is there anything at all that can help me through this?

[[ch...]]

I am now almost 9 weeks free of valium after many months of very hard  taper from just 4mgs of valium

 

My fear levels are so high and rising. My hands are so numb, I have been to the Doctor to check and had blood tests,  which were normal 

 

I have to be able to function as the household is collapsing, 

 

I cannot  seem to do anything with this terror that is gripping me.

 

It usually eases in the evening a little but not tonight and all day has been so very bad, 

 

I never get a let up  in it. 

 

Is there anything that will help at all that wont effect my recovery, 

 

I take no other drugs or supplements,

 

I am careful what I eat and mainly drink plain water.

 

I need a way to get through this to a place of healing,  I have never felt the awful fear as strongly as this,

 

I have been walking each day to try and help it, but nothing is working as yet.

 

I cannot seem to distract it's so powerful 

 

My hearing is giving such trouble too,  I feel as if I wont make it out alive, but I know that is how people can feel

 

I just want to find me again and take care of the home and my son again

 

I do my EFT tapping, I do my breathing , I do my walking, Not sure what else I can do to start to function on some level at least

 

I would be grateful of any help at all.

 

I am 61 days off today .

 

 

Thank you

 

Jen 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[50...]]

i don't know if it is the supplements i'm taking or that i made it to the 6 month mark now. but i take lithium oratate and lion's mane mushroom (2gram) and feeling very calm.

[[Me...]]

Ummm I have no idea because I’m in the same boat

My physical symptoms are gone but I have this awful “chemical fear” of like everything

 

I’m too scared to take supplements or medication

[[ch...]]

i don't know if it is the supplements i'm taking or that i made it to the 6 month mark now. but i take lithium oratate and lion's mane mushroom (2gram) and feeling very calm.

 

 

Thank you for replying

 

I am not sure what to do.

 

I am glad you are feeling super calm. How I long to feel that way again.

 

I am afraid of some of these supplements though  ,

 

I am trying to get through without anything, but I really do have to find a way forward.

 

I know I have to start functioning here, There is a lot of pressure on me to take over the caring and household, 

 

Did you feel any great difference when you took the supplements to begin with or do you think perhaps it's just time that has made the difference?

 

I know I have to hang on, but my life doesn't seem to know that at this moment. 

 

Thank you again

 

Jen

[[ch...]]

Ummm I have no idea because I’m in the same boat

My physical symptoms are gone but I have this awful “chemical fear” of like everything

 

I’m too scared to take supplements or medication

 

 

I am sorry to hear you have this chemical fear too.

 

I really need for it to shift,  I know I cannot hurry the process but I do have to find a way somehow,

 

I am like you in that I am scared of supplements and medication, but how to get over this , I don't know.

 

I really had hoped the walking would help but it's not doing so today, 

 

I didn't think this could get worse, but it has, and  truly I need to start doing what I used to before all of this.

 

I hope we both find a solution Megan .

 

Do let me know if you do

 

jen

[[fe...]]

Hi Chin,

 

Things will die down eventually.  The post-withdrawal process has a way of making you feel like you're passing through literal hell (I've never experienced anything worse than this in my life).  However I felt my absolute worst a few months after I finished my taper.  It took several more months for things to calm down to a point where I only felt like 75% hell.  With some spikes in there along the way.  The point is, time will help but do what you can to take care of your soul in the meantime.  Tell yourself good things: "I have a reason to hope; there are thousands of others who have succeeded before me."  This won't be forever.

[[50...]]

i can't tell empirically if supplements made a difference. i know prozac did

[[ch...]]

Hi Chin,

 

Things will die down eventually.  The post-withdrawal process has a way of making you feel like you're passing through literal hell (I've never experienced anything worse than this in my life).  However I felt my absolute worst a few months after I finished my taper.  It took several more months for things to calm down to a point where I only felt like 75% hell.  With some spikes in there along the way.  The point is, time will help but do what you can to take care of your soul in the meantime.  Tell yourself good things: "I have a reason to hope; there are thousands of others who have succeeded before me."  This won't be for

 

ever

 

 

 

Thank you so much  for your message.

 

Yes it surely does feel like passing through hell. 

 

I see you have been off the benzo for over 12 months now,  Well done you.

 

So you found the first few months really bad,

 

How are you now?  I hope a little better than the 75% in hell, 

 

I really did not think I would or could get worse, but I have and now there is a crisis going on here, and I somehow need to be functional which I am so far from as yet.

 

Healing from this drug doesn't seem to care what crisis might be happening I am afraid to say

 

So here I am in this predicament, Wanting to do all I am expected to do but knowing I am very far from ready.

