially, I was taking 3mg, or 1mg three times a day. With no warning, about three months ago that was abruptly cut in half. I had to beg to stay on any at all. The reason, she said, was that her practice was now managed and general scrutiny.

 

I know after reading forum rules that my post likely borders on badmouthing doctors and stopping benzos, and apologize. I'm completely alone in this and after unspeakable life circumstances it made life livable and I went from being too frightened to walk outside or even capable of taking care of my then young autistic twins to being able to return to school, take care of my special needs children and more. Now, I'm spiraling back to where I started but with withdrawal plus the looming fear of having no where to turn or medical help when/if I can't get a refill to continue what I thought was a taper without being suddenly taken off without even having my doctor speak to me first. It is very unlike her to not allow me enough refills between appointments, so this was unexpected. I will definitely update, if this post is even approved, of my situation. My only hope is that next Thursday the nurse is available and will get a refill approved. Atm I'm taking less than I can function on, and hope to goodness I can just be a part of a group of people that know what it's particularly like to be in agony and put in the situation of benzo withdrawal, since I know I can't be the only person that didn't agree on it and depended on their medication for years.

 

I know my post barely explains why I'm in such a fix, it's just difficult to put into perspective since I was doing quite well for the past 7 years then my psychiatrist, who I started going to in 2016. I have a very small family that has zero sympathy for what withdrawal is doing to me  and refuses to make it easier, much less consider me worth the effort of being put out in any way, if that helps one understand at all. I do have preteen autistic twins that depend on me functioning, still need help with everyday hygiene and life skills, and my husband is a heart patient and very selfish, and never gives me the time of day. Hope I haven't burdened whoever has to read and decide whether this post is acceptable.

[[Pa...]]

Hello OcarinaofTime, Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through, we know the exquisite pain you've been in, we also know the helplessness and despair you're living with.  We have many members who are being forced off of their legally prescribed and never abused drugs, its horrible they way they and you are being treated.

 

You've found the right place for understanding and help, but I can see you are in a bad way, I dearly hope you can get some pills to taper with, otherwise I'm sure you'll be back in the ER and we don't wish to see that.

 

Please take a look at our taper methods located here and try to figure out what one might work for you. Since you need to stay functional for your boys, you should taper slowly, but if you don't have enough to do this, we can figure out a faster way.  Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper Plans)

 

If you'd like to interact with others who can speak to your symptoms, please start a thread on the Withdrawal Support (during your taper) board, we're here for you.

 

Please let us know how we can assist you.

 

Pamster