New to Forum, been on Klonopin for 30 years

[[li...]]

Hi all,

I watched Lisa Ling's show on Benzo's tonight & it brought to light the worries I've ignored for years- your forum was mentioned on the show & that's what led me here. I have been on Klonopin for 30 years. My doctor started me on it for panic attacks & anxiety disorder 30 yrs ago. I was also put on it for a damaged nerve in my inner ear.

 

I began on 2 mg's of Klonopin around 1999 and since then it's been slowly increased because my anxiety went from occasional to chronic. I'm currently allowed to take up to 4 mgs of Klonopin/day & I have xanax for break through anxiety. My xanax is .5-1 mg per day as needed. I don't take the xanax daily but I generally take 3-3.5 mgs of Klonopin per day. On a bad day I have taken 4 mgs of Klonopin.

 

Her show scared me tonight. I had no idea that people were experiencing much of what I do. I just thought my anxiety grew worse with perimenopause and menopause. I have no clue where to begin if I wanted to taper since I am taking so much and have been on it for many, many years. I truly am scared. I developed Agoraphobia about 3 years ago. I can still leave my home but it's becoming harder & harder. It's even hard to leave and go to visit my family out of town. I'm okay just going to the store, as long as I'm going somewhere close to home.  I never had depression until approx. 9 years ago and it seems it just keeps getting worse. I get internal shaking, legs that feel like jelly and I have lost my lust for life. I'm not suicidal but I find that the things I used to look forward to, no longer give me pleasure.

 

My increases in dosage were over the last 15 yrs and I have gained 25 lbs in 10 yrs or so. I've also attributed that to menopause, but I have to wonder if the higher dose I'm on is a contributing factor?

 

I feel defeated and angry. I had no idea that my Klonopin (benzos) caused all the side effects Lisa Ling noted on her show until I watched it. I do remember my Psychiatrist telling me that to try and go off of Klonopin at my age could be deadly. I am 58 yrs old now.

 

I will leave it here for now, I don't want to overwhelm people. Just writing about this gives me anxiety. Would appreciate input and thank you in advance!

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Hi lisalways Welcome to Benzobuddies

 

You've come to the right place for support and information related to tapering benzodiazepines. I suggest you do some research first before you decide on a taper plan.  Many of us feel that benzos create more anxiety,  my anxiety was extreme when I arrived.  I was 26 years on diazepam, I was housebound /agoraphobic. Dont feel defeated!! and let go off the anger,  you can do this, life really does get better!    We have a great community here of knowledgeable and friendly people who understand this process. Feel free to ask questions so that members can respond.

 

Benzos need to be tapered slowly, taper one drug at a time. For tapering advice its generally recommended that you cut your daily dose by between 5% and 10% every 10 - 14 days according to how you are feeling.  If things feel too tough then we suggest that you cut less.  The aim is to try and keep any symptoms manageable.

 

The  Ashton Manual  is a great resource for understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body.  It provides Tapering and withdrawal information and includes a list of common symptoms 

 

Here are some helpful links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

General Taper Plans   

Withdrawal Support

 

You might like to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice.  Go to the top of the page and select PROFILE then choose forum profile then insert drug history into the text box and remember to click change profile

 

Welcome aboard

Magrita

 

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Welcome! I'm glad you found us. I recently finished my taper at age 60. I could not have done it without the information and validation I received on this forum. Spend some time exploring the site and you will find many resources to help you taper off successfully. You will make it and it will be worth it!

 

Gardie

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I want to welcome you and tell you, first, try to let go of the fear. What you found out by watching this show may sound scary, but the fact that you know now, is a good thing. When I found out what had caused all the things you speak of, things that I had also experienced in my seventeen years of klonopin use, at least I knew there was a way to reclaim my life. It was somewhat of a relief for me to be able to identify. The

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Sorry, my iPad locked. I meant to say it was nice to be able to identify the “bad guy” and find out it wasn’t me. If I had to start a taper from k after long term use, I would start with extremely slow microtapering. I made big cuts at the start and that may have been what made my taper harder than it would have been otherwise. I did taper over a year, and stabilized enough to avoid the very worst. I might have been able to function better had I made a more conservative start. That said, I am off, I am ok, and I am very slowly healing. And, if you knew me, you would know I am no superhero. So, when I say, don’t be afraid, you should listen. Love, Espy

[[li...]]

