Can’t tolerate the outside world

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Why at 17 months despite continuing to rest, being homebound I can’t tolerate the outside world or much human contact. Even at times speaking to my kids it’s to much for my brain, I can no longer go to the small store 2 miles away, I lay in my dark quiet room with no stimuli. I’m dealing with awful mental symptoms, fatigue, malaise, sore throat, depression. I merely have no anxiety more of anger/upset that something is happening in my brain I don’t understand. My youngest has to go to a sitter while my husband is at work as I can’t care for her st all alone. I was starting to get a little better going to the park, do a little more and got knocked back down, so much so that even looking outside causes me to feel weird in the head. Anyone else. I haven’t done anything different. Beginning of the month I did try Zoloft 6mg for 4 days when this really started ramping up but 100% Zoloft is not the cause as this started before. I feel like I’m slowly shutting down mentally and my world of what I can’t tolerate is getting smaller and smaller

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32 views and no one deals with this?

[[Ma...]]

I could not tolerate the outside world until I pushed myself back to work. I think I am able to be calm in public and enjoying the world since this year.

What you described was how I felt in withdrawal and I do not know how to help, I can only say, yes, I know how this feels. For me, I found a balance between giving my brain rest and peace and pushing myself and forcing myself to go out no matter what.

Are you completely sure Zoloft is not making the problem bigger?

However, here comes a hug. Many members have written such posts like yours, you are not alone.

[[de...]]

I've felt like this HI01. 

 

I find it really, really hard, but believe that when I force myself out I feel a bit better.  It doesn't last long, guess I've got to make it a habit, no matter what. 

 

Having absolutely no stimuli will lead to feelings of depression.  Exposure therapy really is the only thing that seems to work.  Evidence based. 

 

Just a little bit HI01. 

 

Dee

[[th...]]

Why at 17 months despite continuing to rest, being homebound I can’t tolerate the outside world or much human contact. Even at times speaking to my kids it’s to much for my brain, I can no longer go to the small store 2 miles away, I lay in my dark quiet room with no stimuli. I’m dealing with awful mental symptoms, fatigue, malaise, sore throat, depression. I merely have no anxiety more of anger/upset that something is happening in my brain I don’t understand. My youngest has to go to a sitter while my husband is at work as I can’t care for her st all alone. I was starting to get a little better going to the park, do a little more and got knocked back down, so much so that even looking outside causes me to feel weird in the head. Anyone else. I haven’t done anything different. Beginning of the month I did try Zoloft 6mg for 4 days when this really started ramping up but 100% Zoloft is not the cause as this started before. I feel like I’m slowly shutting down mentally and my world of what I can’t tolerate is getting smaller and smaller

 

Good chatting with you, Hl01. Do you think you could try getting outside again, just maybe for a short time? I've spent plenty of days in a dark house with earplugs in. My CNS felt like it was just a raw wound. But, I find that slowly getting back outside for a walk to the park, etc., really does help in the long run.

 

Hang in there!

[[cl...]]

Your post is currently my life at a little over 12 months out! I was making progress (IE) working out again etc only to get knocked back down once again. Now I'm once again 100% agoraphobic while also battling internal Akathesia.

[[Iw...]]

Your post is currently my life at a little over 12 months out! I was making progress (IE) working out again etc only to get knocked back down once again. Now I'm once again 100% agoraphobic while also battling internal Akathesia.

 

Clear, are you able to work during this wave?

[[2K...]]

I cannot force myself to go out unless I really need something from the grocery store and only then do I do it.

  I’ve got almost all my friends out of my life since I’ve jumped. I get aggravated talking to them.

Like you said no patience. And yes,  I too have use the exact phrase, that my world is getting “small”.

  I’m only six months after my jump but it’s time to go back to work now and I loathe the thought of  it.

This is not funny and  i’m sure it’s a common symptom among a lot of people.

Some of us are more sensitive than others to outside stimuli.

  I wish I could stay home another year or two or just retire already  I’m in my 60s.

But I can’t afford to,  so I’ve got to go out and find a job. Ha.

So no you are not alone.

I’m going on six months now of this solitary confinement

  Survival is going to force me to go out when I have to work.

I just hope it’s not going to be torturous.

 

[[Ra...]]

Why at 17 months despite continuing to rest, being homebound I can’t tolerate the outside world or much human contact. Even at times speaking to my kids it’s to much for my brain, I can no longer go to the small store 2 miles away, I lay in my dark quiet room with no stimuli. I’m dealing with awful mental symptoms, fatigue, malaise, sore throat, depression. I merely have no anxiety more of anger/upset that something is happening in my brain I don’t understand. My youngest has to go to a sitter while my husband is at work as I can’t care for her st all alone. I was starting to get a little better going to the park, do a little more and got knocked back down, so much so that even looking outside causes me to feel weird in the head. Anyone else. I haven’t done anything different. Beginning of the month I did try Zoloft 6mg for 4 days when this really started ramping up but 100% Zoloft is not the cause as this started before. I feel like I’m slowly shutting down mentally and my world of what I can’t tolerate is getting smaller and smaller

 

I'm not an expert but 6-weeks is a VERY fast taper for a Benzo.  You were on it for awhile.  I'd give yourself some time.  I've been tapering for two years slowly and I'm just starting to feel horrible after decreasing by very small increments. I just think our body gets used to the chemicals and it takes a while to heal.  I'm sorry you are going through this... don't feel alone... I feel everything you described. Zoloft made me sick along with all the other antidepressants.  Have you tried something natural like CBD. People on this forum are saying it helps.  My thoughts are with you. 