 

Trouble is to look at me you would not say I look so desperately ill that I cannot function,  yet I am.

 

And so it is expected of me to take over the house running and my disabled son's care,  when I can only just take care of myself. 

 

Maybe tomorrow will send me a window so that I can cope, but I am not holding my breath as I haven't had one yet,  more is the pity,

 

I need something to let me know I am healing

 

 

Thank you again

 

Jen

 

 

[[ch...]]

i can't tell empirically if supplements made a difference. i know prozac did

 

 

Yes I know that people can have some success with AD's. Prozac seems to help a few people especially with anxiety.

 

However I am was not able to tolerate citalopram, when I tried it in September 2018    just one tablet, and I was spiralling into fear and panic with a lot of dry heaving,  That was in hospital , and from there it was decided I could not take an SSRI,

 

I really don't know if Prozac is any different, but I am very glad it helped you .

 

Did you not have any start up problems? How long before it started to help you and how long have you been on it?

 

I am trying to move forward without any drugs or supplements,  but I am at a crisis point at the moment

 

I hope that by tomorrow a miracle has happened I get my first window,  I really could use one right now.  I have to try and stay positive.

 

I have been hit so hard, and I just need a little improvement to help me get going again.

 

 

Thank you so much

 

Jen

 

 

[[50...]]

i can't tell empirically if supplements made a difference. i know prozac did

 

 

Yes I know that people can have some success with AD's. Prozac seems to help a few people especially with anxiety.

 

However I am was not able to tolerate citalopram, when I tried it in September 2018    just one tablet, and I was spiralling into fear and panic with a lot of dry heaving,  That was in hospital , and from there it was decided I could not take an SSRI,

 

I really don't know if Prozac is any different, but I am very glad it helped you .

 

Did you not have any start up problems? How long before it started to help you and how long have you been on it?

 

I am trying to move forward without any drugs or supplements,  but I am at a crisis point at the moment

 

I hope that by tomorrow a miracle has happened I get my first window,  I really could use one right now.  I have to try and stay positive.

 

I have been hit so hard, and I just need a little improvement to help me get going again.

 

 

Thank you so much

 

Jen

 

i started feeling lexx anxious on the 4th day and more so as the days went on... yah the first few days seemed like symptoms revved up a bit. super vivid dreams... but only a couple of days

[[sh...]]

Things will get better as time passes. Your brain is taking its time to rebuild and reconnect. Just remind yourself this is just a symptom just like the muscle pain, head ache, numbness and many other symptoms withdrawal might causes. You are going to get better. It may take 4, 6, 8, 12 weeks to feel improvement after tapering as described in the Ashton Manual detailing the progression of patients upon follow up. Some people heal faster than others. The fear will go away eventually, it may come and go for a while but will leave eventually. Try to do progressive muscle relaxation exercises, meditation, listen to soothing music, gentle massage, gentle reassuring hug from a family member or friend, soothing environment, less clutter or visual stimulation, aroma therapy. Anything what can give your senses the feedback that things are ok around you. Comfy bed, fluffy blanket, warm,... feed all your senses with peace and gentle care. I know it is easier to say than done but it will help. Your senses are hyper sensitive so do not force yourself to do anything, try to stay away from stress, from people who make you anxious, tasks you feel burdening you, you need time to heal. It is exhausting but you came a long way, tomorrow will be better.

[[...]]

If you do not want to take supplements, I recommend decaffeinated black tea (it helps me reduce anxiety due to overfocus on symptoms).

 

If you will take supplements, I use L'Theanine (which is in decaffeinated black tea) and Chamomile and Magnesium Glycinate.

 

In time, you will feel better.  It does take time.

[Guest [Pa...]]

i don't know if it is the supplements i'm taking or that i made it to the 6 month mark now. but i take lithium oratate and lion's mane mushroom (2gram) and feeling very calm.

 

How's the lions mane?

[[50...]]

i don't know if it is the supplements i'm taking or that i made it to the 6 month mark now. but i take lithium oratate and lion's mane mushroom (2gram) and feeling very calm.

 

How's the lions mane?

 

i've been feeling a lot better since i started taking it. i take twice the dose that is recommended

[[fe...]]

Hi Chin,

 

Things will die down eventually.  The post-withdrawal process has a way of making you feel like you're passing through literal hell (I've never experienced anything worse than this in my life).  However I felt my absolute worst a few months after I finished my taper.  It took several more months for things to calm down to a point where I only felt like 75% hell.  With some spikes in there along the way.  The point is, time will help but do what you can to take care of your soul in the meantime.  Tell yourself good things: "I have a reason to hope; there are thousands of others who have succeeded before me."  This won't be for

 

ever

 

Thank you so much  for your message.

