Reflux withdrawal

[[fe...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I've had the benefit of reading many of your stories as I've been going through intense protracted withdrawal myself over the past year (9 months fully off of Klonopin after having taken it for 2 years straight, daily).  Your success stories, as well as your descriptions of some of the awful things that happen during withdrawal, have helped me immeasurably.  I couldn't imagine continuing as I did, without relapsing, without some knowledge of these symptoms being "normal" for withdrawal.  Sometimes its good to know insanity is normal for a time. :-)

 

I decided that now, in the middle of one of my worst waves, I should actually join this forum and contribute to the brain trust here.  There's a lot of information that I can give about my withdrawal, which I won't do in the introduction here, but in other more relevant parts of the forum.  But I've had mostly physical symptoms: intense, unending reflux (GERD) and breathing problems as a result of that.  I have had the common psychological ones as well (derealization, depersonalization, panic attacks, generalized anxiety) but I seem to have drawn a different straw: they didn't come close to the intensity of my physical symptoms.

 

I have had problems sleeping in bed because my reflux boils up into my lungs.  Sometimes, when waves pass, I can go back to sleeping in bed and its almost as if I never had problems to begin with.  But like right now, in the middle of this wave, I'm back on the recliner, sleeping upright so my reflux doesn't choke me in my sleep.  I know of a few others with this same phenomenon on this website: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=172047.0.  It doesn't seem to be widely reported, but I am another data point in that rare statistic.  I hope to contact these others who are in similar phases of recovery and ask if things eventually got better for them.  Most others with this same symptomology look like they come online, post the problem, and then when nobody else here can state they've had the same problem, they leave without much of an update.  I don't blame them; one has to go where the answers are.  I just hope to contact them and get some idea of how long they continued to have these issues.

 

I will present my case as well.  I was prescribed this drug for wholly physical problems (also rare) and the doctor had no plan for me coming off of it when I had surgery to correct the physical defect (Linx implant on my lower esophageal sphincter to correct nerve damage there).  My other doctors saw no need for me to be on them anymore, so I just decided to cold turkey it one day.  After 5 days I was hospitalized for critically low potassium (you need that for your heart to keep pumping!).  My attending at the hospital told me I had levels so low I could have died instantly, any time.  Good to know.

 

So, over the course of 7 months, I controlled taper down to zero and had a lot of symptoms, some reflux, some psychological, but none of it held a candle to how bad it would get 4 months after I jumped off completely.  Everything went to hell very fast, and I ended up in the hospital for aspirating reflux into my lungs.  I had only gotten two hours of sleep in a five day period.  Approaching insanity.  And almost comically, they couldn't find anything wrong, so they discharged me.  By the grace of God, my mother (who had recently gone through the same recovery process) flew down and watched me as I slept very fitfully on a recliner, struggling to breathe, but... somehow I slept.  And I woke several times startled, choking on dried reflux that had fused my throat shut, but my mother would always be there with water for me to drink, open up my airways, settle down, and go back to sleep.  It eventually did go away.  It took weeks.  But it did go away.

 

And now it came back.  But rather than panic about it; I just go down to the recliner when things get back and just sleep upright.  It won't be a perfect sleep, but at least I can sleep knowing that my body won't allow me to die.  It'll always wake me up in the event of a fused throat.  I can wake up panicked but I will drink water, calm down, then sleep as best I can.  Until the wave stops.

 

I know this ends.  It has to.  I've been keeping my GI doctors up to date with my progress as I go.  I told them that if they continue to prescribe this medication as a response to people that have chronic reflux (like I did) because PPIs aren't working, then they at least need to know what to do in the event that one of their patients is directed to stop taking it.  Because the modern medical community really doesn't know much about this.

 

Anyway, too much to summarize here.  Glad to be with you all, and I keep you all in my thoughts.  Recover well, be safe.

 

-feathercap

[[ma...]]

Hello feathercap Welcome to Benzobuddies

 

We are glad you found us. It's awful how sick benzodiazepines can make us.  So sorry to hear what you are going through. Our members have gone through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal, so you'll be able to connect with others who understand what you're going through. You have come a long way, well done.  No matter how bad it seems, this is temporary, it will get better..

 

You will find some very valuable support and information on the forum.  Our members are happy to share their personal experiences with you and support you.. Please feel free to browse the boards and post questions to any of the dedicated threads.

 

I'll give you a link to the Ashton Manual, an excellent resource about these types of drugs. The information will help validate that what you are going through.  You might want to post questions or comments on the Post Withdrawal Recovery Board. Our members will be happy to share their experiences.

 

The Ashton Manual

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

 

Please take time to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice.  Go to the top of the page and select PROFILE then choose forum profile then insert drug history into the text box and remember to click change profile

 

Welcome aboard

Magrita

 

[[Ma...]]

Welcome to bb fearthercap.  I am sorry to hear about that horrible reflux.  Glad you no longer let it terrify you.  Shows great acceptance and that's a gift.  We have many good threads here for you to read.  The links the moderator sent you and there is also a protracted thread on the Homepage that you do have to sign on to join.  Just read the protracted thread and it will explain how to join if you want.  Ask all the questions you want and participate anyway you feel comfortable.  Congratulations on being benzo free!!  Mary 💜

[[fe...]]

Thank you so much for the well-wishes and replies.  I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner; I was smack dab in the middle of a pretty bad wave.  Now that the backside of it is showing, I'll start posting my story more often.

 

Thanks again, and glad to be here. 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you so much for the well-wishes and replies.  I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner; I was smack dab in the middle of a pretty bad wave.  Now that the backside of it is showing, I'll start posting my story more often.

 

Thanks again, and glad to be here. 

 

Glad to see you again, hop in anywhere you like.  We are all here to support you  . Mary