[[Tr...]]

This is really a strange feeling. When I'm outside the house, I feel better after an hour. Then I get calm. But when I'm back, my body is so upset. And I don't want to do it again. My friend does everything outdoors. And it gives me low self-esteem, it should not be like this. So just accept, and wait for the future. 

[[Ra...]]

This is really a strange feeling. When I'm outside the house, I feel better after an hour. Then I get calm. But when I'm back, my body is so upset. And I don't want to do it again. My friend does everything outdoors. And it gives me low self-esteem, it should not be like this. So just accept, and wait for the future. 

 

 

I actually hate saying this but me too and I thought something was wrong with me.  It kind of makes me feel encouraged that it's not me but the med.  I get out after dragging my feet to shower, etc... I'm better and as soon as I'm home I'm depressed and sick, unmotivated etc.  My confidence level is at an all time low too and I've cancelled so many things because "I don't feel good or don't feel like it". This a crappy way to live. 

[[wa...]]

If you allow yourself to do this, it is very common to develop agarophobia from anxiety. The best way to deal with this is to force yourself out of your comfort zone. It's easier if you have someone to do this with. Go to work, attend a support group, etc....that sort of thing. It really does help to get out and about and to interact with people instead of over the internet from home.

[[2K...]]

Yeah I’ve canceled things because I didn’t feel like it or I didn’t feel well enough to go out too.

 

I totally agree that it would be nice to have someone to go out and do things with!.. ...it would make it so much easier.  But trying to motivate myself on my own,  I just can’t do it.  I’ll talk myself out of even going grocery shopping until I absolutely have to.  I wasn’t like this before.

 

You summed it up, it’s anxiety,  that’s what it is.  I guess I’m just waiting for those neurotransmitter receptors to start growing back in my brain.

In the meantime, I cocoon.

[[Ma...]]

Yeah I’ve canceled things because I didn’t feel like it or I didn’t feel well enough to go out too.

 

I totally agree that it would be nice to have someone to go out and do things with!.. ...it would make it so much easier.  But trying to motivate myself on my own,  I just can’t do it.  I’ll talk myself out of even going grocery shopping until I absolutely have to.  I wasn’t like this before.

 

You summed it up, it’s anxiety,  that’s what it is.  I guess I’m just waiting for those neurotransmitter receptors to start growing back in my brain.

In the meantime, I cocoon.

 

nothing wrong with cocoon-ing I still need to do it from time to time. You are so early in withdrawal, I think everyone here is doing the right thing to give it more time to recover. And to do what's necessary like doing a little household, get food etc. - and that is a lot, when you are in withdrawal!!!

[[Ca...]]

Yeah I’ve canceled things because I didn’t feel like it or I didn’t feel well enough to go out too.

 

I totally agree that it would be nice to have someone to go out and do things with!.. ...it would make it so much easier.  But trying to motivate myself on my own,  I just can’t do it.  I’ll talk myself out of even going grocery shopping until I absolutely have to.  I wasn’t like this before.

 

You summed it up, it’s anxiety,  that’s what it is.  I guess I’m just waiting for those neurotransmitter receptors to start growing back in my brain.

In the meantime, I cocoon.

 

nothing wrong with cocoon-ing I still need to do it from time to time. You are so early in withdrawal, I think everyone here is doing the right thing to give it more time to recover. And to do what's necessary like doing a little household, get food etc. - and that is a lot, when you are in withdrawal!!!

Hi Hi01,

This is/has been such a big thing for me, and over many yrs depending on my tapering/med situation... I cant say its anxiety related for me, and despite ticking all the boxes, I wouldnt say im actually depressed.. -Fatigued and worn out though for sure... No reward for effort chemistry, is how I look at it..

 

I quoted this, because its a big yes to both, for me... (in addition to the others)

I feel there is a point where it doesnt pay to try and fight it too much, -the “have to’s” are enough..

But then the tide changes that little bit, and a gentle push forward becomes productive, -as people describe.. Its going to be personal, and depend on ones symptom profile to some extent, -and IMO...

 

At the moment, after a long “lounge period”, Im starting to flick back and forth between “can and cant”, and its like night and day...  The “want” to do things flooded in this morning again and Its like im alive again.. (for our standards)..

 

So I guess my humble thoughts are -If you cant, dont let it drag you down even further, but if it is possible to take even tiny steps forward, then that can only help... 