 

Yes it surely does feel like passing through hell. 

 

I see you have been off the benzo for over 12 months now,  Well done you.

 

So you found the first few months really bad,

 

How are you now?  I hope a little better than the 75% in hell, 

 

I really did not think I would or could get worse, but I have and now there is a crisis going on here, and I somehow need to be functional which I am so far from as yet.

 

Healing from this drug doesn't seem to care what crisis might be happening I am afraid to say

 

So here I am in this predicament, Wanting to do all I am expected to do but knowing I am very far from ready.

 

Trouble is to look at me you would not say I look so desperately ill that I cannot function,  yet I am.

 

And so it is expected of me to take over the house running and my disabled son's care,  when I can only just take care of myself. 

 

Maybe tomorrow will send me a window so that I can cope, but I am not holding my breath as I haven't had one yet,  more is the pity,

 

I need something to let me know I am healing

 

 

Thank you again

 

Jen

 

Hi Chin,

 

Thank you for the kind words.  I'm sorry I didn't respond to this until now; I am in a moment where I feel like, once again I'm in 100% hell.  It's a wave though, and I know it'll pass.  There have been plenty of times where the intensity of symptoms is reduced a lot.  But we don't notice how relatively better we felt until a wave comes back again.  Mostly because when we're uncomfortable, we focus on what is uncomfortable at the time.  Someone told me to try to measure progress through the things you are capable of doing.  At 4 months, I was bedridden for weeks.  Now, I'm back at work, and trying to be more interactive with my family.

 

But having to deal with it and external responsibilities (like working and taking care of a family) is very difficult.  I know how you feel; sometimes the only thing you can do is to acknowledge to yourself during the day that, even if we were doing nothing at all, we'd be feeling the exact same.  So might as well live, right?  We might as well get up and be the person we want to be while that person catches up with us during recovery.  And I've certainly tried doing nothing but laying in bed.  I can confirm that, at least for me, doing that leaves me alone with my thoughts and makes me that much more prone to panic attacks.

[[ch...]]

Sorry to bring this back to the top again.

I feel this chemical terror is getting the better of me .

9 and half weeks off now and it gets worse, not better.

I really wish I could make it stop somehow,

I try so hard to distract from it but it's so over powering, 

It hits hardest at 9-10am and stays strong  then ramps higher at around 1-2pm as now and is unbearable.

How do I get through it? 

Is this normal at this stage?

I feel as if I am not going to heal as no one can live with this  just impossible.

I started with anxiety and now I worry that's the problem. There is nothing I can do to help as I cannot take and AD  I react badly to them now and I cannot  go back on the valium as it made me so very ill.

I really am lost .

I have done my walks today but still no relief,

I don't know how to help myself.

Has anyone else felt like this and managed to heal and feel better?

I think having the original anxiety is making me worse.

I have such numbness going on too which worries me but have seen the Doctor twice about it and they seem unconcerned after doing some basic tests and bloods.

So sorry to keep on about it, but this is really unbearable and can't seem to distract.

I do EFT tapping and breathing exercises but nothing touches this..

Help please I am too old at almost 75,  and not sure which way to go to ease this down and not mess my recovery.

 

Thank you all who reply

 

Jen 

 

 

[[fe...]]

Hi Chin,

 

I'm going to tell you something that is going to be hard to hear:  there's nothing that you can do to make it better.  The only thing you can do is wait it out and be as healthy as you can.  The pain and terror does go away.  But during the worst waves you will be absolutely convinced that you are living in hell.  But be assured that time will alleviate the symptoms.  Things will get better.  I was in your same situation at the 4 month mark.  Nearly suicidal because of how bad it was.  But someone told me something very important: "stay the course, because your future healthy self is rooting for you".

 

Also know that this kind of pain spans age, gender, relative health, etc.  It hurts everyone all the same.  It can reduce a healthy man like me to a crying ball in the corner of the room.

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is tell your body that it's ok to be feeling this pain.  That it's not going to be like this forever.  Acknowledge to yourself that you are hurting; don't try to fight it.  Accept it instead, and treat your body very gently while it's going through this process.  The hell is absolute, but know that there is an opening at the end of the tunnel.

 

You can do this.  You already are doing this.  You've already proved that you can come off this medication and not be shackled by it.  You have the strength to finish it.

 

-feathercap

[[ea...]]

Feathercap, really great post and very true. Chin has had a rough time of it, doing a very long taper which has not seemed to help her withdrawal at all. I feel for her. ALL of us make our decisions, depending on what we think we know about benzos. But in the end, its all a crapshoot. You cannot predict how YOUR brain will react to going off benzos.

east