Hi everyone,

Thank you SO much for your responses! It's good to know I'm not alone, although I wouldn't wish this on anyone.  I know my Dr. did what he felt was best at the time & my Dr. I had for the last 15 yrs (he took a job in another town) well, he thought if he could add an SSRI or SNRI it would help the anxiety & also help me to decrease somewhat. I wasn't able to take any SSRI or SNRI, I had severe reactions to them. My new Psychiatrist did genomic testing and sure enough, I can't take them. So, he told me to just continue with my Klonopin and he would continue to give me xanax for breakthrough anxiety.

 

I must admit, since I don't use the xanax daily (I chose not to on purpose) so my body didn't develop a tolerance so to speak, it does help if I have to go somewhere and my anxiety is bad.

 

Margrita, thanks for sharing the links. I will look at all of them. I keep reading about the Ashton Method, does this seem to work best for people who've been on higher doses for years?

 

Gardener99 thanks for sharing your story, I didn't understand many of the abbreviations you shared? Congrats on being free from benzos for almost 2 months now... how do you feel?

 

Esperanza, congrats to you as well! How many mg's of Klonopin were you on?

 

Does Klonopin come in liquid form if a person wants to taper extremely slow?

 

Just getting out of bed is hard for me. I think I've subconsciously trained my brain to stay up late- for some reason I feel the least anxious after midnight, so I've become an insomniac and then I sleep until 1-2 pm which is depressing within itself. If I get up earlier, I am prone to major panic attacks & deep muscle/bone type pain, has anyone else experienced body pain from lack of sleep?

 

I'm going to try and add a signature now.

 

Sorry this was so long & thanks in advance if anyone can answer my questions.

 

It's nice to know I'm not alone. It's a lonely life on Klonopin, I've been withdrawing from others a lot over the past 2 years which is not like me. I've always been a social butterfly. I need to  get better, my husband has a lot of health issues which require frequent trips to a major hospital. He needs me but he's been extremely understanding even though I know my sleeping habits make him sad.

 

Again, thank you all!

 

 

[[ga...]]

Hi Lisa. I'm glad you are here and reading. I should tell you this is the Introductions board. It doesn't get much traffic. You are best clicking on one of the links magrita gave you to bring you to Taper Plans or Withdrawal Support. You will find lots more people there to answer your questions.

 

I can tell you now that the benzos can and do cause increasing anxiety. You may find yourself much better after you taper off if you taper correctly. Read and ask questions. Make a plan. You will succeed. Also, check this out: Easier Taper Support Group. A well-informed and well-planned taper does not have to be hell. Unfortunately, the medical community damages a lot of people before they figure out what a proper taper is.

 

Just explore the boards, too; read the rules and such if your brain is up to it. Many of us were not up to that when we joined so the mods give out the most helpful pages to new people. I always suggest reading the pins at the top of the boards. The pinned posts are pinned by the moderators because they are found to be reliable and helpful. We are a peer support forum, not a moderator-driven forum. We do get the occasional troll, so be cautious about believing everything you read. You will get to know people on here and will learn who you can trust.

 

I'm not sure which abbreviations you mean. In my signature? That's because I used up all the allowed characters and had to start cutting words down. L = Librium, a benzo similar to Valium. Q = Seroquel, a med sometimes used off-label for sleep disturbance. I also take gabapentin for nerve pain but just made my first cut to that last night as a test of sorts. I plan to get off of everything. I chose the benzo first because it was doing me zero good and tons of harm.

 

Being on this forum and knowing I was not alone made all the difference for me. My prescribers were also very ignorant. I also have genetic problems so can't take a lot of meds, including AD, but it is just as well. There's another forum (survivingantidepressants.org) dedicated to helping people get off of them!

 

I have been helped through this journey by mindfulness-based stress reduction. (MBSR) If you google that you will find a lot of info. Jon Kabat-Zinn was a pioneer of it in this country. You will also find info on the Alternative Therapies board.

 

Best wishes to you. Hope to see you out on the main forum! I hang out on Easier Taper so maybe I'll see you there.

 

Gardie

[[es...]]

Klonopin is available in compounded liquid in the US. Doc just has to send it to a compounding pharmacy. Espy

[[li...]]

Hi Esperanza & Gardener99

Thanks for your input.

I will check out the other forums.

I've been reading but for some reason my brain has a hard time comprehending what I read if it's lengthy.

I used to read at least 12 novels per year. My husband said he misses seeing me read in bed at night, I would fall asleep like a baby after reading. I can't read more than a page or two of ANYTHING anymore.

Again thank you & I will just take my time, not pressuring myself.

Main goal: health & getting off these drugs.

[[es...]]

It takes its toll on the old reading level, as well. But, that is just temporary. Espy