 

I know im still tapering other meds, so im trying to write around that, and kinda leave out whats directly related to current tapering.. I do feel that a good part of the last few months has had a revisitation (increase) of valium related symptoms/damage under it all at 12-15months out...

I feel the more we can understand our own situations, the easier it is to contend with, so just take what feels right from what I write..  (if anything)

 

Once this has gone, Im writing a success story..!! Seriously, its hell as it drags on for so long, and I so hope you get a break soon, -atleast enough to know you will be ok too...

Do what you can, -a gentle push in the right direction, and dont over stress on what you just cant do, -would be my thoughts, fwiw.. (Easier said than done..)

 

These meds sure have hooks that go deep, but the body is pretty darn amazing too.. Deep healing can take some time, but it does happen...

 

And I will shut up now..

Wishing you the best..

 

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I would totally agree it’s anxiety but I just took my daugher for a walk this afternoon and I’m still in my room with a pressure in my head, burning feeling in Brain and dizzy fuzzy headed. All from taking her on a short walk, does my cns in. At 17 m off. I can’t even go into a store with bright lights yet work...that would be a dream if I found work. Or even go shopping would be nice. My brain feels awful just awful

[[Ca...]]

But seriously well done on the short walk..!! I can imagine that it was no small thing...

 

[[Ra...]]

Yeah I’ve canceled things because I didn’t feel like it or I didn’t feel well enough to go out too.

 

I totally agree that it would be nice to have someone to go out and do things with!.. ...it would make it so much easier.  But trying to motivate myself on my own,  I just can’t do it.  I’ll talk myself out of even going grocery shopping until I absolutely have to.  I wasn’t like this before.

 

You summed it up, it’s anxiety,  that’s what it is.  I guess I’m just waiting for those neurotransmitter receptors to start growing back in my brain.

In the meantime, I cocoon.

 

Your message sounds like I'm saying it.  I have found that it's a little easier when I tell people that I am going through this.  I have even attached Stevie Niks testimony on her Benzo/withdrawal journey.  Thing is... she had money and could go to rehab but she speaks harsh on how Benzo's almost ruined her and her music career.  Her bandmates have said publicly that she was cancelling rehearsals, etc.  It's not just us... it's many and we are not alone.  I just keep on going... one day at a time and pray for the day I get set free from this mental prison.  Thanks for sharing .  :thumbsup:

[[qu...]]

I have made a " safe space" on my back porch. Nobody can see me. Hope this helps.

[[Ra...]]

I have made a " safe space" on my back porch. Nobody can see me. Hope this helps.

 

Yes..  that might just motivate me to clean up that back balcony which I neglected all summer.  I didn't sit out there once.  My kids are seeing me struggle through this and I think their scared.  😢

[[Ma...]]

I was a long term benzos user, 15 years. I switched from Ativan to Valium, then tapered down from 15 mg V to 5mg. I had to jump, had terrible psychotic symptoms and was taken by ambulance to a mental health center where they made me cold turkey. I went to outpatient therapy for a few months. After a bad few months I seemed to be better. I have been off totally for one year this past July. However, beginning in August, I am in bed most of the time. I am either sleeping or just lying there listening to audiobooks. I do not drive,and only to to medical appointments and the hairdresser occasionally. My husband does all the housework and yard work. I cook nice meals a few times a week, and get up for few hours each afternoon, have dinner with him and watch Jeopardy and maybe a little tv, then back to bed. When I sleep, I sleep deeply and often have unusual dreams. I am becoming very depressed, thinking I would be better by now. I am 67 and my husband is 72.

[[Ra...]]

I was a long term benzos user, 15 years. I switched from Ativan to Valium, then tapered down from 15 mg V to 5mg. I had to jump, had terrible psychotic symptoms and was taken by ambulance to a mental health center where they made me cold turkey. I went to outpatient therapy for a few months. After a bad few months I seemed to be better. I have been off totally for one year this past July. However, beginning in August, I am in bed most of the time. I am either sleeping or just lying there listening to audiobooks. I do not drive,and only to to medical appointments and the hairdresser occasionally. My husband does all the housework and yard work. I cook nice meals a few times a week, and get up for few hours each afternoon, have dinner with him and watch Jeopardy and maybe a little tv, then back to bed. When I sleep, I sleep deeply and often have unusual dreams. I am becoming very depressed, thinking I would be better by now. I am 67 and my husband is 72.

 

I am so sorry.  I saw myself in what you said you were doing. Let this encourage you... thank God you have a loving husband and you can sleep.  You are healing and I beleive you will mend eventually.  I am alone... with nobody and have to do everything myself and since I lost my job I have to go find work feeling like total crap at the age of 62. I have no boyfriend, no friends to help, nobody.  And I'm not done with my taper.  I'm afraid I will end up on the street homeless because I can barely make it to Dr. appts.    I'm really scared and reading about protracted  sxs and terrified.  So be blessed that you have what you have... it could be worse...